A moral dilemna - is cheating always wrong?

[Rescue Mission]

That sums it up. I have lost quite a few girls because I refused to commit,

That's your mistake.

Girls don't play with morals these days and neither should you.

Girls go out of their way to have sex ONLY if the guy is "her boyfriend", as most do not want to look slutty (another shameful word created by bitter feminists).

That is the part where you step in and tell them what they want to hear, to get what you want (so that they don't run away). Pretend to commit, and continue to see other women.

Tried and proven for years by myself personally.

 

[Bluntmaster]

That's your mistake.

Girls don't play with morals these days and neither should you.

Girls go out of their way to have sex ONLY if the guy is "her boyfriend", as most do not want to look slutty (another shameful word created by bitter feminists).

That is the part where you step in and tell them what they want to hear, to get what you want (so that they don't run away). Pretend to commit, and continue to see other women.

Tried and proven for years by myself personally.

You mean years when you were Skip, not now though cuz you are married.

 

[Rescue Mission]

You mean years when you were Skip, not now though cuz you are married.

??

Who are you weirdo? You sound more and more like a freak every time you pointlessly quote any of my responses.....leave me alone already you bi-polar freak

 

[SexyMofo]

That's your mistake.

Girls don't play with morals these days and neither should you.

Girls go out of their way to have sex ONLY if the guy is "her boyfriend", as most do not want to look slutty (another shameful word created by bitter feminists).

That is the part where you step in and tell them what they want to hear, to get what you want (so that they don't run away). Pretend to commit, and continue to see other women.

Tried and proven for years by myself personally.

Thank you!

In patriarchal times, women were moral because they had to be.

Look at what they do now. There can only be honor between men, never with a woman. They have no concept of honor.

 

[Reyaj]

First of all I wanna say thank you to everybody that contributed to this post. Your different points of view really forced me to look at my actions and analyze my mindset way more in-depth that I had done until now.

It's true SamSpade, my logic is fvcked up. Because, after all, a relationship is all about trust, and when you cheat you break that trust, w/er the other person knows it or not.

Rollo, I really respect your advice, so thanks for tuning in to this thread. Now let me ask you this question: what happens when you find out a quality girl, one that you don't wanna let go, but you're still not sure you wanna commit. Let me make this even more complex: after spending some quality time together with your girl (almost a year), living together with her, seeing her every day, etc you have to move for whatever reason. You know that you could not live together with her for at least a year but maybe more. And the most likely solution to re-unite would be a marriage. This looks like the worst trap one could find himself in, right? Everybody's gonna say "drop her, spin plates, life your life, etc...", right?

At this point you're probably thinking "this guy is the biggest AFC, he just lucked out with a really hot chick who also happens to be cool as hell, and now he's too afraid to let go." But this could not be farther from the truth. I came into this relationship from an abundance mindset. I was dating multiple women for a good 2 years. Kept finding new plates as the old ones were catching feelings and were trying to corner me into a relationship. I never caved in. I met some nice girls, but it didn't matter to me. It's just that I never felt this kind of connection that I have with my gf with any person before. It was like pure electricity flowing through the air from the moment we met.

I know for a fact that if I break up with my girl today, I will be drowning in pvssy by the end of the week. I am not afraid that if I let her go I'll be without a girl (heck, it's been almost 2 months since last time I saw her anyway). The thing is, even though sometimes I get horny (like the episode that prompted me to start this thread), I don't wanna exchange my girl for a million other girls who could be hotter, smarter, funnier but for whom i have NO FEELINGS.

And yet I can't promise that next time a gorgeous HB makes a pass at me I won't nail her...

I am in the same boat as you. The answer is you seperate the physical from the emotional and cheat......

Rescue Mission is so correct. If you aren't married and you have occasional hook-ups its totally fine.

 

[mrrippey]

Morals are all based on what you beleive in and how you sleep at night. I know many that have second lives and are happier than pigs in ****. I know faith married men that hate their lives.

Do what makes you happiest and live (and die) with that decision.

 

[Slickster]

If you choose to cheat then next time you catch a woman acting like a sneaky, kniving, cheating, devious little b!tch please keep your whining to yourself. You are no better than the fvck ups on the Jerry Springer show.

With all the woman hating negativity that goes on around here I would think that most guys would strive to be better than that. Isn't that what this place is about? Apparently not. No wonder so many guys here do not respect women. You don't even respect yourselves!

What does it say about you if getting some pvssy is more important than doing the right thing? No wonder you are having woman troubles. You've placed pvssy itself on a pedestal.

Womanize away but if you have to lie and cheat to do so you really are taking the low road.

