A good first date plan (field tested)

MindOverMatter

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DISCLAIMER - This was field tested by your friendly neighbourhood MindOverMatter and found to work a numerous amount of times. However, while it has worked for me time after time, it may not work for everyone (even tho I personally think it should). This may not be the BEST first date idea, but I've had really great success with it, and have escalated it into first date sex several times, so I feel compelled to share it.

The date is divided into 3 time periods:

1.) The comedy club period.
2.) Going out for drinks period.
3.) Isolation period.

I will explain the workings of each period and why they are necessery.

1.) The Comedy Club.

If you meet girls via cold approaches, the first date can be very stressful for the girl, as she has just met you. Unless she's a total sl*t (and if she is, you don't need this tip), her defenses will be up and she will be nervous. After all, she just met you, and this is the time she gets to know you. For the fellow psychologists out there, her brain will be releasing mass amounts of cholecystokinin and dynorphins.

The same thing can happen to you if you have recently kickstarted your game or your game is not that strong and you are intimidated by her looks etc.

This is why the comedy club is so essential. When you watch stand up comedians, both of you are guaranteed a laugh. If the comedian is good, his jokes will make you cry from laughter. If he is bad, you will laugh at how bad the jokes are. Laughter is like a drug. When you laugh, your brain releases mass amounts of endorphins, and you become happy and relaxed. This is the best way to eliminate the anxiety of the first date in the girl or yourself (some might argue that liquor is better, but that's weak game).

Another reason the comedy club is so great is because girls associate their feelings during the date with whoever they were out with, rather then the events of the date. The comedians will make her laugh, but the next day when she looks back, she will probably forget most of their jokes, but one thing she will remember is you, and how much fun she had being around you. Staying in her head after the first date is over is KEY.

Tickets - $6-12 each.


2.) Going out for drinks.

This is the chemistry stage. She is very relaxed now (after laughing for 1-2 hrs straight), and both of you will have a natural high. This is where you take her to a nice martini lounge where you can sit down and have drinks and talk. A coffee shop will do if you don't want to spend too much money on the date.

This is where you establish a connection with her. You will talk to her, find out as much as you can about her.

Player Supreme explains this really well.:

When you talk to her get her to talk about herself. Dig not only into her life story but her dreams and her weak areas as well:

Get her to talk about her childhood.
Get her to talk about where she is going in life.
Get her to talk the challenges she had to overcome in life.
Get her to talk about her enemies.
Get her to talk about the people she admires.
As she is blathering on and on, your controlling that conversation and getting the keys to the land of P*ssy!

What are the woman’s dreams and aspirations?

Does she want to be perceived as someone who can overcome anything? This will tell you how to butter her buns with just words. “Yeah Susan, you seem to me to be they type of girl who…blah blah blah…yall have seen that phrase before on laying on a compliment. This is where you learn how to manipulate with it.
Through this, you learn about her, and what type of girl she is and how to handle her. You also give her a chance to tell you her story, and this makes girls feel really safe/happy, because it shows that you are interested in getting to know what type of person she is. We all amazing life stories that we never get to share with people we date/screw because they never ask or bring up the subject.

Picture this scenario with reversed roles, where the girl is trying to learn every detail about your personality and loves listening about your life. You can't help but feel good and appreciated.

You make her feel like her life is interesting, and that hooks her.

Find out how she sees herself, how others see her, how she wants others to see her. Find out her embarassing moment, and share your own. Discover common interests, whether it's the way you two think, the music you listen to, the childhoods you had, etc.

Establish a connection. Make her think in the back of her head that you may possibly be a male version of her. Responses like "me too", "I'm exactly the same way", "I know I have the same problem", "wow you think just like me", work GREAT. Forget that bullsh!t about how opposites attract. People want full compatibility when it comes to being involved with someone. The more she has in common with you, the more she is compatible, the more she is hooked on you.

Money spent - $10-20, $3-8 if you went out for coffee.

3.) Isolation period / kino / kiss stage (homerun?).

We are nearing the ending of the date. By now she should be feeling very euphoric from the previous two activities. If you have executed step 2 properly, she will feel very comfortable with you, and she will know that there is a connection. By this time, she is very relaxed, and wants kino.

This is where you isolate her. In my city, there is a really nice park downtown which overlooks another city accross the river (looks amazing at night) and happens to be near the comedy club and lounges that I frequent on dates. Your location may not be as great, but the key is to take the girl for a walk and isolate her.

During this time we'll start walking and I'll offer her my arm, and she'll hold on to it. We'll have light conversation, and during this time I'll start speaking in a lower tone of voice, and focus on getting her into a sexual state. For more info on this, read the Gunwitch Method (it's linked in the bible).

Now is the part where I go for the kiss (this is for people who have problems initiating the kiss).

During this time, I either take the girl and sit down close to her on one of the park benches, or I go to this walkway overlooking the river and I pull her close to me with my hands on her hips (I prefer the 2nd one). I am near the kiss zone now, but I'm not kissing her right away. I'm still talking to her, in a low voice, and having great EC. She knows she is gonna be kissed, but she doesn't know when. The key here is to make her wait for it, and anticipate it. Since she knows it's coming, and is anticipating it, wondering when you will kiss her, in her head, she wants to kiss you even more. I've had a few dates where the girl couldn't wait and was the one to initiate the kiss.

