A rant about Don Juanism

[Donjuanpablo]

A rant about Don Juanism

A few recent posts on this forum and a few events that have occurred in my life recently have caused me to step back and take a good, wider look at the world and what opportunities I have out there. The last two years have gone by like a flash for me, and here I am at the end of my second year of uni facing the possibility of failing my course. The future does certainly look uncertain for me at this stage of my life, and with my father’s condition with a terminal illness decreasing, I’m staring at a lot more responsibility in the near future.

It hasn’t been that bad though. My confidence has soared to new heights of recent as has my success with women, my band has written some awesome new songs that look set to take us quite a distance and I’m having a blast going out with my buddies. It just seems as if I’m being torn between these two states and I’ve tried to step back and look at the world with a bit more perspective and I’ve come to some realisations, realisations that will hopefully make me stronger in the future, long term and short. Nonetheless, I have a lot to thank this board for. Without it I would never have been able to believe I could achieve what I’m gradually starting to achieve and I would never have been able to become so aware of the world around me. I found this board a year ago and it has truly changed my life.

However, I’ve got to the stage where it seems the world of don juanism is starting to become such an overwhelming force. I’m beginning to hate thinking about it, almost caught in time warp or bubble, watching as others live their lives while I sit back analyzing. There are too many people caught up in the world of the dj on this forum and I believe it is not a healthy state to be in. Countless posts try to deem what a dj is and what or who an afc is. It is easy to get roped into world in which only djs and afcs exist and I think that is a reason why so many newbies post advice. They learn the essence of what a dj is and therefore can answer any post with simple mathematices, is it dj or is it afc. It gets to the stage where the mental effort that goes into thinking about women and don juansim takes over thinking about life etc. I know, I’ve been there, and its a dangerous way to live. People get roped in to dedicating a life to a forum with people in which they have no proof exist. The amount of time and effort that goes into this forum begins to take away from the essence of what it is actually is, life.

So my question is, Is this life? Is don juan a life, an attitude, a technique, all, neither? To some it may be just a bunch of theories rolled up into one name, and to others it may be there entire life. For me, I’m starting to believe that it is outline, almost a guide to life, and thats where it should end. Think about all the successful djs that people are constantly bringing up. Do you think they spent their life thinking, this is dj that’s afc, "hey everyone I’m a dj"? I think they were thinking more about their life and what they wanted to achieve. I think personally I’ve become at times stuck in a timewarp thinking about things like being a dj when I should be thinking about my life.

So is this a signing off from the forum? At this stage I’m not sure because I find it quite entertaining reading some posts especially in the anything else forum. What I do know is that it is time to live a bit more and to stop analyzing. Over thinking and overanalyzing is one of the worst things you can do with your life because you spend your time thinking while others spend their time living. No more going out thinking "I’ve gotta pick up, use my dj techinques, etc." but rather, "I’m going to go out and enjoy my life" because at the end of the day I could know everything in the world about seduction and less happy than the guy next to me who knows next to nothing about it but is having a blast. Thats not to say I’m isolating the Ssers on this forum because I know many of them get great enjoyment out fulfillment from it. I personally am sick of thinking about it and want to start thinking about the other stuff in my life, or else I could wake up one morning with my whole life behind me and just a bunch of theories to show for it.

DJP

 

[alboh]

Originally posted by Donjuanpablo:
There are too many people caught up in the world of the dj on this forum and I believe it is not a healthy state to be in. Countless posts try to deem what a dj is and what or who an afc is. It is easy to get roped into world in which only djs and afcs exist and I think that is a reason why so many newbies post advice. They learn the essence of what a dj is and therefore can answer any post with simple mathematices, is it dj or is it afc. It gets to the stage where the mental effort that goes into thinking about women and don juansim takes over thinking about life etc. I know, I’ve been there, and its a dangerous way to live. People get roped in to dedicating a life to a forum with people in which they have no proof exist. The amount of time and effort that goes into this forum begins to take away from the essence of what it is actually is, life.

This realization has been slowly creeping up the back of my mind ever since I started frequenting this forum, but I hadn't been able to put it into words yet. You're absolutely right. The idea of having a uniform system that any guy can strap on and turn into a ladies' man is appealing but impossible.

The DJ Bible is ultimately there for us to use as a tool to rid ourselves of our major faults that stand in the way of success with women, but I believe it was designed not so much as a set of rules but as a tool to inspire confidence and give us all a kick in the a$$ and force us to get out there and become better versions of ourselves.

I think this should be added on to the end of the DJ Bible.

[This message has been edited by alboh (edited 12-01-2002).]

