A"taboo" topic

[SunnyD]

Ok, quick question... just wondering if you guys only do certain sexual acts (specifically..anal, ok..) with girls you really dig.. Or would you do it with any girl and it all depends on if she would?

I ask because, this fwb I am talking with again.. he and I discuss our sex lives openly when we are not hooking up. (Which we currently aren't and haven't in several months.) Anyway, he asked me the other day if I've "had any good anal lately"..I said no and asked him the same, since he has been sleeping with (but not dating) this girl since he and I called things of. He said "no I wish" and I said "why, she doesn't do that?" And he said "I don't know I haven't asked."

Just found that surprising...because he and I shared a fantastic sexual relationship and he was all into that and very adventurous and fun, had no problem asking ME. So why wouldn't he ask her?

Does it come down to a matter of:

a) No DESIRE to ask her or do that with her. (she's not exactly a knockout and I get the impression he is just using her for sex and because "she does everything" for him....outside the bedroom apparently. He and his friends have both stated he is not, and has no plans to, date her. He has also told me that she is just "ok" in bed.)

or

b) He has more respect for her than he ever did for me so doesn't want to do those "taboo" things wth her.

 

[WesCottII]

3) He's a ponce.

4) He hasn't asked YET.

 

[DavenJuan]

well IMO

i think that he "obviously" would like to try it with this other female based on his response "i wish". but the big thing your missin Sunny is ..

you were/are a FB. so asking a FB about anal is a bit more acceptable then asking a girl that you are casually dating.

now of course that isnt always the case. some may not care who the person is or title. but if there is any distinct difference, that would be the most significant.

 

[KontrollerX]

The answer is b.

Sorry kiddo.

 

[MotownMack]

I don't think it's a respect issue. Since when is anal disrespectful?

It could all be a ploy on his end to act like he doesn't get it from her, and is opening the door for you to say "I'll do it."

It also could be that you were just more adventurous. He said she wasn't good in bed, and anal is one of those things you do when you're crazy and in the heat of passion. Doesn't sound like he was motivated or inspired by her, or maybe he thought she was lame and would just say no anyway.

In any case, this sounds like a fairly casual exchange between the two of you. I wouldn't read too much into it.

 

[macallik]

c) She is less 'sexually free' and he thinks he knows the answer before he even asks the question.

Sure there are some guys who don't allow their s/o to partake in 'sexual perversions' such as anal or oral sex, but from my pov, most guys just want to conquer every hole with the least amount of resistance, respect notwithstanding

 

[SunnyD]

well IMO

i think that he "obviously" would like to try it with this other female based on his response "i wish". but the big thing your missin Sunny is ..

you were/are a FB. so asking a FB about anal is a bit more acceptable then asking a girl that you are casually dating.

now of course that isnt always the case. some may not care who the person is or title. but if there is any distinct difference, that would be the most significant.

Makes sense, but I think she is just a fwb as well.

 

[j0n024]

Whats a FWB? Fvck with buddy?

I dont think its that bad ....I think he actually has more respect for you then for his new girly. I mean most of the time when you have a relationship and you end it on "GOOD,'' notes then more times then not he will still have those feelings for you, I'm not saying he is going to try to hook back up with you but he still feels close to you and is able to talk to you about these sort of things since youve had a connection before. I think its the opposite of B...he has more respect for you.....but then again its just my opinion.

 

[Rebound Material]

Whats a FWB? Fvck with buddy?

FWB: Friends With Benefits

 

[iqqi]

It's B.

This is obvious.

Men who are really into a woman, care what that woman thinks of him, and don't ask for things they find sexually perverse.

On the other hand, a FB is someone you do those things with, that you don't want to admit to doing or liking.

A doesn't really even make sense.

 

[MotownMack]

This is obvious.

Men who are really into a woman, care what that woman thinks of him, and don't ask for things they find sexually perverse.

First of all, it's far from obvious, no matter what the true answer may be.

Second of all, I would actually trust a woman I really care about with some perversion of mine, then I would trust a random chick that would be apt to let the whole world know, so I think you've got it exactly backwards.

If we were talking pedophilia or something along those lines, then that might apply. But we're talking about anal sex her- pretty common, and most girls I know that don't want to do it, has nothing to with perversion, and everything to do with pain.

Thirdly, A does make sense, it's basically what another poster and I suggested. That he didn't have a desire or motivation to ask her, because he wasn't that turned on by her to begin with, or knew she probably not be up for based on other factors.

