a little help

[1mike82]

ok, so i met this smoking hot bartender a couple weeks back i swooped right in before i left the bar and got her number. called her a couple days later, talked and texted throughout the week. last saturday she suggested i come back up to her job for a drink while she was working. the night went great got to talk to her throughout night at length. so i set it up for us to go out this past monday. took her to the city had a great time, so did she. made my move and kissed her in the middle of date, wasnt a long kiss but it went well. had good convo all night and seemed to hit it off. got a small kiss when dropping her off at home. she texted me this shortly later....

mike,u are so much fun, and a great guy, i cant thank u enough for making me feel so comfortable!! cant wait to see u again! call me tommarow night!

so the next day i shot her a text sayin something that was a joke from the night before. she responded back a short message and an lol. i sent another text shortly after but no response. i called her last night like she had said to but no answer. i havent talked to her at all today,i dont want to be to overly aggressive. in the past couple of weeks she has been the type of girl to wait a long time in between responses to texts, and has told me she would call and hasnt on a couple occasions.she just seems distant since then. my basic reason for this post my game is a little rusty i was married for 7 years, and been out of the circuit for a while. any thoughts on how to play this. i dont want to f#ck it up

 

[window]

"i dont want to f#ck it up"...here is your problem. You need to relax and not try and get what you have with her to any place in particular else you will tighten up and it will just get worse. So enjoy her whatever happens. I'd leave it for a week and call her. She may contact you though. But still leave it for a week. Incidently what did you say to her when she text you about been comfortable ? I think this is where you may have turned her off. Why would you text her if you were going to call her that night ?

 

[1mike82]

i just said the feelings mutual i had a good time. talk to u tommarow. i know i prolly shouldnt have texted her the next day, but all throughout the previous week we had texted regularly. like i said ive been out of the loop for awhile, i was like 21 the last time i was dating, rusty at best

 

[window]

so what did you text the next day ? just trying to see what happened as you had her in a good space.

 

[1mike82]

when we went out monday we met up with my friend and his date. me and my friend whose name is keith, have had an inside joke going for years. someone years ago thought my name was mel, not mike. so for years when he sees me hes like whats up mel. i call him mel too. i know it sounds stupid but its been going on for years. the girl i was with thought the whole thing was a riot. she laughed all night about it.so the next day i texted her its just mel saying hi. she wrote back lmao. then i texted whatcha up 2. never heard back since. sorry for the long explaination, i know it sounds totally stupid.

 

[window]

hey man I dont think it is stupid at all, humour is a good thing. she sounds a bit hot and cold which is not a good thing as you are looking for consistency. Your high interest makes it difficult I know. I'd just chill and not check in. Give her a call Sunday night and ask her out again and gauge her response. If she doesnt answer or doesnt call you back just forget her. Also if she asks you to come into the bar I wouldnt do that. You still could be ok but dont worry too much if it doesnt work out.

 

[1mike82]

thanks for ur responses man, this is all new to me again, its been about 9 years, im just tryin to hit my stride, most of the *****s that i meet dont play these stupid ass games they just want their back blown out. this is the first one playin games that ive come across in years

 

[3countriesPlan]

Its about cooperation, you go ahead and do what a man is supposed to do which is act as a catalyst for the both of you. If she isn't cooperating just go find another one. There are too many other ones out there to get pissed about one. Ya hard to do but its the right choice. Pull back and pursue other plates and she'll get back to you when she is ready to shed her mediocrity.

 

[Desdinova]

"i dont want to f#ck it up"...here is your problem.

Window is spot on. After getting out of a 7-year long marriage, you're going to fvck up in your game. If you don't practice your guitar for 7 years, you're going to play like 5hit.

Just get back out there, get some practice in, and get your bearings of being back in the game. That's what I had to do after being out of it for 8 years. It took me a good 6 months to a year to become comfortable with it again.