 

[radiodude]

Good post's guys. Yes, I've been thinking alot more about this as well. I've also come to the conclusion that being 'naturaly' masculine is the way to go. The most important part of this site are the CONCEPTS, rather than the formulas and intricate details.

 

[Ricardo]

You can read books about anything, investing, management, etc. But really doing the things the books say is the HARD PART.

I think we all tend to overanalyze. It can drive you crazy.

Let's get out there and do it!

 

[destini]

Low self esteem and lack of confidence drives guys to "don juanism".

what is it? It's retardation. It's laziness. It's superficiality. It's shallowness.

It doesn't build your confidence. It'll never build it because it is, by its very nature, flawed. And it certainly doesn't help you one whit about understanding FEMALE.

The catch 22 is this when it comes to SS and "don juanism".


You know nada about women.
You are petrified of women.
You want a woman.
You have no real idea WHY you do so you erroneously presume it's because you're horny, you're a guy and guys chase p*ssy.
You listen to other guys on "how to" get women.
You fail to recognize guys have no clue how to get women.
You get advice smouldering in superficialities, inaccuracies, illusion and fraud.
You begin to buy into the mentality that women are just blow up dolls put here for your taking.
You presume women are so brain dead they can be manipulated and subliminally seduced.
Your guy friends show you many ways to subliminally seduce women.
You have no power over women to begin with, yet fail to recognize the reality of this by the very fact you have to resport to games, hypnosis, subliminal nonsense.
You present the SS don juanism to one another on the pretense that it gives you power over women.
You nevertheless fail to recognize that one has no power when one is forced to resport to "hypnosis" to get laid.
You want a women.
You have no idea how to get one.
You fear women.


It's sad. I'd suggest leaving the "jedi mind tricks" to George Lucas and spending more time growing up, doing some soul searching to find out WHY it is you're so scared of women that you feel you have to resort to head games and fairy tales and basically BS nonsense in order to maintain the delusion of being superior to the one thing you fear the most.

If your egos weren't so inflated by the BB of SS in the first place, you'd see this for what it is.

You just don't want to do the real work. You want the short cut. You don't wanna dance.

In a nutshell...when it comes to the realities of women...to coin a phrase...

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH.

So, you simply avoid it.

 

[destini]

resOrt resOrt resOrt.

typos sold seperately.

 

[studmuffin15]

i think the most that u can take from these boards is confidence. once u start to believe in yourself, develop some interests and life passions, clean up ur appearance (some tips on colognes, dress, etc.), and a mentality that u r ur greatest possession, i think u have graduated.

i dont agree with alot of the methods on this site, but i do agree with their underlying tenet -- dont allow urself to be playe -- first be a girl, but on a larger level, by anyone else in life. tips and rules and shyt like that are only for very short-sighted people. and as this is an internet board, i also question many of the successes and personal attributes that individuals boast about themselves.

dont get hung up on the specifics. if u have developed the finer points that i mentioned above, ur learning here on this site is done. live ur life the way it will make u happy -- dont fuss over being a "dj". the definition of dj is different for all of us!

 

[bamboozledguy]

i think the most that u can take from these boards is confidence. once u start to believe in yourself, develop some interests and life passions, clean up ur appearance (some tips on colognes, dress, etc.), and a mentality that u r ur greatest possession, i think u have graduated.

I aggree with studmuffin on those points, but I havent graduated yet. I have afc tendencys that I wouldnt have relised that I had until I came to this fourm.

 

[Don *SUPERFLY* Juan]

Don Juanism!

First of all any man has the ability to get a female, but can he keep one.Thats the promplem most of these guys have.So this site provides the schooling and training for these guys to master their own God given ability,i read the tips and articles they give you alot of it can inhance your skill of the game.

Destini,"whatz wrong of getting that man in you out".We all know that it takes time but one day your goin to naturally become a dj that has alot of experince,so this site is like the pimp daddy that we all miss from our lives the one who is goin to teach has the game.

 

[studmuffin15]

superfly:

good point. i left the point out about "keeping" a girl. nice call.

 

[Donjuanpablo]

Thanks for the replies.

Originally posted by destini:
Low self esteem and lack of confidence drives guys to "don juanism".

what is it? It's retardation. It's laziness. It's superficiality. It's shallowness.

It doesn't build your confidence. It'll never build it because it is, by its very nature, flawed. And it certainly doesn't help you one whit about understanding FEMALE.

YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH.

So, you simply avoid it.

Destini, if you actually read my post instead of just skimming through the intro, which I suspect you did, you would find that I am actually not having problems with seduction. In fact Im quite happy at where my game is at and even though I haven't found a great ltr yet, this site has done wonders for me and many others.

Make no mistake. The advice on this site is very good and from my observations, about one in two of the regular posters here make a decent transition in their success with women.

The problem that lies is that there is total thought dedication to becoming a "dj" when I should be thinking about other things in life. I suspect that many people on this forum get caught up in trying to become a dj when they dont actually know what it is.

What is a dj?

That is what Im trying to figure out, but I hate the sense that I'm living the life of a don juan when I should just be living my life. I don't like approaching women thinking I have to "dj" them (the common advice a newbie gives after a week of being here). And no, I'm not trying to "be myself" either because self improvement is one of the most satisfying parts of life.

 

[RDtoo]

Pook's recent post, "the secret of the jerk", is a very sobering look at what a real DJ is. I would advise reading it in the Tips forum.

Alot of guys came here because they were tired of being burned by women. Because they watched some woman that they wanted go prancing off with some @sshole. We came here because out of loneliness and frustration we said "what do I have to do to get a woman??" So we turned to the internet and found this site. We then thought that hey, this site will not only help me get a woman, it will help me get multiple women and possibly any woman that I want. The fact is, that no matter how many "tricks" we learn, no matter how confident we become, it would be asking too much of this website to change us inside and out. Only life itself does that. As much as the info here has helped me, I still hold out my AFC hope that I will meet a woman who is smart enough to see through all the crap and like me for the person I am. I have learned alot here, and have learned what I have done wrong in past situations, and am thankful for the new knowledge. I plan to keep improving myself. I also believe that there are good women out there, who would write me off as a player if I used some of this stuff on. I want one of those good women.

My advise? Spend as much time with your dad as you possibly can if he is terminally ill. Even if he is not. No matter what you miss out on socially in doing so, you will never regret it. Both of my parents have passed away and I can tell you there is no lonelier feeling in the world. They can be a pain when they are here, but it is a much greater pain when they are not.

 

[Donjuanpablo]

Thanks for the replies guys.

Originally posted by RDtoo:
Pook's recent post, "the secret of the jerk", is a very sobering look at what a real DJ is. I would advise reading it in the Tips forum.

Actually, that is one of the posts that has got me thinking recently as it called me out on the whole "dj" thing.

Originally posted by RDtoo:
My advise? Spend as much time with your dad as you possibly can if he is terminally ill. Even if he is not. No matter what you miss out on socially in doing so, you will never regret it. Both of my parents have passed away and I can tell you there is no lonelier feeling in the world. They can be a pain when they are here, but it is a much greater pain when they are not.

Yeah, thanks for that, it really does put a lot into perspective when sh1t happens like that, and I am trying to spend alot more time with both my parents because of it.

 

[PrinceCharming]

DJP,

I think you've summed up quite nicely the point of life that I'm on. Recently I have been working on this girl, and only a few days ago I realized that I've been thinking about the whole thing way too much. I realized I've been wasting my time wrestling with ideas about how to "get" her.

It's all useless. I know a guy who is a total romantic, overly nice, and what most people here would consider an AFC. And yet he is not frustrated, and neither is he a chump. He gets girls regularly, and has no problem with being friends with them. He is focused on his studies, on his career, and his hobbies, while girls come in in second place in his priority list.

I know it's fun DJ-ing an playing around with girls. Yet we all fail to realize one very important fact. Life is more important than girls could ever be. If I could find a girl who has the same goal in life that I do, forget the other similarities, I could even consider marrying her.

But if I focus on having fun now, going out, DJ-ing and overdoing it all, I may just wake up 10 years later broke in the street, and homeless, or stuck in a career that I hate with no possibility to get out. Screw techniques and all that BS.

Guys who get girls on a regular basis, never learned any system for getting them Mostly they have the attitude by nature, and they completely mean the things they say. While the DJs here, learn what to say in order to get the girl, the natural says the same thing because he REALLY means it!!!

If he says he's busy, he REALLy is. He has a focus in life, and it ain't women. If he challenges her, it 's not because he thought about it, it's because things worked out that way!! Now the last thing I want to do, is focus on learning what he does naturally, so I can do it by thinking about it and hopefully I will become a natural like him. People who everanalyze like that, end up like David DeAngelo, analyzing situations for a living, which is a perfectly good way of living.

With my rant finished, I am not leaving this forum yet, but will focus on my goals in life more.

 

[stuartSan]

Anything Else.

 

[Daneelo S]

Fantastic Post everyone should read it!