A lot of dudes I know who peaked early are a mess entering their 30s.

[Jesse Pinkman]

FWIW, these are all southern guys I know so maybe its different for dudes who grew up in NYC or LA.

I know we talk about how women have a wall and all of that but a week ago, I caught up with some old friends from high school and college. A lot of these guys were your typical football team jocks and fraternity dudes who were supposedly good with women in those years. After catching up with a few of them, here are some themes I noticed from the various guys.

1. Most of them married young and often married mediocre looking women that got worse with age, some of them even fat.

2. Some of them who remained single often just have a drink with the boys and rely on online dating or friends of friends to help them meet girls. A few have taken up joining the church and some said it is to meet women, some rely on coworkers as partners.

3. The few who seem to be doing "well" are all relying on social circles and work places with loose standards and even then, a couple have confessed to me that they do not crack a lay count above a 5 on a given year because they see the same girls over and over.

Even with number 3, I notice these dudes have put on weight and lack that zest for life that their younger self had.

And the hottest girls, who are they going for?

I notice that the hottest girls are going for guys who are hitting on all cylinders. These are the guys who look good in their late 20s or 30s, have a career on the right trajectory, are doing big things with their lives, and seriously going places. Some go for a guy who comes from Old Money though but that is about it.

What's weird is that I have networked with a lot of these successful guys who are killing it now and yeah, some of them were jocks and alphas in their school days. However, a significant chunk of them seem to be dudes who were also former nerds that grew up and got more comfortable in their skin. I have known some who just looked like the dudes who'd be stuffed into lockers in their high school days blossom into something completely different in a good way.

Just my experience though.

 

[Millard Fillmore]

Just goes to show: High school doesn't mean sh*t in the long run. College either. It's never too late to be what you might have been. Those archetypes (jock, nerd etc) can fade away depending on the direction you go in life.

Also, while being a football player can be great in h.s., it's not all-defining. A lot of dudes do it because they just like sports or are good at it. Doesn't mean they aren't actually dorky or awkward. And "rebel" types (musicians and greasers) can hit the skids if they're not careful. By the time you're 24-30 you'd better have an internally-driven purpose in life.

 

[HaleyBaron]

Seems normal to me. Men and women got married young for thousands of years. We're really not supposed to be living into old age in the large numbers that we are now. There's something to be said about the human lifespan and the years we use to live and procreate life. In that, I respect the men who dove into family life at an early age. People who chase vices and wealth in the city are likely the strange ones to these "early peaked men." Which I think is just a city term for people who live traditional lives.

 

[Barrister]

In college, I knew guys just like you did that fit this mold. They were generally very tall athletes at my college (which was a low D1 school) who basically had the "jersey chaser" girls all over them nonstop. In college, being good at throwing around a ball carries a lot of weight. Out in the real world, not so much unless you are in that rare stratosphere of being a professional athlete.

In college, where so little of substance actually matters to getting girls, being super confident and tall is essentially all you need to absolutely slay it. Hence why these jock types do so well in that little bubble environment. Out in the real world though, where real accomplishments matter, suddenly just being tall is a single factor and acting c0cky doesn't hold much sway if you are banking only about $50-60k per year. If you are going to get the true hotties, you nailed it by saying you need to be "firing on all cylinders."

 

[CornbreadFed]

High School and College are both superficial environments that don't represent the real world. College is worse than high school IMHO, but these guys need an artificial climate to thrive in. This is why I think Americans get Extroversion and Introversion completely wrong because take the confident jock out of his bubble and he is just as shy and quiet as the next guy. My HS and College friends would not survive outside their bubble and some resort to marriage with just about any woman to sustain it.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

The vast majority of my buddies from the small town I'm from got married; there is a group of women I went to grade school with who say "If your not married, your an incel!" which is laughable.

I went to a gathering, while camping and they were there, they said this to me and I proceeded to give the group my regular schpeel about marriage, all factual and a lot of these guys that got married were completely dumbfounded, especially per our more special rules in our province which is a very left leaning place to begin with... Essentially if your married for 10 years with kids and get divorced, your life will basically be reset.

I can see the great reset coming for a lot of them, got bullied by a bunch of women into marriage.

 

[HaleyBaron]

Yeah that was when society was agrarian, before the industrial revolution, families were getting married early and living close to work the land. That was when men were providing, women were raising children. Society changed.

Also, men and women who got a family early in today's society did it because of the woman got pregnant and their parents helped them, not because they had everything figured out and wanted to have a family, you can't get a house at 20 years old like in the old days.

So, in today's world, having a family when both are young and struggling is not a good way, unless parents help them.

But biology didn't catch up with technology, which is the major problem. Thats why mental illness is large atm, along with all the health problems we're having. Humans arent suppose to be living this kind of life. The pre-industrial lifestyle is more healthy. Which is funny to say but ironically true.

