A Girl's Night Out

[joekerr31]

Get used to it man.

The last chick I was seeing was on her last strike for getting too jealous when we went out, thinking I was trying to fukk all of these other women. Next thing you know, LITERALLY, the next thing you know, she started distancing herself from me. Come to find out it was exactly as I suspected.....she had a new boyfriend.

I was REALLY pissed at myself for allowing a chick (I didn't actually allow it so much as overlooked it and blew it off) to throw a fit every time she had a few drinks, then I turn around and I'm not even getting a piece of a$$ anymore???? WTF???

That's women, and that's why you should do whatever the hell you want in a casual relationship without regard to the other persons feelings. Hell, if she's gonna ACCUSE you of fukking everything on two legs you might as well be doing it!

ok, im getting really confused here. in another thread you talk about how all your friends are women. yet here your saying stuff like "thats women" (ie. they will use you and toss you when they have a new man).

how can you have THAT view of women and then say that most of your friends are women?!

 

[cordoncordon]

You can't joekerr. That's why I said in the other thread that there is something more going on than what he is telling us. I just can't imagine any man I know, from friends to family members, wanting to or actually spending that much time with that many women and actually being proud of it.

It makes no sense whatsoever. Even if he was trying to get into each of these girls pants, it still makes no sense to me.

 

[mrRuckus]

Her friend from New York is visiting her for four days. Her friend is single and young (25). Tonight they are going out to a dance club with another girl whom they know who is also not dating anyone. This is all just fine. I understand that I shouldn't ever discourage or show any type of insecurities regarding her going out with her friends.

My girlfriend is 27. We've discussed that going to a club while in a relationship is unacceptable. She agrees wholeheartedly that her man is more important than silly things like that (she doesn't really want to go to them anyway, though). Therefore she does not go to clubs, and I do not go to clubs. However, bars and restaurants and similar tamer environments are usually fine.

There's no reason why a taken woman needs to go to a club if she values your relationship. A club is an inappropriate setting for non-single people. Hell I kinda think it is for even single people but I digress...

We also do not go out with opposite gendered friends except in groups. There's just no real need for it and it's hardly an inconvience for the peace of mind of the other.

I've been taking it upon myself to talk to women about these things before agreeing to enter into a LTR so when these situations do come up they have no right to be mad or argue about things later because they already agreed to our relationship conditions. If she wants to change the conditions then our LTR is null and void.

None of it has to do with controlling or possessiveness or thinking a woman is going to cheat on me. It's just inappropriate behavior or situations that neither I nor my girl should be involving ourselves in to begin with and if they think it's unacceptable then we will not be in a relationship.

 

[drmeathead]

yeah i that talk too with my ex. i didnt go to clubs and neither did she. however she trying argunig that college house parties were ok. she said that is the same for underage people as me going to a bar. i felt that some house parties were nothing more than clubs. she said just frat house parties were. the first night she goes out with her girls at school, she tells me about this one party she wanted to go to...a tv party because it was like the parties on tv. loud music and lights and lots of people. that was ok. i really wouldnt have cared too much but i held up to my end of the no clubs. plus i didnt trust her for ****. i wised up and dumped her like a month later. no trust = no relationship. you just cant do it.

 

[STR8UP]

ok, im getting really confused here. in another thread you talk about how all your friends are women. yet here your saying stuff like "thats women" (ie. they will use you and toss you when they have a new man).

how can you have THAT view of women and then say that most of your friends are women?!

What does this have to do with having female friends? Am I missing something here?

If you aren't in a relationship with a woman many of her behaviors are inconsequential. When you are dating one it becomes a different story. You can't even compare the two.

Are you asking me how I can be friends with women when I feel that they often make poor decisions? Are you chastising your buddy when he is out trying to get laid and you know he has a girlfriend at home? No, you are probably high fiving him.

When you are FRIENDS with someone it's a completely different dynamic than being in a relationship.

 

[Latinoman]

My girlfriend is 27. We've discussed that going to a club while in a relationship is unacceptable. She agrees wholeheartedly that her man is more important than silly things like that (she doesn't really want to go to them anyway, though). Therefore she does not go to clubs, and I do not go to clubs. However, bars and restaurants and similar tamer environments are usually fine.

There's no reason why a taken woman needs to go to a club if she values your relationship. A club is an inappropriate setting for non-single people. Hell I kinda think it is for even single people but I digress...

