A cold blowoff... But why???

[Smartone84]

Met a girl out Saturday afternoon on Long Island. Absolutely beautiful. My type to a T. Lives about 45 minutes away from me and was staying with a friend on Long Island for the weekend but I figured hey, at 30 years old, I can’t really be too picky anymore. If it’s the right chick, you can make it work, regardless of a little distance. We text a bit that night and then the next afternoon I ask her how the rest of the night was. We go back and forth until SHE tells me that she’ll be back at the bars tonight and asks if me and my friends will be around to meet up. I was excited, and I was pumped. I’ve been in a drought with finding any form of quality female life here on Long Island the last couple of years and well, to be honest, this was something I was looking forward to. She is 28 years old by the way. I tell the girl that we’ll be up at the bar at 9 for drinks. She simply says ok, only to text me at 9:20 saying how they just got back from dinner and won’t be there til 10:30pm. Smh. That’s girl for ya.

Me and my friend go to another place in the meantime and end up back at the bar at 10:30 after she texts me letting me know she’s there. We get in and for the next hour and a half we all mingle and hang out, but mostly with me and her isolating and getting to know each other. It was decent convo overall, and I ended up buying her a few drinks, getting some quality kino with NO resistance from her might I add, dancing, and lastly, she agreed to a date in NYC not this week but next week. She’s a teacher and this week was not going to be good at all for her with meetings after school every night and what not. A couple of negatives would be that my one friend that I brought had a little too much to drink and went a little overboard at certain points, asking if he could take a photo of us which she was absolutely against and made faces about, to him attempting to dance with the two of us in a “sandwich” style. We both pushed him away TWICE. I was livid with him, bc he tries to be overly friendly sometimes, but he may have went overboard there. STILL, I made it known that he’s actually a very nice guy (which he is) and she, as well as the two friends of hers, agreed how he seems nice. Shortly after his botched dance attempt around midnight and after the bar band finished up, the three of them leave saying they are going home. I gave her a peck goodnight and asked what day might be good for her for the date. She said to text her and we’ll talk about it. I probably shouldn’t have even went that far, I know, but I guess I just wanted a little confirmation.

Me and my friend then leave the bar 45 minutes later only to run into them on the street! They all act very friendly including her, smiling, and saying goodnight once more, revealing that they just had pizza and are now on their way home (back to her friends place). My girl keeps a smile on her face and says “Yeah” when I say ‘Ok I’ll talk to you soon’. There would be NO post hang out text which I found a bit odd since I personally thought we had a nice time. I left that night with an overall iffy feeling on the entire thing but at the same time just very into this girl more than I’ve been into a girl in a long, long time. I know you’ll scream “afc” and “Oneitis!” but sometimes you just can’t help it. In a world where I’ve almost lost all faith in feeling anything special for a girl anymore, this was a bit of a rejuvenation for me.

So now we get to the real dirt, and the reason why I’m here. The next day (labor day) no text from her all day, naturally. But as the guy I knew I had to take initiative and I did, in an attempt to keep momentum rolling with this girl that I definitely wanted to see again. I message her wishing her good luck for tomorrow (first day back at school/work). The text went with no response. I was really devastated, and disgusted. I’ve been played by girls in my life but this may have been the worst cold blow off ever. I was TRULY in shock that I got nothing. My question, if it can even be a real question bc nobody will ever know the truth, is what exactly could have happened here this past weekend? Again, please understand that she was acting into me the ENTIRE time at the bar. This really has come as a bit of a shock to me

My few theories go like this:

1- She was on a weekend getaway on long island and just wanted to spice up her final night with some new people and was not interested in starting anything serious with a guy that lives kind of far away
2- She just wasn’t into me at the end of the day and put on an academy award winning act
3- My friends dance legit creeped her out to the point where it reflected poorly on me and she just wanted out
4- she saw the text and saw there was no real question to respond to, decided to play a little hard to get, and will eventually text me


p.s. I did some research and she does NOT have a boyfriend

thanks in advance for any help guys…

 

[Tictac]

Cuz... Girl.

