A little panicked; going on first date with high value woman, advice please!

[RickR13]

First off I want to say that this is a great site and all if the contributors are fantastic. Thanks so much for all the good advice given here.

I am going on a date with a very successful woman. An accomplished attorney with a PHD, very good looking, etc. we've only briefly talked on the phone and have seen photos if each other. She seems down to earth and genuine, but she's a woman, I know how they can be.

I am a handsome guy, make a decent living and a good person. I just can't get past the thought that this woman is out of my league and I will be a nervous wreck and screw this up! I'm fairly confident in normal situations, but have never experienced something like this before.

I have a couple weeks to prepare, but please, give me some advice that works, and a little confidence boost would help too! I need to shake these bad thoughts and focus on the positive but need your advice.

 

[Vidrio]

Stop thinking that she's out of your league, that's what will mess you up. You have to try and treat her like you would any other broad.

 

[RickR13]

an attorney with a PhD? Trust me, as a lawyer myself there is something seriously wrong with her.

No need to worry, just act calm and do what any good Don Juan does in this conversational situation:

1. let her do most of the talking (like 70%)
2. whenever she ends a sentence, wait four seconds, then ask her about what she just finished talking about. You can go on literally for days like this lol
3. Use lots of me-too statements. Agree with her a lot. On a first date, it's important that she thinks the two of you have a lot in common.
4. Read up on some law stuff, and bring it up. Don't express any opinions in this area, it'll just make you look stupid. But talking about stuff she might like might trick her into thinking you're an interesting, well educated guy (which of course you are anyway, right?).

Ha, yep she's got a PhD too! Wtf!

Thanks for those tips. I work in real estate and talk to attorneys all day. In fact I figure **** out for them all the time so that will help.

 

[yougottaknow90]

Read about law or whatever but don't try to maintain the convo in that direction since 1) you're not an expert on the subject and 2) its boring.. you wanna give her something else to think about than law since she's probably been dealing with that all day.

imo unless she keeps bringing it up, take the convo elsewhere

be her escape, and realize you have greater value than her in other aspects of life.

 

[Down Low]

A male lawyer is a scumbag -- not a high-value man.

You're basically saying that pvssy equals high value, and then pouring sugary syrup over everything else.

BTW, I didn't know there was a Plenty Of Lawyers online dating site.

 

[ScottMustaine]

A male lawyer is a scumbag -- not a high-value man.

You're basically saying that pvssy equals high value, and then pouring sugary syrup over everything else.

BTW, I didn't know there was a Plenty Of Lawyers online dating site.

How come a lawyer is a scumbag ?

 

[RickR13]

I'm not going to pass judgment yet, just trying to go into this without intimidation. I googled where she lives and basically it's a mansion. She most likely earns 3-5 times what I do. I'm thinking this is not in my favor to work out, but at the same time flattered that she would give it a shot. Got nothing to lose right?

 

[RickR13]

So we chatted on the phone yesterday after some brief message exchanges. It went pretty well. We discussed a little about ourselves. Not too much was said in the way of our careers. I held my own quite well I must admit. Had a free flowing convo and agreed to meetup next Thursday for a drink. Im looking forward to using some techniques i learned on this site. I'll keep you updated as to the progress.

Any other advice is appreciated. Thanks!

 

[Bible_Belt]

An accomplished attorney with a PHD, very good looking

Her PhD was in the topic that interests her most; she got the law degree to get a job. Her PhD will be a liberal art. My guess would be social work or maybe psychology. She will enjoy talking about that topic much more than law.

There's a long list of traits that lawyers have in greater proportion to the rest of the population, and none of them are good. Men tend to drink; the women like pills. Depression is common.

 

[RickR13]

An accomplished attorney with a PHD, very good looking

Her PhD was in the topic that interests her most; she got the law degree to get a job. Her PhD will be a liberal art. My guess would be social work or maybe psychology. She will enjoy talking about that topic much more than law.

