99% sure gf is cheating

[penkitten]

there are times when all people need a little space , but i find it hard to believe that a chick can go weeks without speaking to her favorite guy unless there is something big happening.
so unless she is ill, or a family member is very ill or on a death bed, she has had time to get back with you and fill you in on all the horrible things going on and have you comfort her about it.
come on, you even asked to meet up on the 4th of july, (independence day of penkitten birthday blast) one of the most exciting holidays of the year, and she outright said no?
its because someone else asked her to a bbq/party/fireworks ...

bible, you and i have known each other a long time on here, so i say this in the best way i can and as bluntly as i can...
let's cut the crap, cut the contact and try to cut the feelings.
once you do, if she loves you, she will contact you and she better be ready to pay a little remorse for the dis respectfulness of this whole ordeal.
if she wants to break up and all, she should be woman enough to tell you, be respectful enough of you and your friendship to do so.

sometimes life seems really shi tty.

 

[CGE333]

BB,

My honest answer is this girl is long gone. You can still let her control your life or you can take control of your life back.

I been there before and know it isn't easy-especially if it is someone you really like, but at this point this girl has zero attraction and interest in you. Unfortunately like many women (and men) she does not have that guts to tell you either to your face or on the phone.

If it helps at all and if you try and think rationally about (almost impossible to do while your in the mix) does a woman that you really want to be with act/behave this way?

 

[penkitten]

looks like my post worked the first time...

 

[STR8UP]

Now, I would avoid like the plague ANY woman that has the MySpace or any other online community network. That is, I would no go into a serious relationship with one. I don't have time for women that has nothing better to do other than been on her azz in MySpace.

You're showing your age, homes.

People under 25 pretty much ALL have a Myspace account. As you get up into the 30's quite a few are on it, including myself. The ladies I know use it mainly to keep up with friends in faraway (and not so faraway) places. they aren't on there chatting up random guys.

Times are a changin'. To automatically disqualify a woman who has a Myspace account....well, I guess that's more for me, so do as you wish.

Sorry, just calling it as I see it

 

[joekerr31]

myspace is the space between her legs right?

 

[Hitman10000]

Wow that sucks, move on dude there are lots of other women in your area that are willing to date you. But before you actually go out..seems like you may be hurting a little bit so I recommend you figure yourself out and while you're doing that,..improve yourself, look for buddies...etc

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Keep us posted BB!

 

[Pimp-sicle]

2) your relationships is OVER the moment your girl refuse to talk to you. its OVER OVER OVER. it couldn't be more dead if you shot it in the head with a panzer tank. she officially wears the pants from here on in and you are her b*tch - its OVER.

3) my general rule is that if i THINk a woman is cheating, if my gut is telling me that she is, then i act on that instinct. If she wasn't, oh well, she should have done a better job of not making me suspect that she was. I'M THE PRIZE - not her! SHE has to qualify being with me, not the other way around.

Bible Belt,


In my opinion what Joekerr said above ^^^^^ is all you really need to internalize. Furthermore, look at the situation as it has been recently. 5 hours away, suddenly acting very distant, refusing to answer your calls. Just stop, take a step away and leave it alone for awhile. Regain your footing and deal with the situation when she returns to town.

Good luck bro.



PIMP

 

[##17]

Here is how I see it. The question isn't really whether or not your (ex)girlfriend is cheating. The question is whether or not your girlfriend already checked out of the relationship, and we both know the answer to that is yes.

The only way for you to keep your self-respect at this point is to get your tv and tell your girlfriend that it is over. And don't contact her after that either.

 

[squirrels]

LDR

She lives in the ghetto and loves it,

facebook

myspace profile

Sounds like a real winner you've got there..

She gave me a key to her apartment before she left, and I have a big tv over there that I am going to take back if she is cheating.

You gave her your TV??

It sounds like you know what you need to do. It's never a "wrong decision" to stay with OR break up with a girl if it makes you happier.

