A broken world

[joekerr31]

you know i've been thinking lately, there are A LOT of broken people out there in the world.

like im not talking the minority. im talking the majority.

even seemingly normal women, when you get to know them, typically have some messed up story of issues they have their dad or mother, or they were abused, or they suffer from depression, or they were molested, etc.

none of this necessarily means they are 'bad' - i'm just saying that im utterly blown away by how many people out there have had to deal with some nasty crap in their lives.

it seems like very few make it to adult hood without going through some serious sh*t at one point or another that still lingers in their lives and creates issues at times - such as mistrust, negative thinking, low self esteem, etc.

its shocking just how broken a world we seem to live in.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Unfortunately brother there are people in this world who thrive on being the downtrodden and broken. They can't be fixed.

Some people are just bad,
Some people are just scarred,
Some people are just bruised,
Some people are just fvcked up,

It may or may not be their fault. They may be victims of cirumstance but there are ways of reversing thier bad fortunes. Most won't.

I don't have time or the compassion to fix anyone else.

 

[mintxx]

yeah i hear you man, i sometimes think that my upbringing has been so trouble free and comfortable that my perception must be way off and i am actually repressing shyt or something. it seems too good to be true compared with most people i meet who talk about their families and pasts with such melodrama.

but maybe a lot of it's just that: melodrama. break it down to how many girls actually had bad **** happen to them, not just the ones who are messed up now and blame their parents for all these small vague things. this stuff is so fashionable and the neuroticism is so encouraged by popular culture that i wonder how i missed it on the way here. ..

on the other hand, it's true that depression etc is sky high, and though i can't really relate unless i'm thinking about the destruction of the environment or something similarly heavy, i think that this problem is real and partly caused by the sheer number of unfavourable comparisons that the modern person is able to make between themselves and other people in the world as presented by electronic media, and also by the bombardment of bad news that is so unique to the 20th century media age?

i also think that it is very fashionable to diagnose people with things that make them more depressed, i.e. the quiet person being diagnosed with 'avoidant social disfunction disorder' and being put on medication.

also, maybe it's always been like this and is now more visible?

who knows, not my problem ^_^

 

[KontrollerX]

Yeah the world sucks and will break you down if you let it.

Depression seems like its become the universal condition which just about everyone suffers from to some extent.

The only thing we DJ's can do is carve out a little piece of happiness for ourselves the best we can.

 

[Phyzzle]

Broken? More broken than what?

I don't think we're more broken than before. Sure, you don't see people complaining about their messed up issues of rejection or abuse, when you read things written in the 19th century. The major difference is, we now live in a "self-diagnosed" world.

The idea of having issues or having a mental problem didn't come around until the mid-20th century. Nowadays, people that used to be shy and inattentive, instead have aspergers and ADD. I doubt parents are more strict or abusive now. You just hear about it more (sometimes nonstop). I also doubt that women have more issues with their parents, they've just learned that they can bask in sympathy with their "woe is me" stories. If you're a guy, of course, you quickly learn that no one want to hear it.

I see no break down in culture yet.

 

[grinder]

We are a society obsessed with trauma and drama. It sells, people buy. It’s a powerful cycle that is fueled by the media and it’s very mesmerizing and self-propagating.

“Broken” women waiting on Captn Sav-A-Ho to come to the rescue.

Damn its hard to not fall into that rescuer role. Even yesterday I slipped into it with my main dish and I caught myself playing Mr. Therapist. I was commiserating and being “empathic” and she was crying and “venting”. Since I actually have been a therapist in the past for 16 years I knew how to do this; BUT, I also saw how self-reinforcing it was.

I broke out of that nosedive and remembered why and what we are here. I changed the topic completely to something funny (not easy to do) and, I sh*t you not, we both ended up laughing the hardest and healthiest laugh in months.

That, my friends, is REAL therapy, fueled by knowledge gained in this place. Of course we bonded even closer and now I have another issue to deal with. LOL

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Anything can become normal.

 

[PTC]

Anything can become normal.

Yeah with a little help and medication!! :crazy:

 

[Knight's Cross]

Good topic! One that often gets overlooked.
J31 I think that it's always been a broken world. People have been what they are since the beginning. We are evolving and learning about how the brain works, and what mental issues are. So yeah, it's vogue to label every little quirk, and neurosis. There is some good news here. With all the information available you can use it to filter out the women with too many issues.
I dated a girl that was a commitment phobic. Couldn't quite place my finger on what was wrong. I did all the AFC things, thinking I was messing it up. Played Captain save a ho, was there for her as a shoulder. (TOTALLY WRONG) That was until I discovered through reading psychology material what commitment phobic people do. IT WAS LIKE A LIGHTBULB MOMENT. I'd say that if you really want to filter for a good woman you need to understand some psychology. Like Grinder said above, DON'T BECOME HER THERAPIST. Good women come to the scene with good coping skills. She may need a shoulder to cry on every once in awhile. That's ok, but when women have done this too often to me I've told them to call their girlfriend, or mother to vent to. I've been hung up on a couple of times doing this, but it works....they learn real quick you are not their emotional tampon.
Understand yourself and your own issues. Then learn about your dates. Dating should be fun, but all the while you look for the flags that are mental issues. I've overlooked these things before, as we all probably have. Every time the relationship was on a preset timer to explode. You can do everything right, but ultimately if you are with someone that cannot carry their own bags you are screwed.

