When you were told you were a good conversationalist, how much of the time were you listening as opposed to talking? Were you listening something like 80%? Cause then, yes, that's not going to turn a chick on. Someone telling us things they already know doesn't make anyone feel aroused. In my guide here, I advised listening and sharing equally, which means we talk about ourselves 50% of the time, if not more.
I've found that when I spend half the time learning about them and the other half showing them who I am goes over very well.
You said you became more selfish. What do you mean by that? That you'd hog the entire conversation and not listen at all? Cause I don't see that going over very well.