 

[jonwon]

When we broke up five months ago, another guy left a message on her facebook saying it was hot that she was single and asking her out. In the description of him in their friends it says, "they hooked up and it was amazing." Last month, she changed her myspace profile to private. I found his, which is private as well, and I can tell that she has posted on his profile, although not when or what. He is about 30 minutes from where she lives. Also, she's hardly ever on myspace the past few days, which is what she's like when she and I are together. If her interpersonal needs get met, she's not that interested in myspace.
?

The relationship was over there^^ the rest is simple damage control.

So you find out she has been cheating, does it matter?

Is it going to Massage your ego? in that you can think it was a long distance thing?

Is your ego at work here?
What i am trying to say is:
If you met this chick and its been a week would you be acting like you are?

If it was me who was posting, what advice would you give me?

Think about it Bible-

Imo the relationship ended when you two split up the first time, hardly any relationships work out the second time around, it's just simple damage control from both sides!

The damage is done, who knows what caused it! In fact it matters little, the fact is it's here! The point is instead of wondering how the damage happened, lets wonder how to fix it, or in that replace the broken item!

How to fix it:

For starters you need to test how 'into you' this chick is.

First you stop all contact and make is so she contacts you, when she ask's whats wrong you state:

'I can sense us growing more and more distant, i need to know how you feel about me and i dont want any female type womanise answers'. I think we are growing more and more distant and i need to know if i am wasting my time with this relationship'.

Let go of ego and find out the facts on how it really is from her, then decide what to do.

If she does not contact you, then take it has a sign to enjoy being single you lucky fuc*er, why ppl want a relationship i will never understand anyway, being single is far far better

Stop sacrificing self worth and self respect for what fundimentally is a pus*y that is either good to be with or dam cra* to be with, which one is it for you?

how much is that puss* worth hanging on for?

I for one would have been out looking for another one by now, or at the 'i need a break stage', would have put in damage control, when a women says that, her interest level is dipping fast! and it takes a dam lot of effort to restore it, sadly that effort to restore it aint gonna be easy whislt she is many miles away and other guys are clearly in the picture in some form or another.

The relationship was over 5months ago, even if it not a women asking for time apart is never a good sign, never a good sign at all, i would say her Interest level is about 50% right now and your in a dangerous place, how to restore it?

If you want the simple best answer without the feeling you have thrown in, it would be to get a women with a higher interest lvl!

Long distance relationships dont work normally, esp' ones where the other partner is willing to entertain members of the opposite sex! even if there fuc*ing them or not.

Imagine for a second i wrote this about a girl i was seeing who was being messaged by a guy on facebook stating he wants to date her and then she starts emailing him back, what would be your advice?

i happens to us all, sadly we can try to improve in all areas, but that does not mean the partner we choose will do the same, western women, bah keep em

good for fuc8ing and thats about it, oh granted there maybe some great ones about, but reading this stuff is only testiment how fikkle women can be, it's her loss buddie!

If she does not know how to keep a guy like you then her loss, why should you loose sleep over it?

 

[Bonhomme]

joekerr31, Latinoman, STR8UP, et. al. are right on. Whatever the case may be, it looks like she's not LTR material based on IL or character.

I don't sense a good enough vibe for her to be good for FB purposes or be much of a friend at this point. Best to just pick up the TV and cut her off.

 

[DjVelvet]

its easy to cope and deal with these scenerios when you took action. not sure why, but you heal much quicker if you at least stood up for yourself a bit. so many guys beg until their last breath, and then find themselves alone - and what hurts the most is not losing the woman, but having lost their pride.

Interesting point that makes me wonder about in my past broken relationships when i was a ***** (I dare to admit).

I always beg until my last breath and let the extreme pain of break up ruin me...

I was wondering, Joekerr..
If the guy is the one whom stood up for himself and walk away, does it hurt much lesser than the guy whom beg to the last breath?? Let's be honest here, sincerely curious to know.

