A dilemma I have with being alpha

[SoSuaveDJ123]

It's funny- before I ever started reading SoSuave, solvemygirlproblems, rollo & roissy, I was the typical alpha male. But here's my one HUGE problem with being an alpha male living in NYC- everyone thinks I'm quiet/shy.

I can't understand it. I don't talk about my feelings with people. **** that ****. I also don't talk to people that I would have no use for. I simply ignore them. Others, I have friends, I hit on them etc. I rarely, rarely get angry, I just smile and act aloof. But everyone thinks that my aloofness is me being shy.

Might it have to do with the fact that I have a baby face? I'm big and tall so I don't know.

I don't wanna be one of those beta ****ing losers who runs around screaming about anything and everything and wears his heart on his sleeve. I like the way I am, calm cool & collected. And yet, I get **** for it, I get NO respect whatsoever from most of my peers, I get **** tested by all the girls. And the beta guys that I do know that wear their hearts on their sleeves and scream about their feelings and ****, are looked up to.

I have an immense amount of inner game. I LOok at most of the beta losers who "love their girlfriends" and are all stuck up in their asses and I know I'm better than them. I see these losers who don't have jobs, live in their moms basements and update their Facebook statuses 100x a day but get attention from girls and respect from their peers. I despise these people. I have impeccable inner game, but it doesn't show on the outside. I'm at my wits end.

Is this an NYC thing? Sigh.

 

[MikeAndIke]

I can Somewhat relate to some things that you said. If you have good inner game like you say, you should not be having the problems you are describing. Your inner game is making you come off as an a$$h0l3, not shy. Talk to everyone and act calm cool and collected like you say. It cant be a NYC thing because Im here and I dont have that problem.

 

[zekko]

You may have strong inner game but if no one respects you, you are definitely not an alpha. it's also a little silly to talk about other guys as "beta losers" when they are getting more play than you are.

I would spend less time looking down on people and more time trying to connect.

 

[crossedup]

Yeah, you just have to talk more. I wouldn't ignore people, that's being an assh*le. Be friendly, courteous, just not a pushover. You don't have to wear your heart on your sleeve, just focus on you and succeed. No need to worry about the lives of these b*tches. Be cool bro

 

[Daily Insanity]

Yeah, you just have to talk more. I wouldn't ignore people, that's being an assh*le. Be friendly, courteous, just not a pushover. You don't have to wear your heart on your sleeve, just focus on you and succeed. No need to worry about the lives of these b*tches. Be cool bro

This

 

[SoSuaveDJ123]

I am, man. But like the other night. I went to a wedding. I'm in my late twenties, still fairly young. I was sitting with the alpha men, having discussion.

Obviously the alpha men will not get up and dance. That **** is too gay, it's below them. They'll sit back, watch the entertainment, smile, talk about it, drink and be relaxed. I was doing the same with them when everyone started grabbing me telling me to Dance. I don't know how to dance, I fuvking suck at it, I'll look like a fagg0t. Besides, I think that **** is beneath me. Would Harvey Spector ever go dance? Lol.

And yet, everyone decided to call me "shy" and "boring" because I didn't do it. And yet no one said that sh1t to the guys in their 30's and 40's who are undoubtedly alpha and way above that ****.

I just simply don't know.

 

[incognito42]

I doubt that not being outwardly emotional or talking about your feelings is the reason they think you're shy and quiet and they **** test u all the time. Do u have an upbeat and positive vibe. Do u usually seem like you're having fun wherever you are?

 

[Alvafe]

well sometimes you have to do what you want, not what other are doing, also if you are younger people will expect you do what other youngers do, if a girl ask you to dance you can toss teh if you teach me how to, ok and go for it, also way you answer will tell more then the words.

I also think you are too damn tense, you need to relax more its almost like you want to keep things way they are because you are afraid, hence why people call you shy, saying you are shy is saying you are afraid of people

 

[Darth]

I think you have a lot of anger towards other people you might want to deal with.

