A REAL QUESTION, by a REAL DON JUAN

[Mr. Cardio]

So check it out, I have been perfecting this don juan thing, and I believe that I am right now very back in touch with my attraction game. What works for me most is this laid back approach thing that I do....the problem is this, when I would do approaches in the past I would usually be full of energy and so on. Now its like women are always checking me out when I am just laid back and chillin. My question is, seeing that women are too chicken to approach a guy, how do I approach women without losing my cool? I mean, do you understand what I am saying. Its like when I am cool and laid back, women are very much attracted to me and I can tell it because they smile, kino ME, do their little hair movements, giggle like azzholes, etc., but I just keep cool and not really act like I am interested. Its not like I am playing or imitating anybody, but I just like being laid back. My question is, how do I approach or get a girl to leave the club, the campus, the whatever.....without losing my cool.....thanks fellows.

 

[KarmaSutra]

That's reminiscent of my grade school days when girls would say " My friend ,Blahblah, really likes you and wants you to put a check yes or no on this note if you'll go out with her please. She wants to be your girlfriend."

Brah, If you're laid back and chicks are diggin' the vibe, You don't sit there and admire them. You make a move.

Alas though a real Don Juan, such as yourself, would already know this . . .


Karma

 

[Mr. Cardio]

haha, but what I am askin is how do I make a move without losing my cool......I thought that was the question? I dont have a problem making moves, I do, its just that sometimes I can lose my cool a little, I am just looking for a little information.

 

[KarmaSutra]

I don't think I understand what you mean by "losing your cool" ?

Do you mean you want to hit them or something?

I kid I kid! Seriously though, You don't have any problems if they're scoping you out and throwin ya the gaze.

Clarify what you mean and we'll take it from there.


Karma

 

[Good_Vibes]

Just approach them with cool vibes are they won't change you mind about you. After the see chilling, and looking cool. They have already judged you, so it's not that hard.

 

[DJohnson]

Two Words - Situational Openers

 

[KarmaSutra]

Do you have examples of Situational Openers or just Marxist soliloquy?

Our guy is asking questions for help.



Karma

 

[S-lemond]

ur the dj pimp

 

[quest]

bro... sounds alot like you get girls by your looks. not by your skills..

you may have DJ mindset. as is; more girls = better chance of finding a good one (+ more fun).

Thats a start. but you have no idea how to approach. you're no DJ.

How to approach. -without losing your cool. (and i think by this you mean : without losing Hand)
Stroll up to target. Begin conversation. Situational is best.
Example Situation: I was at club, saw a cute girl ordering 2 beers.

Obvious opener : "Oh you got me a beer. Thanks."
Likely result : "no, ones for my friend." <pointing>

My opener : "You must be thirsty"
Her result : LOL"no, ones for my friend."<pointing>

Small difference. But that little difference sets the tone.

"Oh you got me a beer. Thanks" Comes off as canned. She knows that you know that you aren't getting the beer, but that you're just starting a conversation.

"You must be thirsty" Comes off as just a touch funny. Relevant to a guy or a girl, meaning that you're not showing your intent (Hand) straight off the bat.

Both leave you open for conversation.

To follow up you can have a conversation about;
What she normally drinks? ie; is it beer?
Her favourite beers?
Her friend?

etc.

 

[Brian20o2]

When I read this I remembred a guy talking about the "Come here" motion with the index finger. If they really are that interested they will come giggling like school girls. And it also means they stepped into your world which should help you keep your cool being that you don't have to move and/or move into their little world.

Of course thats only one thing you could do.

 

[locarius]

I get what he is saying.... its like, 'how does James Bond meet chicks if he is the cool uninterested guy'.

Well, he just rolls up on the chick with an extremely strong frame and says "I want to get to know you" or "come with me" or something very dominant. You have to have extreme confidence to make this approach work.

For example, last night I just approached a booth and said "slide over" to a girl and just sat down and started talking. My friends were like "that was ballsy..." I was like *shrug* If you tell someone to do something with enough confidence, they will do it.

 

[bannor]

It's not just about cool, it's about cool and confident. You can sit around the bar all night acting cool and you will go home alone without even so much as a conversation. The confident fellow is cool at the bar hanging out with his buddies smiling and when he make eye contact with a girl he wants to talk to he simply walks up and talks. try to picture your-self talking to another guy think of something funny to say. I stole this line from mystery and it get the convesation rolling "did you see those girls outside fighting over that little guy" It's funny and it works for those moments when you can't think of a good situational opening. By the way if you going to use that the humor is in the details. Don't then jump to asking questions. Make observations, and remember the goal is to demonstrate that you are the catch. Finnally set a timeline. Open build repore and then move on. "Hey look it has been fun talking with you, but it's my friends birthday, so I got to let you go, give me your number and we will continue this another time."

1. cool and confident, look like your having fun
2. approach confidently... of coarse she would be honored to talk to you
3. avoid the what do you do for work? where are you from? crap find inspiration in the suroundings, or create your own inspriation Does she feel as thought Teddy Brusci should come back to the Patriots.
4. Set a timeline as soon as you feel some repore is built end the conversation. Hey I might see you around the bar but I really need to get back to my friends. Give me your number so we can continue this at another time.

 

[Q-Pid]

Originally posted by KarmaSutra
Do you have examples of Situational Openers or just Marxist soliloquy?

Pseudo intelligentsia.

 

[NewMan]

Its like when I am cool and laid back, women are very much attracted to me and I can tell it because they smile, kino ME, do their little hair movements, giggle like azzholes, etc., but I just keep cool and not really act like I am interested.

