A Masterclass in What Not to Do

[Ricky]

That’s true. I still stand by all of my points tbh.

What threw me a bit was how quickly she moved on, started sleeping with other people within weeks, and then replaced his ass. Like the divorce wasn’t even finalized before she had a new boyfriend. That sucks lol.

The redpill would call this the warbride thing. Women move on quickly and even sleep with the enemy. Saw this happen with two friends of mine and it happened to me too

 

[Gamisch]

This is how most long term relationships end; with a devastated man , and a "happy single " woman. In a 5 year relationship , giving the information you got about when and how she moved on you can assume she wanted out for YEARS. She compensated years of unwanted feelings and desires in a couple of months as you can tell by the number of partners she had after the break up.

Every man in a relationship must evaluate this every 6 months. Hell, I'd almost say that(Hypothetically)you should evaluate together with her. " how do WE feel? Another 6 months? Let go!!". Even read somewhere that if you are a black dude you should even break up after 6 months regardless of how good things are..but that's for another thread.

What is, in your opinion the optimal exit plan to keep ready for if you have a girlfriend? Or marriage?

Off the top of my head I’d say you need to keep a Game Journal or a record of your successes. That way if you become single again you can be back up and running in a week or two.

There was actually a thread on here about that earlier this week.

The problem is that most men aren't build like this. You see , they say a woman can only be in love with 1 man at the time. 1 man gets her best version, and " every other man" (which might include her official partner) gets a watered down, cranky version of her.

But as the relationship progresses, the man will become more and more feminine while she becomes more masculine. So after 5 years its actually the man whose unable to "love " 2 women simultaneously, while she can move like a typical male player. The man will check her whereabouts ect, while she almosts WANTS to hear you are busy with other women .again, this can only occur when you are long passed the expiration date of the relationship. Thats why she doesn't even feel like a cheater; because she broke up and let go of him long time befire the official word came out.

While ironically enough keeping a back log is what prevents oneites. But again, you must be build like this,and you must have enough dark traits to pull it off. You gotta be resilient when she starts giVing you shyte and starts asking questions. Most man will cave in anyway. Best example is how a man in a relationship will slowly lose all his female "friends " to please her.

So by the time she is done done she has zero feeling left, while the man is still 100 % in it. You are taken aback by her lack of empathy? She lost empathy and respect for your friend looooong time ago. I bet he got a million hints,but refused to acknowledge them.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Meanwhile, the dude is handling it completely different. He hasn’t been going out at all. He doesn’t even work right now, he’s just been living off of his savings, since he was too depressed to keep a job. Additionally, he admitted that he hadn’t been with anyone else since the breakup and hadn’t had sex in 8 months. He broke down crying in front of his ex, trying to convince her to come back. He said that she’s the only one for him, and he’d never meet someone like her again.

D@mn, bro. This is painful to read. Maybe your friend needs you to b1tchslap some sense into him and give him some tough love. Tons and tons of though love.

 

[nicksaiz65]

A lot of times I see men here reacting that way in such scenarios. Either the woman was prepared for it ahead of time or just adapted quicker. I guess it can be jarring but if the roles were reversed we'd think the guy is a stone cold player. It only sucks because the guy hasn't moved on and is simping instead of banging 10 babes, or at least ignoring her a$$. Also who knows if she isn't miserable - but at least she moved on or tried. Women are more practical about this stuff. We're all replaceable, that's life.

I guess my greater point is red pillers are trying to game and be players but their reactions to this stuff is they wish the women were more emotional. Women talk about emotions a lot but they compartmentalize this shyt like pros or they chop it up with friends quietly. Nothing wrong with accepting and processing feelings but guys could learn a lot from chicks in that regard.



This is a great idea. I think keeping or making a list of girls I had a shot with / flirted with me (or slept with & I could go back to again) is a start too. Doesn't mean they will be sexually available in that moment but it's a reminder and a start. But bottom line is a man should always be flirting and keeping girls as orbiters. Gotta keep that social circle active and don't keep it limited to mutual friends w/your ex. Keep your value high and find ways to meet people - clubs, classes etc. Some guys say it's good for "dread game" (they have a point) but I prefer to approach it as something good for me and my mental health. Same with post breakup bangs, it's not to even a score with an ex but whatever's best for me.

I never went as far as keeping a list of old options but I think that’s an amazing idea.

I still do maintain the stance of “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else”

 

[nicksaiz65]

It's a very good post from the OP, but frankly I don't find this story surprising because, in my experience, women move on much more quickly than men - and I don't think that's just a modern thing, I think it's always been the case.

