A millions questions about BPDs

[BlueAlpha1]

The issue isn't having to trust others, it's learning to trust yourself and your own gut instinct. I guarantee that when you met your ex something about her just felt 'off' but you couldn't put your finger on it. Rather than bolting for the door you stuck around to see what she was about. She most likely not only made you feel like 'a' Man but made you feel like 'The' Man.
You were drugged up to the eyeballs on the good stuff to keep you around and stop you from questioning the bad stuff. You were addicted in some sense to her and it's this addiction that is ultimately what you have had to break.

The thought that some other guy is getting a taste of that sweet sweet nectar resounds in your head like an Enya song going round and round in your brain. It's painful but you just can't block that **** out! Any other guy will be getting no different to what you got. If anything he may be getting it twice as bad as these broads seem to just get worse with age. She selects her prey carefully. It takes time and energy for her to select the right host for her to feed off and these chicks are notoriously lazy. You did the right thing by staying away as any recycle attempt is almost inevitable. They need to feed on you without killing you. Once they whittle you down to the last 5% they move onto another host and come back when he is on his last 5% and you have somewhat 'recovered'.

You are doing just fine!

Why am I so damn weak that 18 months later I still anticipate her eventually tipping her hand just so I can slam the door in her face? I wouldn't care if she said two words. Any words. It'd mean that she lost and that after a long wait, I got the last word.

I hate that she just left and at age 35 with mountains of baggage probably fell onto the **** of another dude with no effort, and I, a dude in my 20s with no baggage and a lot to offer has to struggle to talk to a woman because I just don't trust them anymore. She had a dozen orbiters at any given time when we were together.

I hope one day if I just keep working hard there will be a twist of fate. After all, this hoe is 8 years older than me. She was a smoking hot 29 y/o and I was a 21 y/o kid who didn't stand a chance. But that was in 2010. And now iIt won't be long before she's 40 fvcking years old and I'll be 32. And if you believe in DMV graphs the bell graphs will have changed dramatically..

This woman changed everything. I still dream of her a few times a month and hate myself for it.

 

[usernamedox11]

Why am I so damn weak that 18 months later I still anticipate her eventually tipping her hand just so I can slam the door in her face? I wouldn't care if she said two words. Any words. It'd mean that she lost and that after a long wait, I got the last word.

I hate that she just left and at age 35 with mountains of baggage probably fell onto the **** of another dude with no effort, and I, a dude in my 20s with no baggage and a lot to offer has to struggle to talk to a woman because I just don't trust them anymore. She had a dozen orbiters at any given time when we were together.

I hope one day if I just keep working hard there will be a twist of fate. After all, this hoe is 8 years older than me. She was a smoking hot 29 y/o and I was a 21 y/o kid who didn't stand a chance. But that was in 2010. And now iIt won't be long before she's 40 fvcking years old and I'll be 32. And if you believe in DMV graphs the bell graphs will have changed dramatically..

This woman changed everything. I still dream of her a few times a month and hate myself for it.

What the hell? You're tripping over who texted the person last? Seriously? Easier said than done but move on, start meditating.

 

[wolf]

Why am I so damn weak that 18 months later I still anticipate her eventually tipping her hand just so I can slam the door in her face? I wouldn't care if she said two words. Any words. It'd mean that she lost and that after a long wait, I got the last word.

I hate that she just left and at age 35 with mountains of baggage probably fell onto the **** of another dude with no effort, and I, a dude in my 20s with no baggage and a lot to offer has to struggle to talk to a woman because I just don't trust them anymore. She had a dozen orbiters at any given time when we were together.

I hope one day if I just keep working hard there will be a twist of fate. After all, this hoe is 8 years older than me. She was a smoking hot 29 y/o and I was a 21 y/o kid who didn't stand a chance. But that was in 2010. And now iIt won't be long before she's 40 fvcking years old and I'll be 32. And if you believe in DMV graphs the bell graphs will have changed dramatically..

This woman changed everything. I still dream of her a few times a month and hate myself for it.

You probably have your own issues with abandonment.

I left my bpd ex (if you can call her that) 18 months ago. I jumped the gun and dropped her because my own fear of abandonment was triggered. I blocked her number after she dropped me a text saying how confused she was. Never looked back since. She stalked me for a while and i caught on to the fact that she had a new car but only after i kept seeing this same damn car everywhere.. at my work, near my house etc. One day i stared her down as she was driving toward me and i stopped seeing her new car everywhere.

