A complete mess

[Married Buried]

You seem like a smart cat, so I'm certain you can do what you need to do. On another note, thank you for your service.

Am I missing something here, but I thought the OP was NOT in the military? Only the girl is.

 

[origin138]

Am I missing something here, but I thought the OP was NOT in the military? Only the girl is.

Ha, it sounds like he is as I read the posts. Maybe military guy going to school/inactive?

If not I take my thanks back! OP are you military or just full time student?

 

[Ruthless]

Ditch the B!tch and be prepared for the label "abusive ex-boyfriend". You don't simply walk away unscathed, she will twist the story enough to make you a bad guy.

 

[Scormus]

She ain't turning up son.

 

[SAYNO]

:yawn:
I am of the conclusion that some men just never learn, and so our time would be better spent trying to teach those who are truly capable of learning..

 

[Albatross953]

Couple thoughts not mentioned before.

1. Respect to livefreex's mom. World needs more like her.

2. WHEN did she say this DNA test took place? Is she not just pregnant a month? Can they even do that?

 

[Married Buried]

Couple thoughts not mentioned before.

1. Respect to livefreex's mom. World needs more like her.

2. WHEN did she say this DNA test took place? Is she not just pregnant a month? Can they even do that?

Paternity test my ass. Let's see the paperwork.

 

[fizzlestyx]

Sat down with my old friend alcohol last night and figured this out. My thinking has cycled between wanting to believe her (someone here called it codependency) and skepticism. Look at the arguments for belief:

-I've spent practically every weekend for the past six months with this girl. She's always saying how lucky she is, how much she loves me, that I should go home to meet her family, and we'd considered her moving in with me. I knew she was a little unstable, but I felt a real emotional bond, and that with enough support and encouragement she could grow out of her irrational thinking.

-When I kicked her out, she was hysterical. I actually asked her, face to face, if on some level she'd wanted the "rape" to happen. She seemed shocked that I could think that, and on her way out she told me she'd thought I was "the one" and that she'd believed we would get married eventually. Over the next few days, she texted that she was so hurt that, having already felt "dirty and broken", her boyfriend would accuse her of cheating. She said I had no idea what it had been like for her, that it was so hard to talk about, and that she couldn't believe I actually thought she would have wanted it to happen.

Personally, I wouldn't be able to lie like this. It's been hard for me to comprehend how any guilty person could act so sincere. But then we have some glaring contradictions:

-The story about the "rape" itself doesn't add up. Conceding that some women may "shut down", it still doesn't make sense that she would have to go along with it based on threats against her career. She's been in the Navy for awhile, she knows her ship and the people on it. How did she end up alone with him in the first place?

-She didn't tell me when it happened, and probably wouldn't have said anything without the pregnancy. Her excuse is that she didn't know how to tell me, and was trying to erase it from her memory. Even if that's true, it means this could have happened multiple times, which she would've concealed for the same reason.

-As best I can tell, the earliest prenatal paternity test is at around 9-10 weeks. Any earlier would be too dangerous for the child. I really don't get this one. If this was a ruse to get out of our relationship, why did she pack all her things to go home with me for Thanksgiving? Why did she seem so desperate for me to believe her, and why did she start screaming when I told her to leave? Maybe she knew I wouldn't believe I was the father (I'd been careful) and was just using the rape excuse to explain her cheating?

-When I came back to see her, she told me she needs time, and that she's too messed up to see me. I accepted that, mostly because I was feeling guilty. I tried to check on her a few times this week, with practically no response. When I told her to be at my place last night, she responded instantly. She said it's not a good idea "yet", that I don't need to see her struggling like this, and that she's not doing well. When you're hurting like that, you want to be with someone who cares about you. I can't imagine she spent the night alone in her barracks, so she was probably with a guy- maybe the father, maybe someone else. I've got a good job and a stable life, and she's a mess with few close friends here, so I could certainly be useful to her. But she's clearly avoiding me, maybe because she knows I don't believe her lies.

Last night she texted that she couldn't come over because her doctor had ordered her to spend the day in the hospital. I didn't reply, and I have no intent to contact her again. Thanks all for the tips about Cluster B/BPD. I had never heard of these conditions, but they describe her pretty well. I couldn't understand how someone could be so immature, selfish, and manipulative, but it makes a lot more sense if she's a borderline sociopath. It's been a fun six months, and I'm lucky I didn't commit anything to this girl or wind up taking care of her kid.

