A little help on a "technicality"

[*mattster]

first of all, hey everyone. been checking out the forums for a while now, just registered 'cause i need some "pro" input not exactly new to this stuff, but i have stumbled upon a particular situation for the first time.

how do y'all stand on calling someone when you didn't get the number from her personally?

this is a someone who works for a company that contracts our architectural firm for some of their projects.
we've so far spent 2 full work days together, really hit it off, joking, laughing, me negging her, some kino. went for a cup of coffee (kinda not allowed to do that during work, since we're both pretty young - 25)... the strange thing to me was that she (knowing me for only like a few hours) was completely open to discussing her family matters, social and work life. she was also SMILING THE ENTIRE TIME (never ever have i met someone who could match my sunny disposition ). when we parted, she said if we ever need someone to help us out in the field like she did that day, to call her - and nobody but her :nono: .

so... obviously the IOI's were there, but i was thrown off my game with her attitude, really - i want to kill myself for not getting her number then- ... always smiling. and I'M SURE i left a good impression.

i had some things to clear up with one of her coworkers so i went to the firm where she works, but it was her day off, so i just asked for her (office) phone, found out it was not a direct line to her, and also got her cell.

i can justify calling her at her office, but would prefer to not do that, in order to not make her uncomfortable infront of her coworkers, since it's not a direct line, and someone else will answer the phone.

once again, i'm not afc (anymore), got spinning plates, always busy with my life (i'm an avid sailor, so i spend most of my weekends on the coast - sailing really gets you laid if you're any good at it and have a sailboat to take women to). i've been an aspiring DJ for over a year now, and have not met anyone even close to how cool she is!!

so... what do you think, can i call her on her personal cell? or try the office first?

*m out

 

[miba]

Call her up and say you wanna get some coffee again.

If she asks where you got her number just tell her the truth. You came in when she was away for work so they gave you her number. She prob ask wont though.

Simple

 

[Stuntmann]

Don't assume it's freaky to call her on her cell, nor that she wants to know where you got it. Unless of course she asks about it, for which you have a perfect excuse.

 

[Randallpink83]

...ughh she will ask by the way. In fact one of the first things she will be asking is how did you get my number...

 

[*mattster]

thinking about calling her up, saying "hey its mattster, i have just enough time to grab a cup in the city, join me."

(deep down i knew i have to do this, and should have already, she probably knows i got her number from her coworker anyway, they share an office)

taking a dive in the deep end, will report!

*m

 

[Fisherman]

Look at it this way; If the situation was the opposite, and you got a call from her without giving her your number, and she asks you if you would like to grab a cup of coffe.. would that feel strange?

She may even be flattered, maybe her colleague that gave you the number have already told her that you where there looking for her and that he/she gave you her number? She is probably sitting there all excited, wondering why you haven't called her already!!

Just be casual about it, it's really not strange at all if you call her and you shouldn't be nervous or feel awkward about it!

Good luck and tell us how it went!

 

[SaucyBoy]

This is tricky. You don't want to look desperate, chasing her. She will be impressed more than you know if you found her number. This one is easy to blow. I'd have some reservations about pushing this further. You can see the mixed message you are sending here right off the bat.

 

[Obsidian]

If I were you, I'd probably say something defensive right at the start

"Hey HB, this is mattster. I hope you don't mind my calling your cell; your secretary gave me the # when I tried calling your office"

that lets her know that you recognize it's a little weird...but if you apologize first then you can't really be a stalker, and you have a decent excuse

Then proceed promptly toward "Would you be up for Starbucks tomorrow night around 8?" or whatever



And in the future, USE THIS LINE WHENEVER YOU'VE ISOLATED A GIRL WHO DIGS YOU:

"Hey, it was good hanging out with you. I'll cya later" Then start to leave but turn back around and say, "Oh hey, why don't I get your cell # in case I want to call you sometime?"

I've recently decided that this particular phrasing is just about perfect, especially for a beginner. Takes most of the nervousness factor out of #-closing, and also sounds fairly smooth.

 

[*mattster]

called, just said i was going for a quick cup of coffee at the end of a loooong work week and that she should join me. she said she was sorry but couldn't make it today, that she has some out-of-town family stuff she needs to take care of, so she wasn't in the city anymore. all i said was "that's alright, have fun", she then insisted she would call next week so we can get together... not sure i really like that, but hey, there will be others...

thanks for your advice, will post if she calls/we get together.

 

[*mattster]

If I were you, I'd probably say something defensive right at the start

"Hey HB, this is mattster. I hope you don't mind my calling your cell; your secretary gave me the # when I tried calling your office"

that lets her know that you recognize it's a little weird...but if you apologize first then you can't really be a stalker, and you have a decent excuse.

thanks for this, i usually do number close in the manner you described, but she (her attitude, smile, personality, everything) caught me off guard... deer in headlights effect if you know what i mean, hasn't happened to me lately.

but i actually don't really care if it's wierd or not, it's just a cup of coffee, it's not like we hadn't had one together before (although during work) and i think if during the followup (i.e. the "date") i don't think it was wierd, then she probably won't either. she's just very different from the girls i'm used to (grew up in a small town, is genuinely friendly...umm... OTOH maybe just towards me... I wonder... yeah, it's probably me )

 

[Obsidian]

It wasn't weird asking her out. It was just a little weird to call her # even tho she hadn't given it to you. But nice attempt. If she doesn't ever get ahold of you, you might always try again in a couple weeks if you decide she's worth goin' for again. Girls don't generally call guys. It usually takes ballz to set up a date.

 

[*mattster]

as far as i know women she'll either text me or "forget" to call.

anyway, heading to the clubs now to take my mind off of this past week...

if/when the situation progresses, i'll post an update

thanks again

*m out

 

[Stuntmann]

I think she "flirted" with you, or faked it, because of her job.


Don't frent. It's common. It's a learning experience.

 

[Obsidian]

as far as i know women she'll either text me or "forget" to call.

Wow, you're definitely learning.