A Fun Text Convo I need Your Feedback On

[CaConfused]

Different girl guys

Met her at a party. Met up for drinks last Friday. Then 1st date (her idea) was at my place for sushi Wednesday. Got to second base. She backed me off after fondling a bit. Said "its only the first date....!"

While at my place, at the end of date, I suggested dinner on Saturday. She's really busy (legit), on call 24/7 and said sounds good, would get back to me yesterday to confirm.

Her and I texted after date, then in AM. No confirmation. Then at 9pm I get

HER [Picture of her dinner] "Sirachachacha!"
ME:You know how to push my buttons
ME: Sriracha is an amazing mistress
HER: Like mistress/dominatrix or mistress/kept woman. I'm confused.
HER: Like the burning hot pain/feels so good or like the pleasurable taste / will cost you alot
ME: I love where youre going with this
ME: Official date ask (TM) Saturday 6pm (this is a joke back from our first meeting where she teased that i never ask officially)
HER: Hahahaha I love that mistress and sriracha is what prompted an official date ask
ME: Always does. So that's a yes. When do I pick you up.
HER: Hahahaha. It would be a solid yes if my schedule of managing other people's lives doesnt get in the way.
HER: I might have to go to Houston this weekend. But yes until I get a final answer
ME: It's a genuine date (again a call back to inside joke). Lemme know if you need to resched.
HER: Oh la la!

Thoughts guys? My one thought is that maybe I should flake on Saturday even though I think she probably legitimately has possible travel.

She is always responsive to texts and doesn't seem to 'game' that part of things.

 

[TheCWord]

I mean, you know the circumstances more than we do - and if she truly does have a job that keeps her schedule unpredictable right up until the last second. If that's the case, I guess everything sounds fine (just be mindful of overtexting). Under any other circumstances, though, I don't like the tentative yes. Sounds too much like, "I'll decide later" or "yes unless something better comes up."

I'm more concerned with the fact that women still shut down escalation attempts, citing "tee hee, only the first date," at age 40. Makes me want to just lock it down and get out of the game.

 

[CaConfused]

I mean, you know the circumstances more than we do - and if she truly does have a job that keeps her schedule unpredictable right up until the last second. If that's the case, I guess everything sounds fine (just be mindful of overtexting). Under any other circumstances, though, I don't like the tentative yes. Sounds too much like, "I'll decide later" or "yes unless something better comes up."

I'm more concerned with the fact that women still shut down escalation attempts, citing "tee hee, only the first date," at age 40. Makes me want to just lock it down and get out of the game.

I agree, and thanks CWord. She's 29 and I don't like it either. I take the overtexting feedback to heart. She generally initiates everything.

Any other advice/ opinons?

 

[VikingKing]

Attention whor3. If she was interested, she would have made a counter offer. I think shes enjoying the ego validation she is getting for you. Go cold on her and she will probably initiate again, but that's because she doesn't want to lose a source of ego validation.

 

[CaConfused]

I'm confused, noob. She said yes for now, given that she's on call.

Wouldn't the counter come if she flakes / says no?

 

[VikingKing]

I'm confused, noob. She said yes for now, given that she's on call.

Wouldn't the counter come if she flakes / says no?

Well keep us updated.

 

[CaConfused]

Well keep us updated.

Will do. As always, I don't plan on texting her unless she texts me, so we might not know anything until tomorrow.

 

[CaConfused]

I haven't heard from her since that convo on Thursday. On one hand, I'm used to hearing from her daily since we first went out. On another, it was a Friday. My female friend suggests I send this text in a couple hours to get the upper hand "Hey really sorry, my friend had a really shiity night and wants to hang"

Thoughts? If you read this in the next 2-3 hours, please reply!

 

[TheCWord]

I haven't heard from her since that convo on Thursday. On one hand, I'm used to hearing from her daily since we first went out. On another, it was a Friday. My female friend suggests I send this text in a couple hours to get the upper hand "Hey really sorry, my friend had a really shiity night and wants to hang"

Thoughts? If you read this in the next 2-3 hours, please reply!

For this time:

Assume it's on. Don't know what your date plans are, but if I have a girl scheduled to come over to my place I like to get a date confirmation by texting: "Red or white?"

Also, never listen to your female friend.

For next time:

If she gives you a tentative yes, if her schedule allows it, or any other form of "we'll see" instead of a definite yes, just tell her, "Let's just do it some time when you know you're free for sure."