 

[CornbreadFed]

But biology didn't catch up with technology, which is the major problem. Thats why mental illness is large atm, along with all the health problems we're having. Humans arent suppose to be living this kind of life. The pre-industrial lifestyle is more healthy. Which is funny to say but ironically true.

Yep dying by 30 from God knows what sounds ideal

 

[Hal9000]

Yeah men tend to age much worse than women. Lots more attractive 30, 40 and 50 year old women than men so the idea of a wall only applies to one gender is laughable.

 

[HaleyBaron]

Yeah men tend to age much worse than women. Lots more attractive 30, 40 and 50 year old women than men so the idea of a wall only applies to one gender is laughable.

It exists for women on a biological level. Women at 30+ can pretty themselves however they want, they all are insecure and aware that they have passed their peak. They can get ****ed and rawdogged, but men can **** each other, sex dolls, masturbate and...YOUNGER WOMEN. Basically, men have tons of options if it's a 30+ woman vs anything else. Even if these are beta men.

 

[Manure Spherian]

married mediocre looking women that got worse with age,

Serious question: Do you know if those men who’ve gotten such wives who aged poorly are unhappy with them?

There are also men who did fine in all areas of life in their younger years who are doing just fine now. Hence I don’t think peaking early backfires absolutely. If anything, in many cases, early success simply catapults them into future success.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

There is no peak, you should be arriving for constant improvement in SOME areas of your life at all times.

No such thing as staying steady...you either are improving or declining in various areas either due to erosion of skills that aren't being used or due to lack of focus.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

High School and College are both superficial environments that don't represent the real world. College is worse than high school IMHO, but these guys need an artificial climate to thrive in. This is why I think Americans get Extroversion and Introversion completely wrong because take the confident jock out of his bubble and he is just as shy and quiet as the next guy. My HS and College friends would not survive outside their bubble and some resort to marriage with just about any woman to sustain it.

IMO, success in high school and even college is more determined by your parents rather than you. A lot of these kids come from very sheltered and wealthy enough families. The partying and all of that is really in the nice suburban schools since no one wants to go to the ones in the hood for that.

After college, your success is more determined by you than your parents.

 

[Dr.Suave]

There is no peak

D@mn, bro. I might steal that for my signature

 

[SW15]

FWIW, these are all southern guys I know so maybe its different for dudes who grew up in NYC or LA.

I know we talk about how women have a wall and all of that but a week ago, I caught up with some old friends from high school and college. A lot of these guys were your typical football team jocks and fraternity dudes who were supposedly good with women in those years. After catching up with a few of them, here are some themes I noticed from the various guys.

1. Most of them married young and often married mediocre looking women that got worse with age, some of them even fat.

2. Some of them who remained single often just have a drink with the boys and rely on online dating or friends of friends to help them meet girls. A few have taken up joining the church and some said it is to meet women, some rely on coworkers as partners.

3. The few who seem to be doing "well" are all relying on social circles and work places with loose standards and even then, a couple have confessed to me that they do not crack a lay count above a 5 on a given year because they see the same girls over and over.

Even with number 3, I notice these dudes have put on weight and lack that zest for life that their younger self had.

In college, I knew guys just like you did that fit this mold. They were generally very tall athletes at my college (which was a low D1 school) who basically had the "jersey chaser" girls all over them nonstop. In college, being good at throwing around a ball carries a lot of weight. Out in the real world, not so much unless you are in that rare stratosphere of being a professional athlete.

In college, where so little of substance actually matters to getting girls, being super confident and tall is essentially all you need to absolutely slay it. Hence why these jock types do so well in that little bubble environment. Out in the real world though, where real accomplishments matter, suddenly just being tall is a single factor and acting c0cky doesn't hold much sway if you are banking only about $50-60k per year. If you are going to get the true hotties, you nailed it by saying you need to be "firing on all cylinders."

There are a lot of men who are good at seducing in high school and college. @Robert28 is the perfect example of this guy as he was a Prom King and Div II/Div III college football player. Those status markers are enough to get a guy laid in high school and college. After that, things can change.

In @Jesse Pinkman 's quote, there are guys who can live off of their college status as adults. If you're a geographically fixed guy who spends his entire childhood in the same region, goes to a college within a 2-4 hour drive of his childhood location, and stays in a big city that region, you can almost rely on social circle entirely. Let's put real life examples to this. Someone grows up in the Atlanta suburbs, goes to UGA, and returns to Atlanta post college. In Texas, you'll see people who grow up in the Dallas/Houston/Austin suburbs, go to Texas/Texas A&M/Texas Tech/SMU/TCU and then go home to Dallas/Houston/Austin. Those people are set based on their childhood networks and alumni networks from a nearby university.

