A week has passed, looks like she lost interest

[ZaCool]

Basically this chick was showing a lot of interest, eye contact, looks, always sticking around and not leaving when she sees me (despite not knowing each other, never talking or anything) after a few months i decided to hit on her and i did, she was responsive and quite interested, texted a few times but then i had some family emergency and she blocked me on messenger, i forgot all about her and moved on cause for over a month i was focused on this family issue ... a couple months pass, she sees me on campus, messages me, says hi, but i could still feel she was avoiding me (even though i wasnt even chasing lol) .

long story short i saw her once with a guy at this bar at 1 in the morning (She saw me too) and since i never really had any feelings i didnt care much ... a month after that she would message me once a week, she even walked up to me on campus and asked me if i want to sit with her (when she runs her mouth she literally tells me everything) ... i asked her out twice and both time she said yes but they said she cant make it , but would still message me ... now if she just avoided me i would've been cool with it but nope, she was still messaging me, so one time a couple weeks ago i got mad and told her i have known her for 4 months and she flaked twice and blocked twice and looks like she ain't interested so why she acts like she is ? plus i told her i seen her with that dude (to which she replied he's no one and i shouldnt worry about him) .

and her response was that she never blocked and shes sorry she never meant to flake but things werent going well for her and her aunt died ...etc , i told her " okay look, this friday at 8 meet me at the beach" and she actually did show up and we spent 3 hours on the *****, done a little of teasing, she told me probably her entire life store plus some touches here and there, and when she went home she sent me a text (yeah i have her number) telling me she had a great time and really wants to do it again soon but this time she picks the place , my answer was " cool you pick the place and when you have something in mind hit me up " ...

Its been over a week since that conversation and she was "busy" with her sisters weeding that should end tomorrow as far as i know.

in short :
- showed a lot of interest
- went out with me
- texted saying she wanna do it again
- been over a week and she never contacted me once

P.S: i ain't contacting her this time, i already made it clear if she wants it she can come get it and its time she starts putting some effort into it .

I admit we click well and would probably make a good couple but games and lying ain't my thing, and actions speak louder than words, words are cheap actions are not, i made a desecion to not contact her ever again unless she does first .

 

[marmel75]

Men are expected to lead. If you wait for a woman to lead interactions all I can say is good luck with that. You still dont get it.

Your role is to setup the interactions and her role is to agree and meet you where and when you say.

Men take action. You want the woman to take action and just sit back and be a passenger instead of the driver and this will not turn out well for you either now or in the future.

I'd say she is probably more disappointed in you.

 

[Roober]

You e been on one date, have not had sex and your talking about a relationship?

As with everyone that asks. Reach out, set up a date and you'll have your answer. When women show this kind of wishy washy behavior for periods of time, it is often a lack of leadership on the mans part.

Just start assuming women need you to lead them like her dad (within reason) and that will answer your question.

 

[marmel75]

You e been on one date, have not had sex and your talking about a relationship?

As with everyone that asks. Reach out, set up a date and you'll have your answer. When women show this kind of wishy washy behavior for periods of time, it is often a lack of leadership on the mans part.

Just start assuming women need you to lead them like her dad (within reason) and that will answer your question.

Yeah pretty much what I said...the passivity and lack of drive displayed by young guys these days is completely mind boggling to me.

 

[sph21]

Lately I was tired of replying to this kind of thread. I can't believe how clueless some men are. Never reward her bad behavior with your attention and never let a girl lead the interactions. I can't believe it's too hard for them to understand these simple principles.

@ OP, attraction has an expiry date. Act too late, and you're chasing a ghost. Always strike while the iron is hot.

 

[Spidah]

Bitches who don't get with your program get dropped.

It ain't complex. You also need to get yourself a rotation of bitches. Shouldn't be so hard pressed drooling over one bytch after a first date. That shyt is weak.

Don't forget having any kind of scarcity mentality is some weak ass beta male shyt.

 

[ZaCool]

You know guys for a bunch of dudes who specialise in f*cking countless chicks and being chick magnets you seem to forget a pretty important rule .... Don't put any effort if shes putting none .