Move along. Nothing to see here

 

[mangotot]

p.s. I did some research and she does NOT have a boyfriend

Are you a stalker?

 

[hudpes]

Don't tell anyone I said this, but oneitis is okay... as long as you don't show the symptoms. But you did. Every step of the way. You probably seemed weak and needy, but nice. And nice is fine to spend some time with, but it is neither exciting nor interesting. There was no game, you appeared to have no other options, no other points of interest.

The first red AFC flag I saw was "We text a bit that night and then the next afternoon I ask her how the rest of the night was. We go back and forth until SHE tells me that she’ll be back at the bars tonight and asks if me and my friends will be around to meet up.".

Chatting like that is unnecessary. How about: "Hey, it was nice meeting you, we should go out some time."? It would put you in a different position, as you would be direct and your intention would be clear. Chatting and then going out with a bunch of friends sounds a hell of a lot like going out as friends.

After that when you got some quality one-on-one time she felt chased out of a situation that wasn't what you hinted it to be - going out as friends. As you can see, this didn't go down well.

Then, why on earth would you expect a woman to text you? This is AFC logic 101. Women have a very strong tendency not to initiate texts (unless you're marked as a harmless friend) and it doesn't mean anything. I'm currently dating a girl who NEVER texted me first, never called me first, yet I know she was into me from the get go. Get to the point, be direct, don't nag and pressure and don't assume anything, stop analyzing and always keep moving. If she doesn't budge when you poke, let her be and move on.

Oh yeah, and read the DJ bible.

 

[Smartone84]

I had found her Facebook.

Take care guys. Thanks for nothing

 

[The Duke]

You got way too excited about her. When you do it comes across as desperate, needy, insecure, not confident. Not what a woman finds attractive. You made it out so she was the prize. Thats not how it goes. Have you ever heard the sayings "less is more" or "the one who cares least about the relationship has the most power". You gotta make them work for it, thats what gets them excited. Every woman knows that a man that makes the girls work for it has options. And a guy with options is what women are looking for. Your behavior gave yourself away. You didn't have to explain that you didn't have any other girls going, it was obvious.

Look at your comment you just made...."Thanks for nothing"......already getting butt hurt if you don't hear exactly what you want to hear. You did the same thing with this girl.

 

[Beetlesales]

Met a girl out Saturday afternoon on Long Island. Absolutely beautiful. My type to a T. Lives about 45 minutes away from me and was staying with a friend on Long Island for the weekend but I figured hey, at 30 years old, I can’t really be too picky anymore. If it’s the right chick, you can make it work, regardless of a little distance. We text a bit that night and then the next afternoon I ask her how the rest of the night was. We go back and forth until SHE tells me that she’ll be back at the bars tonight and asks if me and my friends will be around to meet up. I was excited, and I was pumped. I’ve been in a drought with finding any form of quality female life here on Long Island the last couple of years and well, to be honest, this was something I was looking forward to. She is 28 years old by the way. I tell the girl that we’ll be up at the bar at 9 for drinks. She simply says ok, only to text me at 9:20 saying how they just got back from dinner and won’t be there til 10:30pm. Smh. That’s girl for ya.

Me and my friend go to another place in the meantime and end up back at the bar at 10:30 after she texts me letting me know she’s there. We get in and for the next hour and a half we all mingle and hang out, but mostly with me and her isolating and getting to know each other. It was decent convo overall, and I ended up buying her a few drinks, getting some quality kino with NO resistance from her might I add, dancing, and lastly, she agreed to a date in NYC not this week but next week. She’s a teacher and this week was not going to be good at all for her with meetings after school every night and what not. A couple of negatives would be that my one friend that I brought had a little too much to drink and went a little overboard at certain points, asking if he could take a photo of us which she was absolutely against and made faces about, to him attempting to dance with the two of us in a “sandwich” style. We both pushed him away TWICE. I was livid with him, bc he tries to be overly friendly sometimes, but he may have went overboard there. STILL, I made it known that he’s actually a very nice guy (which he is) and she, as well as the two friends of hers, agreed how he seems nice. Shortly after his botched dance attempt around midnight and after the bar band finished up, the three of them leave saying they are going home. I gave her a peck goodnight and asked what day might be good for her for the date. She said to text her and we’ll talk about it. I probably shouldn’t have even went that far, I know, but I guess I just wanted a little confirmation.