When I finally decide to kiss her, I use one of my hands to brush her hair behind her ear, then put the hand on her cheek, close my eyes and go for the kiss. Proceed to make out. Use your hands while you're kissing her. Caress her cheeks, run them over her back, slide them over her hips / waist, move them up towards her breasts but don't go for them yet, make her anticipate it and want it. In other words, kino the hell out of her.

This is where you decide whether or not to take it to the next level, and isolate her even more (i.e. take her back to your place). This requires a certain magnitude of balls, since some girls will get offended thinking you see them as a sl*t that f*cks on the first date, or that you are trying to use her. So this is what I advise.

If you are making out with her and you are getting crazy signals that she is horny (in my case, the girl would kino me like crazy, run her hands over my buddy, feel my abs, ass or the boner that's pressing against her body). One of the girls I went out with pulled the smoothest move ever on me. While we were making out, she unbuttoned my shirt without me even noticing it, and I only found this out after I felt her hands sliding up and down my chest.

if your make-out session is evolving like this, suggest that you go someplace that's more quiet and then go to either her place or yours (I don't have sex in the car because it's uncomfortable [i'm 6'2] and somewhat sleazy)

however, If you are making out with her and she is enjoying it, but is somewhat conservative (i.e. she lets you kino her but does not return it as eagerly as she recieves it), then end the date like that unless you wanna be ballsy and take a risk. By ending the date on a high note like that, your chances of screwing her on the 2nd date become much higher then your chances of screwing her on the first date. What you chose to do here is up to you.

Good luck! Hope you enjoy this method as much as I have enjoyed developing it.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Combining humor, relaxation/isolation has worked for me in the past.
 

MindOverMatter

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what if your under 21?
If you can't drink legally, go to a nice place where you can sit down and talk. Coffee shops are overused (but if you decide to go to one, find a really nice classy lounge one), malt shops are great, as are ice cream parlors, etc. There is this cake lounge in my city that I sometimes take dates to, it's awesome. Dim lights, candles on every table, 20 different cakes to chose from, milk shakes etc and it's very cheap.

edit - basically learn your city inside out, and scout good areas for future dates, they will come in handy. I've had girls tell me so many times that I know all the coolest places in the city.
 

blinkwatt

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mindovermatter you never cease to amaze me. i have considered ice cream parlors before,there are quiet a few in town,very classy ones.thanks for the input.
 

Slickster

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Great post MOM!

I love the Player Supreme stuff too. Although he stirred up a lot of shyt around here he had some great advice on how to get into a chicks head didn't he?

Keep 'em coming.
 

aftershock

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Excellent post.

Anyone whos moaning about how this forums going downhill should read this.
 

drixsa

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the date idea(s) was excellent.

though when you follow too many rules as how to approach the conversation to get her into you i always start to cringe. This is life we are talking about here planning conversation and or responses is pathetic and very AFC.
 

Bradshaw

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Excellent post.

One thing to watch out for though.... If the girl comes across as easily offended (or just too classy), make sure that you go on a night that doesn't have a comedian with too much 'toilet humor'.
 

MindOverMatter

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Originally posted by drixsa
the date idea(s) was excellent.

though when you follow too many rules as how to approach the conversation to get her into you i always start to cringe. This is life we are talking about here planning conversation and or responses is pathetic and very AFC.
I guess I should have explained this. The conversation is NOT planned. they are not rules, they are basic guidelines.

You don't have a list of things written on your palm about which you will talk about. You just have one general idea in your head about which you will talk about - HER. the questions themselves are not that important, when you start talking to her, they will be coming up in your head one by one.

as for the responses, the goal is not to make you use scripted responses. it's to teach people that you can use something besides "yeah" "yes" "i agree". instead of just saying "yeah", you can say "Yeah I agree, i'm the exact same way".

The goal is to establish a connection through words and make her think you are just like her (note - don't overdo it with the responses). You are not planning responses, you are just being aware of which responses are good, and which ones are awesome. The one you decide to use will pop in your head when the situation comes, it wont be planned a day in advance.

As for the AFC part, the term is so overused. I have posted a field tested tip that has allowed me to get laid on the first date SEVERAL times. Obviously if it works, there is nothing "average" or "frustrated" or "chumpish" about it.
 

h2o

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i really like this tip. especially about the comedy club and knowing the ins-and-outs of your town.

i think at a comedy show, it could also help in that you will probably subconciously pickup on how conservative the girl is depending on what jokes she may laugh at...i've found this is a good way to read people, since laughter is one of those forms of free expression where people really let their true selves out and usually don't fake anything.

by the way, i had a question. you mentioned the places are all pretty close, so do you drive from place A to B to C? i'll try to find places as close together as possible so driving won't be as necessary, but do you think that makes a difference?

i've just noticed in my own experience, that when i'm driving in a car with a girl - though i honestly have been in such a situation only 2-3 times, that while driving (because you're really not focused on each other completely), it sort of kills the moment. walking together while holding hands would just keep the mood flowing much better. what do you suggest? or rather, what's worked for you?

also, how do you keep it going in the car, while driving?

thanks.
 

MindOverMatter

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that's the thing. my city has an awesome downtown layout. it has pretty much everything in one small area. lounges, clubs, restaurants, comedy clubs, parks, ice cream parlors, malt shops, coffee shops etc. so to answer your question, A B and C are all within the walking distance of each other. Some people will have a more difficult time then I do because of how their city is structured.

I park in a garage, and from the on, until the end of the date, we'll walk everywhere. once it's over, I'll either give her a ride home, or will go to one of our places.

Try to learn your city. Women love a guy that knows all the best places in town that no one has ever heard of. The more you know your city, the easier it will be for you to arrange this.

Find some comedy clubs, and then scout the area around them. Find out where the good lounges are, where you can sit down and talk comfortably. Find some good locations to isolate - parks, monuments, tourist attractions, bridges, etc are all great places and I'm sure you can find some within walking distance. Having to drive from A to B to C does kill the mood.

At least try to have A & B within walking distance of each other. Try to find a nice liunge type place near the comedy club (and park a bit far away). That way, when you are walking back to your car, you can start your kino up (hand holding, arm crook, whatever) and then proceed to isolate inside the car.
 

DJohnson

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The plan is a good one. Just make sure there is teasing going on between the two of you at some point during the date, I don't mean jerk funny, I don't really even mean ****y funny. Just playful teasing.

****y funny does work for some girls for which more nice guy approaches won't, but its such a numbers game. Calibrate carefully! Start with "confidant funny" and then move on to ****y funny if she is REALLY into the interaction and giving as good as shet gets.

If she doesn't seem into
it, lay back a little, but it might just mean she is shy, in which case you need to test the physical waters with kino. If this goes well, no more need for any silly games. End the coccky funny go to rapport and more kino. Seductive looks in your eyes from time to time, etc. Try to extract, be smooth slow calm and cool.

Peace
 

MindOverMatter

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Originally posted by DJohnson
The plan is a good one. Just make sure there is teasing going on between the two of you at some point during the date, I don't mean jerk funny, I don't really even mean ****y funny. Just playful teasing.

****y funny does work for some girls for which more nice guy approaches won't, but its such a numbers game. Calibrate carefully! Start with "confidant funny" and then move on to ****y funny if she is REALLY into the interaction and giving as good as shet gets.

If she doesn't seem into
it, lay back a little, but it might just mean she is shy, in which case you need to test the physical waters with kino. If this goes well, no more need for any silly games. End the coccky funny go to rapport and more kino. Seductive looks in your eyes from time to time, etc. Try to extract, be smooth slow calm and cool.

Peace
I personally don't use C&F. The reason is, if the girl puts you on a pedestal or feels you are better then her, you C&Fing her or teasing her can make her feel insecure or uncomfortable. C&F/teasing only works on girls that see themselves your equal, or your better. So if that's the case, you are 100% correct

In my case, a lot of the girls I date tend to put me on a pedestal due to my body, so I don't really need to use C&F or tease her.
 

Heretolearn

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Ansolutely Beautiful!
thank you!

*gentlemen you do not have to copy this plan but look at the principles and smoothness!
 

MightyMate

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I think its not good idea. Why do You think girl wants to spend 4h with You on 1st date? Sounds silly.
You never spend on 1st date more than 1h. Gil also wont loose full day with You. And You dont needd comedy club. Just be funny and ****y and do kino at the drink date. Going to chill place for a drink, beeing funny,****y,kino is enaugh. You dont need any other places, specially that it wont work. Its as silly as going to cinema at 1st date. You just sit nexxto each other but dont speak. Thats not what date is about.
 
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NINJA PIMP

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Originally posted by MindOverMatter
I personally don't use C&F. The reason is, if the girl puts you on a pedestal or feels you are better then her, you C&Fing her or teasing her can make her feel insecure or uncomfortable. C&F/teasing only works on girls that see themselves your equal, or your better. So if that's the case, you are 100% correct

In my case, a lot of the girls I date tend to put me on a pedestal due to my body, so I don't really need to use C&F or tease her.
Exactly!

Sure you are the prize, but you don't want to beat her over the head with it. Seduction is about mutual value escalation and you want her to feel high on herself too. I think this site stresses too much of the jerk/badboy image where we have to put women down to get revenge on past one-itis. It may be bad to put them on pedestals, but it's just as detrimental to put yourself on one. You need to see eye to eye in order to have a gratifying transaction. Seduction is not vengeance, it's about getting what you want and at the same time, making women feel more free to experience mind-boggling pleasure, physically and energetically. This way everyone wins.

Bravo on another great post, MoM
 

wheelin&dealin

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My problem with this tip is that it is too formal for a first date. You have to buy tickets and be there at a certain time. I'd rather just relax and go have a drink with the girl for an hour or so. Also, if the guy sucks it reflects badly on you.
 
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