Taciturnity
Don Juan
I was reading about DreamyChick’s problem and found how similar it is to one I’m facing. Our situations are similar like this: there is a person (in my case a female) who I’ve known for years, is connected through family, and there would be a major blow-up if anything happened between her and I.
Before you say “dude, just ask her on a date” let me hit you with the specifics here:
Our two families are friends; we’ve exchanged family x-mass presents for years, birthday presents, spent dinners together and whatnot.
Now about this girl I’m taking about: I’ve known her since she was a baby, played games with her when she was a child, and I know for a fact when she was younger that she had a huge crush on me.
This crush went so far as to make her cry when she was teased about me “finding out” she liked me – as though it wasn’t obvious enough that she did. When she was younger she would do things like come over to me and just plop down on my lap, or whisper in my ear “I farted" or just wouldn't stop touching me, etc..
After the crying thing I gave her a stuffed animal to try to make her feel better about the whole thing, at the time I remembered how difficult it is at that age and felt sorry for her. She’s kept it and it now sits next to her computer all the time.
Well, she’s older now and getting… uh… “ripe” if you know what I mean. (FYI: Yes if anything did happen it would be legal.) Here’s my main problem right now: I’m not sure if she still has a thing for me.
Here is a typical encounter between us:
When I come around to visit her family (like tonight when I dropped of some stuff) she will say hi to me but NOT LOOK AT ME. I mean not look at me at all, like tonight I held and entire conversation with her but she wouldn’t look at me. She would either look at the TV or look down.
Well that’s not exactly true; she did look at me once when I asked if a wealthy family she knew wanted a new son. I wanted to see her reaction to my joke so I stared at her, she did look up and smile but looked right back down again. She also smiled when I asked if she ever wore a necklace I gave her for her last birthday.
Normally I’d say the girl wanted to have nothing to do with me if it weren’t for what happened next. Like I said this is typical of what happens: as soon as the physical barrier is broken between us she becomes giggly and jumpy and acts like she expects me to chase her.
On this particular night I asked to see the new camera she got, so she went and got it out of her bag and just held it up and said “here it is” from across the room and went to put it away. Now, I had wanted to see it up close so I got up and intercepted her in the hall at which time she did the giggling “he’s gonna chase me” thing. A little chasing and wrestling did happen and she was giggly and jumpy the whole night after that.
If she is being shy, she was never shy like this before. The whole ‘not looking at me’ thing is new, maybe a year old.
As for the family politics (the part that doesn’t make it so easy to just ask her on a date), well I’ll jump off that bridge when I come to it; in the mean time I’d like advice on the above.
Before you say “dude, just ask her on a date” let me hit you with the specifics here:
Our two families are friends; we’ve exchanged family x-mass presents for years, birthday presents, spent dinners together and whatnot.
Now about this girl I’m taking about: I’ve known her since she was a baby, played games with her when she was a child, and I know for a fact when she was younger that she had a huge crush on me.
This crush went so far as to make her cry when she was teased about me “finding out” she liked me – as though it wasn’t obvious enough that she did. When she was younger she would do things like come over to me and just plop down on my lap, or whisper in my ear “I farted" or just wouldn't stop touching me, etc..
After the crying thing I gave her a stuffed animal to try to make her feel better about the whole thing, at the time I remembered how difficult it is at that age and felt sorry for her. She’s kept it and it now sits next to her computer all the time.
Well, she’s older now and getting… uh… “ripe” if you know what I mean. (FYI: Yes if anything did happen it would be legal.) Here’s my main problem right now: I’m not sure if she still has a thing for me.
Here is a typical encounter between us:
When I come around to visit her family (like tonight when I dropped of some stuff) she will say hi to me but NOT LOOK AT ME. I mean not look at me at all, like tonight I held and entire conversation with her but she wouldn’t look at me. She would either look at the TV or look down.
Well that’s not exactly true; she did look at me once when I asked if a wealthy family she knew wanted a new son. I wanted to see her reaction to my joke so I stared at her, she did look up and smile but looked right back down again. She also smiled when I asked if she ever wore a necklace I gave her for her last birthday.
Normally I’d say the girl wanted to have nothing to do with me if it weren’t for what happened next. Like I said this is typical of what happens: as soon as the physical barrier is broken between us she becomes giggly and jumpy and acts like she expects me to chase her.
On this particular night I asked to see the new camera she got, so she went and got it out of her bag and just held it up and said “here it is” from across the room and went to put it away. Now, I had wanted to see it up close so I got up and intercepted her in the hall at which time she did the giggling “he’s gonna chase me” thing. A little chasing and wrestling did happen and she was giggly and jumpy the whole night after that.
If she is being shy, she was never shy like this before. The whole ‘not looking at me’ thing is new, maybe a year old.
As for the family politics (the part that doesn’t make it so easy to just ask her on a date), well I’ll jump off that bridge when I come to it; in the mean time I’d like advice on the above.