There might be a few tears initially but she'll move on soon thereafter, maybe in a few weeks, but often it's just days. I've seen it a lot. Whereas men usually take months, often years to get over the end of a LTR. Some never do.

The harsh reality is that women are emotionally harder than us and some of them are outright ruthless. I think it's hardwired into their system. In terms of practicalities, it's also much easier for them to get another partner. We all know this and so do they. Even a very average woman will immediately have lots of suitors if she makes herself available. For men, it's much harder work.

Great post. Very true.

A woman moving on within days still feels wild, but I guess it’s just something that we need to think about.

 

[nicksaiz65]

You can't wallow in this sort of thing, it will destroy you. I could understand taking a few weeks off if he has the means to. Did he quit his job because he was depressed? Or did he lose his job, and then the divorce happened? When it rains, it pours for guys when they let things get to them. Got to stay strong and push through.

It's the same with not having sex for eight months. In life, you need some sort of momentum, inactivity has become his inertia. It's hard to get an inert object moving again. When he goes back to wanting to have sex, he will probably start questioning himself and will have lost his confidence. It doesn't take long to lose your mojo.

I was under the impression that he quit his job after the divorce. He was just too depressed to do what he needed to to hold a job after that divorce.

 

[nicksaiz65]

D@mn, bro. This is painful to read. Maybe your friend needs you to b1tchslap some sense into him and give him some tough love. Tons and tons of though love.

We’re more like acquaintances, if anything I knew the girl better haha. Unfortunately he won’t listen. His closer friends have said the same thing..

 

[nicksaiz65]

Part Two

I do have a small update to the story. The girl grabbed the last of her stuff out of the guys’ house yesterday, and she brought her new boyfriend over to help with loading the UHaul.

I was like, good lord she brought the new boyfriend? As in, “Oh by the way, here’s your replacement?” That kind of rubbed me the wrong way because talk about twisting the knife

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You know what a woman is about when you reach a low point in your life and see what happens.

Many will leave you on the side of the road like the trash they just took out. The quality ones will stick around. That's honestly the only way you will ever find out who you are dating...

 

[inquisitor]

I’m not too worried about his dry spell. That’s the least of his problems right now.

The depression and being out of work are the more serious issues. I feel bad for the guy.

Part of what brought me here, to better understand masculinity and sexual dynamics, is that of my late uncle who was divorced by my aunt after she moved abroad and basically eloped with another guy in there (of the same race as us, mind you), after which he became and remained depressed - same story, lacking motivation in life, worrying about the children. The aunt hid the relationship for about a year (including a pregnancy), and she is still hiding from debts she has from relatives and loan companies in our country. My late uncle soon died in a motorcycle accident (he was last seen drunk), around the time I was new in this forum and had read part of TRM.

I regret not being able to let him know about all these ideas when he most needed it, partly due to my own insufficient knowledge and lack of confidence with the ideas at the time.

 

[zekko]

I was under the impression that he quit his job after the divorce. He was just too depressed to do what he needed to to hold a job after that divorce.

Yeah, that's a terrible idea. Maybe if he wanted to move on to a better job, that might be good reason to quit, but given his state of mind that probably should wait too. If nothing else, maybe the work would distract him. But I'm sure there are other guys in his situation who stuck with the job, but were too depressed to keep their mind on their work, and got canned. Guys let women destroy their lives, and they shouldn't, they're just not worth it.

As for her bringing her boyfriend to help her move out, yeah that's trashy. But maybe it will help him realize she's really moved on, and he should do the same.

Part of what brought me here, to better understand masculinity and sexual dynamics, is that of my late uncle who was divorced by my aunt after she moved abroad and basically eloped with another guy in there (of the same race as us, mind you), after which he became and remained depressed - same story, lacking motivation in life, worrying about the children. The aunt hid the relationship for about a year (including a pregnancy), and she is still hiding from debts she has from relatives and loan companies in our country. My late uncle soon died in a motorcycle accident (he was last seen drunk), around the time I was new in this forum and had read part of TRM.

Damn, that is a sad story.

 

[TheManMasenko]

Damn. Sounds like who I was...

That's an average case in this age of dating. Sadly, there won't be one and done cure for the man. Nope. He must level himself entirely, adopt a new mindset, beliefs and go about dating through a new lens to at least be prepared if this occurs in the future. Damn that's harsh...