Yes men approach, yes men initiate and build comfort , yes men lead the way and asking a woman what she wants from you is not suggested .... however you reach a certain point where you have to sit back, relax and simply wait for her to show you she wants you , sex or no sex its irrelevant some girls wait for marriage some only sleep with their bf after a long time and others f*ck any man they meet , iam looking for quality here .

I made it clear by actions and words i want her she hints she wants me but she is not acting on it despite me leading pretty well ... after 5 months iam done putting effort into a lose/lose situation especially after i made it clear its her turn after being my turn at least 5 times .... i have no reason to initiate anymore .

 

[marmel75]

You know guys for a bunch of dudes who specialise in f*cking countless chicks and being chick magnets you seem to forget a pretty important rule .... Don't put any effort if shes putting none .

Yes men approach, yes men initiate and build comfort , yes men lead the way and asking a woman what she wants from you is not suggested .... however you reach a certain point where you have to sit back, relax and simply wait for her to show you she wants you , sex or no sex its irrelevant some girls wait for marriage some only sleep with their bf after a long time and others f*ck any man they meet , iam looking for quality here .

I made it clear by actions and words i want her she hints she wants me but she is not acting on it despite me leading pretty well ... after 5 months iam done putting effort into a lose/lose situation especially after i made it clear its her turn after being my turn at least 5 times .... i have no reason to initiate anymore .

Again that is all well and fine. If you wanted a second date, you should have set up a eecond date not wait for her to do it.

First of all, I have no idea why you went through all of this to get to this point and then be like "Oh I'm just going to wait for her to do it now". That makes literally zero sense. Spin it however you want but if you end up in the business of waiting for a woman to set up a date with you its going to be a long time.

Men set up dates, women accept them and show up for them. Dont expect her to play the male role in this and stop playing the female role. It doesnt matter how long you've known her, once you went out on a "date" the clock basically was reset to 0 and you should be acting accordingly.

 

[Visionist]

She wants a beta orbiter. You won't be the only one.

Ignore her, go somewhere new where you'll meet new women. You won't give a fück since you'll never have to see them again if you don't want to. Open, flirt, escalate.

 

[Banelord]

I think that she looking at you as second rate and there not enough game to bump you up to first class. There a bunch of guys on the farm team so that why she flacking. Women go after what they want and what they want is the men that get other girls.

 

[Roober]

You know guys for a bunch of dudes who specialise in f*cking countless chicks and being chick magnets you seem to forget a pretty important rule .... Don't put any effort if shes putting none .

Yes men approach, yes men initiate and build comfort , yes men lead the way and asking a woman what she wants from you is not suggested .... however you reach a certain point where you have to sit back, relax and simply wait for her to show you she wants you , sex or no sex its irrelevant some girls wait for marriage some only sleep with their bf after a long time and others f*ck any man they meet , iam looking for quality here .

I made it clear by actions and words i want her she hints she wants me but she is not acting on it despite me leading pretty well ... after 5 months iam done putting effort into a lose/lose situation especially after i made it clear its her turn after being my turn at least 5 times .... i have no reason to initiate anymore .

5 months of effort and no sex? And you want a relationship with this one? And you come here and make a post about this woman?

Your the hamster and dont even realize it.

 

[marmel75]

5 months of effort and no sex? And you want a relationship with this one? And you come here and make a post about this woman?

Your the hamster and dont even realize it.

Funniest part about it is after going through all of this the past 5 months he finally gets her on a date and then decides he's "too cool" to ask her out again and it now becomes her job to do it...can't make this sh!t up if you tried...

This is the poster child for exactly what i talk about with guys reading this material and having ZERO context on how to apply it in real life situations.

 

[MatureDJ]

If a woman doesn't show me enough interest in the first date or two, I bail. NEXT!

 

[MrWood]

she is in love with a player, and it's not you

 

[Magotrox]

Take you focus out of the woman. Focus in yourself.

 

[sph21]

I made it clear by actions and words i want her she hints she wants me but she is not acting on it despite me leading pretty well ... after 5 months iam done putting effort into a lose/lose situation especially after i made it clear its her turn after being my turn at least 5 times .... i have no reason to initiate anymore .

She basically said "no" indirectly and your reaction is "I'm tired of initiating". Dude, you still don't understand it. It's going to take you a long time to figure this out. Asking multiple times for a date and being rejected multiple times is not leading. It is desperation. You're not respecting yourself. You lead yourself by asking her for a date. And if she accepts it, you take her on a date. If she rejects your invitation, then you find someone else who is interested in meeting with you.

