A second topic: Cold approaching

[Shivastorm_88]

It's not the action itself of cold approaching that causes me a problem, more the follow-up. For example, a typical approach I have:

Me: Hey there! How are you?
Her: Blabla
Me: I'll be honest with you, I noticed you when I got in the room and decided I wanted to meet you. What's your name?
Her: "X"
Me (pull out my hand): Nice to me you, X, I'm Nick.

Doing this part is very easy. The follow-up is harder though. Obviously if I have something that I can use to my advantage, it ain't that bad. For example, she's wearing a funky (or nice-looking) piece of clothing, I might continue the conversation toward this angle. However there isn't always a good excuse like that.

If you guys got nothing situational once you started the cold approach, how do you usually maintain the conversation? I was thinking, maybe something simple as asking "So, how was your day so far" and use some cues to spark a conversation...

Don't be shy, share your tricks!

 

[evan12]

same thing here
it depend of how much the girl is open , if she is open what ever you talk she will try to find a way to keep the conversation a live

 

[betheman]

"Me (pull out my hand): Nice to me you, X, I'm Nick."

that can be a conversation killer, you are almost forcing her to say "Hi Nick, nice to meet you too", your making her work a little too much.

Me (pull out my hand): Nice to meet you, X, I'm Nick, not many girls grab my attention the way you did.."

instant curiosity! if she is interested, there should follow a series of why is that? what is it that grabbed your attention? type of questions.
you will need to back this up though and depending on how confident you are, things can escalate quite quickly.
"well its the way you walked in I guess, something about the way you move" keep it vague, resist the ...well you have great t!ts type of cr@p, you will strike out!

 

[bigneil]

Her: Making strong eye contact.
Me: Holding eye contact.
Her: Smiling.
Me: "How are you?"
Her: "Fine, what's your name?" (extending her hand).

This is how every single approach should start. You can't just randomly walk up to them and startle them. If they haven't given you any buying signs, they are most likely not interested.

 

[Eternal_water]

Thats whats holding me back the actual opener isn't too hard but then what do you say to a total stranger after the greeting stage?

 

[Demonicale]

I think cold approaching should be what it is, why are you "planning" ... you should just say what feel's right and not have any scipt already thought out apart from "hey" .

 

[Eternal_water]

I think cold approaching should be what it is, why are you "planning" ... you should just say what feel's right and not have any scipt already thought out apart from "hey" .

Makes 1 hell of a short conversation, not too mention an awkward one.

Hey

hi,

well err see ya

 

[Demonicale]

Makes 1 hell of a short conversation, not too mention an awkward one.

Hey

hi,

well err see ya

I think you understood what i meant?...

I meant you need to be able to just speak your mind without the need for a script to follow lol.

 

[bigneil]

Thats whats holding me back the actual opener isn't too hard but then what do you say to a total stranger after the greeting stage?

You say as little as possible. Remember, 85% of communication is non-verbal. If she liked you enough to give buying signals and be receptive to your approach, she likes you enough to talk. Let her. It should be 70% listening, 20% encouraging her to talk about herself, and 10% answering questions (not volunteering info) about yourself, where you steer the conversation back to her.

 

[Eternal_water]

Hmm maybe I'm just unlucky, I just seem to find that any time I'm talking to a girl I have to think up every single bit of the conversation, I have to start every topic.

And thats what puts me off, cos its is a fair amount of pressure having to think of every single topic and thing to talk about and at the same time be the one who has to impress.

oh well, soldier on...

 

[Demonicale]

Hmm maybe I'm just unlucky, I just seem to find that any time I'm talking to a girl I have to think up every single bit of the conversation, I have to start every topic.

And thats what puts me off, cos its is a fair amount of pressure having to think of every single topic and thing to talk about and at the same time be the one who has to impress.

oh well, soldier on...

I think maybe you need to try and be abit more clam and relaxed when you approach,not easy i know.

Or do what i do, have fun with it!

Me:hey wow, you look great,speak to me
Herh hi

me:So great club, how about we dance this **** up? ...

Now you see what i did, i KNEW that sounded BAAAAD, but i did'nt care,and thus .. it comes across as being confident and less contrived.

I guess you have to do what works for you, but try not to pressure yourself too much.