Me and my friend then leave the bar 45 minutes later only to run into them on the street! They all act very friendly including her, smiling, and saying goodnight once more, revealing that they just had pizza and are now on their way home (back to her friends place). My girl keeps a smile on her face and says “Yeah” when I say ‘Ok I’ll talk to you soon’. There would be NO post hang out text which I found a bit odd since I personally thought we had a nice time. I left that night with an overall iffy feeling on the entire thing but at the same time just very into this girl more than I’ve been into a girl in a long, long time. I know you’ll scream “afc” and “Oneitis!” but sometimes you just can’t help it. In a world where I’ve almost lost all faith in feeling anything special for a girl anymore, this was a bit of a rejuvenation for me.

So now we get to the real dirt, and the reason why I’m here. The next day (labor day) no text from her all day, naturally. But as the guy I knew I had to take initiative and I did, in an attempt to keep momentum rolling with this girl that I definitely wanted to see again. I message her wishing her good luck for tomorrow (first day back at school/work). The text went with no response. I was really devastated, and disgusted. I’ve been played by girls in my life but this may have been the worst cold blow off ever. I was TRULY in shock that I got nothing. My question, if it can even be a real question bc nobody will ever know the truth, is what exactly could have happened here this past weekend? Again, please understand that she was acting into me the ENTIRE time at the bar. This really has come as a bit of a shock to me

My few theories go like this:

1- She was on a weekend getaway on long island and just wanted to spice up her final night with some new people and was not interested in starting anything serious with a guy that lives kind of far away
2- She just wasn’t into me at the end of the day and put on an academy award winning act
3- My friends dance legit creeped her out to the point where it reflected poorly on me and she just wanted out
4- she saw the text and saw there was no real question to respond to, decided to play a little hard to get, and will eventually text me


p.s. I did some research and she does NOT have a boyfriend

thanks in advance for any help guys…

Naturally, the beta male thinks "doing something" will in turn, get her to magically fall in love.. Dude, your game is fuking weak.

She's not in to you. Simple as that. NEXT.

 

[mangotot]

The OP needs a total change in mentality. Its for people like this that PUA articles like 'how to be a jerk' were written.

 

[Kailex]

but I figured hey, at 30 years old, I can’t really be too picky anymore. If it’s the right chick, you can make it work, regardless of a little distance…

You lost me here.

Sorry, but if this is your mentality going into anything... you've already lost.
And I mean age-wise moreso than the distance.

 

[pyros]

because she is harsh when she's not interested, so this is why shedid not even replied thank you, so you get demotivated and stop pursuing her..

Actually she made you a favor, because if she had replied to you, you would have texted her again, and she would have felt forced to reply to you, and so on...until you asked her out and she had to think about an excuse to reject you.
This way you wont text her again, and everybody can continue their path.

Be thankful, some other girls would have led you on...till they got bored.

 

[Greasy Pig]

Women change their minds OP, it's really just that simple.
I've been in your situation many times and upon reflection, I realised I chased them away by being too nice.
Women don't mind - and even expect - men to be aggressive in pursuit of something they want.
Were you spitting game at her or were you trying to make smalltalk? If you were buying her drinks, that might also explain why she was acting so into you.
She had high IL when she offered to meet you at a bar, that was your chance to be the charismatic, hilarious, charming guy she hoped you'd be.
Once again, this is my hypothesis based on similar experiences.
Read the DJ Bible, research C&F game and learn how to seduce, because at the end of the day, women want to be slvts, they just don't want to feel like slvts.
There's a fine line but you'll learn if you stick around and learn, practise, learn and practise some more.