A lot of the good ones are taken

[Serg897]

Hey all,

Im starting a new graduate program this week - lots of cuties at orientation. A large group of us went out to a pub, and I starting chatting with many people.

TOO MANY of the good ones have boyfriends. Its like you need to start having a mental checklist and when they mention "boyfriend", you cross them out. Often I'll meet a women who despite having the boyfriend, I consider interesting and make friends with.

That being said, yesterday I ended up making out with a girl - she was talking sh!t about me all night while she was getting drunk, yet one of my newfound female friends kept telling me "this girl wants to have sex with you". It's always been a sort of love/hate relationship with her. And so eventually yes, I was able to charm her into making out. LOL. But what do I discover? She's got a boyfriend. :crazy:

I have no idea whats going to happen next with that one!

Just a show of hands - how many people here make moves despite the boyfriend stuff?

 

[kokane]

I do. Usually Boyfriends are lucky afc's who dont deserve her. And if they do deserve her, then no matter what i do, i wont be able to make her leave him.

 

[comic_relief]

I do NOT make a move on anyone that has a boyfriend unless the relationship has crumbled so far that it is VERY obvious.

The girl that I am talking about was in a myspace relationship and only saw him once every two months. They would only talk once a week and she was very unhappy.

But if it is a normal relationship, then I will NOT make a move if I know that she has a boyfriend.

Most guys say that i will miss out on a lot of opportunities, but because I do not like it done to me. I refuse to create massive heartache plus afterwards it hurts the girl sometimes just as much as the girl creating emotional baggage.

Also does anyone else notice that the reason we call them the "good ones" are because they are happier. I never really see that many "good ones" out of relationship because most single girls are miserable.

Case and point: My roommate is a bloated whale mind you, but she was the absolute b!tchiest girl that I know, but once she got into a relationship with a really great guy. She became a lot nicer and personality wise a really good one.

Maybe the reason that they are considered good ones is because they are genuinely happy.

comic_relief

 

[scrouds]

Boyfriends, like shiit tests, are just another obstacle for the DJ to overcome.

Have at!

 

[Serg897]

Also does anyone else notice that the reason we call them the "good ones" are because they are happier. I never really see that many "good ones" out of relationship because most single girls are miserable.

Thats an interesting point. When I say "good" ones I mean the nice/friendly/cute ones. The ones its easy to get along with and have a conversation with. I've definately noticed that many of these are already taken, and the ones that are less friendly/less easy to converse with/less attractive are the single ones. Definitely not always true, but its a pattern I've noticed especially among other incoming grad students.

Most guys say that i will miss out on a lot of opportunities, but because I do not like it done to me. I refuse to create massive heartache plus afterwards it hurts the girl sometimes just as much as the girl creating emotional baggage.

It all stems from this moral attitude of "would you like it to be done to you?" But you can also take another "survival of the fittest" mindset, or simply an attitude that you matter more than others.

I tend to NOT do it for several reasons. Its harder. The girl has to have a certain type of personality, and a certain kind of relationship with her boyfriend, for her to be receptive to your advances. And sometimes it backfires - it just makes you end up looking like a d!ck if you continue to make moves even after she mentions a boyfriend. This is in addition to the moral aspect.

The girl from last night - I wasnt sure she had a boyfriend until this morning when I checked out her profile on facebook. While we were kissing each other last night at the bar she mentioned something about a boyfriend under her breath, but I chose to consciously ignore it. And it didnt stop her from being all lovey-dovey later (this is after she was telling everyone Im an @sshole). She was a bit drunk though, so who knows. We'll see what she is like when I see her today...

 

[zekko]

When I say "good" ones I mean the nice/friendly/cute ones. The ones its easy to get along with and have a conversation with. I've definately noticed that many of these are already taken, and the ones that are less friendly/less easy to converse with/less attractive are the single ones.

Makes sense that if they are easy to have a conversation with that they would already be taken. If they were hard to approach and form a connection with, they are less likely to have a boyfriend.