They can level out once they hit 40 but then they become a new kind of crazy. They don't have their looks to rely on any more and they can't get away with slutting it up in bars any more either so they take on this new persona of seemingly caring for everyone new around them but then sticking knives in them when their back is turned.

You dodged a bullet!

Forget about this chick and keep moving forward.

 

[BlueAlpha1]

What the hell? You're tripping over who texted the person last? Seriously? Easier said than done but move on, start meditating.

Just move on is some great advice. Next you'll be making a living as a life coach telling people to quit their jobs and follow their dreams and the money will follow.

You've never met a BPD, much less dated one for 5 years. You don't belong in this thread homie.

 

[usernamedox11]

Just move on is some great advice. Next you'll be making a living as a life coach telling people to quit their jobs and follow their dreams and the money will follow.

You've never met a BPD, much less dated one for 5 years. You don't belong in this thread homie.

Dated two BPDs and had interactions with many BPDs that claimed to have been molested/raped thanks to me and online dating. My last BPD GF was what most guys would call an 8 to 10, and had guys hitting on her left and right. And she always tried to throw it in my face but I would piss her off and tell her I hope they run a train on her. Check the thread I made today.

My last BPD girl, I knew she was BPD, and I went into it knowing she was BPD, and I still came out with a few scratches, but nothing too bad at all. I was way more sad and distraught about losing my pet.

BPDs are broken, disgusting people that you shouldn't take seriously.

 

[Infern0]

It does cause me issues. I have severe trust and commitment issues, even outside of relationships now. We try to achieve status just to impress others, but when we have a wall up and dont let others get too close, even chasing money or luxuries seem futile. I look at your average western woman with total contempt now. Since she left 18 months ago, I have only been able to be myself and have a good time with a couple foreign women in my travels. I don't know have to take this rigid edge off man, and the thoughts that she moved on and is doing better than me are reoccurring even in dreams...

You have to let go of that last blue pill stuff.

Never try to impress others.

You do things for YOU not for anyone else.

Women are for having fun with, they are supposed to be somewhat disposable, you have fun with them and if they act up you drop them like a bad habit.

If you have this attitude they probably won't act up.

Women only play mind games or can get away with them when they figure you NEED them. That's what you have to get rid of, that need

When you can take or leave them that's when they actually won't play up on you because they are A) more attracted to you and B) know you'll just bounce off laughing at their stupidity.

Keep yourself in check and they will follow.

Let yourself be beta and needy and they treat you like a chump.

 

[sazc]

@BlueAlpha1 sometimes people cant put themselves into *your* shoes enough to send some solid advice, and sometimes it is that easy for people to just 'get over it'.

I hate that you are still struggling with this 18 months later - because that means you've missed some part of that 18 months of living.

I agree with @Infern0 and @wolf - start focusing on building you. Anytime she creeps into your head force yourself to affirm some part of you, and keep affirming until she's gone and you believe what you are saying about you. Set some real goals and focus on those. Gym, school, new language, etc. What do you aspire to? Make that happen. And do what @wolf says and trust your intuition. When it whispers 'danger here' believe it and exit. Good luck

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

In bold

Thank you, you are the only person to directly answer my questions. I have 2 more questions though: can men develop BPD as well? If not usually, then what do men develop instead?

 

[wolf]

Thank you, you are the only person to directly answer my questions. I have 2 more questions though: can men develop BPD as well? If not usually, then what do men develop instead?

Most Men in Prison in the UK have BPD. I think it's around 75% diagnosed.

Many men tend to be diagnosed as Antisocial rather than Borderline.

 

[sazc]

@BlueAlpha1 Try to understand that these people tend to have NO CLUE that they are doing what they are doing. They dont realize they are ill, the dont realize they behave in an abnormal manner. It's all they know. She wasnt trying to fvck you specifically, you simply fell into an unfortunate situation.

Could it be possible that you were just so young and immature, when it came to relationships, you didnt have good boundaries, good self esteem and a well-defined set of behaviors you would/would not accept from a female? The situation you went thru can be a blessing in disguse. If you reflect on the sum total of her behavior, it can help you learn how to spot abnormal behavior so you run quicker next time, and also can help you figure out what type of woman you are looking for. Use this to grow