A string of broken dates all in a row...wtf?

[ogre]

I had a date with N on a wedensday but when I called her at the appointed time and she was sick. (she really was, I could hear her voice she sounded terrible)

I saw J on a saturday, she came up for a photo shoot for my website. we made a date for the following saturday (it was her idea) I called her friday she said she was tired and was staying in that weekend but promised we'd go out maybe next saturday (that would be today). we're "just friends" which is fine by me, b'cause she's hot and has cute friends and would make a great wing-woman if we were to actually go out. called her today and she says "I'll call you right back" and she has not...

last saturday I called M for sunday lunch date. we confirmed 1PM. then I called her 'bout an hr before to let her know I was on the way over (she insists on that) and to ask if she wanted me to pick her up by car or by bike. so far so good. Then, on my way out the door, she called to say her elderly grandma called and wants to go shopping. So I'm like, tell grandma we have plans. we're just going to lunch. you can see granmda at 3. but nope, no date. she's like "I'm sorry" and I'm like, y'know what? forget about ever making plans with me again. what's the point? (oh...she's done this shyt before)

so anyway I went out to this indie film movie screening, a lot of actress/model/musician type chicks. some chicks I knew already and some I met. was like a candy store. I saw P and K, and met H and E. made a date with P for thurday afternoon for a photo shoot and with K for thurs eve to go to swordfight practice (her idea).

had another date scheduled with N for monday eve. she called me in the afternoon to say she couldn't make it. had to go catch a plane in the AM. she really sounded genuinely sorry. she alomst couln't find the words, very sweet. I said, OK, let's just go grab a bite and I'll drop you off at home. But no. so we rescheduled for tommorrow (sunday) for a motorcycle ride, but she's just flying in tonight, coming back form spring break @ daytona beach, so, after 5 nights of "girls gone wild" my guess is that tommorrow she'll be too tired. I'm not even going to call her. maybe I should drop her an email saying to skip it and get some rest.

thursday came and went and I have no idea what happened to P. phone tag that went nowhere. K left me an email saying her friend from out of town was in so she couldn't make it.

so my next scheduled "date" is tomorrow (with N), I have no plans for tonight. I'm gonna send email to A to see she if she wants to see a flick. (she cancelled one date on me so far) or L, just to say hi. we went out on a date a YEAR ago, showed her a great time, she thanked me and all that, and has been blowing me off ever since) I still have to follow up on H and E. and then there is S, the one on the internet who I have become hopelessly obsessed over. she is not returning my emails.

guys, wtf? it's not like I'm not going out into the field. is this normal? no one could possibly have this much bad luck. why not just stay home and whack my wee-wee?

 

[sapphire]

Listen, sit down and try to figure out what if anything you are doing wrong. Do you appear desperate or needy? Because women can sense a desperate guy a mile away and will cause them to run away.

Otherwise, we all experience dryspells once in a while so don't get discouraged. If God meant us to hook up constantly, we would have a serious overpopulation problem.

If you want to whack off to rid your frustration go ahead.

 

[ogre]

Listen, sit down and try to figure out what if anything you are doing wrong.

if I could figger it out I wouldn't be posting. duh.

Do you appear desperate or needy? Because women can sense a desperate guy a mile away and will cause them to run away

not that I can tell. each case on it's own seems perfectly normal and circumstantial.

Otherwise, we all experience dryspells once in a while so don't get discouraged.

yeah, but this is 4 years..... shyt, this has been my fawking life story. you couldn't write a comedy skit this bad.
there are AFC's out there who do far more stupid things then I, yet still manage to get lucky once in awhile. if you consider "luck" to be a factor, then I defenitely have the cards stacked against me.

 

[DoubleA]

Again..

Sapphire is right. Women tend to turn away from desperate guys. Or those guys giving off that vibe.

But if you don't feel like this is the case understand that it's numbers game. In Basketball, even the best shooters never hit over 70% of their shots. Every game has peaks and valleys in percentages. It's The Law of Averages. Just keep throwing and something will eventually stick.

Don't sweat it. Keep pushing.

 

[ogre]

Sunday (yesterday) came and went, not a word form N. didn't expect to hear from her anyway. I didn't bother to call.

