There is this girl at my office whom I am attracted to and have a gut feeling she feels the same about me. Im just not 100% sure. She works in a different department and I mostly see her when I go to the mail room to get my mail. When I pass by I notice that although she always says hello she never really looks into my eyes but rather just looks down midlevel to my body. She also seems to just look at my mouth or chest area but never directly into my eyes. The other day as I was waiting for the elevator she called me to take a ride on one of the other elevators that was going down. We were alone and I started some small talk to establish rapport. But again she barely looked into my eyes and avoided eye contact. The other day as I was walking towards my car I caught her walking behind me. She walked by and said hello but kept on walking. Also, one time I was chatting with some of her coworkers and as she stood next to me I caught her staring at my mouth as I was talking. Weird but I dont know what to make of this chick who is pretty hot. PS- She doesnt seem to be the outgoing type and appears to be shy.
A Question On Eye Contact
- Thread starter gaspipe
- Start date
You either have an annoying hair that is sticking out and she feels the urge to tug at it or she fancies you.
When a female tends to stare at your mouth, it is a good sign. Almost like she is imagining kissing you. She seems the shy type so it will be you that has to make the first move.
When a female tends to stare at your mouth, it is a good sign. Almost like she is imagining kissing you. She seems the shy type so it will be you that has to make the first move.
she actually really shy
if she initiate convo or even just a 'hey' she is in some kind maybe a little bit attracted
and she's not looking into your eyes because she is SHY think of it like that
if sh's not 'attracted' to you she have no reason to be shy and look somewhere else than your eyes
now you maybe gonna say but maybe she's just shy ... but no she say 'hey' she's actually looking at you (body/mouth) but not into your eyes
if she initiate convo or even just a 'hey' she is in some kind maybe a little bit attracted
and she's not looking into your eyes because she is SHY think of it like that
if sh's not 'attracted' to you she have no reason to be shy and look somewhere else than your eyes
now you maybe gonna say but maybe she's just shy ... but no she say 'hey' she's actually looking at you (body/mouth) but not into your eyes
you make generalization ... it's like body language when you say when someone do that so that's mean this ....bigneil said:
but sometimes it's ain't like that !
it's like when i'm talking to someone and then i see him cross his arms ... so you can say yes he is defensive ... but again maybe he's thinking about something else while talking to you and you can't know that
sometime the person is too shy so she's not holding eye contact ... let's say mostly of the time it's what you said ... but some times there's just exceptions
Tell her a little about yourself, but not too much. Maintain some mystery. Give her something to think about and wonder about when she's at home.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
thevilittletroll
Senior Don Juan
i think she is just shy. see if you can bait her into giving you IOI's. you can also try to compliance tests to see if you can get her to invest. use them the same way you would use an opener in a bar pickup situation.
ex: i need your opinion on something...next week is my best friend's girlfriend's birthday and he's having trouble picking out a gift for her. i told him to buy her a nice cashmere sweater, but he doesnt know what her size is. would you rather it be too small or too big?
heres your bait question. now that you are talking about clothes you ask for her advice on fashion. what do you think would look good on me? shoes, colors, jeans, ties, whatever. if you like her answer you can ask if she'd like to join you and help you pick something out.
compliance tests can be verbal or using kino. i like to use both. since you work together i'll give you one thats "work" appropriate.
tell her you just read a book on palm reading and found it really interesting. "let me see your hand." as you stick out your hand palm facing up, see if she complies. if she gives you her hand palm facing up...boom! IOI
verbal would be something like a role play...think of this, we've been bf & gf for a couple of months now and we are having a dinner party for your friends and my friends, what are we going to cook for them?
kind of has the same concept as asking open ended questions. let me know what you think.
ex: i need your opinion on something...next week is my best friend's girlfriend's birthday and he's having trouble picking out a gift for her. i told him to buy her a nice cashmere sweater, but he doesnt know what her size is. would you rather it be too small or too big?
heres your bait question. now that you are talking about clothes you ask for her advice on fashion. what do you think would look good on me? shoes, colors, jeans, ties, whatever. if you like her answer you can ask if she'd like to join you and help you pick something out.
compliance tests can be verbal or using kino. i like to use both. since you work together i'll give you one thats "work" appropriate.
tell her you just read a book on palm reading and found it really interesting. "let me see your hand." as you stick out your hand palm facing up, see if she complies. if she gives you her hand palm facing up...boom! IOI
verbal would be something like a role play...think of this, we've been bf & gf for a couple of months now and we are having a dinner party for your friends and my friends, what are we going to cook for them?
kind of has the same concept as asking open ended questions. let me know what you think.