There's a long list of traits that lawyers have in greater proportion to the rest of the population, and none of them are good. Men tend to drink; the women like pills. Depression is common.

From what I gather she is interested in psychotherapy, so you may be on to something. Hoping the part about depression and pills is off though

 

[JohnChops]

I saw "high quality" and said to myself I had to post in this thread. Dude what makes her better than you? You're the fvcking man but you just don't know it. She's a girl and you're a guy. By default she wants you to lead her. This out of your league bs Is simply bs. Have the mindset of no girl is out of your league.

 

[channingtatum]

The more attractive they are, the more problems/entitlement they usually come with...remember that. Always assume she's got more issues than you can imagine. I like to envision a girl like that as a bomb I need to defuse. Keep that frame and go in slowly. Have you ever dated a really attractive girl, only to find out shes a psycho, and that hotness about her disappears? Remember that. Also, hey, she might be awesome and hot, jackpot. Those types of girls do exist sometimes. If that's the case, just be your usual don juan self and things will work out.

 

[Maximummax]

I am pretty sure she is a BPD case
Just saying

 

[RickR13]

I am pretty sure she is a BPD case
Just saying

Ha Ha you guys are killing me. Can I just at least get a date in and get a feel for this woman? Just to give a little more background we are both in our mid 40's, divorced, have kids similar age. She probably has some issues, but don't we all? I'm just looking for another plate to spin and hopefully some lays. It remains to be seen where this goes but I'm going to try and enjoy the ride the best I can for now.

 

[JohnChops]

Ha Ha you guys are killing me. Can I just at least get a date in and get a feel for this woman? Just to give a little more background we are both in our mid 40's, divorced, have kids similar age. She probably has some issues, but don't we all? I'm just looking for another plate to spin and hopefully some lays. It remains to be seen where this goes but I'm going to try and enjoy the ride the best I can for now.

Yes. Fvck what we say go out and find out what she's all about.

 

[Maximummax]

yes go out and have fun
relax and enjoy the conversation, best of luck and provide the update.

 

[RickR13]

Will do. We pushed it up to this Thursday now so updates will be forthcoming!

 

[RickR13]

Minimize the phone chatting and texting and get her out on a face-to-face meeting. I would wait until WED evening before contacting again and then text her an invite her for a drink: "Hi." Wait for the response...then..."Would you like to join me for a drink or two this Friday night at the Rusty Nail on 3rd street at 8 pm?"

Do not lie or embellish about your career or income. If she's got PHD and makes good money, then she knows she's in the minority. She may even PREFER a guy who makes less money.

Focus instead on what you can bring to the table: great sex; great conversation; confidence, etc.

Yep, I'm trying to keep the contact to a minimum. She already texted me this AM about how she enjoyed the talk and was looking forward to Thursday, and asked that I call her on sometime this week. I waited for over an hour to respond and told her I'd to call her Tuesday night. My plan is to call just to lock down a place and time and get off the phone! I know how women can be. Hoping she doesn't try to drag me into some long conversation. Trying to leave that for the date! Would it be rude for me to only text her on Tuesday night rather than call?

 

[RickR13]

Thanks.

She already hinted on the phone call, so I will do that. Plan to keep it short though. I fell into the trap of letting the last girl I dated draw me into the over texting thing. That amongst other things killed the relationship fast, about 3 months. I was able to sleep with her, but realized I was interested in more. By then it was too late. I'm anxious to use some of the tactics found on this site and experiment.

 

[RickR13]

After you call or text on Tuesday, I would be sure to "go cold" on her until Thursday... that means no text or calls initiated on your part until Thursday. "Hi just wanted to make sure we're still on for tonight." Let her respond.

SO.. if she is showing high interest and texts me since our call last night, would you respond? Our first date is tomorrow night, I dont really want to reply, but dont want it to come off as being inconsiderate.

I understand there isn't a perfect answer, just curious as to how some of you might handle this.