 

[STR8UP]

Hundreds of years ago life was simple, but physically demanding. Today life is easy but mentally incapacitating at times.

Physical labor makes your body strong and helps you sleep at night. It keeps you healthy. Stress can kill you. It's killing me as we speak!

What the industrial revolution started, the information age is taking to a whole new level. Now the really smart people click the button on a mouse and retire millionaires in their 20's. That leaves a lot of other people out there struggling to try to compete, basically pulling their hair out just to make ends meet.

Is there any wonder why there is so much depression?

As for women.....yea.....they are fukked up. They aren't all the same, of course, but you might as well say they are and get it out of the way cause the vast majority of them live in the same reality.

That's why when people talk about finding a "quality" woman and such, I just laugh. There's no such thing. They are varying degrees of broken. Men are too, but add the effects of feminism (women trying to be men) and the estrogen fueled emotional roller coaster women experience, and what do you think you're gonna get?

Me? I am resolved to the fact that if I DO find a woman who is reasonably qualified to get seriously involved with, I know I will likely have to deal with at least some of the residual effects of the rest of society rubbing off on her.

I get chastised for hanging out with women who lean toward the opposite direction.... "low quality" women some would call them.

But are they really low quality? Or is it that they are simply more like themselves around me?

I'm VERY non-judgemental. Do I only meet "broken" women? Or are they simply comfortable to let me see the real person?

Women are masters at putting up a facade. I have a feeling that I'm just someone who has gotten a peek behind the curtain.

It's not pretty!

 

[Mr.Positive]

Hundreds of years ago life was simple, but physically demanding. Today life is easy but mentally incapacitating at times.

Physical labor makes your body strong and helps you sleep at night. It keeps you healthy. Stress can kill you. It's killing me as we speak!

We make life harder than it needs to be. We worry about stupid things, like women, fashion, new cars, sports (yes..sports), dvd's, new tv's, the list goes on....

Basically anything that has no direct effect on your life, and the quality of your life.

I've been in the process over the past couple of years of simplifying my life, and I'll tell you, I've never been happier.

I quit my corporate stressful office job with unrealistic expectations, in favor of pursuing a physically demanding blue collar job. At the end of the day, I lay my head down without a worry now, and sleep great. I actually look forward to going to work.

I sold my house, paid off all my debt, and now live a debt free lifestyle. I don't even watch tv anymore, I get news online. I focus on friends, family, and simple things now.

Yup, I pretty much got rid off all unnecessary stress and finally feel pretty d@mn content. I may not become a millionaire, but you know what, that's ok with me.

Life is really good guys, WE make it hard with all the useless attachments.

 

[CanuckinSK]

Some people are just comfortable wallowing in their problems and sub-par lives. Everyone can do SOMETHING to improve their lives.

 

[squirrels]

States of mind and attitudes are contagious. It only takes one "broken" person to infect the masses.

Learn to think for yourself. Choose which attitudes infect you. And what all others do be damned.

 

[Luthor Rex]

We make life harder than it needs to be.

Can I get a "hell yeah"?

:rockon:

 

[Luthor Rex]

States of mind and attitudes are contagious. It only takes one "broken" person to infect the masses.

Learn to think for yourself. Choose which attitudes infect you. And what all others do be damned.

I've noticed this too... like it's some kind of virus of the mind.

Maybe Dawkin's metaphore of the meme isn't so much a metapohre...

:flowers:

 

[realsmoothie]

We definitely make life harder than it is.

Not sure why, maybe the human mind just needs minor amounts of crisis on some kind of biological level.

Might also be a Western civilization thing, especially North America. Our society is so obsessed with progress.

 

[danny62]

Ok, I've been reading this thread and there are some very interesting points. JoeKerr, as usual, your opinions are great to read. So, I'm sure that everybody here has gone thru a break-up: Your confidence gets rattled BIG TIME, and you're reduced to a walking carrot. So how have you guys dealt with say the first couple of weeks of this? Unfortunately, most of my friends have moved away or fallen out of contact although I still have a couple of real close friends in the vicinity. My family has ALOT of their own drama to deal with, so thats out. I'm pretty much on my own here as far as resolving this and getting back on my feet. Done it before in the past and it was easier, but now at 45, can't seem to get off the mat as quickly as I have in the past. I have the option of working 7 days a week and I don't like to drink my problems away as that just makes it worse. What do you guys suggest? Would really appreciate the input.

 

[mzilla2]

You are a victim, or a survivor. How you mitigate a sh1tty deal is key.

 

[wayword]

you know i've been thinking lately, there are A LOT of broken people out there in the world.

like im not talking the minority. im talking the majority.

even seemingly normal women, when you get to know them, typically have some messed up story of issues they have their dad or mother, or they were abused, or they suffer from depression, or they were molested, etc.

none of this necessarily means they are 'bad' - i'm just saying that im utterly blown away by how many people out there have had to deal with some nasty crap in their lives.

it seems like very few make it to adult hood without going through some serious sh*t at one point or another that still lingers in their lives and creates issues at times - such as mistrust, negative thinking, low self esteem, etc.

its shocking just how broken a world we seem to live in.

Welcome to the USA! Look at what all the liberal "progress" we've made in the last half-century since the 60s has resulted in!

Just like it was master-planned...