A bit of a situation

[Jack McCrack]

This girl I've been seeing for a few months has been giving me some awkward feelings.

She's responded great to kino and kissing, sometimes teases back with C+F and such, and calls me often. She has the rest of my buddies drooling all over here. I've asked her to prom and she responded positively.

However, she's been hanging out with my close group of friends (all AFCs) and has been telling them that I'm too physical, too ****y, that I'm always sarcastic and that she can never have a serious conversation with me. (I'm only ****y and sarcastic to the extent of C+F).

She's brought it to my friends' attentions and has them all of the above. Now they're telling me "she doesn't like you, you're a jerk, etc."

What's going on? I've been upfront with my desires for her and yet she continues to try to drag me down by complaining to my friends.

She has never said ANY of these things when she's around me accept that I'm hard to have seriously conversations with because I'm always joking around. She said to them that she likes me as a friend though I've clearly made my desires known.

Should I continue as if I my friends never told me these things or should I shut her off completely?

 

[tmpgstx]

First the C&F thing isn't the Holy Grail to getting trim. If it were up to David D, everything is still on the playground. When boy likes girl, boy makes fun of girl, and girl likes it.

What he doesn't tell you is that the girl has to like you first, before any of that BS takes place.

It sounds to me like you're going a bit overboard. A girl that hangs out with a bunch of guys though isn't what i would consider someone to go after long term anyway.

She slandered your character in front of your friends, wouldn't giver her the time of day anymore and you shouldn't.

 

[Jack McCrack]

I'm not emotionally attached to her so cutting her off would be extremely easy.

However, I see her pretty much an every-other-day basis, sometimes every day.

What should I do if she approaches asking me why I'm so distant?

(Also, she complained to them about her always having to compete for my attention, as I never make her the focus of my day/evening. Can aloofness and distance go too far? Or is she just testing my willpower?)

 

[tmpgstx]

From my own situation, it happened to me. It was an AW (just looking for ego boost/attention). She strung me along, and i became a sad sap for it. Finally one day i saw her with a couple of dudes getting fresh (she and a friend), and told her if she basically wanted a chance with me, this was unacceptable.

She did just what AWs' do - got all defensive bigtime, and of course i was then the bad guy. Now she tries to get me to acknowledge her by flashing a candid smile etc.

Be stern. The worst thing you can do to this type of girl is blow her off. She'll be begging for your attention to pacify her insecurities about not being what she thought. Try it, bet it works guaranteed.

 

[Jack McCrack]

Thanks for the advice man.

And now that I really look at her, she IS an AW.

I know now that I hold the trump card that is my attention and my ability to bring out her insecurities.

I'll experiment with this one.