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A Shy Divorced Chick
- Thread starter lovejones
- Start date
i know one of those. Seems like she doesn't want to be hurt again. Taking it slow. The perplexing thing in my case is the woman also seems to be an attention w***e. So ya think your making headway but come to learn she does this with most guys. But again she only goes so far cuz she doesn't want to get hurt again.
If anyone has any advice I'm all ears too. I've tried being nice, c&f, ignoring, being a jerk...the whole enchilada...Its like a roller coaster - sometimes she's hot , sometimes she's cold...can't figure it out
If anyone has any advice I'm all ears too. I've tried being nice, c&f, ignoring, being a jerk...the whole enchilada...Its like a roller coaster - sometimes she's hot , sometimes she's cold...can't figure it out
I have experience with this. Patience and
understanding are the key here. First,
if she's shy (and not mentally ill), once she
feels comfortable with you she won't be
that shy anymore. She'll be shy with others but not with you - kind of nice in a way.
The rest depends alot on the nature of the marriage that she left. (And how long it
was) If she talks about it, I would listen carefully to assess what you have to deal with.
It's not as easy as dealing with an
unencumbered girl, but it can be really
rewarding if you like her alot and can
stick with it.
understanding are the key here. First,
if she's shy (and not mentally ill), once she
feels comfortable with you she won't be
that shy anymore. She'll be shy with others but not with you - kind of nice in a way.
The rest depends alot on the nature of the marriage that she left. (And how long it
was) If she talks about it, I would listen carefully to assess what you have to deal with.
It's not as easy as dealing with an
unencumbered girl, but it can be really
rewarding if you like her alot and can
stick with it.
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i've tried the patience and understanding routine. i've listened to her stories. i think i'm making headway. then (right in front of me) she'll get a phone call from someone (some guy - they come out of the woodwork) and i'll hear half the conversation. Basically just some guy making moves. And she basically says that she's enjoying being single for now. So I know she is trying to take it slow. However, based on these calls and meeting people (also witnessed) you can see the sharks starting to swarm around her. They smell blood. In for the kill. She's fended them off for now but it won't be long. Just hoping i am 1st in that line
Shyness is usually attributed to the opposite influences:
On one hand there's the society, telling her to be a good girl, on the other hand there's her libido, telling her to get ****ed.
Since both of them are fighting all the time, you get the usual symptoms like hesitation, fear of expression of the feelings, flakiness.
What I do is take away of the society. I invite her to my place, feed her, watch a movie, dance and then tell a story whick allows her to forget about her fears and kiss her tits. (note that the fears are individual, so play the shrink)
Once you licked the tits, the shyness disappears.
But I'm not an authority. This method has 50% ratio - 3 girls out of 6.
On one hand there's the society, telling her to be a good girl, on the other hand there's her libido, telling her to get ****ed.
Since both of them are fighting all the time, you get the usual symptoms like hesitation, fear of expression of the feelings, flakiness.
What I do is take away of the society. I invite her to my place, feed her, watch a movie, dance and then tell a story whick allows her to forget about her fears and kiss her tits. (note that the fears are individual, so play the shrink)
Once you licked the tits, the shyness disappears.
But I'm not an authority. This method has 50% ratio - 3 girls out of 6.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
i am a divorced chick
after a while , i did try to date.
this did not work out very well.
i now have fight or flight syndrome.
if it requires a real relationship, i run for the hills.
alot of my divorced chick friends are the same way.
we think we would like to meet a nice guy.
after a while , we dont want a nice guy.
we like lots of freedom.
we like variety just like guys do.
i have been known to prefer a hottie at a concert over a nice guy who wants to take me to dinner.
heck , i prefer to have dinner digested before i goout. haha
i actually dont plan to get married again.
it was ok the first time but hey you asked so i told you how i felt.
after a while , i did try to date.
this did not work out very well.
i now have fight or flight syndrome.
if it requires a real relationship, i run for the hills.
alot of my divorced chick friends are the same way.
we think we would like to meet a nice guy.
after a while , we dont want a nice guy.
we like lots of freedom.
we like variety just like guys do.
i have been known to prefer a hottie at a concert over a nice guy who wants to take me to dinner.
heck , i prefer to have dinner digested before i goout. haha
i actually dont plan to get married again.
it was ok the first time but hey you asked so i told you how i felt.
penkitten
Master Don Juan
ice cold..
i think that you know alot of divorced chicks.
i actually think that dinner , a movie, talking, and then the tit kissing is a date. others may disagreee.
i think that you will find alot of divorced chicks who would really dig this sort of date.
then there are some of us that get bored with these dates because they are nice but not all the time.
i would prefer to meetcha at some mosh pit, get real drunk and then let ya kiss me.
there are reasons i stay single lol.
hey do you know how to work a coffee pot? hehehe jk
i think that you know alot of divorced chicks.
i actually think that dinner , a movie, talking, and then the tit kissing is a date. others may disagreee.
i think that you will find alot of divorced chicks who would really dig this sort of date.