Good luck

 

[Zarky]

Define your own morality.

 

[drak_ool]

I am in the same boat as you. The answer is you seperate the physical from the emotional and cheat......

This has always been my view on cheating. Gotta separate the emotional from the physical. And this is why cheating is different for men and for women.

A guy will most likely fvck a really hot girl based on how horny he is at the time. You guys can flame away, but when you spend about a week with your girl every 2 months or so, there are moments when you get really horny. And the chances of her finding out? very small

A girl will most likely fvck a man she is really attracted to, which automatically also involves an emotional element. Some girls (the real slvts) will do it just on a physical level, but hopefully your gf is better quality than the frat house whor.

The way I view it is: if you get emotionally attached to another girl while being in a relationship, then just break up with your gf, obviously she doesn't mean THAT MUCH to you if they are other girls out there for who you are catching feelings. If you just fvck a girl because she is hot, don't see her again, never pursue her again, etc... you're fine. It might not be the moral thing to do (i understand that now) but like someone else said, at the end of the day what do you get for living a moral life? the knowledge that you are a "good" person? I gave in to the dark side too long ago to worry about that now...

 

[Warrior74]

That's your mistake.

Girls don't play with morals these days and neither should you.

Some do, some don't. I know about the amoral animal that is mankind.

Girls go out of their way to have sex ONLY if the guy is "her boyfriend", as most do not want to look slutty (another shameful word created by bitter feminists).

LOLWUT? You are kidding right?

That is the part where you step in and tell them what they want to hear, to get what you want (so that they don't run away). Pretend to commit, and continue to see other women.

Tried and proven for years by myself personally.[/QUOTE]

Yah I know that works, just not for me. I know I'll met more women. And most of those who blow out...we still hook up every now and then.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Every decision you make can have potential consequences of your actions.

Putting morality aside, think of cheating from a biological perspective. If you cheat, and get another woman pregnant. Well, now from a provider sense, you've taken resources away from your gf/wife, and now must share those resources with another woman...the woman you got pregnant. Your relationship will most likely fall apart....and rightly so, any quality woman would not settle for that.

Similarly, if your gf/wife cheats, and she gets pregnant from another man. Well, you are put in a position of having to provide and raise another man's child. Hence, your relationship 'should' fall apart from this. You should not settle for raising another man's child.

Really, the if a tree falls in the forest, and nobody is around, does it make a sound? That argument fails in so many ways.

All actions in life, can have potential consequences. Sex and cheating, can biologically, have some very serious consequences.

 

[Mojogoat]

"Clinics say 30 percent of tested men are not the biological father of their children"

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/metro/2009-09/23/content_8723991.htm

According to this one study, it seems that a statistically significant amount of guys already are providing for and raising another man's child..and they don't even know!

Looks like no-one's informed human nature about morality yet.

 

[drak_ool]

If you cheat, and get another woman pregnant.

Mr Positive, let's not get carried away here. While your argument is logical, it's not really suited to the 21st century, or at least to my situation. I've only had sex with 2 other girls since being with my girl and I used condoms with both, of course. So the risk of pregnancy is low here...

Mojogoat, I don't know about exact statistics here in the US, but what I find really fvcked up is how THE LAW IS STACKED AGAINST MEN when it comes to extra-marital affairs that result in pregnancy. Like Mr. Positive has pointed out above, if you father a child outside of your relationship and the woman claims you are the dad, DNA testing will be done and you will have to provide for the kids' future (which makes sense).

But if your wife cheats and gets pregnant, you are equally as fvcked! If you sign the birth certificate while legally married, you will have no legal remedy to deny paternity later down the road when you find out the truth. You are legally barred from using DNA evidence, witnesses, etc... At which point the hor can divorce you and go on living with the real father, but you will still have to pay for child support even though it's not your kid!

the legal system in this country sometimes makes me puke...

 

[Alle_Gory]

"Clinics say 30 percent of tested men are not the biological father of their children"

http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/metro/2009-09/23/content_8723991.htm

According to this one study, it seems that a statistically significant amount of guys already are providing for and raising another man's child..and they don't even know!

Headline could also read: 30% of men suspicious of their spouse's unfaithfulness turn out to be right.

3,000 people in China is not statistically significant. It's a drop in the bucket.

Looks like no-one's informed human nature about morality yet.

Morality is part of human nature... or the struggle for morality.

 

[Mr.Positive]

Mr Positive, let's not get carried away here. While your argument is logical, it's not really suited to the 21st century, or at least to my situation. I've only had sex with 2 other girls since being with my girl and I used condoms with both, of course. So the risk of pregnancy is low here......

