A serious question about "love", or whatever you want to call it

[LonesomeLoser]

I'm about to turn 35, never had a girlfriend, and there's been maybe a dozen or so females in my life who I was in love with, or who I felt something for that I called love. All of them in one way or another said "sorry I only like you as a friend".

All my life, I've wanted to be head-over-heels in love with a female, where I just daydream about her all day, never stop thinking about her, can't wait to be with her, just want to be around her, hold her cuddle with her and just knowing that she was in love with me and hearing her call me her boyfriend, that was much more important to me than having sex. And I'd want to know everything about her, because I found her so interesting and fascinating that I couldn't know enough about her.

Now after you guys stop throwing up your dinner like I'm sure you are from reading the above, if you could answer me a question: a guy with my attitude and what I expect concerning love and relationships, can he get what I described if he has a lot to offer (is interesting and fascinating himself, is good looking, in good shape, has a good job etc) and I've never had a girlfriend because I really don't have any of the above to offer? Or is any guy looking for what I described doomed to failure because women don't find a guy attractive who wants what I want, no matter how well-rounded he may be and how much he may have to bring to the table?

Or maybe is it because having the qualities of a well-rounded interesting guy, and wanting the kind of relationship like I described are not compatible? Meaning real men don't have desires like I do? I'm not coming on here to whine and complain like I have in the past, I'm asking a serious question here because I'm starting to rethink things. Thanks.

 

[reset]

I'm not reading anything from you until you change that horrible user-name.

 

[Columbia]

dude, work on the confidence. i mean you've just flagged your lack of self-respect to an entire forum of complete strangers with that username, do you honestly think you're not doing the same with girls in face to face conversation?

 

[woods]

Honestly, I would edit you post and delete the whole thing. You dont want to hear the replies you will get. Read a LOT more stuff on here, including the DJ bible, before you post again. For your own good.

And yes, there are guys who want that too, that get girls. The thing is, the more girls you get, the less you feel the need for that.

 

[spax]

You gotta start out as a cool ****y jackass who wants ***** then once u are in the relationship, u can be as luvvy as u like.

 

[woods]

You gotta start out as a cool ****y jackass who wants ***** then once u are in the relationship, u can be as luvvy as u like.

Not true. Girls dump, clingy lovey types, then find a jerk to bang them and treat them like crap.

 

[mintxx]

i badly need to punch you in the face

go to the gym
get a career
get some self esteem
read

 

[tick37]

You're a piece of work. You're watching too many love story movies and listening to too many love songs. You're unhappy, and it shows. You're looking for something you'll never ever have. No one has ever had what you're talking about. Not long term anyway.

You need to learn the human psyche. It doesn't work like you want it. Girls don't give their selves away to weak men. They don't stay with men that let them have them totally and easily. It's not attractive to be a stalker and sleep at a woman's doorstep hoping she will change her mind. Women do not want men that can be walked on. They want a man that is something to be had. They want love, but they don't want your selfish love.

See, your love is a selfish love. It's a love that says, "Hey, look at me". It says, "Why can you understand what a great guy I am?" and also says, "I don't care what you want because I can't hear you, but only can convey what I want".

Now what is healthy love? Well, it's when you want what's best for yourself without throwing it on someone else. Loving yourself when no one else does. Once you've convinced yourself that you are lovable and do love yourself, other people will, too. When you love yourself, you can live alone. You can live without someone that otherwise would have broken your heart. Women love a man that they know they can lose if they don't act right.

The love of yourself let's women be free to make their own choices. Usually they will choose you because they were free to do so and because you loved yourself first. You cannot have what you are wanting. If you have it, it will only be momentary, and you will be let down.

 

[splinterkb]

This thread mirrors the insecureties you have about yourself. I think you need to work on your self esteem.. it sounds like the underlying issue is you're lonely.. not just for a girlfriend but for someone to care about you in general. Do you have a solid group of friends?

 

[tick37]

Here's a rule to live by:

No man is free who cannot command himself. Above all things, love yourself. - Pythagoras

 

[swifTy]

hey man, someone will love you, its just a question of whom. find a girl who is in the same boat as you (never had a bf) and see how you go from there. once youve had a gf for a while you'll feel much better, and things will be a lot clearer for you. you'll understand how a relationship works.

i dont daydream about girls, but it is nice to have one around, and its nice to cuddle and all that so your perfectly fine having those desires. but you can't come across needy- and the bad part is- as youve never had a girl before you are going to come across as needy bc you are NEEDY. so you got to get that needy out of the way. pick a girl, any girl. just experience a relationsjip with someone, it will be eye opening for you. do all the lovey dovey stuff you want. get it all out of your system, and then see how things are from there.