Iceberg
Master Don Juan
Well, there's only one way to find out the situation: stop reading signs and just talk to her. Get her laughing, make some friendly chat, and ask her to hang out for post-work drinks.
The answer will be yes or no. Then you can stop wondering what her deal is.
The answer will be yes or no. Then you can stop wondering what her deal is.
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
Exactly. Stop the speculations and act. Get down to the facts.
You have a high probability of success, because it is true that when a woman keeps looking at your mouth it is virtually always because she wonders what it would be like to kiss you. Her other behavior is consistent with shyness. Go for it. You have nothing to lose whatsoever. Let us know.
You have a high probability of success, because it is true that when a woman keeps looking at your mouth it is virtually always because she wonders what it would be like to kiss you. Her other behavior is consistent with shyness. Go for it. You have nothing to lose whatsoever. Let us know.
Thanks for the advice but I think i will just engage her when we are alone again, i,e in the elevator, and start a conversation and just play it off from there. Last time we talked she was responding positively to my questions, i,e :How have youve been lately?" her: Ive been doing well. And you how have youve been? I think the best barometer of a girls interest short of asking her out is engaging in conversation and seeing if she follows up with her own questions. If a girl does not or gives you very short answers then with no followup, she most likely is not interested. Even shy girls in my experience will engage in conversation if they like a guy.thevilittletroll said:
Atom Smasher
Master Don Juan
"Hey, I'm doing such-and-such this weekend. Why don't you come on out with me?"
You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.
One point no one seems to have raised so far - be careful about dating people at the place where you work. No reason you shouldn't but I believe you have to be a little more cautious. For obvious reasons. If it doesn't work out, or she says no, or whatever, you want to keep the air clear and relaxed between you.
Also - the fact that she said hello to you first. That's a good sign in my experience. Go for it man. We fully expect you to report back about how good she is in bed in approximately 1 week!
Also - the fact that she said hello to you first. That's a good sign in my experience. Go for it man. We fully expect you to report back about how good she is in bed in approximately 1 week!
sexysuave
Senior Don Juan
I don’t think it’s said enough in this particular thread. The advice on how to proceed and try to score has been great. However, I want to add that there is one circumstance in which I would ignore all of this advice:
Is this job what you consider your CAREER? In other words, if this is one of those QUALITY jobs that you went to school for and “I really wanna do this for a living” type of jobs, and you want to excel and get promoted and all that good stuff, I would honestly stay away from pursuing that girl! There is TOO much against you if things go wrong and something doesn’t work out and you might even get a reputation and what not. I’m talking about this because let’s just say I have “seen something like this” happen.
If this is just any job that you can go and find anywhere and you’re not all that concerned about it, then by all means proceed and try to screw every chick there. Lol. But if this is what you “wanna do with your life”, I would honestly not risk it by getting involved with someone there. Chances are you guys are just eventually gonna break up (or worse, get married!). You really want to be with someone 24/7 all day every day every year every decade. Etc. etc. etc. I mean it’s enough that you see them every day, but you’re going to work with them too? That probably puts more strain on things.
So if you’re NOT gonna get married and are only gonna date her, it’s totally fine if this is just ANY JOB. But if this is your career, just realize that you’ve been studying all your life to train your self to do this job and hopefully you want to excel and get promoted as far as you can possibly go. (being excited about your job and career and excelling there also makes you more ‘alpha” and gives you more self-respect and confidence and value simply by being great and achieving your goals).
If you do date her and break up with her, there MAY or MAY NOT be consequences. Realize that girls are emotional and will lie at times to other people for their own benefit. Ok ok, I’ll come out with it, I had an HR chick that was right out of college that actually pursued ME at work! She is the first one that initiated conversation, started e-mailing me, calling me, etc. etc. etc.!! (I did ****y funny with her, and demonstrated higher value, she was brand new and EVERYONE would go always and try to talk to her and this and that and after she was introduced to me I would just say my “hi” to her if we walked into each other but when she was around and saw me interacting with others everything screamed “high value”. I’m also in a management position so that didn’t hurt things either, and I carry my self very confidently. So here I was, probably the only dude around who was not too much older than her that really wasn’t putting her on a pedestal. Even when she “accidentally” e-mailed me, I gave her crap for it) I even specifically asked her “if we hang out, I don’t want anyone knowing” WELLLLLL I learned the hard way that she actually RAN her mouth to EVERYONE and was pretty much bragging around how she’s talking to me and this and that and how me and her are “hanging out”. To make matters worse, one of her HR coworkers (who though I had a girl at the time (she met and liked my ex lol), but I was actually broken up with my ex) thought that it was inappropriate of me to be seeing her while I had a gf. Well that HR coworker of this chick went to MY MANAGER and told her that it would probably be best if I “backed off” (I never purused, it was all her). To make matters MORE worse, my manager NEVER told me this, so she went to my managers boss (the DIRECTOR) and told him the same thing and he had a “talk with my manager” to “talk to me” and he STILL DIDN”T TELL ME. It freaking slipped out when we had a company golf tournament and we all got drunk and me and him were talking at one point and he said something about her and I made another comment and he was like “well yeah, of course YOU would know”. And I was like “huh? What are you talking about” and he said “oh nothing” and then finally he was like “well everyone knows you were banging her” I’m like “huhhhh?????” and then he told me the whole story and I was like “why in the world did you NOT tell me this when it happened??” and he was like “because I could care less if you fvck her or not, as long as you’re not doing her at work” and I’m like “well obviously everyone else cared!! I think it took some time for the other HR lady and my director to finally move past it, as I did notice them acting different towards me. Thankfully the HR chick in question is no longer in our site, as a matter of fact they moved her thousands of miles away to a different location (thank you God!!) lol.. So just one horror story how things can go bad at work.