 

[iqqi]

First of all, it's far from obvious, no matter what the true answer may be.

Second of all, I would actually trust a woman I really care about with some perversion of mine, then I would trust a random chick that would be apt to let the whole world know, so I think you've got it exactly backwards.

If we were talking pedophilia or something along those lines, then that might apply. But we're talking about anal sex her- pretty common, and most girls I know that don't want to do it, has nothing to with perversion, and everything to do with pain.

I know a lot of guys who find it perverse.

That and 3somes and some other things that are NOT common actually.

They do these things with random chicks, and do NOT do it with girls they consider wifey material.

I know some guys who actually won't get rough with chicks they care about, the chicks have to MAKE them get rough!

Its cute.

 

[iqqi]

My point of reference, by the way, is from knowing a lot of "wifey material" girls, a lot of FB girls, and a lot of guys.

The guys are pretty open in discussion with me (esp when liquored up) so it pretty much confirms the different experiences FB girls have, compared to the experiences wifey materials have.

 

[MotownMack]

That and 3somes and some other things that are NOT common actually.

They do these things with random chicks, and do NOT do it with girls they consider wifey material.

I know some guys who actually won't get rough with chicks they care about, the chicks have to MAKE them get rough!

Immaterial and threesomes aren't even if the same category as anal sex, no need to over complicate it with unrelated topics.

Anyway, I am not going to get sucked into broad range debate about a bunch of unrelated topics - my only point is just to say I don't know what the reason is in this particular case, but it's far from "obvious" that any of the suggested answers given here are accurate.

 

[iqqi]

Immaterial and threesomes aren't even if the same category as anal sex, no need to over complicate it with unrelated topics.

Anyway, I am not going to get sucked into broad range debate about a bunch of unrelated topics - my only point is just to say I don't know what the reason is in this particular case, but it's far from "obvious" that any of the suggested answers given here are accurate.

That's fine, I probably wouldn't stick around for a debate.

However in many matters "of the heart" I have found that most things ARE obvious, and it is best to "keep it simple, stupid".

 

[MotownMack]

That's fine, I probably wouldn't stick around for a debate.

Based on what I've witnessed of your pasts posting mannerisms, I find this notion highly suspect.

And I didn't say I wouldn't debate it. I just don't want to broaden it to the point that they next thing you know, we're talking about topics or acts that have little do with the very specific thing the OP was referring to.

I can only relate to my own personal experience and a few of the friends I know (same as you said), and none of them would find something like anal sex so vile or objectionable that they would reserve it only for FWBs.

Not to say that it couldn't be the case, but I see it being much more obvious that if a chick is a lame fvck- that was key info for me- yeah, I might use her as a piece of ass, but I wouldn't be so into her that I would be wanting to experiment or try all kinds of new adventures with her, dirty or not. There's no passion, no drive, and very little motivation with people who have no chemistry in bed. Like a couple who have been married for 20 years, you pretty much do the act and get it over with-no frills, very vanilla sex.

 

[iqqi]

Thing is, I am getting the feeling from SunnyD that she is the kind of girl who wants to believe something, so guys are feeding it to her to get what they want, ie booty with NSA.

I highly doubt he isn't attracted to the other girl first of all, and if he is attracted enough to her to have sex with her, and he likes to poke the booty, then he will poke the booty with her. ESP if he doesn't find her good for much else.

As it stands, I suspect he is just feeding the ego of SunnyD to get his free milk and cookies, chocolate chip style. And she is an easy sell.

 

[DonJuan11]

Anyway, he asked me the other day if I've "had any good anal lately"..I said no and asked him the same, since he has been sleeping with (but not dating) this girl since he and I called things of. He said "no I wish" and I said "why, she doesn't do that?" And he said "I don't know I haven't asked."

Just found that surprising...because he and I shared a fantastic sexual relationship and he was all into that and very adventurous and fun, had no problem asking ME. So why wouldn't he ask her?

Does it come down to a matter of:

a) No DESIRE to ask her or do that with her. (she's not exactly a knockout and I get the impression he is just using her for sex and because "she does everything" for him....outside the bedroom apparently. He and his friends have both stated he is not, and has no plans to, date her. He has also told me that she is just "ok" in bed.)

or

b) He has more respect for her than he ever did for me so doesn't want to do those "taboo" things wth her.

He might just not be as sexually turned on by her as you. He didn't say "I'm afraid to ask."