I don't see what I could possibly be doing to appear "desperate". it's not like I'm calling these ho's every day and begging for a date. Hardly. I hardly even talk to them.

But if you don't feel like this is the case understand that it's numbers game. In Basketball, even the best shooters never hit over 70% of their shots. ...... Just keep throwing and something will eventually stick.

hey 70% failure rate would be awesome. I'm getting 100% failure rate. Nothing sticks. Nothing. where does it end?

 

[DoubleA]

Well

There is an ancient Chinese Proverb that says.."Nothing last forever, nothing bad last forever." It's the Yin and Yang. Right now it's all mental.

Just understand that everyone is capable of going on cold streaks just ride em out. Because you're bound to breakthrough. Maybe not today or tomorrow but next weekend.

Keep trying. Don't give up. Most importantly don't give up on yourself. It's their loss. This is what builds character..

 

[ogre]

thanks rollo, really. but it's not helping. that's great advice for a 16-yr old. I'm fawking 40.

 

[DoubleA]

Fine..

Then just give up.

 

[NewMan]

So then what do you want? There is no magic solution to this issue.

You must be resding women incorrectly.

These women your asking out are obviously not attracted to you or into you. If they were, they wouldn't be ditching your dates every time.

we're just going to lunch. you can see granmda at 3. but nope, no date. she's like "I'm sorry" and I'm like, y'know what? forget about ever making plans with me again. what's the point? (oh...she's done this shyt before)

You say your not desperate - but here you are putting up with women's sh#t - obviously more than once.

and what? you still keep going back for more

so my next scheduled "date" is tomorrow (with N),

Your banging your head against a brick wall.

This b#tch should be set aside - not matter how hot she is. She's told you already (in a woman's way) that she is not interested - yet you continue to try and date her.

and then there is S, the one on the internet who I have become hopelessly obsessed over. she is not returning my emails.

And then there is the above.

You don't have to be calling a woman every 5 minutes for her to know you are obsecessed or desperate. Women can sense these things.

You probably need to re-evaluate your interactions with women.

 

[Albion4]

Dude, don't you see the pattern? You need to go after some chicks whose names are longer the a single letter.

Sounds to me from what you posted that most of the women you are "dating" are either high socieity or wannabe high socieity. Ever think this might be the problem? Ever think about dating a girl who has no desire to go to a high profile film screening or have her photo taken for whatever? You might have more luck.

Also, NEVER date your work. I find it leads to all kinds of problems you don't want to deal with.

-Al

 

[averagejoe]

I might give someone a second chance once if they have a d**n good excuse but if she cancels again next her. I would also quit calling to confirm the dates. And if she insists next her

 

[DoubleD]

Hey Ogre..

ok I think I may have some advice although its always hard to judge externally...

The main problem that I am picking up is that you are sounding like you are catering to their needs too much. Ie: You always seem to call back to re-confirm etc. Stop doing this its making you pussified.

Allow me to show examples ...
>called her 'bout an hr before to let her know I was on the way >over (she insists on that) and to ask if she wanted me to pick >her up by car or by bike.

Ok I could ***** slap you about putting up wuth her attitude.. lines like "If uou want me to call you before I pick you up I'm going to need your credit card numbers.. I charge by the hour" or "I ain't your butler.. *****" depending on your character... come to mind. However.. fine.. lets presume that you *NEED* to do this with this particular woman. Why the **** would you ask her what she wants to be picked up in? Your a man.. you know.. call would be "Hey .. can't talk but i'll be there in an hour" (Phone off) Then make up your mind.. if you think she'll be in jeans go by bike.. if she is in a skirt tell her to change quickly. If you just want to be safe.. go the car.. if the car smells like ****.. take the bike.

also

>I called her friday she said she was tired and was staying in >that weekend

Ok.. again.. why the **** call? You;ve made the plan.. if you NEED to confirm either go the quick call and be there soon.. be ready. OR SMS something like "You better be wearing a sexy dress tomorrow night" But be more assertive about your plans. You aren't contacting her to confirm.. you already KNOW she's coming your just giving her more instructions etc.. get my point?