I have mixed feelings about the boyfriend thing. Having a boyfriend is not a marriage, so in that sense they're fair game. But it can cause a lot of heartache for someone, so that's not cool. If I was very seriously attracted to a girl, I probably wouldn't let the boyfriend stop me. But if it was just for a lay or something I would pass. If you have your choice, I'd pick one that wasn't taken. But there are different levels of boyfriends, some relationships are more serious than others. Some girls don't care if they have a boyfriend, they'll still go out with you - some don't care even if they're married. But these are not generally high quality women character wise although they can often be very physically attractive. It depends on what you're looking for.

 

[Ganondorf]

I do. Usually Boyfriends are lucky afc's who dont deserve her. And if they do deserve her, then no matter what i do, i wont be able to make her leave him.

Lol doesn't deserve her??

as if some cheating girl is a prize to have

get real

But anyway, I usually steer clear of girls with boyfriends. I don't even flirt with them or lead them on in anyway. I think that they got into a relationship with that man, then they should honor it. if they wanna fvck around then they shouldn't be in a exclusive relationship in the first place.

also, I would not want some dude pushing up on my chick, so I have enough respect for other men to leave theirs alone, I don't care if he's the biggest AFC in the world. He got her, He can have her. if she'll cheat with me then she'll cheat on me more than likely. she's nothing special

Plenty of single women out there

 

[Duffdog]

if she'll cheat with me then she'll cheat on me more than likely. she's nothing special

Big misconception. She will cheat with you if you are higher on the food chain than her current BF. She will cheat on you only if she feels that she can get a male even higher up than you. If you are at the top, there is no need to worry.

So focus on being at the top.

 

[scrouster]

...I would not want some dude pushing up on my chick, so I have enough respect for other men to leave theirs alone...

:wave: World doesn't work that way.

 

[Dust 2 Dust]

Sounds like a student of Mystery Method.

 

[Ganondorf]

:wave: World doesn't work that way.

It does for me.

treat others the way you want to be treated. Golden rule

 

[Ganondorf]

Big misconception. She will cheat with you if you are higher on the food chain than her current BF. She will cheat on you only if she feels that she can get a male even higher up than you. If you are at the top, there is no need to worry.

So focus on being at the top.

Nope

Cheating most times has absolutely NOTHING to do with how "high up" a male is in status

cheating also most times has nothing to do with getting something better. If it was so much better then they'd leave their current relationship to start one with you.

 

[WCF]

Call me naive, but I fail to see why there's even a debate about this.

Cheating is such a taboo in society... and for good reason. Perhaps if there was no "society," yeah, an alpha male would be reaping in the ladies, but the fact is that society exists and you might as well play by its rules. Why? Because believe it or not, no matter how cynical you are, the world is not out to get you. Because others in society are looking out for you too. I guarantee you, if another man knew your lady was with you, he would not be trying to pick her up (a low-life, on the other hand, would). You don't have to act like we're living in some chaotic, "every man for himself" state of nature.

Why would a DJ even need to be snagging other people's women anyway? To serve his own selfish desires? You have a sex drive, but there's a point where you just gotta say you're going too far.

A man has desires and he acts on those desires. But a man also has morals. A savage has desires as well, but he takes without consideration of any but his own self. If you live by that philosophy, you are sadly living a dated and twisted lifestyle.

 

[Unbridled_Phoenix]

Nope

Cheating most times has absolutely NOTHING to do with how "high up" a male is in status

cheating also most times has nothing to do with getting something better. If it was so much better then they'd leave their current relationship to start one with you.

True. The Billionaire vs. Poolboy Paradox.

 

[IKO69]

Yes, all the genuine good girls are taken early. That is why they are called good girls. Bad girls-drunks, skanks, party sluts, lots of them will keep the party going until their expiration date.

 

[Desert Fox]

It does for me.

treat others the way you want to be treated. Golden rule

Have you thought about the rule another way?

Other people will take your girl with no second thought. Therefore that is how they want to be treated. So you should do the same.

 

[TheBaconator]

I agree for the most part with what the guys who are saying they don't pursue the ones in a LTR.

As brought up earlier, if they will cheat with you, chances are they will cheat on you. Couldn't agree more. So by that logic, if you end up getting them to cheat chances are they really aren't the "good ones", as you make them out to be. So in those instances, if I really liked a chick who had a bf I would befriend her, and then who knows down the line if it doesn't work out with the current guy. I've found when i'm friends with them i'm more comfortable showing my full personality, and really not giving a sh*t what they think of me. If they like me as the ******* i am, then I know down the line chances are a relationship would work out better with them. Not only that but building more of a friendship usually leads to a better LTR imo.

