A piece of you is missing.....

[NewMan]

Ever felt like this?

You get out of an LTR - and you feel like a piece of you, of who you are is gone with that other person, never to come back again.

It seems like it's so easy for some people to just fall for a woman (or man) - and then dump them, move on to another woman(or man) and fall for them just as hard....

It's difficult for me to do - I just feel like when I love someone - with that woman goes a little piece of me.... I feel a litle more vunerable, a little weaker.

 

[squirrels]

True. But it's not missing...you just got lazy.

 

[Walldorf]

Hi Newman,

I guess I know what you mean, have experienced this a few times.

I have given this some thought in the past. There is a theory, that one falls hardest for a person who has traits which oneself does not have, but would like to have (at least on a subconscious level, or existing as a shadow in the sense of Jung). So in being togehter with the other person one feels complete, since one has integrated (at least sort of) those traits oneself is missing. In examining why I was attracted to someone I was able to spot a lot of my own faults and work on them.

It seems like it's so easy for some people to just fall for a woman (or man) - and then dump them, move on to another woman(or man) and fall for them just as hard....

I am not sure if those people really fall for another woman (or man). In some cases it maybe co-dependency, but I guess you are not talking about this here, since co dependent people usually do not dump, but get dumped and find somebody else within a week...

I guess it is normal or at least reasonable to keep the emotions under control at the beginning of an LTR (or better to say intended LTR) and then to open up bit by bit, since a good LTR is also about mutual growth, which can only happen when both show their true self, which includes the emotional side. As JustDOitAlways had put it: A woman will only love you as much as she trusts you. Having that in mind I guess it is kind of inevitable to feel more vulnerable after the break up, becuase of the "exposure" to the other person. If this would not be the case I guess the LTR was not meaningfull...

 

[Reto]

I agree with Waldorf...

I'm not a huge risk taker. But, I always seem to hook up with women that are... when I am hooked up, I take more risks than I do when not... Once I'm out of a situation, I'm back to my old self...

Two different people compliment each other...

 

[Mr. Delicious]

fly me away to the bright side of the moon and meet me on the other side. oooooooooo dream weaver i believe you can get me through the night

 

[NewMan]

very well put Waldorf...

I think thats exactly it.

when the other person had the exact traits you want - or do not have. That's when you compliment each other the most.

It's difficult to walk away - to forget and move on. Sometimes I think it might be easier to remain single - but of corse, nothing ventured, nothing gained.

 

[Trogdawg]

You really don't lose a piece of yourself when you break off an LTR. What happens is that you got so use to being with that person that you forget what it's like being without. It's like they became part of your normal...a requirment that has to be there for you to be happy. After a few weeks of keeping busy you'll stop and go "holy crap I totally forgot about her for the whole day." Then you'll know your over her.

I've broken out of LTR's before. If your not the one ready for it to be over the first step is to admit it's done. FOR GOOD. Then get busy, after a few weeks you'll have gotten used to being independent...and you'll like it.

 

[Slickster]

Newman,

Just finished writing a lengthy reply to your other thread.

I gotta say after reading this post I really feel for you man. I've asked myself that exact same question many times. How can she just walk away and move on so easily when I'm so hurt?

Many years ago an LTR (5 yrs) of mine ended. It was her decision and I was devastated. I was moping around for a whole year. I was speaking to a friend of mine and whining about how I still had feelings for her. His reply was, "Man, she doesn't want you in her life anymore. What are you going to do?"

It was a tough pill to swallow but he was right. That ex and I have become friends but it was true she wanted me out of her so to speak.

That simple piece of advice has helped me get over many break ups since.

You're hurting right now buddy. Where are you? Let's go get drunk tonight I'll cheer you up.

 

[NewMan]

Yeah I'm going to get very drunk tonight.

I'm in good ole LA.

It's actually not that bad.

I had a nice young 25 yr old last night.... I was up until 4AM.

I read somewhere here that screw 10 chicks and you'll get over her.

Well this was the 10th - and I must say, it hasn't worked


I could actually handle it if she wante dme out of her life - it would be easier - but this going back and f'ing forth is just one big roller coaster.

I was talking to my room mate last night - giving him some advice on how to deal with this flaky chick he's been off and on with....

After I sat there and wondered why the fvck is it so easy to see other peoples problems/solutions - but I can't see past my own nose when it comes to my own life.

Prime time pvssy really fvcks you up.