You're basically waiting for her to come to her senses and hoping that she will realize what she has missed all this time (which is you).

She had tasted you and she doesn't like it. She tasted someone else and she likes it better than your flavor. The solution is simple: find another girl who likes your flavor.

What you're expecting is a classic AFC behavior. I'm having a difficult time of translating what's on my mind right now because English is my third language. So, I guess I just save my time and energy and let you learn it from your own experiences to understand what I already understood and what I'm not telling you about.

 

[Spaz]

She basically said "no" indirectly and your reaction is "I'm tired of initiating". Dude, you still don't understand it. It's going to take you a long time to figure this out.

You're basically waiting for her to come to her senses and hoping that she will realize what she has missed all this time (which is you).

She had tasted you and she doesn't like it. She tasted someone else and she likes it better than your flavor. The solution is simple: find another girl who likes your flavor.

What you're expecting is a classic AFC behavior. I'm having a difficult time of translating what's on my mind right now because English is my third language. So, I guess I just save my time and energy and let you learn it from your own experiences to understand what I already understood and what I'm not telling you about.

Banyak org putih bodoh

 

[sph21]

Banyak org putih bodoh

Hahaha. Orang timur juga banyak yang bodoh kok.

I read your reply that you often go to Singapore. I didn't know that you can speak/ write in Melayu/ Bahasa Indonesia.

 

[Spaz]

Hahaha. Orang timur juga banyak yang bodoh kok.

I read your reply that you often go to Singapore. I didn't know that you can speak/ write in Melayu/ Bahasa Indonesia.

Org Dayak bisa mempertikai org putih dgn senang

I do drop by Batam for some R&R

 

[ZaCool]

what? no...no no no

you got it all wrong. you never tell a woman any of the following lines

"let me know if you change your mind"
"you know where to reach me"
"its up to you"

anytime you let a girl know the ball is in her court, youre essentially saying "my balls are in your hand"

calling her out for flaking on you? man come on. this chick has no reason to deliver her side of the bargain when youre giving away your part for free. your frustration with her is proof of this.

i'll bet money you didnt even escalate when you went out with her. talked about her life story? who gives a fvck. youre at the beach. you should be making out with her and going for the lay. you know how many chicks are down to do it just to cross that off their bucket list?

you think you handled things right but you couldnt be more wrong. and i actually think this girl has (or at least had) some type of interest in you. youre just too AFC in mentality

i never told a woman before " if you change your mind " or " its up to you " ... as for you know where to reach me ? f*Ck yeah i have, iam not her personal servant or alarm, there is a fine line between being her b*tch and initiating, and when i feel iam being dragged into the "b*tch" zone i make it clear that wont happen ... she is not the only girl iam talking to, just a couple days ago i was at this party with this chick, i hijacked her from her friends and some guy and spent the night touching her here and there (didnt make out , she was kinda sick ) .

as for the first chick, she is playing obvious games , i have had girls acting like that in the past and truth works 99.9% of the time, what is the truth ? to tell her to cut the crap, iam not even interested in dating her anymore and havent talked to her for some days , and despite having no problem playing dumb sometimes its better to let the other party know that they are not smarter than you and shouldnt cross the line .

now what happened at the beach ? yes she told me her life story, which is what i wanted to know i wanted to know her entire background and what iam getting myself into, she kept talking and talking and told me everything about her life and family without me telling her anything, as for why i did not make out with her , its simple iam not gonna try to play it cool , 1- i had no idea what kind of sh*t iam getting my self into cause she seems somewhat crazy, and 2- its true we went out but her previous behaviour turned me off big time i just couldnt stand her and needed time to cool off, not exactly the kind of state you wanna be in when making out and escalating sexually .

i have her number but she keeps blocking me, then unblocking me to text, she was even getting a bit dirty a few nights ago and i was going with the flow and heavily flirting with her .... anyways iam not into all this bs, i lost interest in her.... til last month my interest was high but now its like "meh" so iam not gonna even try , if she comes to me cool if not then be it, plenty of college chicks waiting for someone to approach them , plus i already have a chick on the side so iam not exactly lacking options .