SeldomSeen
Senior Don Juan
Originally Posted by Style:
It's been a little while since you've heard from me. That's because I've been deep undercover in a new book. But I came up for air this week, and wanted to thank you all for the emails and photos. I also wanted to share a thought:
In the last month, something really strange has happened. The material in The Game has started seeping into pop culture.
An episode of CSI: Miami last month focused on a group of pickup artists led by a character named "Magician." These pickup artists used things like the lint opener, terms like "negs" and "sets," and lines and routines straight from The Game. When a pickup artist was murdered, a suspect who'd been setting up a rival pickup business was the chief suspect. There was even a journalist undercover in the community. It was eerie to watch because it was so close to what I'd written - except for the murder and the forensics and the journalist being female (and having a large zit on her forehead).
Meanwhile, on the WB, an episode of Sara Gilbert's show Twins revolved around a former nerd from her high school who had written a book on picking up women. He had distilled it all to a few simple rules, all taken straight from The Game (approach at an angle, demonstrate active disinterest, etc).
A lot of people saw these shows and said I should sue. Instead, I decided to write to my VIP list about it, because the shows brought up some interesting issues about the book and the mainstream response to it.
On CSI Miami, the underlying message at the end was that these pickup artists were evil people exploiting women.
On Twins, the underlying message was that nerds should stick to their own kind and not try to date out of their league.
What horrible messages - and neither of them true.
Before The Game was released, I promised myself that I wouldn't try to defend the seduction community. I'd simply tell the truth about my experiences, and people could draw their own conclusions.
However, as I did interview after interview where reporters erroneously tried to paint the community in a negative light as evil men learning how to trick and hurt women, I realized that I was going to have to defend something: And that is guys' right to learn this material.
If any of the writers of CSI attended a seminar, they wouldn't see creeps in silk shirts looking for new ways to get more notches on their bedposts. The guys I've met at seminars ARE THE NICE GUYS.
However, that hasn't been getting them anywhere. Somewhere along the path of life, many of them have picked up bad habits, social awkwardness, and a lack of confidence around women.
Why aren't they allowed to change these bad habits and start putting their best foot forward when they meet women?
People get tutored for everything else in life. If you can't do math, you get a tutor. If you want to do your job better, you take a seminar or class. Things like Sex in the City and Cosmopolitan tutor women in dealing with men, but there is no equivalent for guys. Magazines like Maxim are about desire, not improvement. The seduction community has its place, as the beginning of a self-help movement for men that's NOT new-age or emasculating. In fact, the coolest, bravest thing someone could do is recognize their weakness and work to improve it
In The Game, I outline some of the dangers and pitfalls of the seduction community. That doesn't mean that this world has nothing to offer. It just means that it should be a glorified hobby or extracurricular activity, not a way of life. It's a resource: take what you need from it, discard what you don't. Like I always told my students: The best way to meet women is to have something better to do than meet women.
No doubt shows like CSI and Twins are part of the pushback from culture to the ideas in The Game, a way to drive the genii back into the bottle. But I have a feeling the genii isn't going to go back. Society needs it too badly. Just look at all the men doing it wrong over and over, night after night.
A few people have written to me since all this exposure and asked if I was worried about the techniques in The Game being ruined. I'm not. And my next letter to you all, I'll tell you why the game remains the same.
Yours,
Neil
It's been a little while since you've heard from me. That's because I've been deep undercover in a new book. But I came up for air this week, and wanted to thank you all for the emails and photos. I also wanted to share a thought:
In the last month, something really strange has happened. The material in The Game has started seeping into pop culture.
An episode of CSI: Miami last month focused on a group of pickup artists led by a character named "Magician." These pickup artists used things like the lint opener, terms like "negs" and "sets," and lines and routines straight from The Game. When a pickup artist was murdered, a suspect who'd been setting up a rival pickup business was the chief suspect. There was even a journalist undercover in the community. It was eerie to watch because it was so close to what I'd written - except for the murder and the forensics and the journalist being female (and having a large zit on her forehead).
Meanwhile, on the WB, an episode of Sara Gilbert's show Twins revolved around a former nerd from her high school who had written a book on picking up women. He had distilled it all to a few simple rules, all taken straight from The Game (approach at an angle, demonstrate active disinterest, etc).
A lot of people saw these shows and said I should sue. Instead, I decided to write to my VIP list about it, because the shows brought up some interesting issues about the book and the mainstream response to it.
On CSI Miami, the underlying message at the end was that these pickup artists were evil people exploiting women.
On Twins, the underlying message was that nerds should stick to their own kind and not try to date out of their league.
What horrible messages - and neither of them true.
Before The Game was released, I promised myself that I wouldn't try to defend the seduction community. I'd simply tell the truth about my experiences, and people could draw their own conclusions.
However, as I did interview after interview where reporters erroneously tried to paint the community in a negative light as evil men learning how to trick and hurt women, I realized that I was going to have to defend something: And that is guys' right to learn this material.
If any of the writers of CSI attended a seminar, they wouldn't see creeps in silk shirts looking for new ways to get more notches on their bedposts. The guys I've met at seminars ARE THE NICE GUYS.
However, that hasn't been getting them anywhere. Somewhere along the path of life, many of them have picked up bad habits, social awkwardness, and a lack of confidence around women.
Why aren't they allowed to change these bad habits and start putting their best foot forward when they meet women?
People get tutored for everything else in life. If you can't do math, you get a tutor. If you want to do your job better, you take a seminar or class. Things like Sex in the City and Cosmopolitan tutor women in dealing with men, but there is no equivalent for guys. Magazines like Maxim are about desire, not improvement. The seduction community has its place, as the beginning of a self-help movement for men that's NOT new-age or emasculating. In fact, the coolest, bravest thing someone could do is recognize their weakness and work to improve it
In The Game, I outline some of the dangers and pitfalls of the seduction community. That doesn't mean that this world has nothing to offer. It just means that it should be a glorified hobby or extracurricular activity, not a way of life. It's a resource: take what you need from it, discard what you don't. Like I always told my students: The best way to meet women is to have something better to do than meet women.
No doubt shows like CSI and Twins are part of the pushback from culture to the ideas in The Game, a way to drive the genii back into the bottle. But I have a feeling the genii isn't going to go back. Society needs it too badly. Just look at all the men doing it wrong over and over, night after night.
A few people have written to me since all this exposure and asked if I was worried about the techniques in The Game being ruined. I'm not. And my next letter to you all, I'll tell you why the game remains the same.
Yours,
Neil