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Attention whor3. If she was interested, she would have made a counter offer. I think shes enjoying the ego validation she is getting for you. Go cold on her and she will probably initiate again, but that's because she doesn't want to lose a source of ego validation.

This response is a perfect example of what the conditioning on this site does to young guys.

More specifically, unless a girl is showing sky high interest, then the mantra on this forum is to NEXT. That's just flat out wrong.

I'm all for going after girls that are showing high interest, but I'm more about going after the girls I want. To not expect a girl to present a little bit of a challenge in the initial stages of dating is faulty thinking & I'm not exactly sure how that became gospel here over the years.

What your missing Noob is understanding that going cold/ghost on a girl won't even register as a blimp on her radar unless she's invested in you.

This site is all about teaching men how to become better versions of themselves, but the NEXT mantra here is really just an ego preservation tactic that is designed to make you feel better & say that a girl is a waste of time, when the reality is that you don't know how to properly game her to get what you want.

----------------

CaConfused: One thing that I def agree with here is to keep the amount of texting in check ESPECIALLY early on. Women love to wonder what your doing, especially early in the dating game. Think about it…. they are use to the typical chump blowing up their phone & texting them constantly.

I'd keep your texting to 1-2x a week max this early on and make a little banter and then set up a date and off.

It looks like your getting wrapped up in this rather quickly and I sense some one-itis starting to creep in.

Let things take their course. When you had her at your house and you guys messed around, you shouldn't have asked her out on another date, while you were still wrapping up the current one. Let that mystery and time apart work FOR YOU, not against you.

Women love a challenge.

And your being too transparent.

As for how to proceed now. Assume you guys have plans because its obvious she is interested in you and wants to hang out. If she cancels last minute, don't try to make future plans there. Just take it stride and say something like "cool, have a great trip!" --- if you show your butthurt or disappointed in anyway you will look weak & she will lose attraction.

Don't tell her when you'll call her either.

She will think about you while she's on her trip if she goes and that time away will help you if you handle it right.

On the flip side if she is around, go have fun and escalate, flirt and keep getting to know her better.

Don't give her the championship belt, make her earn it.









PIMP

 

[CaConfused]

This response is a perfect example of what the conditioning on this site does to young guys.

More specifically, unless a girl is showing sky high interest, then the mantra on this forum is to NEXT. That's just flat out wrong.

I'm all for going after girls that are showing high interest, but I'm more about going after the girls I want. To not expect a girl to present a little bit of a challenge in the initial stages of dating is faulty thinking & I'm not exactly sure how that became gospel here over the years.

What your missing Noob is understanding that going cold/ghost on a girl won't even register as a blimp on her radar unless she's invested in you.

This site is all about teaching men how to become better versions of themselves, but the NEXT mantra here is really just an ego preservation tactic that is designed to make you feel better & say that a girl is a waste of time, when the reality is that you don't know how to properly game her to get what you want.

----------------

CaConfused: One thing that I def agree with here is to keep the amount of texting in check ESPECIALLY early on. Women love to wonder what your doing, especially early in the dating game. Think about it…. they are use to the typical chump blowing up their phone & texting them constantly.

I'd keep your texting to 1-2x a week max this early on and make a little banter and then set up a date and off.

It looks like your getting wrapped up in this rather quickly and I sense some one-itis starting to creep in.

Let things take their course. When you had her at your house and you guys messed around, you shouldn't have asked her out on another date, while you were still wrapping up the current one. Let that mystery and time apart work FOR YOU, not against you.

Women love a challenge.

And your being too transparent.

As for how to proceed now. Assume you guys have plans because its obvious she is interested in you and wants to hang out. If she cancels last minute, don't try to make future plans there. Just take it stride and say something like "cool, have a great trip!" --- if you show your butthurt or disappointed in anyway you will look weak & she will lose attraction.

Don't tell her when you'll call her either.

She will think about you while she's on her trip if she goes and that time away will help you if you handle it right.

On the flip side if she is around, go have fun and escalate, flirt and keep getting to know her better.

Don't give her the championship belt, make her earn it.









PIMP

Got it. I haven't heard from her yet and she hasn't given me the address as to where to pick her up (maybe she missed that q.) Date is 2.5 hours off. What should I do?

Thanks!