Is this job what you consider your CAREER? In other words, if this is one of those QUALITY jobs that you went to school for and “I really wanna do this for a living” type of jobs, and you want to excel and get promoted and all that good stuff, I would honestly stay away from pursuing that girl! There is TOO much against you if things go wrong and something doesn’t work out and you might even get a reputation and what not. I’m talking about this because let’s just say I have “seen something like this” happen.
If this is just any job that you can go and find anywhere and you’re not all that concerned about it, then by all means proceed and try to screw every chick there. Lol. But if this is what you “wanna do with your life”, I would honestly not risk it by getting involved with someone there. Chances are you guys are just eventually gonna break up (or worse, get married!). You really want to be with someone 24/7 all day every day every year every decade. Etc. etc. etc. I mean it’s enough that you see them every day, but you’re going to work with them too? That probably puts more strain on things.
So if you’re NOT gonna get married and are only gonna date her, it’s totally fine if this is just ANY JOB. But if this is your career, just realize that you’ve been studying all your life to train your self to do this job and hopefully you want to excel and get promoted as far as you can possibly go. (being excited about your job and career and excelling there also makes you more ‘alpha” and gives you more self-respect and confidence and value simply by being great and achieving your goals).
If you do date her and break up with her, there MAY or MAY NOT be consequences. Realize that girls are emotional and will lie at times to other people for their own benefit. Ok ok, I’ll come out with it, I had an HR chick that was right out of college that actually pursued ME at work! She is the first one that initiated conversation, started e-mailing me, calling me, etc. etc. etc.!! (I did ****y funny with her, and demonstrated higher value, she was brand new and EVERYONE would go always and try to talk to her and this and that and after she was introduced to me I would just say my “hi” to her if we walked into each other but when she was around and saw me interacting with others everything screamed “high value”. I’m also in a management position so that didn’t hurt things either, and I carry my self very confidently. So here I was, probably the only dude around who was not too much older than her that really wasn’t putting her on a pedestal. Even when she “accidentally” e-mailed me, I gave her crap for it) I even specifically asked her “if we hang out, I don’t want anyone knowing” WELLLLLL I learned the hard way that she actually RAN her mouth to EVERYONE and was pretty much bragging around how she’s talking to me and this and that and how me and her are “hanging out”. To make matters worse, one of her HR coworkers (who though I had a girl at the time (she met and liked my ex lol), but I was actually broken up with my ex) thought that it was inappropriate of me to be seeing her while I had a gf. Well that HR coworker of this chick went to MY MANAGER and told her that it would probably be best if I “backed off” (I never purused, it was all her). To make matters MORE worse, my manager NEVER told me this, so she went to my managers boss (the DIRECTOR) and told him the same thing and he had a “talk with my manager” to “talk to me” and he STILL DIDN”T TELL ME. It freaking slipped out when we had a company golf tournament and we all got drunk and me and him were talking at one point and he said something about her and I made another comment and he was like “well yeah, of course YOU would know”. And I was like “huh? What are you talking about” and he said “oh nothing” and then finally he was like “well everyone knows you were banging her” I’m like “huhhhh?????” and then he told me the whole story and I was like “why in the world did you NOT tell me this when it happened??” and he was like “because I could care less if you fvck her or not, as long as you’re not doing her at work” and I’m like “well obviously everyone else cared!! I think it took some time for the other HR lady and my director to finally move past it, as I did notice them acting different towards me. Thankfully the HR chick in question is no longer in our site, as a matter of fact they moved her thousands of miles away to a different location (thank you God!!) lol.. So just one horror story how things can go bad at work.