A hot customer was neg hitting on me. Did I screw up?

[skinnydart]

I had this hot chick at my college that I had never met before come up to me today (she was a customer in my office, I'm a student worker) and tell me to my face that the kakis and polo shirt I was wearing made me look like I was still in high school, (I'm a junior in college btw) and that I didn't look my age. I normally wear nice dress slacks, button-down shirt, and leather jacket but today I was just going casual, with the sweatshirt and polo stuff. Was she just talking bs or was there any validity to that, about the polos and hs?

Man, I was so surprised that I was actually neg hitted by a chick I didn't know exactly how to respond. I just laid into her with tons of neg hits of my own, bringing out all the sarcasm I had in me. The other people in the office were looking at me like "What did you just say?". Like for some reason the subject was brought up (by another co-worker) about some girl that I had dated in the past and she interjects "Aww, he's started dating?... that's so cute" and then later she says "So when you go out on these dates, do you both walk or do your parents drive you?" and then "well at least I look like I'm in college". Man I wanted to strangle her! So when she was sitting in my seat when I came back from the other room I told her there was an empty spot on the floor out in the hall she could use but "that's my seat", and also later hinted that she was a spoiled brat, and when she tried to take a pepermint out of the bowl I told her those weren't for students (with a dead serious expression on my face the whole time cause I was kinda mad). I also made use of the fact that she was a freshman (vs. me a junior). So she goes on and on telling my co-worker about how her last bf broke up with her. I just say "O really? Huh, I wonder why he would do that?"

After she left the other co-worker was telling me how she was so flirting with me. I'm like "What?!" That was the last thing on my mind at the time. What's the best way to deal with that? I stayed calm and didn't really talk to her unless I was neg hitting (or insulting) her. The only question I really asked her was if she was an only child (another neg hit). She would just look at me with "ur so dead" eyes whenever I made a comment. Actually, the whole convo with her started with my boss walking by and seeing me working with a hot chick he jokingly tells me "no, you can't ask her out too, loud enough so she can hear" So according to the others in the room I missed a girl's "interest" signs and kinda screwed things up? What should I have done?

 

[Mojo604]

Thats one twisted way to show interest.... what s *****.
hmm...

 

[manicmaximum]

you know what dart, if those pics of yourself you posted last time are still an accurate representation of you.. i dont think she was hitting on you. i know you wont take offense to that, since none was meant.

she may see you as an easy target and is playing with your head. i think this is one of those instances where it couldve been *prevented* with good body language and a general i-dont-give-a-****-what-you-say attitude

ok but that doesn't actually help. i used to get into things like this all the time, its basically a match of wits. each person is trying to see if he can verbally best the other person...it escalates until someone loses

lol something i just have to throw in.
"So when you go out on these dates, do you both walk or do your parents drive you?"
well we WERE going to go horseback riding, but someone already rented you out.


***cliffs notes for the lazy
C&F the shyt out of this biatch! dont let her get away with disrespecting you

 

[felony]

Yeah i'd say she was interested in you. Because i simply don't know any *****es that would just go insult a complete stranger for no reason. Especially if they are on their own, without some kind of audience. Without All her hoes to back her up. And the fact that you don't think she was a nut case.

Sounds to me you just got shook in a way similar to how a girl may feel when a guy plays some ****y / funny , neg hits on her rather than the nice guy compliments she was initially expecting from you.

But perhaps as u regained your composure and delivered some return neg hits the tables were slightly turned. Although i don't think your performance was 100% [and hey it never will be] i can give you another angle u might want to think about that might help you. But don't feel down, chalk this up as experience, and next time you're faced with this situation hopefully you will be able to recognise it for what it is and then take fully advantage of it.

At some time during the conversation, i would somehow slip in an invitation to perhaps resolve your differences over a game of mini putt or whatever. Just something, whereby the winner is correct. Turn it around from the neg hitting stand off kinda mood into a more playful experience.

If you see this girl out, make sure you get talking to her and close. In these cases you will at least get a better understanding of her intentions. Heck you might even go so far with her that her aggressive attitude translates to the bedroom and then won't you be happy you followed up.

Take it easy. f.

 

[MacDiddy]

Your negs of her were pretty weak, but I guess you already knew that... I hazard to guess she had you on the defensive... was it not always like this? did you have her reacting to you?

I've internalized a few negs which should put her in her place almost instantly... first by not responding to a chick on topic, but introducing a totally new neg. "Hey do you know you have a bit of a moustache...."