Now this is only for the good ones. If they are total *****s and the bf is just oblivious to this, then I wouldn't have a problem getting it. But that's as far as it would go.

 

[Ganondorf]

Have you thought about the rule another way?

Other people will take your girl with no second thought. Therefore that is how they want to be treated. So you should do the same.

well true. Some guys would not care. I however do care, and do not blame everyman on the planet because of a few wanna be players.

In the past, yes, I have had guys who try to "steal" my girlfriend. Of course it didn't work, but I would never stoop to their level just because they did it to me. Not everyman is out to steal from you. So I do not make snap opinions like that about everyman just because a select few are snakes

This whole "they'll steal your woman" complex sounds like chick talk to me

"OH, I hate other girls! All they wanna do is steal your man!!!!"
Not everybody is out trying to steal your girl. If a girl I like got exclusive with another man, then I would not encourage her breaking that commitment.

If she wants to cheat, then she can, but not with me. a Cheater is not a "good girl"

People seem to to place huge value on chicks just because they're hot. Ok, so she's hot. That doesn't make her one of the good ones. Even if her Boyfriend is AFC, he got her some how. You guys are fooling yourselves into thinking that you are 1-uping a guy just because his hot girl cheats with you. If she is that willing to cheat then she must not be that hard to get anyway.

News flash! you are NOTHING more than just "the other guy". So don't go getting a big head just because you snagged some ho in the relationship. Like I said, if you were sooo much better, then she'd drop the other guy in a heartbeat to be with you instead

see how retarded all this is? why go through all the drama of a taken chick when you could have 20 singles girls by the time you "steal" one? Yes, single girls are out there. good ones too

 

[Desert Fox]

well true. Some guys would not care. I however do care, and do not blame everyman on the planet because of a few wanna be players.

In the past, yes, I have had guys who try to "steal" my girlfriend. Of course it didn't work, but I would never stoop to their level just because they did it to me. Not everyman is out to steal from you. So I do not make snap opinions like that about everyman just because a select few are snakes

This whole "they'll steal your woman" complex sounds like chick talk to me

"OH, I hate other girls! All they wanna do is steal your man!!!!"
Not everybody is out trying to steal your girl. If a girl I like got exclusive with another man, then I would not encourage her breaking that commitment.

If she wants to cheat, then she can, but not with me. a Cheater is not a "good girl"

People seem to to place huge value on chicks just because they're hot. Ok, so she's hot. That doesn't make her one of the good ones. Even if her Boyfriend is AFC, he got her some how. You guys are fooling yourselves into thinking that you are 1-uping a guy just because his hot girl cheats with you. If she is that willing to cheat then she must not be that hard to get anyway.

News flash! you are NOTHING more than just "the other guy". So don't go getting a big head just because you snagged some ho in the relationship. Like I said, if you were sooo much better, then she'd drop the other guy in a heartbeat to be with you instead

see how retarded all this is? why go through all the drama of a taken chick when you could have 20 singles girls by the time you "steal" one? Yes, single girls are out there. good ones too

Yeah just throwing it out there man haha. I totally agree. Honestly if a chick w/ a BF is willing to cheat with me that is a huge red flag. She is a cheater and low quality. I would probablyo nly use this as a sh1t test or something. I would definitely ask her to leave her BF first before we started anything.

 

[RFish]

I am aware I digress lol.

I don't know if its useful but I have dated a girl 2 years ago, she had a boyfriend and she kept it from me.

I was probably her new branch until I took extra effort to ask around and I found out she has one.

When such a thing happen, both parties are at "fault" as seem by the society. It is like a mother feeding a child, you cannot feed the child if the child doesn't open his mouth.

So depends on what kind of person you are, some will not do this because they don't want it to be done to them. These are the people who believe in retribution.

There also those that will blame the girl and say if the foundation of the relationship with the guy is strong enough, she will not stray.

So really, there is no right or wrong.

If you really want it so badly, at least try to get it.