It's just something to think about, and you have to ask yourself, is it worth it?

Condoms break, there's STD's that condoms do not protect you from...some women are so f-ed up they poke holes in condoms (bring your own), or sneak in the bathroom with the used one.

My point is this, if I'm in a monogomous relationship, and my gal cheated...I'd drop her and look for a replacement. Call it a high standard of mine, maybe. Therefore, I am a man of my word and would never cheat on a woman.

Trying to justify a double standard is what women do, not men.

 

[jafyk]

You believe morality is subjective. So then what is the point of this thread?

Are you trying to get some emotional reassurance from others to alleviate your guilt from cheating on your gf?

Lol, Trade give it to him. To the OP I ask if you had child and someone was secretly abusing them and you didn't know about it does that make it right? Like Trader said what's the point of this thread if you've decided you call the shots on what's right and wrong? Seems to me you are here looking to validate your personal belief system "that it's ok to cheat on your significant other as long as she has no clue". The double standard men and women adopt to suit their selfishness is really sad. If I do understand this forum well your line of thinking isn't the DJ way.

 

[jafyk]

Of course cheating is wrong. Just like lying and stealing. That's why they call it cheating.

The question I ask to all those who feel it's okay to cheat:

If you wish to screw more than one woman at the same time then why waste your time with a relationship?

If you have the opportunity to cheat that means you have multiple women interested in you. You are golden. Why bother with the gf. It doesn't make sense! You don't have to settle for just two. Go for 3 or 4 even. That way you can get laid anytime you want with no worries about your gf finding out. It is very liberating.

What benefit can possibly come from cheating? Your answer can't be more sex because hanging on to the gf is holding you back from all the sex you could ever want.

You either have to be too lazy to deal with the effort required to date and sex multiple women. Or you are too insecure to leave your gf out of fear that your other prospects dry up. So that means you are lying with the potential to cause someone you care about a great deal of pain just because you are too insecure and/or lazy. You can paint it anyway you like but cheating is wrong.

One thing that I've learned about cheating is that over time it is myself that eventually gets hurt by my cheating. It's like tiny little daggers slowly chipping away at your soul. One day you look at yourself in the mirror and lose respect. When your gf finds out about your cheating she'll eventually get over it. You have to carry it around forever.

I really like this response. I think if a guy really cares about his relationship and yet cheats. Whether the girl friend knows or not "the guy" will know and in some indirect way it will end up tearing them apart. The hurt may show up and she may not know that it's exactly because of the cheating sometime down the line. Like I always say "Sometimes when you win, you actually lose"

 

[Reyaj]

Seriously the more I read some of these responses, the more my theory is validated that you all really have no game.

The OP has been getting laid for years... Unlike a lot of you he has real experience.

The response about your child getting abused is just absurd. A terrible analogy........

I'm sorry but we don't live in a "perfect" world and double standards do exist.... You can rebel against it and frustrate yourself or you can accept it and be happy...

Is cheating on your significant other right???? No...

Is lying right???? Does nobody here lie?????

My point is Men and Women are very different. This is both biologically, physically, and emotionally. If a man cheats on his girlfriend from time to time but does the right thing by keeping his relationship in tact... then by historical standards this is just NORMAL!!!!

I'm sorry I'm just so fed up with all the keyboard jockeys on here that love to attack people who actually have opportunities to score..... Just because you don't know what its like doesn't make you a moral authority to put them down....

In summary...... cheating is probably wrong but its normal for a man... just like lying.... Just make sure you have control of yourself, your life, and try not to hurt anyone....

I guarantee you that most of you who are saying its wrong to do would end up doing it yourself if you were ever in that situation...... Fortunately for you, that is unlikely so you can continue to feed your own egos by posting your morality views on a discussion forum

 

[JonSirG]

RESPECT IS ALL

if your respect the action you do its ok

just ask: would I respect another guy doing this?
if yes

do it

 

[Mr.Positive]

In summary...... cheating is probably wrong but its normal for a man... just like lying.... Just make sure you have control of yourself, your life, and try not to hurt anyone....

It's not normal for men, men should have strength. If you cheat, and know it's wrong....you lack strength, strength of conviction to doing what you 'feel' is right.

The point was already brought up, why even get into a relationship if you want to have sex with a bunch of gals? Don't commit to any of them. Problem solved.

Yes, lying is wrong too...so don't lie. Be a man of your word, and you will gain respect from those around you.

Oh, and if you go through life lying and cheating on people, you WILL hurt someone...eventually. Good luck with that.