 

[Married Buried]

Sat down with my old friend alcohol last night and figured this out. My thinking has cycled between wanting to believe her (someone here called it codependency) and skepticism. Look at the arguments for belief:

She is driving him to drink already! Get ready for full blown alcoholism if you deal more with this woman.

Last night she texted that she couldn't come over because her doctor had ordered her to spend the day in the hospital. I didn't reply, and I have no intent to contact her again. Thanks all for the tips about Cluster B/BPD. I had never heard of these conditions, but they describe her pretty well. I couldn't understand how someone could be so immature, selfish, and manipulative, but it makes a lot more sense if she's a borderline sociopath. It's been a fun six months, and I'm lucky I didn't commit anything to this girl or wind up with her child.

We'll believe it when we see it. Let us know when she starts texting you, wanting to hang out and you say NO. Besides she is preggo, you can hit it raw you know?

 

[LiveFreeX]

You are putting TOO MUCH THOUGHT into this, delete her facebook, email and all contact information. If I were you, I'd even move to another state or at least switch apartments. Best hope that is NOT your child and if it isn't then move out to Thailand for a couple months and get your head right.

Do not hit it at all, you are inviting demons into your life just by taking her calls. She is likely banging her rapist right now. Dude she is a big girl, and likely a dangerous one, just tell her you can't handle her sh1t and you've decided to go on an 'Eat, Pray, Love' trip to clear your head to Thailand. Tell her she can contact you via email or something but get the fvck out of that situation.

If you do none of that, get yourself an XBOX, Fallout AND Skyrim. Lock yourself in a room and don't come out till every quest is completed. By the end of the month, you won't even remember her name.

 

[Married Buried]

You are putting TOO MUCH THOUGHT into this, delete her facebook, email and all contact information. If I were you, I'd even move to another state or at least switch apartments. Best hope that is NOT your child and if it isn't then move out to Thailand for a couple months and get your head right.

Do not hit it at all, you are inviting demons into your life just by taking her calls. She is likely banging her rapist right now. Dude she is a big girl, and likely a dangerous one, just tell her you can't handle her sh1t and you've decided to go on an 'Eat, Pray, Love' trip to clear your head to Thailand. Tell her she can contact you via email or something but get the fvck out of that situation.

If you do none of that, get yourself an XBOX, Fallout AND Skyrim. Lock yourself in a room and don't come out till every quest is completed. By the end of the month, you won't even remember her name.

He just needs to meet other women. If you have no other options you are a slave to the one p/ssy you do have.

 

[glass half full]

He just needs to meet other women. If you have no other options you are a slave to the one p/ssy you do have.

Yes, that ^^^^^

Don't allow yourself to get stuck with this bytch, it just isn't any good at all.
Start reading up on the good info stickies on this site and go get some good stuff.

 

[fizzlestyx]

I've never been around this kind of crazy, so it's taken me way too long to wake up and understand what's actually happening. She clearly lied about the paternity test. She knows I'm not interested in kids, and at this point she probably doesn't want me involved anyway, so she may have lied because she suspects I'm the father. Short of fleeing the state, what's my best option?

 

[Married Buried]

I've never been around this kind of crazy, so it's taken me way too long to wake up and understand what's actually happening. She clearly lied about the paternity test. She knows I'm not interested in kids, and at this point she probably doesn't want me involved anyway, so she may have lied because she suspects I'm the father. Short of fleeing the state, what's my best option?

Sorry man, your best option is to flee the state to Alaska. You can then begin a new life.

Or you could just go ghost. Whatever is easier for you.

 

[LiveFreeX]

Go hang out in Mexico for six months, Mexico city is cheap to live in guy. You can probably get a house there for 300 bucks a month and live on 50 to 100 bucks for food. Get a somewhat decent job teaching English for 10 bucks an hour.

That's what I would do/have done.

IS it your kid though is the question?

 

[Married Buried]

Go hang out in Mexico for six months, Mexico city is cheap to live in guy. You can probably get a house there for 300 bucks a month and live on 50 to 100 bucks for food. Get a somewhat decent job teaching English for 10 bucks an hour.

That's what I would do/have done.

IS it your kid though is the question?

It's not his kid. If it was his kid believe me he would know. She would already be planning the child support payments. No reason she would make up that story if it was his kid.

As for the foreign women, it is amazing that BPD's only exist in America. Most foreign women are sweet and normal. 99 percent of them. In all my adventures I dated one foreign chic that was alcoholic but I only saw her once or twice.