One final comment I would make is that your dates sound pretty boring. I mean we are talking dinner and movies. If these really are higher social status women you may want to think up something a little bit more interesting than what the other 200 ****s offer her. (Untill you have enough rapport that she likes you regardless)

Aside from that.. you really may just have had a bad string of experiences recently and thats all.

Shake them off... start with fresh women that you haven't taken **** from and try what I'm saying.

Peace.

 

[ogre]

>called her 'bout an hr before to let her know I was on the way >over (she insists on that) and to ask if she wanted me to pick >her up by car or by bike.

believe me "M" is officially nexted. and y'know she slipped a comment to me once that she can't get a BF in all of NY. Gee, I wonder why.....

Ok.. again.. why the **** call? You;ve made the plan..

we discussed going out but I didn't get the exact where and when; I just called to get the deets.

These women your asking out are obviously not attracted to you or into you. If they were, they wouldn't be ditching your dates every time.

ok, so wtf? am I the most unattractive dude on the planet? I can't see what I could possibly be doing wrong. "M" is a bytch. forget her. K, P & J we' just kinda friends, I am not "desperate" for any of them. the only one I halfway care about is "N" and she had a good excuse for not being available. as for "S", the reason I continue to obssess over her and won't "next" her is, hopefully it will keep me from getting obsessive over anyone else, and so she serves a purpose. strange, I know, but as I have said in previous posts, I can't be what I ain't, so I have to jedi-mind trick myself into using what I got to work for me.


Let me re-iterate something from my previous thread. When I was 26 I met a nice latina girl. we flirted for about a week, I asked her out, she said "yes". we were together for a few months and had lots of sex during that time. I didn't do anything special to get her. I had no DJ skills. she was a real hottie and guys hit on her all the time. Now, if anything, I am much better at talking to women. but no matter what I do, it seems like it's never good enough. The only women I can ever seem to attract are the fatties. And sorry, I can't do fat. I have my reasons which I won't get into now. but suffice to say I don't see why I should. I don't ask for HB10's. reasonably cute is fine. Just not fat.

 

[NewMan]

No one is saying your a UG.

But "Vibe", "Game", "GameFace" - whatever it is you want to call it, is all important.

The minute she knows your into het in a big way - you've lost.

the reason I continue to obssess over her and won't "next" her is, hopefully it will keep me from getting obsessive over anyone else, and so she serves a purpose. strange, I know, but as I have said in previous posts, I can't be what I ain't, so I have to jedi-mind trick myself into using what I got to work for me.

Then that's the DJ part of yourself that you need to work on.

Because - if your obsessed with a woman - your in the hole already.

 

[stevera004]

Originally posted by ogre


ok, so wtf? am I the most unattractive dude on the planet?

The only women I can ever seem to attract are the fatties. And sorry, I can't do fat. I have my reasons which I won't get into now. but suffice to say I don't see why I should. I don't ask for HB10's. reasonably cute is fine. Just not fat. [/B]

I hear you. Homely girls are fine. Plain girls are fine. Normal looking girls are fine. Fat girls are not fine. Period.

But, maybe you're aiming too high for what you can reasonably attract currently. So, what you can do is one or all of the following:

1) improve yourself (finances, health, attitude, charm, appreance, etc. etc.). This is long term but must be done. Consult this board for the details.

2) aim lower : self explanatory and will bring instant results. Maybe chicks with kids?

3) go foreign: you be able to get much better quality foreign chicks (from all the usual suspect countries) than domestic. Bigger risk (scam artists etc.) but maybe worth it.

It's up to you.

 

[ogre]

Homely girls are fine. Plain girls are fine. Normal looking girls are fine. Fat girls are not fine. Period.

thank you!

aim lower : self explanatory and will bring instant results. Maybe chicks with kids?

actually I should aim higher - as in higher age bracket. chicks in their 20's are easy enough to talk to but hard to nail down with any kind of plans. they have too many choices in men

go foreign: you be able to get much better quality foreign chicks

I haven't done the mail-order bride thing since I'm not looking fir a wife, but I do prefer foreign women. American women are fawked up (there's a song about that) and new york city women are the most fawked of all, IMHO