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Got it. I haven't heard from her yet and she hasn't given me the address as to where to pick her up (maybe she missed that q.) Date is 2.5 hours off. What should I do?

Thanks!

I'm assuming you already text her asking for her address? Don't think she missed that question if it was over text.

If you did and she hasn't responded then make other plans. And she will most likely text you apologizing for saying she is planning for the trip etc blah blah blah.


If you didn't ask for her address, then shoot her a text and get it.


Stop worrying about things from the girl's perspective. Just don't get needy or over-zealous and you'll be good.








PIMP

 

[SamTheHobit]

Try and avoid texting as much as possible and reserve it for making plans.

Some good advice that I should have taken along time ago and only realising the value of it now.

 

[TheCWord]

Just don't get needy or over-zealous and you'll be good.

That's all this site should be. Just that quote, no forums, no DJ bible. That alone would be enough to drastically improve game for most guys.

I also would've repped Pimp's earlier reply a million times, but something about spreading some reputation around before you can give it etc etc.

 

[CaConfused]

Hey guys, thanks so much for the insightful and thoughtful advice.

So around 4pm, she literally sent me 3 paragraphs of text messages explaining how she's still on call to fly out (she's an executive assistant) and she would know something around 6pm and how she feels really bad about not getting back to me. She even text messaged a picture of her packaged bags LOL. Here are those texts:

"Hi Sweetie. I'm sorry I havent gotten back to you. Truth is I never know my schedule. The job i interviewed for would like me for an assignement as a 'test run'. It would involve me flying out. They said to have my bag packed and ready. But I don't have a flt #, a time or a signed aggreement. I am miserable LOL and anxiety ridden." Followed by the picture of her packed bags

So I called her after 5 minutes. She said she drinks and dinner sounded really good given that, she's super stressed about the trip and being on call (it's her trial for the job she wants.) I told her 'focus on what you need to do I have things I can do with friends. Give it until 6pm, and let me know what happens. If you need to go, no biggie. If you don't ship out, we'll chill and have relaxing drinks and dinner'

So around 6:10, i texted her and said "At a happy hour until 7:30. Any news?"

She replied at 6:40 saying her contract is signed, theyre shipping her out. Still waiting for her flight and tail # though.

I replied "Awesome. Good luck!"

She replied "Ewwwwwwwww!! Thank you!" (Ewww reference to her stress about it.)

How did I do? What's next?

On one hand, I feel like no one would go through this much effort to flake on someone, writing out a three paragraph text, calling me sweetie, then answer a call when I called to hash it out.

On the other hand, during our 2nd date, when I said we should go out on Saturday, she said she would get back to me the next day. Her and I texted a bit (she always initiated), and she never confirmed until I brought it up. When she confirmed, she said yes but she might need to fly out for the job and never replied directly to 'where should i pick you up?'

Yes, I know - spin plates. But I'm looking for guidance on what's up here and what my next steps are

 

[CaConfused]

That's all this site should be. Just that quote, no forums, no DJ bible. That alone would be enough to drastically improve game for most guys.

I also would've repped Pimp's earlier reply a million times, but something about spreading some reputation around before you can give it etc etc.

Great call out. Heeded.

 

[CaConfused]

I'm assuming you already text her asking for her address? Don't think she missed that question if it was over text.

If you did and she hasn't responded then make other plans. And she will most likely text you apologizing for saying she is planning for the trip etc blah blah blah.


If you didn't ask for her address, then shoot her a text and get it.


Stop worrying about things from the girl's perspective. Just don't get needy or over-zealous and you'll be good.



IMP

Yeah she basically sent me a 3 paragraph text along with a picture of her packed luggage. Still a sign of low interest or no intent to go on date? How should I read into her actions mostly aligning with your sage prediction?

 

[VikingKing]

I think, we all think, the bags were a great idea. But, this time no bags, next time FULL REGALIA!

GOD DAMN IT ! this is a raid, you can't see I can't see, all that matters is can the horse see?

I am going to beat that nigga lova toooooo death, and personaly snip an clip that gaboon myslef.

 

[CaConfused]

LOL Noob. Clarified.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Go ghost on her now. If she's never initiating, I'm calling that she's fvcking someone else and is keeping you on the backburner for if her A guy dumps her.
If she doesn't initiate when she gets back, who gives a crap? You've just weeded out a chick who - through her actions - is only mildly interested at best.