When you get rid of all pent-up anger/bitterness/resentment, you truly stop caring about how others see you or what they think of you.

 

[SoSuaveDJ123]

How does one go about doing that though? I feel as if I let go and stop caring what people think about me that ill be beta. Isn't that the whole point of game? Caring about your reputation, making sure it stays alpha?

 

[Darth]

How does one go about doing that though? I feel as if I let go and stop caring what people think about me that ill be beta. Isn't that the whole point of game? Caring about your reputation, making sure it stays alpha?

I used to think so until recently, but no. The secret is to stop caring about how people see you at all. Stop caring about your reputation.

You can't control what people think anyway, not really.

 

[zekko]

Obviously the alpha men will not get up and dance. That **** is too gay, it's below them. They'll sit back, watch the entertainment, smile, talk about it, drink and be relaxed. I was doing the same with them when everyone started grabbing me telling me to Dance. I don't know how to dance, I fuvking suck at it, I'll look like a fagg0t. Besides, I think that **** is beneath me. Would Harvey Spector ever go dance? Lol.

Now I'm beginning to think this is a troll attempt. I'm not into dancing myself (seems kind of pointless), but some of the most alpha guys on this forum were and are into dancing. And there's no question being able to dance can be a big advantage with the ladies. For one thing, getting up and dancing shows that you are bold and confident.

Women dont like introverts except in select cases. Its just how it is, read any online dating profile.

I disagree with this, although being socially awkward will hurt you (as many introverts are). However, many introverts have built up good social skills. Extroverts may have an initial advantage since they tend to be passionate about socializing, and find it more natural to be "out of their head".

Remember, you can't go by what women say (or put in their dating profiles). If you go by online dating profiles, women don't like men in their 50s either. However, personal experience shows me otherwise. Be the best man you can be, and stop coming up with excuses why women won't want you. As the saying goes, make women come up with their own reasons not to fvck you.

 

[Mark1234]

I am, man. But like the other night. I went to a wedding. I'm in my late twenties, still fairly young. I was sitting with the alpha men, having discussion.

Obviously the alpha men will not get up and dance. That **** is too gay, it's below them. They'll sit back, watch the entertainment, smile, talk about it, drink and be relaxed. I was doing the same with them when everyone started grabbing me telling me to Dance. I don't know how to dance, I fuvking suck at it, I'll look like a fagg0t. Besides, I think that **** is beneath me. Would Harvey Spector ever go dance? Lol.

And yet, everyone decided to call me "shy" and "boring" because I didn't do it. And yet no one said that sh1t to the guys in their 30's and 40's who are undoubtedly alpha and way above that ****.

I just simply don't know.

LOL this is awesome. Good troll

 

[muscleman]

I don't know if this is the case, but it's possible that you haven't yet capitalized on your demeanor. I've written about this and the following might help you:

Discovering your demeanor
Embracing your demeanor
Find your persona

PS there's nothing wrong with dancing. I'm learning a little myself so I can do something at the club beyond wobbling.

 

[SoSuaveDJ123]

Lol @ u guys calling me a troll. I'm not trolling. I dont have time to go on forums and troll you guys. I was being serious.

 

[nroug7]

The moment you talk about any dilemma you are having or start to feel a need for attention/ not being called shy, you start to lose your alpha value.

 

[ArcBound]

Dancing is probably the closest thing to sex without actually doing it. You are going to miss out a sh!t ton of opportunities if you turn down women who clearly want to dance with you. Unless they were fugly I don't see what straight man wouldn't dance.

Also you are not alpha. Your actions are beta and you are describing your actions as alpha so you can hide behind them.

 

[FairShake]

If "shy" is codeword for "douche" then they are right.

 

[Trailboss]

Dude...the fact that you are even *concerned* about this *makes* you beta! You don't *try* to be Alpha: you just are. You get there by doing what you want, when you want, how you want. And by not getting sucked into bullsh*t. And by *not* worrying about it!

 

[Uncharted]

I live in Manhattan and I have no idea what you are talking about. This sh!t is working for me.