then there are some of us that get bored with these dates because they are nice but not all the time.
i would prefer to meetcha at some mosh pit, get real drunk and then let ya kiss me.
there are reasons i stay single lol.
hey do you know how to work a coffee pot? hehehe jk
I most definitely do
The key is to start slooooowly and let the little coffee pot heat up from the below. When you feel that the bottom of your teapot is gettin warmer, it is time turn up the heat a bit. This is when you touch the teapot, to see if it's ready. Your hand reaches the handle and feels the warmth and the heat of the boiling water.You feel the smooth, round surface of the handle and slide your hand up and down. You can feel your coffee pot getting hotter and hotter. It is hot and steaming. You take a spoon and you can feel it hitting the walls of the pot. You stir faster and faster, and the spoon is hitting the wall at exactly the right place. Soon, the coffee will be ready and you keep stroking and stroking the wall getting more and more excited. The excitement builds up and spills underneath the coffee pot.
Some of the coffee gets on your middle finger. You look at it and you see a drop of the tasty liquid hanging of your finger. You carefully bend over the finger and put it to your lips. When the finger touches the lips, you put your tongue out and lick off the tasty drop. You can feel the pleasurable taste in your mouth, you feel it coming down your throat. You want more. You want to get all the coffee from the finger, you take it in your mouth and lick every inch of it.....
penkitten
Master Don Juan
good ice cold i am glad you know how....
so if we ever go out and you follow me home,
make coffee on your way out
hahahah just teasing
so if we ever go out and you follow me home,
make coffee on your way out
hahahah just teasing
How would you like you coffee, mam?
I'm wondering - did you have any "state changes"? In other words - did it do anything? I mean I din't expect you to get all horny and feverishly mastrubate, but can you describe the effect (if any) it had on you.
I'm intrested if this stuff works on over the net...
I'm wondering - did you have any "state changes"? In other words - did it do anything? I mean I din't expect you to get all horny and feverishly mastrubate, but can you describe the effect (if any) it had on you.
I'm intrested if this stuff works on over the net...
PuertoRican_Lover
Banned
ice cold
your coffee-making instructions piqued my interest so i made coffee for the first time in my life - it didnt go as good as i thought it would after reading your instructions - damnn near burnt off my finger - i re-read your instructions and then it came to me that this was a flirtacious sexual innuendo - i feel so naive!!
your coffee-making instructions piqued my interest so i made coffee for the first time in my life - it didnt go as good as i thought it would after reading your instructions - damnn near burnt off my finger - i re-read your instructions and then it came to me that this was a flirtacious sexual innuendo - i feel so naive!!
I've read some of the recent responses and I stand with what I had said earlier. PenKitten at 26 obviously wasn't
married long and appears to be a player,
so I would take her comments with that
in mind. Remember what I said about
the "nature" of the previous marriage,
for example, if there was abuse, that
matters. I have seen what Ozzfest
describes - she momentarily gets interested in someone else. You have
to be strong to deal with a girl like
this, but as I said if you like her enough
and persevere the rewards can be great.
By strong I mean, patient, understanding,
but standing your ground when she
does something unacceptable (and she
will, believe me !)
married long and appears to be a player,
so I would take her comments with that
in mind. Remember what I said about
the "nature" of the previous marriage,
for example, if there was abuse, that
matters. I have seen what Ozzfest
describes - she momentarily gets interested in someone else. You have
to be strong to deal with a girl like
this, but as I said if you like her enough
and persevere the rewards can be great.
By strong I mean, patient, understanding,
but standing your ground when she
does something unacceptable (and she
will, believe me !)
Natureguy: its probably understandable that a freshly divorced woman wouldn't wanna jump into a LTR right after a divorce. I don't blame them for playing the field. See what their missing. If this is what you mean by something unacceptable...I understand.
does having a child alter her behavior at all? a small child? after all the ex is still involved in their lives, so she's not totally free
does having a child alter her behavior at all? a small child? after all the ex is still involved in their lives, so she's not totally free
Ozzfest: Yes, playing the field is
part of what I meant. I guess the rest
would be the common tests and things that one gets in any relationship. I was
trying to say that while being patient and understanding, you also have to
stand up for yourself and set limits (so
you don't become the AFC so frequently
mentioned around here).
Having a child definitely affects things because typically this is the woman's
first priority (from what I've seen). If you
like children, it can be a great thing though. It's HER child, but you can have a real positive effect on the child (and the
mother for that matter) and in effect get an instant "family" of sorts. More than one child might become stressfull I suppose, but I don't know about that.
part of what I meant. I guess the rest
would be the common tests and things that one gets in any relationship. I was
trying to say that while being patient and understanding, you also have to
stand up for yourself and set limits (so
you don't become the AFC so frequently
mentioned around here).
Having a child definitely affects things because typically this is the woman's
first priority (from what I've seen). If you
like children, it can be a great thing though. It's HER child, but you can have a real positive effect on the child (and the
mother for that matter) and in effect get an instant "family" of sorts. More than one child might become stressfull I suppose, but I don't know about that.