After recent experiences in my life and reacquainting myself with this forum, posts on dealing with break ups, winning back exes and so on, I came to a sad and yet enlightening realisation.
It's all based on psychology!
When it comes to seduction, it's your value in the eyes of your target that determines how successful you will be. Good looks, success, money, confidence, social proof, these all contribute to that psychological perception, while qualities such as honesty, generosity, and general good traits in a human being don't hold much value at all…and value, at its core, is merely a psychological perception.
Charisma and charm are also very powerful tools in seduction, because it's a way to make a woman feel good about being with you. When you hold a woman's gaze and show interest in her, or pay her compliments, you make her feel special and you feed her ego. Do it too much, however, and she loses interest and it's game over.
I've seen so many great looking guys and girls who are idolized from afar, but who continually have relationship problems and find themselves getting dumped or rejected, because they don't know how to keep the tension in the relationship, how to leave their lover wanting more, how to express the ability to walk away…or, in short, how to manipulate the minds of their girlfriend or boyfriend.
In fact, if you accept this understanding, good looks can be a curse because they allow more complacency. A good looking person may place too much value on their physical appeal and not enough on the importance of psychological attraction. They see themselves through the eyes of strangers, who place great value on their looks, and they think that’s all they need to keep a partner interested.
Even in long term relationships, you need to understand the psychology of attraction and maintaining your value in order for the relationship to survive. You can share the most incredible experiences, be totally loyal and loving to each other, and your girl might even claim you are the greatest thing to ever happen to her, and believe it 100%. However, this is not a constant! This is not her unwavering personality – it’s the way she feels at that particular moment while she has that particular perception of you. If you fail to maintain her interest or feelings, then you will see her personality change. Why? Because the psychology of your relationship has changed.
People often discuss what qualities attract women most…money, looks, confidence, game? They can’t make sense of hot girls who are in love with ugly guys, why women stick with abusive boyfriends (and vice versa) or why men and women sell out their dignity to chase their exes.
Neither men nor women can decide how they feel about someone and as it’s been said before “attraction is not a choice”. People often know a relationship is bad for them, they feel dissatisfied, have better options, have a list of reasons they should end it and move on…but rational thinking will always be trumped by emotional thinking.
Treating a woman badly constantly will probably drive her away, because there’s nothing in it for her. On the opposite end of the scale, if you put her on a pedestal and constantly feed her ego, she’s soon going to take it for granted and it will lose all meaning. They key is to give her a taste of what she wants, let her experience the highs of being with you, and then take it away, let her feel what it would be like never to experience that again. Just like a crack addict on a come down, she will start chasing her next high and associate you as the only person who can give that to her.
Talking to friends and acquaintances, looking on this forum, looking all over the internet, and I’ve experienced this so many times….you will see that there are a lot of guys who fall hard for unstable women. Some of these women are low quality b1tches, sometimes unattractive and hold no social value, but because they are unstable, they are unpredictable and exciting. They can be madly affectionate and needy one day, then cold and distant the next without explanation. It leaves us questioning ourselves, wondering why things have changed, wondering how to get it back and fvcking with our minds. Without even realising it, she is mastering the psychology of attraction, leaving you wanting more, creating tension.
I’ve seen a lot of people do this and I’m sure many of us have done it too. When our girlfriend turns cold on us or gives us some tension in our relationship, we get angry and announce that we’re done with her, we’re not going to take it any more and going to bang some other chicks…and yet inside we are craving her attention, we can’t think of any other girl except her and, in reality, we would turn down the hottest of women throwing themselves at us.
There is a lot of evidence to suggest that men and women are most likely to cheat on their partners (or keep their options open) when they’re at their most content and secure in their relationship. This is because attraction levels are low and they’re craving the emotional highs and lows that their relationship is failing to offer.
You will often see people making a big show of flirting with other guys/girls following an argument with their partner, or turn to someone else for attention, but this rarely has any intention behind it and is often done in retaliation.
This is the reason people can regain the interest of their ex with indifference or no contact. Women, especially, like to move on gradually. They feel like they need a safety net, someone to return to if their dating ventures don’t work out. If you’re texting her every day, guilt tripping her, shouting at her, ranting about her on Facebook or whatever, you’re indicating that you still care and that implies that you’re still available to her. However, if you remove yourself suddenly from her life, you make her decision seem final. It will hit her with more impact and your value will start to rise. It has nothing to do with you being more or less physically attractive, becoming a better person, wealthier or more sociable in this time…it’s about the psychological process going on in her own mind.
I can’t count how many times I’ve heard women moaning about an ex they dumped or seen them send texts or try to provoke a reaction from him. And the less reaction they get, the more they start to obsess over him.
In some cases, they will apologise to their ex and beg forgiveness. Is this because they realise they have been wrong and they feel bad about hurting their ex? No. Of course not! It’s because they have feelings for him again and they want him to take her back, or at least give her some attention again. Women will treat someone according to how they feel towards them.