 

[JackPrescott]

I'm about to turn 35, never had a girlfriend, and there's been maybe a dozen or so females in my life who I was in love with, or who I felt something for that I called love. All of them in one way or another said "sorry I only like you as a friend".

All my life, I've wanted to be head-over-heels in love with a female, where I just daydream about her all day, never stop thinking about her, can't wait to be with her, just want to be around her, hold her cuddle with her and just knowing that she was in love with me and hearing her call me her boyfriend, that was much more important to me than having sex. And I'd want to know everything about her, because I found her so interesting and fascinating that I couldn't know enough about her.

Now after you guys stop throwing up your dinner like I'm sure you are from reading the above, if you could answer me a question: a guy with my attitude and what I expect concerning love and relationships, can he get what I described if he has a lot to offer (is interesting and fascinating himself, is good looking, in good shape, has a good job etc) and I've never had a girlfriend because I really don't have any of the above to offer? Or is any guy looking for what I described doomed to failure because women don't find a guy attractive who wants what I want, no matter how well-rounded he may be and how much he may have to bring to the table?

Or maybe is it because having the qualities of a well-rounded interesting guy, and wanting the kind of relationship like I described are not compatible? Meaning real men don't have desires like I do? I'm not coming on here to whine and complain like I have in the past, I'm asking a serious question here because I'm starting to rethink things. Thanks.

Start dry shaving. Gain an edge, an attitude with women that all they are is sexx dolls, and you will soon have a girlfriend.

 

[demonic]

You know i have felt like this before, and you know what?...the moment i stopped caring and figured i'd use women for sex and self gratification i got loads more women.

you need to stop caring about getting a gf and that is the key to losing your desperation.
Even in my darkest hour with women i've never felt desperate...sad but not desperate.

Demonic

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Take all of the advice listed above. I would question dating a woman who's never had a boyfriend though, it could hold you back by not preparing you for dealing with the typical type of woman that will normally cross your path. Besides, there is a stigma about people of a certain age who have never dated; at least you've acknowledged that something is amiss (like that G*d-awful screen name).

 

[DonGorgon]

Love is... not.

 

[MooseGod]

You my friend need to spend a few days with your buddies drinking some beer and scratching your ass. Go kill a wild boar with your bare hands or something. Grow a beard and roundhouse kick somebody in the face. Get back in touch with your masculinity.

The only reason you feel this way right now is because you're inexperienced with women. With a little experience under your belt, hours of nagging, *****ing, whining, fighting, pregnancy and STD scares, and drama 24/7, you'll be glad to be single. Then you'll feel a right to be selective.

Also though, don't let these bitter resentful guys get you down. Falling in love is one of the greatest feelings in the world. I can't even begin to describe it. But that's at first. Any relationship is going to take a lot of work, and it doesn't end at sex or marriage. It's a daily struggle. But for some, it's worth it.

 

[Interceptor]

if you could answer me a question: a guy with my attitude and what I expect concerning love and relationships, can he get what I described if he has a lot to offer

In a word, no.

Women want you to be their Rock, to be their Lover, to be their Man. Be sexual, not take their sh*t, understand what mature love and romance really is, stay there and face her and be with her emotionally


The good women, whom do want Love, but are mature in theri perspective will not choose a guy with that kind of dreamy , immmature vision of relationships.


Your fantasy is there because its covering up a deeper issue you have.


No woman can make you 'right'

She cant save you

She cant make it all better


If you continue this way you will only meet failure and more unhappiness


Dude, youre in a dream world..


Youll never have a successful relationship with that mindset

What are you trying to hide from?

 

[Joe The Homophobe]

you are 35 and never had a gf. If I were in your situation I would spend some of my savings on a PUA workshop or something. You need help from a professional (pro pua)

or you could do what another person already suggested in this thread. Do the opposite of what you have been doing all your life. Start behaving like a cool jack***, behave like you own the place, treat girls as objects, be like the guys that are getting the hot babes even if it goes against your nice guy nature. Try that.

 

[randalll]

No woman can make you 'right'

She cant save you

She cant make it all better

i was reading the thread about music and movies changing a guys attitude (into believing the above)

i guess a lot of you have seen american pie..

Oz: "you just need to find the right girl Jimbo, it brings it all together."

seems to be something like that in every movie, even kickass action flicks.

WHY? i think its slowly changing guys

 

[Vice]

Look pal, you've made the first step into the world of pickup/Don Juandom.

You're already many steps ahead of most guys!

You sound like you're too serious, you need to lighten up and start joking around a little more. Humor relieves stress. Humor is also INTERESTING.