A lost cause? Soldier on?

[gettinit]

I have known this girl for about 3 months. Met her, got her number, forgot about her. She sent me a text about two weeks later saying hello. We bounced texts back over the following weeks. Some days, quite a few, others none. We both have busy schedules and he is further away than I normally would go so it took a bit to set up a date. I was working a slow text game and it built up to some pretty hot stuff.

First date (planned 5 days ahead) went well, kiss close, said that she had enjoyed herself. Texted her the following day:" had a great time have to do it again".. All initially seemed good but the sexting ended and texts became shorter with a longer delay and she was no longer initiating at all. It was rare before, but since then, nonexistent.

Tried to set up another date and she was busy with no alternate offered, I backed off for a bit and on a Friday morning (I had nothing on the books for that night) I sent her a text: Lets get together tonight, I'll pick the place. She responded that she was covering someones shift but could meet me after that. The date went as good or better than the first, we got to the point of fingering and she was hot, but shut me down. Yes, I tried a few times.

Texts became as short or shorter after that. No questions at all to me in the replies. I left her with her sending the last text a number of times. I tried asking her out again about 10 days later. Again busy without an alternate offered, but followed with a second text "Glad you asked though!" Again waiting a few days, being that her schedule was tight, I sent her a text asking what days were open in the coming week and I'll see what works. She replied:

"I'm busy all week. For me, It may be better to be more impromptu. I understand if that doesn't work well for you. I could imaging that it could feel frustrating."

I read this as: If you ask me out and I didn't already plan something else to do, we can go out"
Or: I am seeing another guy, you are my side plate and if you don't like it..
Or: Just that.

I replied (in part):
" No worries. I'm a big boy and if I get frustrated, you will be the first to know. That should go both ways.".

That's from a week ago. Just sent a single text since. I was going to a concert and sent a touch base text:
"Hey *******, how was your week? I'm looking forward to the concert tomorrow bla bla bla.. (light, fun, not long)

Her reply: "Its been busy!!!"

I realize that how was your week wasn't the most exciting question, but this wasn't an opener. Not even a "how was yours or "how are you"?

Mixed messages suck! As busy as she and I both are, the odds of hitting an open time for her is not all that great and I'm not going to ask constantly. I have alternatives so I'm good in that respect. She is pretty cute and fun so I would prefer not to next her. Plus, I can always learn something no matter what happens. So, any input? Send her nothing for another week or until she initiates (might never happen)?
Ask her to clarify impromptu? As in a day out, or same day (I'm not big on that one). Tell her to text me when she has some free time? I hate leaving it in her court by my own making. Maybe leave her for when I have nothing else going on?

Thanks all.

 

[The Duke]

This girls has low interest. She isn't worth entertaining. Find someone else. Its only "mixed messages" because she hasn't blatantly came out and told you to take a hike.

 

[DreamAgain]

No contact time.

 

[marmel75]

There are no mixed messages only indicators of low interest with you trying to justify it as her having more interest than she does.

What does soldier on mean? If it means you going out with multiple other women and paying her no attention then yes.

 

[SuckItUp]

I have known this girl for about 3 months. Met her, got her number, forgot about her. She sent me a text about two weeks later saying hello. We bounced texts back over the following weeks. Some days, quite a few, others none. We both have busy schedules and he is further away than I normally would go so it took a bit to set up a date. I was working a slow text game and it built up to some pretty hot stuff.

First date (planned 5 days ahead) went well, kiss close, said that she had enjoyed herself. Texted her the following day:" had a great time have to do it again".. All initially seemed good but the sexting ended and texts became shorter with a longer delay and she was no longer initiating at all. It was rare before, but since then, nonexistent.

Tried to set up another date and she was busy with no alternate offered, I backed off for a bit and on a Friday morning (I had nothing on the books for that night) I sent her a text: Lets get together tonight, I'll pick the place. She responded that she was covering someones shift but could meet me after that. The date went as good or better than the first, we got to the point of fingering and she was hot, but shut me down. Yes, I tried a few times.

Texts became as short or shorter after that. No questions at all to me in the replies. I left her with her sending the last text a number of times. I tried asking her out again about 10 days later. Again busy without an alternate offered, but followed with a second text "Glad you asked though!" Again waiting a few days, being that her schedule was tight, I sent her a text asking what days were open in the coming week and I'll see what works. She replied:

"I'm busy all week. For me, It may be better to be more impromptu. I understand if that doesn't work well for you. I could imaging that it could feel frustrating."

I read this as: If you ask me out and I didn't already plan something else to do, we can go out"
Or: I am seeing another guy, you are my side plate and if you don't like it..
Or: Just that.

I replied (in part):
" No worries. I'm a big boy and if I get frustrated, you will be the first to know. That should go both ways.".

That's from a week ago. Just sent a single text since. I was going to a concert and sent a touch base text:
"Hey *******, how was your week? I'm looking forward to the concert tomorrow bla bla bla.. (light, fun, not long)

Her reply: "Its been busy!!!"

I realize that how was your week wasn't the most exciting question, but this wasn't an opener. Not even a "how was yours or "how are you"?

Mixed messages suck! As busy as she and I both are, the odds of hitting an open time for her is not all that great and I'm not going to ask constantly. I have alternatives so I'm good in that respect. She is pretty cute and fun so I would prefer not to next her. Plus, I can always learn something no matter what happens. So, any input? Send her nothing for another week or until she initiates (might never happen)?
Ask her to clarify impromptu? As in a day out, or same day (I'm not big on that one). Tell her to text me when she has some free time? I hate leaving it in her court by my own making. Maybe leave her for when I have nothing else going on?

Thanks all.

It’s not really a mixed message. The basic premise is that her actions are communicating a lack of interest. Her words are incongruent.

Typically when a girl goes out and even gets physical to an extent but is being coy, it usually means that you are a filler for either a guy she can’t have or she’s going through the emotions because she likes the attention she’s getting but she doesn’t see a future.

In essence you haven’t hit her fear of loss threshhold.

 

[gettinit]

As I has said, I have other options, I want to experiment a bit. No harm in that since I only have text time invested, which was fun and a couple of dates that were fun. So I didn't get laid. I have gone quite a while without it at times and I have others where I can. Sure, it seems low interest and I failed to mention (the first post was long enough) that she went out of her way on the second date in getting off work early (financial loss) to allow enough time for the date and bought the drinks. Honestly, I didn't think that the second date was going to happen due to the seemingly reduced interest.

Some of you guys on here seem to easily pull women, so easy come easy go. I have to work for each one and although I have a couple (one pretty good one), I hate to just go NC when its just some fun. Does anyone have any ideas beyond that.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Go NC and she may reach out. BUT, it will probably just be for validation, "Can I still pique his interest??" Hot chicks HATE to get shot down by a guy. Overall, it is definitely low DATING interest on her part but maybe MODERATE platonic interest. Women with high interest will JUMP at the chance to see you and ALWAYS counter if busy--she's not. So, all you have to lose is your pride and dignity and time wasted on her, if any of that is important to you. If it were me, I'd go NC starting now. I NEVER chase.

 

[Andrewdiceclay]

She's either a F girl, has someone else, or is just messing around. She's definitely not serious. No one is ever THAT busy. If she really wanted to see you and was interested, she'd make it happen. Go no contact and see what happens. If she doesn't come back, no loss. If she does, cool, better get it in... but don't stress. Talk to some other women, go on dates, always have others around. Don't let her make you look like a loser by always shooting you down and keeping the upper hand.