It's all based on psychology!
When it comes to seduction, it's your value in the eyes of your target that determines how successful you will be. Good looks, success, money, confidence, social proof, these all contribute to that psychological perception, while qualities such as honesty, generosity, and general good traits in a human being don't hold much value at all…and value, at its core, is merely a psychological perception.
Charisma and charm are also very powerful tools in seduction, because it's a way to make a woman feel good about being with you. When you hold a woman's gaze and show interest in her, or pay her compliments, you make her feel special and you feed her ego. Do it too much, however, and she loses interest and it's game over.
I've seen so many great looking guys and girls who are idolized from afar, but who continually have relationship problems and find themselves getting dumped or rejected, because they don't know how to keep the tension in the relationship, how to leave their lover wanting more, how to express the ability to walk away…or, in short, how to manipulate the minds of their girlfriend or boyfriend.
In fact, if you accept this understanding, good looks can be a curse because they allow more complacency. A good looking person may place too much value on their physical appeal and not enough on the importance of psychological attraction. They see themselves through the eyes of strangers, who place great value on their looks, and they think that’s all they need to keep a partner interested.
Even in long term relationships, you need to understand the psychology of attraction and maintaining your value in order for the relationship to survive. You can share the most incredible experiences, be totally loyal and loving to each other, and your girl might even claim you are the greatest thing to ever happen to her, and believe it 100%. However, this is not a constant! This is not her unwavering personality – it’s the way she feels at that particular moment while she has that particular perception of you. If you fail to maintain her interest or feelings, then you will see her personality change. Why? Because the psychology of your relationship has changed.
People often discuss what qualities attract women most…money, looks, confidence, game? They can’t make sense of hot girls who are in love with ugly guys, why women stick with abusive boyfriends (and vice versa) or why men and women sell out their dignity to chase their exes.
Neither men nor women can decide how they feel about someone and as it’s been said before “attraction is not a choice”. People often know a relationship is bad for them, they feel dissatisfied, have better options, have a list of reasons they should end it and move on…but rational thinking will always be trumped by emotional thinking.
Treating a woman badly constantly will probably drive her away, because there’s nothing in it for her. On the opposite end of the scale, if you put her on a pedestal and constantly feed her ego, she’s soon going to take it for granted and it will lose all meaning. They key is to give her a taste of what she wants, let her experience the highs of being with you, and then take it away, let her feel what it would be like never to experience that again. Just like a crack addict on a come down, she will start chasing her next high and associate you as the only person who can give that to her.
Talking to friends and acquaintances, looking on this forum, looking all over the internet, and I’ve experienced this so many times….you will see that there are a lot of guys who fall hard for unstable women. Some of these women are low quality b1tches, sometimes unattractive and hold no social value, but because they are unstable, they are unpredictable and exciting. They can be madly affectionate and needy one day, then cold and distant the next without explanation. It leaves us questioning ourselves, wondering why things have changed, wondering how to get it back and fvcking with our minds. Without even realising it, she is mastering the psychology of attraction, leaving you wanting more, creating tension.
I’ve seen a lot of people do this and I’m sure many of us have done it too. When our girlfriend turns cold on us or gives us some tension in our relationship, we get angry and announce that we’re done with her, we’re not going to take it any more and going to bang some other chicks…and yet inside we are craving her attention, we can’t think of any other girl except her and, in reality, we would turn down the hottest of women throwing themselves at us.
There is a lot of evidence to suggest that men and women are most likely to cheat on their partners (or keep their options open) when they’re at their most content and secure in their relationship. This is because attraction levels are low and they’re craving the emotional highs and lows that their relationship is failing to offer.
You will often see people making a big show of flirting with other guys/girls following an argument with their partner, or turn to someone else for attention, but this rarely has any intention behind it and is often done in retaliation.
This is the reason people can regain the interest of their ex with indifference or no contact. Women, especially, like to move on gradually. They feel like they need a safety net, someone to return to if their dating ventures don’t work out. If you’re texting her every day, guilt tripping her, shouting at her, ranting about her on Facebook or whatever, you’re indicating that you still care and that implies that you’re still available to her. However, if you remove yourself suddenly from her life, you make her decision seem final. It will hit her with more impact and your value will start to rise. It has nothing to do with you being more or less physically attractive, becoming a better person, wealthier or more sociable in this time…it’s about the psychological process going on in her own mind.
I can’t count how many times I’ve heard women moaning about an ex they dumped or seen them send texts or try to provoke a reaction from him. And the less reaction they get, the more they start to obsess over him.
In some cases, they will apologise to their ex and beg forgiveness. Is this because they realise they have been wrong and they feel bad about hurting their ex? No. Of course not! It’s because they have feelings for him again and they want him to take her back, or at least give her some attention again. Women will treat someone according to how they feel towards them.
Last edited:
