A lurker's perspective on why 90% of the content here is redundant.

[XMinister]

Scars, I love the break downs bro, good shi't. One can definitely learn a lot just from reading your stuff in this thread. The only critique I have is that there is very little gray area involved. Everything seems so black or white from your perspective.

On that note, there is generally no right or wrong. Reality is a reflection of one's experience so there's really no sense in debating this unless its action oriented. In a way, both view points are correct, vague numbers aside of course....

 

[loveshogun]

OP -

This site is a learning tool. Like all learning tools, they are meant to be taken to their reasonable limit of usefulness, and then customized by the user.

Bruce Lee has a lot of good quotes about this. Here are a few:

Again let me remind you Jeet Kune Do (game) is just a name used, a boat to get one across, and once across it is to be discarded and not to be carried on one's back.

This means you use the structure of game - the techniques, the ideas, the simple things that get you to act - to introduce you to a world that you're unfamiliar with. It's a guide for you, until you become an expert. When you become the expert, you ARE the guide, capable of guiding others.

If you want to learn to swim, jump into the water. On dry land, no frame of mind is ever going to help you.

This is what most new people here need to do. They're new to the dating world, and have never taken the plunge. Now, don't get me wrong, I understand that most people aren't good at self-teaching, so jumping in the water with no one to drag your ass out if you start to sink, that's a bad idea. But, that's exactly why this site, a place free of gimmicks and sales pitches, was created. It's so that other DJs can be the safety net for the new guys, to offer support and advice, but ultimately leave it to the newbies to act.

I am learning to understand rather than immediately judge or to be judged. I cannot blindly follow the crowd and accept their approach. I will not allow myself to indulge in the usual manipulating game of role creation. Fortunately for me, my self-knowledge has transcended that and I have come to understand that life is best to be lived and not to be conceptualized. I am happy because I am growing daily and I am honestly not knowing where the limit lies. To be certain, every day there can be a revelation or a new discovery. I treasure the memory of the past misfortunes. It has added more to my bank of fortitude.

See this? Bruce Lee was never talking about Jeet Kune Do. Even when he was talking about Jeet Kune Do, he wasn't -really- talking about it. He was talking about life. About how to live your life to your potential and beyond. About how to view failure as an inevitable part of the process.

This place isn't perfect. Some of the arguments are inane, and some of the advice is down-right self destructive. But, that's no better than our basic nature, and in my mind, the key to transcending the cycle of self-defeat is to understand one's own nature - the strengths AND the weaknesses... ESPECIALLY the weaknesses.

AAAND then I realized that this thread had devolved into splitting hairs.

 

[Zarky]

Ah, another "armchair seduction" thread.

I've been looking at this stuff for about a year and a half, and I've lately been thinking that most of the content here is quite useful in theory, but pointless in practice.

Why don't you go out and actually try it?

 

[Serg897]

don't be needy, take action, improve yourself, enjoy yourself

This is it in a nutshell.

I am always wary of these debates because they always rely on unsubstantiated claims and generalizations about society/women/life that people make with little/no evidence. The statements coming from Scars especially are full of this. When it comes to matters of life, romance, and women, I think we must always be skeptical of anyone that says "premise x is always true", since people are so complex and the variables are always different in every situation.

I think that statement I quoted is all you need to learn from this website.

 

[Buddha_Mind]

Look; you can maybe "fake it" to get laid -- but you are CORRECT, if you are just pulling cheesy-pickup lines out of your ass and trying suave tactics, you will not find a meaningful relationship -- because your inner core will still be hallow.

The truth, what I learned recently from a LTR, is that you have to TRULY BE what you WANT TO BE. These tactics to prevent you from over-texting, pedastaling, etc, can help. BUT BE WARNED: If you fall in 'love', it is easy to start slipping...and if you are NOT what you WANT TO BE, you will slip anyhow because you are not taking care of yourself and your own **** and you will fall into a self-pity or misery or whatever the hodgepodge of emotion internal unrest causes...

There's no cheap-quick-way towards anything. Quality things take quality work. Some messages and ideas here are important -- don't let the extremist points of view, or "treat women like trash" get too deep in your head...there is the tendency to exaggerate a certain line of perspective...

I'm convinced experience is the best and real teacher. You can use this place to adjust your theory and ways of thinking...to examine new points of view and new suggestions for alternative action to gain a more desired outcome...but I really feel like getting into relationships, approaching girls, will teach you first-hand more about yourself and your interactions with the opposite sex than any online article truly can.

 

[TempestNight]

This site (and many others) will only teach you how to approach girls, get their numbers or inside their pants, but it won't teach you how to maintain a relationship when the girl can finally get to know the real you.

For that you will have to genuinely improve yourself. This site can't teach you how to be a better man, it can only teach you how to make yourself feel better about yourself.

 

[TempestNight]

Look; you can maybe "fake it" to get laid -- but you are CORRECT, if you are just pulling cheesy-pickup lines out of your ass and trying suave tactics, you will not find a meaningful relationship -- because your inner core will still be hallow.

The truth, what I learned recently from a LTR, is that you have to TRULY BE what you WANT TO BE. These tactics to prevent you from over-texting, pedastaling, etc, can help. BUT BE WARNED: If you fall in 'love', it is easy to start slipping...and if you are NOT what you WANT TO BE, you will slip anyhow because you are not taking care of yourself and your own **** and you will fall into a self-pity or misery or whatever the hodgepodge of emotion internal unrest causes...

There's no cheap-quick-way towards anything. Quality things take quality work. Some messages and ideas here are important -- don't let the extremist points of view, or "treat women like trash" get too deep in your head...there is the tendency to exaggerate a certain line of perspective...

I'm convinced experience is the best and real teacher. You can use this place to adjust your theory and ways of thinking...to examine new points of view and new suggestions for alternative action to gain a more desired outcome...but I really feel like getting into relationships, approaching girls, will teach you first-hand more about yourself and your interactions with the opposite sex than any online article truly can.

I can't agree with this more.

I recently got out from a 5 years LTR. It was one of the most best things that ever happened to my life. Did I use the stuff I had learned in this site to get her to be crazy for me? Of course I did. But eventually when you do fall for the girl and the relationship becomes something real, you will realize that all the tips, strategies and techniques you have read here all go to the trash bin. They are not going to work. That's when you really have to show her for who you really are inside without all the sugar coating and the DJ personality you have created for yourself.

This site doesn't prepare you for that.

I also believe that a lot of people here like Scars have been so badly hurt by women that they automatically set up a self-defense mechanism to detach themselves from all forms of emotions regarding true love and romance, and to disillusion such notions are utterly false. It's really pitiful. Because true love and romance do exist. You are now reading from a guy who just had 5 years of amazing, caring, loving, romantic and sexual LTR. We were even unofficially engaged and planned to marry until family problems came in and we had to end it.

If ONS and sex are all you want, this site will serve its purpose. But if you are looking for something much more fulfilling than just simple sex, a real relationship, one that gives you support, love and care. You need to start taking the DJ stuff with a grain of salt (because none of the stuff here are scientifically proven, take a few courses on applied social studies and psychology and you will realize how much established empirical theories and facts contradict what this site and many people here generalize women as) and start changing who you really are inside.