We also do not go out with opposite gendered friends except in groups. There's just no real need for it and it's hardly an inconvience for the peace of mind of the other.

I've been taking it upon myself to talk to women about these things before agreeing to enter into a LTR so when these situations do come up they have no right to be mad or argue about things later because they already agreed to our relationship conditions. If she wants to change the conditions then our LTR is null and void.

None of it has to do with controlling or possessiveness or thinking a woman is going to cheat on me. It's just inappropriate behavior or situations that neither I nor my girl should be involving ourselves in to begin with and if they think it's unacceptable then we will not be in a relationship.

This is exactly how I see things too IF in a committed long term relationship. I don't prohibit anyone from doing anything. But I made somethings clear and I'm willing to abide by the same standards. If she decides to change those standards, then I will change mine too (and her future in the relationship would be over - I might keep her around for a while but there won't be a "future").


I strongly believe on BOTH stating what's acceptable for the relationship and what's not BEFORE getting in the committed relationship. Once you are married...and have many years together...things tend to loose a little as trust has been earned throughout the years and throughout different conditions.

Going back to the original poster. Why would "friends" try to put their friend's relationship in jeopardy by exposing her to an environment conductive to disrespect? An environment of alcohol? An environment in which many men try to seduce women?

I strongly believe on women spending time together on places such as the theater, hair salon, massage places, and other appropriate venues. Heck, even a sit down bar is not a bad thing if NOT done frequently (e.g. too much alcohol).

But in a meat market (dancing club)? What's the point? Why put themselves in a position (even if they are not doing anything wrong) that might require my presence to RESCUE them? What about showing their younger/single girlfriends that finding the correct man sometimes take a change of venue and behavior?

If I'm dating a woman for a few months and we are not committed or if we are married for MANY years...then I apply RT's approach (plus some tricks of my own). Other than that, I like the approach of the quote above.
In MY case...all the women that have been with me know that I have cheated in my pass. And they are with me because they know that I don't do that anymore. So...that adds to their decision and even to their exitement as well as insecurity (as they don't take me for granted).

Note: If a woman tries to play games to sh_it test me with the type of test that are designed to create "insecurity"...at the end...SHE is the one that will lose.

 

[Vulpine]

rollo and the guys,

what are your thoughts on a girl going out with her girls and wearing sexy underware. my ex went out with the girls one night and was not planning on seeing me that night. we end up back at her place and had on a hot see through thong. i was like who are you wearing that for? we werent supposed to hang out tonight. she said it is just underware whats the big deal it isnt like anyone will see it. i told her, exactly then why wear it? she said girls dress up sexy for other girls and she needed the sexy underwear to feel sexy.

was that a load of ****?

Ahh... the proverbial "fux me boots". Oh yeah, DR.M, that was a load of sh!t she fed you. *passes the salt*

Come on, dude. Look at chicks when they go out. Heck, look at yourself when you go out. You know there is that one thing, or the certain jewelry combo, or the pair of shoes... when they go on, it's like superman stepping out of the phone booth: it's ON!

I wear a bracelet and watch when I go out: it's only mildly "on" then. But...
When the "fux me shoes" go on... it is mad-crazy-hella "on". (My "fux me shoes" are black box-toed Doc's that are polished such that they shine like chrome. They get noticed.)

Chicks tend to have "fux me boots": Knee high, black or red high-heel boots. When you see them, they might just as well have a sign around their neck that says: "I want you to take me home and fux me naughty - that's why I'm here." Sh!t, I flat-out ask chicks: "Are those your 'fux me' boots?" *giggle* "Yep!" "Ok." *then you proceed to cut the crap and get right to dragging them out of the club to fux*

It's common knowledge that chicks wear sexy underwear to feel sexy. When worn in conjunction with the "fux me boots", it's "on".

She ended up with you that night because she came up snake-eyes at the club. Sorry, I hate to be the one to spell it out to you.

 

[wrender]

So thanks to the advice from Rollo and Azanon, I played it cool and never asked her any more than if she had a nice time. I'm glad I went against my impulses and acted indifferent.

drmeathead mentioned something that hit home regarding my situation. When I was speaking to my gf on the phone as she was getting ready to go to the club, she mentioned that she was gonna look sexy. My immediate thoughts were similar to drmeathead's in that I wondered "look sexy for whom?". But I disregarded that comment and just said "oh that's great!". But after I got off the phone I began to wonder why most women do this. I'm not exactly convinced that they dress sexy when their out with their friends in hopes to pick-up guys. But perhaps it is just a feeling they enjoy.

btw, her idea of sexy is not showing alot of skin. It's more like a nice skirt, tights, a pretty shirt and make-up. But part me wishes that women would down-play their sexiness a bit when they are in a relationship (when out with friends). Why can't they just settle for "cute"?

