I am writing this not because I feel I have any perticular difficulties with the opposite sex but because I am in a situation which is fairly complicated and someone with better experience may have a better chance.
I am confident with the opposite sex, and have no reason not to be. I have a good self image, im athletic, reasonably intelligent and confident the only thing i have which may count against me is the fact that i am only 17.
I also feel I qualify as alpha male material, having bin a member of a military youth organisation for the past 5 years, and having risen throught the ranks I have alot of experience at asserting myself and leading others.
Despite my own self-confidence I am still in a situation where I feel I am inexperienced, I am basically in a situation that combines alot of the more difficult areas dealt with on such sites so ill start at the beginning.
The girl i like, and i think i like her alot, is a lifelong friend. I was well and truly in the friend zone before i was old enough to recognise the opposite sex. I have also liked her on and off for along time, and have reason to believe at times she has felt the same. I am not a coward, but have long assured myself that we were just friends and she happened to be attractive.
The other problem is she currently has a boyfriend of about two years. I flirt alot with her, but even before this was a concious descision this was an established part of how we are as friends, so it makes it impossible to tell if shes flirting back because she likes me or because thats just the way it is.
It feels like there is a strong chemistry between us, and alot of people notice, and some have mistaken us for a couple. But this could well be just our messed up friendship.
Also I am fighting against an image of a previous me, one which was less athletic, more nerdy, and more firmly in the friend only zone.
Because it is impossible to read the signals anymore it has reached a point where the only strategy i can see is to tell her how i feel, but this is not a good idea, and I stand to lose a considerably amount.
On the other hand she does often tell me tht she isnt sure about her boyfriend, and tht she thinks she just wants a boyfriend, not neccessarily him. Also he is worryingly similar to me, except when they started goin out i was carrying a bit of weight and know it's him. She has also commented on the fact that at times he can be rather unnatractive.
There is alot suggesting there is something there. Once of her female friends, under the influence of alcohol, told me she was in love with me. it was this that actually messed with my head to start with, before that ignorance was a bliss. Also not so long ago we had an argument that seemed far more highly charged than any other argument and yet seemed to be about nothing. after this was resolved there was more flirting than ever.
The signs do point in my favour, i just need a way of finding out without the potential to lose everything, I could just aim to break their relationship up, but that isnt me. If sunk low enough to do that and she wasnt interested everyone would be worse off, but at the same time she does seem to want to get out of the relationship.
So if anyones got any advice on this minefield of a situation it would be greatly appreciated. Until then all i can do is attempt to keep and open mind, even though it feels like i would be seteling for second best.
I am confident with the opposite sex, and have no reason not to be. I have a good self image, im athletic, reasonably intelligent and confident the only thing i have which may count against me is the fact that i am only 17.
I also feel I qualify as alpha male material, having bin a member of a military youth organisation for the past 5 years, and having risen throught the ranks I have alot of experience at asserting myself and leading others.
Despite my own self-confidence I am still in a situation where I feel I am inexperienced, I am basically in a situation that combines alot of the more difficult areas dealt with on such sites so ill start at the beginning.
The girl i like, and i think i like her alot, is a lifelong friend. I was well and truly in the friend zone before i was old enough to recognise the opposite sex. I have also liked her on and off for along time, and have reason to believe at times she has felt the same. I am not a coward, but have long assured myself that we were just friends and she happened to be attractive.
The other problem is she currently has a boyfriend of about two years. I flirt alot with her, but even before this was a concious descision this was an established part of how we are as friends, so it makes it impossible to tell if shes flirting back because she likes me or because thats just the way it is.
It feels like there is a strong chemistry between us, and alot of people notice, and some have mistaken us for a couple. But this could well be just our messed up friendship.
Also I am fighting against an image of a previous me, one which was less athletic, more nerdy, and more firmly in the friend only zone.
Because it is impossible to read the signals anymore it has reached a point where the only strategy i can see is to tell her how i feel, but this is not a good idea, and I stand to lose a considerably amount.
On the other hand she does often tell me tht she isnt sure about her boyfriend, and tht she thinks she just wants a boyfriend, not neccessarily him. Also he is worryingly similar to me, except when they started goin out i was carrying a bit of weight and know it's him. She has also commented on the fact that at times he can be rather unnatractive.
There is alot suggesting there is something there. Once of her female friends, under the influence of alcohol, told me she was in love with me. it was this that actually messed with my head to start with, before that ignorance was a bliss. Also not so long ago we had an argument that seemed far more highly charged than any other argument and yet seemed to be about nothing. after this was resolved there was more flirting than ever.
The signs do point in my favour, i just need a way of finding out without the potential to lose everything, I could just aim to break their relationship up, but that isnt me. If sunk low enough to do that and she wasnt interested everyone would be worse off, but at the same time she does seem to want to get out of the relationship.
So if anyones got any advice on this minefield of a situation it would be greatly appreciated. Until then all i can do is attempt to keep and open mind, even though it feels like i would be seteling for second best.