(Sometimes, i find that holding on to the last breath may utterly destory your hope towards her, and you tend to suffer hard but short period of time)

Hope you get what i mean.

 

[DjVelvet]

one last thing. the ONLY thing that keeps you or any other man in a bad relationship is the fear of being alone.

conquor that fear and knowing what to do becomes much much simplier.

Totally true....

 

[joekerr31]

I was wondering, Joekerr..
If the guy is the one whom stood up for himself and walk away, does it hurt much lesser than the guy whom beg to the last breath?? Let's be honest here, sinc.

yes it hurts more because you lose the girl and feel like a chump.

at least if you walk away you dont feel like a chump.

but i suppose it may hurt more if you are hte type of guy who makes a decision to second guesses yourself endless about it.

personally when i make a decision i dont question whether it was the right thing to do. i make it and i move on.

i mean, i'm not saying walk at every little thing. but when your girl wont even answer your phone calls - its time to walk, whether shes cheating or not. to wait around for her to officially tell you that she never wants to speak to you again is not goign to make it easier.

i guess i just have too much self respect to let anyone disrespect me and still be begging for them to keep me around. just doesn't compute in my head.

 

[Sinistar]

Dump her and the TV (neither is helping you move forward with your life)

HB's are always focusing their attention somewhere - if it ain't you bro, it's someone else.

So I say you have a bit of fun with the ending. AMOG the other guy by covertly triggering her ASD. When she finally calls and tells you she is seeing someone else (which will happen ) then covertly imply she's being slvtty by seeing someone else before breaking it off with you. Be very indirect and indifferent as you elude to it.

Then vanish. Invest zero energy towards her (no dwelling, analyzing, wondering, etc). Get back into your hobbies, friends and before you know it you'll be spinnin' plates again.

Some relationships are not meant to last forever. This just happens to be one of them. There is no evil agenda or grand scheme on her part, she just lost interest for whatever reason. Combine that with her being a woman, just like any other, and that's how these things end.

You didn't make any mistakes - you just did what you did and things turned out this way instead of that. That's just life. We can analyze it endlessly yet we can never go back and do it over. And that is the key. We can never go back and do it over. All we can do is MOVE FORWARD with our lives, learning from our past while watching out for #1 first. And by some strange twist of evolution and social programming, that seemingly selfish Alpha-based attitude towards life tends to attract the better ones. So why not go there (from here)!

 

[Mr.Positive]

Dump her and the TV (neither is helping you move forward with your life)

I think he should get the TV! It's his TV. It sends her the message that he's more concerned with the TV at this point, not her disrespectful actions, and not the status of their relationship.

Also, she can sit there staring at the blank wall with no TV, dust and all, and realize how stupid she's been, how she just lost a great guy.

The TV drives the point home...IMO.

 

[Sinistar]

Actually, she'll just go over to the other guys place, screw his brains out and watch his TV until she "manipulates" him into bringing it to her place.

I say let her keep the TV. He'll be off living his life while she watches it with some other dude. Eventually he'll ask where she got the cool TV and she'll either have to lie or fess up. If she lies, he'll sense it. If she tells the truth he'll just realize she's a hor (okay, that was nod to LMS) who collects TV's.

Meanwhile, BB is cleansing himself of the rot of TV and going on to live a much better life with the HB's who could give a sh!t less about TV.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Me having a key to her apartment is probably keeping her from confessing. I am definitely going to get the TV. That apartment is also full of other sh!t that I bought for her. It would be tempting to gut the place of all my gifts, but I won't.

What do I say when I run into her friends and they ask about her? I would like to at least be able to dump the b!tch, but there does not seem to be any way to get closure.

 

[CGE333]

In my experience the only way to get closure is by going out with someone else that you really like and forgetting about her.

And don't worry about her regretting splitting w/ you when the next guy treats her badly, most women don't put that much thought into their lives.