 

[drmeathead]

dude i know what she was doing. she needs attention big time. if getting drunk an accidently falling on **** happened she wanted to be prepared. i actually called her to hang out when i got back from the concert. i figured that she would get to see me and my brother from out of town would get some instant social proof by being seen with her and her friends. she was semi-pissed that i showed up. that was my first clue. the second was the underware later on. i couldnt trust her for **** before that and then didnt at all after that.

i agree that sexy is just not needed when in a relationship unless they are with you. all this talk of down playing and being cool is fine. however, i think that packing the shute and geting ready to jump from the love plane is the best move. no need to scream and yell. a simple ok, well see ya is fine. i agree with the above poster that this is an issue that should be taken care of matter of factly before it happens. after it happens, you look weak, jealous, and needy. before it happens, you are simply stating the rules of which she needs to play along to to keep her prize.

now i am not saying women should go out with no makeup and sweats. you lose respect. your woman should dress like she is going to church when she goes out with the girls. classy, smart, sofisticated but not sending deliberate buying or selling signals. it is just respectful of the other person.

hell i think it is great to go out with the boys and not have to dress to the nines cause i just aint looking. i mean i dont want to look like a slob but i save my best stuff for my girl to look good for her.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Yo Troops,



One day, men will learn and ACCEPT the fact that the vast majority of women they will meet are poor candidates for becoming girlfriends, LTRs, and Wives.

A woman who IS relationship material demonstrates it consistently and WITHOUT coersion.

The knowledge that she has accumulated about your likes and dislikes, combined with her GENUINE high interest level in you SHOULD be enough to keep her more consistently running into YOUR ARMS as opposed to constantly running into THE CLUBS.

Read the above statement AGAIN.

This only applies to a woman who is a good fit for your life. If she's not, it's sometimes best to TOTALLY unleash her and let her KEEP running until she's EFFECTIVELY out of your life------PERMANENTLY.

Sometimes, failure to recognize the type of girl you REALLY have puts you in the position of constantly "casting your pearls before swine."

A good gift, even the gift of an EXCLUSIVE relationship, often goes unappreciated by those who either DON'T perceive it's value, or are too immature to appreciate it.




March on.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Wender, did she confer with you before she told her girls that she was going out?? If not, then this is disrespectful and this chick is the man in the relationship!!

I'm with Mr Ruckus, Latinoman, and Victory here - "Tha Clubs" is not the place for committed women to be frequenting without her man!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Why didn't she invite you along??? You could have gone along and not been in her way!! Or did she want to send out the vibe that she is available??? Dressing sexy is to get the attention of other guys (not yours)and letting them know that she is available!!!! I know that you are wondering whether she danced/grinded with a dude -- she probably did!!! She is on the prowl homie - just in case you didn't know that!!! Don't be shocked!

Men nowadays seem to value "keeping" a girl by not offending her more than their own pride and dignity!!!!

I am not of the school, like most on this forum, that you should avoid at all costs looking insecure, jealous, too controlling etc... this is bullshyt...if demanding respect and basic consideration from your mate is too much too ask for and makes you look weak in a woman's eyes then you have the WRONG woman!!!!!!!

Women today have the hor mindset and seem that disrespecting their man is ok and normal -- these are not women - they are a variant - a deviation from their naturally designed feminine nature!!!!!!!

It's too late for you to say anything about this to her now but you know in your heart that your girl is shyt for doing this --- you know, as thousands of dudes on this site who asked this same question as you did know, that if it was "ok" then you would have never brought it up for our consideration!!!

What she did is not ok - but it is the norm for hors today!!!

Don't trust her or fall in love!!!!!!


Drmeathead -- your girl is a hor and you know it!!!!

 

[drmeathead]

dude thats why i dumped her. although i ddint go with my gut i went with my eyes. until i caught her in a black in white lie that i could see in words. maybe that was too long i dont know. the good news is i got away. i dont know ifshe cheated, i just assume she did. findout out does me no good so i dont care.