In @Barrister 's quote, he's mostly accurate. If you're an NCAA athlete who doesn't go pro in a sport, you'll need to have something else to propel you. One guy who was a successful seducer that I've known is a 6'4" former NCAA athlete in a country club sport. He got a solid white collar job after college too. He used his height, in-shape physique, and white collar job to look the part of dreamy guy. That combination is what a lot of bougie White women desired. He spent time in the bougie bars and was able to seduce a lot of bougie White women, often for same night sex. Eventually, he left the seduction game, got into an LTR, got married, and had children. He was able to market himself well.

I think that a single factor alone can work well for getting one night stands and short term sex. Being 6'0"+ and fit/with big muscles can be enough to be perceived as a 'Chad' and get easier sex.

A lot of guys become messes in their 30s/40s when they were at least somewhat successful with women in their teens and 20s. What happens in one's 30s/40s? Sexless marriages, affairs, first divorces, alimony and custody battles, wives gaining weight, husbands gaining weight, suburban house responsibilities, etc. These are the kinds of things that wreck a lot of men.

 

[Mike32ct]

Yeah men tend to age much worse than women. Lots more attractive 30, 40 and 50 year old women than men so the idea of a wall only applies to one gender is laughable.

Women typically live longer than men. So, it wouldn’t make sense for men to, on average, “age better” than women.

 

[CornbreadFed]

IMO, success in high school and even college is more determined by your parents rather than you. A lot of these kids come from very sheltered and wealthy enough families. The partying and all of that is really in the nice suburban schools since no one wants to go to the ones in the hood for that.

After college, your success is more determined by you than your parents.

The most successful people I know are people with generous parents that actually capitalized on it and still maintained a strong work ethic. All of the people I know that just floated by off of Daddy's money are pretty much stagnant not self-sufficient right now.

 

[jnMissouri]

In college, I knew guys just like you did that fit this mold. They were generally very tall athletes at my college (which was a low D1 school) who basically had the "jersey chaser" girls all over them nonstop. In college, being good at throwing around a ball carries a lot of weight. Out in the real world, not so much unless you are in that rare stratosphere of being a professional athlete.

In college, where so little of substance actually matters to getting girls, being super confident and tall is essentially all you need to absolutely slay it. Hence why these jock types do so well in that little bubble environment. Out in the real world though, where real accomplishments matter, suddenly just being tall is a single factor and acting c0cky doesn't hold much sway if you are banking only about $50-60k per year. If you are going to get the true hotties, you nailed it by saying you need to be "firing on all cylinders."

This. While dating will always be a numbers game for men, my gf's are usually 9 or 10's, my last one was 26, drop dead gorgeous Viet girl, I'm in my 40's. She had a high paying job. I've also had women a year younger than her and some a couple years older fly across the country or drive across the state for years at their own expense to carry on a relationship with me, some were just side chicks though to me. I've also dated rich/semi famous chics who own multi national corporations I met on elite singles sites. Funny thing is those girls put in their profile they only date other verified high net worth members (anyone can join, but 99% are just average or below average people, but a few of us are verified.....)

I'm average height but an 8 in looks, buff, advanced degrees, I'm funny as hell, 300K+ a year career, and a self made multi-millionaire. Never married, no kids, nice water front house...but drive a regular car, nothing fancy. I'm planning on fully retiring next year, fingers crossed. Having your life together gives you many options. Heck, the Asian chics I date are all successful and only date successful guys.

Last week I went out with a Neurologist. This week I went out with a Cardiologist. Funny enough they are both friends I found out...

Prior to that I was banging a Chinese chic that retired in her 30's and is rich. Still dating another Chinese chis that is a business owner. I still sleep with some hot but unaccomplished women too, but being put together is rare...so you have options.

Point is, the girls I date are hot AND highly educated/successful. They don't date the guys who peaked in High School...

I will say though with a high body count, and a string of failed relationships, I'm at the point where I'm more focused on my money and retiring rather than women. Had I focused on my money more for the last 15 years I'd be worth 2-5 times more net worth wise...

Women are not worth it. Sex is fun sure but not all that. If you're honest with yourself, we chase women for validation...it's why we like to talk body count. Sleeping with a lot of women isn't what makes you the man....

 

[SW15]

Last week I went out with a Neurologist. This week I went out with a Cardiologist. Funny enough they are both friends I found out...

Prior to that I was banging a Chinese chic that retired in her 30's and is rich. Still dating another Chinese chis that is a business owner. I still sleep with some hot but unaccomplished women too, but being put together is rare...so you have options.

Point is, the girls I date are hot AND highly educated/successful. They don't date the guys who peaked in High School...

Going out with careerist women is not that much of an accomplishment. Why would you do it? They are a royal pain in mating interactions.

 

[Fortune_favors_the_bold]

Whatever you are in high school doesnt depends on you but marginally.

What you are before your 20s is the result of your genetics and your family environment.

You true self starts to exist in your mid 20s and show itself in your late 20s/early 30s.