A friend always goes after older women with baggage - kids etc - then vents to me how bad it is.

Bob S

Don Juan
Joined
Dec 7, 2017
Messages
29
Reaction score
7
I have a good friend that I have been friends with for a long time. He's the same age as me, early 30s. I am single and loving life as a new red pill aware guy. He has had several relationships in the past five years or so that have always been with women with baggage - kids, divorced etc that are all older than him and have hit the wall. I shake my head every time knowing that she has hit gold with him - very nice beta guy that will happily nurture another man's kids. He has 0 baggage - no kids etc and has not even reached his SMP. She has hypergamically manipulated him - subconsciously. She's not a bad girl just hypergamic.

Although he keeps going to these women, whenever I meet with him for drinks down the pub he vents to me how it is difficult in his relationship trying to balance work with his love life. He isn't asking me for advice so much as just letting off steam on me. I cannot make ANY comment as it would not be what he would want to hear. If I said, you got into it so your fault I look the villain. If I spill the red pill he would probably faint. I get so frustrated as I am being fitted into his life as a friend for him to accommodate his relationship. He is only available to meet if she is not busy or they have no plans or she has to look after the kids because the biological father is not around at that time.

In essence, I am being manipulated as a friend indirectly by a biological father I have never met who has kids with a woman my friend is dating. I feel horrible for being "fitted in". I am not the only friend either, it's the same with all his friends.

Is there any advice I can take as to A. How to behave when he vents his frustrations? I feel so uneasy. He loves her and obviously has some good times with her. and B. Is there nothing I can do to stop feeling "fitted in".

I did once push the boundary and tell him to put the biological father on the phone and I'll tell him personally he's a **** as my friend had to cancel prearranged plans with me because my friend has to look after the kids instead because the biological father wanted to go out with his friends and not look after the kids.
 

hockeyfreak79

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 15, 2013
Messages
1,045
Reaction score
342
I would say stop being his emotional tampon cause that's pretty much what you are. Find some new friends? Sometimes friend grow apart too.

If you can't bust your buddies balls and have him self-reflect about his RL then it's probably best to just move on. Seriously you'd be the villain? That's just stupid.
Plenty of chicks out there without kids.
 

MatureDJ

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 30, 2006
Messages
11,295
Reaction score
4,664
I get so frustrated as I am being fitted into his life as a friend for him to accommodate his relationship. He is only available to meet if she is not busy or they have no plans or she has to look after the kids because the biological father is not around at that time.

In essence, I am being manipulated as a friend indirectly by a biological father I have never met who has kids with a woman my friend is dating. I feel horrible for being "fitted in". I am not the only friend either, it's the same with all his friends.
This woman has one more puussy than you do; of course he is going to put her first in the hierarchy.
 
Top