It took me a while to get use to totally ignoring a chicks neg and firing back with my own.. ...

 

[skinnydart]

you know what dart, if those pics of yourself you posted last time are still an accurate representation of you.. i dont think she was hitting on you.

Gee thanks. Actually, I look a lot better than I did in those pics. New suit of clothes (that she evidently didn't like), a new haircut, started working out a little, and got rid of the acne. I tell myself that as well sometimes, but then I just look around and see all these guys uglier than me who have pretty cute girlfriends. I mean heck, the "co-worker" I mentioned is 27 years old, divorced, and overweight and he has these nice college chicks actually asking to sleep with him!

I know my return neg hits I wrote down sounded lame, but the ones I actually used were so much better, I just couldn't remember the exact things I said.

 

[alphawolfx]

shoulda told her....

"well that's good, so when i'm thirty i'll still look like i'm 20... you on the other hand, i feel bad for.

hahah i did that one today... TOTAL reversal, since she made fun of me for being 21 (she's 23, and awears it makes her so much better)

 

[DJLegion]

skinnydart, clear up your pm box.

 

[StringShredder]

Umm, she wasn't neg-hitting, but flat-out insulting.

A neg hit would be if she gave you some underhanded compliment. E.g. if it was something about those khahkis and polo shirt, it might be. "Hey, great casual look created by your well-matched khakhis and polo shirt. But you should use a belt - and a nice one - if you are going to tuck the shirt in like that!". Or something like that, perhaps. If you were a metrosexual guy who is full of himself about how he dresses, it might work on you. You'd see the chick as someone who has a clue about clothes who actually appreciates what you are doing and has an opinion about it.

This chick here was definitely AFC, if that was her way of showing interest. She could only get away with her behavior because she's a chick, and guys are not trained to handle that. If you insult a woman in the same way, you're history, because she's probably heard it all from every kind of schmuck.

 

[StringShredder]

"you have a moustache"

Hmm, you could be nastier about that. How about:

"There is a laser hair removal clinic down the street that has a great deal right now for upper lip, plus some other body part of your choice. Whaddya think?"

Ugh!

 

[alphawolfx]

no, she was neghitting you

she likes you and was busting your balls... she must read david deangelo... lol

anyways, bro don't get phased out by it, just have fun

she LIKES you, don't get mad, just turn everything around

and tell her that you can see right through her, that she's so into you that she has to be sarcastic about it... you know that she really wants to get married and have like 2.5 kids with you, but i can't marry you if you don't start being sweeter to me"

turn half of the neghits around
and take the others even FURTHER and THEN turn them around

for example
"Aww, he's started dating?... that's so cute"
response: "it's okay sweetheart, you don't have to be jealous, one day you'll go through puberty, too, and start having emotions for boys... did you ever hear the story about the birds and the bees? etc..."


"So when you go out on these dates, do you both walk or do your parents drive you?"
your response: "actually no, we get on my skateboard and ride all the way to the movies. isn't that what you do?" OR "actually my gramma drives us, because i'm SO SCARED to be alone with a girl... they try to take advantage of me"

and then "well at least I look like I'm in college".
response: "holy ****, you're in college? man... i thought you were WAY older.. you don't look a DAY under 27... you age fast, huh?"

"kakis and polo shirt I was wearing made me look like I was still in high school"
response: "damn, and i was trying SO hard to impress you, too."
OR "but my tightie-whities make me look more mature, though right? i thought girls in college LOVE tightie-whities!" (assuming, of course, you wear boxers)

DON'T GET NASTY ABOUT IT... KEEP IT FUN!!!

 

[StringShredder]

How about this response.

"Girl, girl, girl. Look, you have it all wrong. If you are interested in a guy who appears to be full of himself, you can't just try to insult him flat out. That might just put him on the defensive. Here is the right way to do it; you compliment him on something, but then take a little something back. Like for instance 'Great casual look with the polo shirt and khakis. Oh but the pants are a little short; you might want to try riding them down lower or something'. Those pants are not gonna come off by you insulting them, you know what I mean? *wink* Stick with me girl, and I will turn you into a player. Now you wanna turn around and try marching in through that door again with a different approach?"

 

[alphawolfx]

correct attitude StSh, but a little long... most people don't think in LONG paragraphs... but if you string a bunch of little comebacks together, that can work

 

[wind20mph]

haha. That was close. Say, you are interested eh? Where I came from, customers are great people to practice conversations. Its not negative to me. Its great tool to be used later to my advantage.