OK - so your not acting like a kid in a candy store - which is all good. But, there comes a point where you have to ACT.

If you wait for the women to act - your 1) not being Alpha 2) letting her play the tune.

Now, just because you act interested in a girl, doesn't mean you can't do it in a way that comes off smooth and (to use your phrase) cool.

The situational opener example is a good way to slide up to the chick and start a conversation.

I like to have an "In". Somthing about them that is different - perhaps she's wearing unusual ear rings - or maybe some kind of hair band - shoes - whatever - but I'd slide in and ask her a question about it. I open with that, and then let the conversation evolve. You will know within 30 seconds if she's interested - or if your interested in continuing.

The cool part comes in after the approach. If she's not interested, then you just move the hell on - without a backward glance (unlike the chumps who would be still trying and eye balling her).

If you don't make the move you'll be jerking off later that night.

 

[wjh]

You don't sound like a real DJ...

 

[white_hype]

You remind me of my old self

I worked hard at become great in most aspects of life. I looked a lot better (clear skin, good tan, added A LOT of muscle, sweet clothes), was always doing something fun (partied a lot, good friends, cool events) and was really concerned with being "cool." Naturally I got a lot more IOI's but I felt I would "lose my cool" or come across as lame/trying to hard or lose my confidence if I got rejected b/c in my mind I was the Sh1t so I hesitated and didn't approach as much as I should have. Then I would make excuses like "last week i fvcked this 8, why would I want to talk to taht 7.5? she isn't hot enough" etc. Sound familiar?

Trust me when I say this MOST girls don't have a high self esteem. It's like in sales, assume that you are the sh1t and if she doesn't think so then something is wrong with her! This is like leading a person. Most like to be led and don't like to decide for themselves, so if you have 100% faith that you are cool no matter what than she will most likely agree with you. But remember, since they usually dont have high self esteem they will be more worried about what you think of them. Especially younger/less experienced girls. Most of the time they are faking confidence. (I've hooked up with a lot of hb 7.5+'s and only like 2-3 had really high confidence, the rest were insecure about most things).

So if a girl is giving you IOI's you should approach IMO if you want to become a better PUA b/c the only way to get better is to go out there and do it.

If a girl gives me a lot of EC but won't approach I usually just go over there and say something like
"what? are you giving me the silent treatment?"
or
ARE YOU SHY? Are you guys shy? I’ve been standing here talking to my friend for like 5 minutes now and you still haven’t said ‘hi”.

if a girl is giving clear IOI's it doesn't really matter what you say, you can just say "hi" and she will jump through hoops trying to proove how you should like her (qualify her) and if you are a loof/act if youre not sure about her at the beginning she will be all over you when you make your "real" move

 

[Royal Elite]

First off you might want to clearly define "your" definition of "cool". From the looks of it I don't think you have the "cool" thing down "ever"

The real question you are asking is how can I stop shaking like a leaf everytime I approach a sweet, little 95 pound women so I can show her how manly I am?

I say you start by doing some push-ups, run a couple of miles. AFter that go in your house clean up thoroughly until you come across you manhold which must have fell off while you were sleeping, go into the bathroom reattach them, then notice how that nice level of bass is now in your voice again and I believe your problems with approaching women will be solved.

 

[white_hype]

Originally posted by Royal Elite
First off you might want to clearly define "your" definition of "cool". From the looks of it I don't think you have the "cool" thing down "ever"

The real question you are asking is how can I stop shaking like a leaf everytime I approach a sweet, little 95 pound women so I can show her how manly I am?

I say you start by doing some push-ups, run a couple of miles. AFter that go in your house clean up thoroughly until you come across you manhold which must have fell off while you were sleeping, go into the bathroom reattach them, then notice how that nice level of bass is now in your voice again and I believe your problems with approaching women will be solved.

this didn't help with me. For some people it's a lot more complicated (in their minds even though in reality its not). "Just suck it up and do it" did not work with me

 

[Royal Elite]

Originally posted by white_hype
this didn't help with me. For some people it's a lot more complicated (in their minds even though in reality its not). "Just suck it up and do it" did not work with me

Sooo let me get this striaght 'stop acting like a chump" didn't work for you so thereby you believe it is impossible for someone else to grow a set and act like they are on the right owner.

Sorry to hear you have lost all hope in confidence in yourself but we can not give up on all those others who have ball s and dont know how to use them!

 

[white_hype]

Originally posted by Royal Elite
Sooo let me get this striaght 'stop acting like a chump" didn't work for you so thereby you believe it is impossible for someone else to grow a set and act like they are on the right owner.

Sorry to hear you have lost all hope in confidence in yourself but we can not give up on all those others who have ball s and dont know how to use them!

don't assume things. Man how old are you? you think people these days know not to assume anything anymore but someone like you comes along and shatters the mold

I did not say it wouldn't work for him, I said for "some people it doesn't work," and that includED me. See the -ED there? that means the past. RIght now I do TONS of approaches everyday and get a lot of good results. Of course back then I knew to "just do it" (i'm talking about day game cold approaches in hard sets, ie- 3 girls 2 guys during the middle of the day, not easy sets like 1 lone girl in bar when you are drunk), just saying "do it" doesn't always work. Either your knowledge on the subject is very limited or you just don't get it b/c just saying "do it" is MUCH easier than actually fvcking doing it

don't you think most people realise that they should just "do it" and suck it up? helll, it is a nike fvcking slogan