9 newbie questions about game

[geekymicky]

I'm a new signup to the site. 43 year old British male, fairly unsuccessful with women (6 lays in my lifetime that I have not had to pay for). But keen to learn.

Reading through the site, and other material, I have some questions. Please regard these as questions, not criticisms - I genuinely am keeping an open mind about all of this, and would value the feedback of those of you who know what you are talking about.


1. The basic principles that are taught, that women are attracted to dominant men who take charge. Does this apply to ALL women?
Aren't there ANY women who like guys for being nice guys? Not even 5% of the more intelligent or charitable of them perhaps?


2. Women will have sex on the night, or within 20 minutes, with alpha males who show their dominance over them and other males. Is this ALL women who will do this? Or only some of them?
Why would any woman do this in so short a timescale, given that (in nature) they will be lumbered with a baby to look after. Would it not make sense for a woman to refuse to have sex with an alpha male until he had demonstrated that he wanted to be with her for a long time (and therefore to look after the baby)?
i.e. why will women WANT to have sex with ANY guy until they are happy that he will be around to support her offspring?


3. "Game" is about making yourself a real MAN, not just successful with women. Part of good "game" is to build a better social circle.
But I don't want a better social circle - I just want to screw a few more women. I get bored with socialising with other guys - I prefer to spend my time on my passions, which are mainly learning facts and exploring life on the internet.
Does the fact that I get bored with social interaction preclude me from having a good sex life, in terms of "game"?


4. I am 43 years old, earn quite a lot, and have over half a million dollars in savings. Yet I choose to live with my parents. Why? For financial reasons.
Yes I can afford to buy or rent an apartment, but they are expensive, and since I have no sex life, what's the point?
Should I choose to spend that money and buy an apartment, purely to help me get laid?
Really I am minded to say - screw you - I'm not spending $300,000 on an apartment just so that you women can regard me as someone worthy of giving you a f**k.
Am I right or wrong? And more importantly - why?


5. My life has been a series of periods of angst at not getting women, followed by periods of not caring at all.
I have just finished a period of not caring at all, and now want to get jiggy. Funnily enough this was triggered by a holiday to Thailand where I spent 2 weeks shagging loads of women, including threesomes. But none of it for free. OK this is not a question, just a boast. Or a lament


6. If "game" is so central to the ability of all successful men (successful at getting women) why is there NO mention of it as a concept in established mainstream media. OK yes there are occasional articles about it, but always as something novel and niche. In the mainstream media there is the established fact that men have wives and partners, but when there is a discussion about the man's actions he is always saying that he likes a woman for her personality and hobbies etc - there is no mention about his mindset and game techniques to do this. If game is so important, why is this not mentioned?
The only concept that is mentioned is where they say a guy is a "womaniser". But they don't explain at all what it is about his technique that allows him to successfully bed all of these women - it is put across that it is a choice that he is making, not that it is an achievement.


7. Around 50% of girls on dating websites say they are not looking for a 1 night stand. Is this correct? Or are they actually happy to do this but are unwilling to admit this to themselves or on an online forum? Should you persue these girls for sex, or is it better to move on to those who don't say this?


8. One of the "gurus" who I have read in the past, R Don Steele, says that an older guy should start on attracting older women (his own age) first, in order to build up confidence. And only then work your way younger if you want. Is this good advice?
Where are good places to meet single women in their 40's?


9. Finally I came across one dating "guru" on youtube who seems to have a more relaxed approach to day game, saying that you should genuinely try to make the girl's day better, rather than be on a mad rush to gather numbers. This, he says, will help you feel less guilty and hence more relaxed and natural.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLC9_Bai_ts

But is he right? Is his advice good advice?


Thanks!

 

[apprenticedj]

Let me first say welcome. This forum has loads of great material that can help you better understand the true nature of modern women (taking the red pill).

These are my responses and they are in no way "right", just my observations.

1. The majority of women, yes. Women SAY they want nice guys and I'm sure some women do want that. However they don't DESIRE nice guys, they desire the physically and socially dominant Alpha male. This is evident by their ACTIONS NOT WORDS. Use the golden rule of SS, words are worthless.

2. I'm no evolutionary biologist but it seems that this primal attraction towards the Alpha male is what causes them to throw caution to the wind and hook up quickly. Also women today, especially younger women, don't think of the long term as much as we've been led to believe. Often they just simply want to bang an attractive guy, offspring be damned.

3. Not in its own right but having a limited social circle will close you off to many opportunities that a broader social circle will present. Nobody is saying you need to have a million friends, in fact having a few like minded ones will trump that any day.

4. Being 43 and living at home, for any reason, is a turn off to women. Not saying it's right, you should be applauded for being sensible and being able to save up a huge amount. IMO If you have that kind of savings I would suggest AT LEAST renting something. After all, as you hinted at, it's incredibly difficult to slam chicks while mom and pops are watching TV in the other room. You need PRIVACY my friend.

5. Awesome, now use that momentum to get some free sex. I truly believe using prostitutes can become a crutch much like porn. You start thinking "why bother?". You can get what you want for a simple exchange of currency, why try in real life? I would suggest avoiding or limiting both.

6. Because the manosphere and game related material still has the popular perception of being a bunch of nerds trying to learn tricks to get laid. Basically it is attempting to teach something that comes natural to the Casanovas of the world to clueless guys.

7. Not true, see the end of my first response.

8. Sounds reasonable, it's a basic concept of education. If you want to start playing the guitar you're going to fail miserably if you pick the solo from Stairway to Heaven as your first piece of music. Likewise you need to start low to build your confidence step by step. Start with a realistic assessment of yourself i.e. where you rank of the scale (1-10). Are you a solid 7? Then start gaming the 5's. Are you a 4? Slim pickings my friend. The point is, if you're lacking a tight game you have to start somewhere.

9. Your goal with day game, especially in the foundational stage of your development, is simply to have positive interactions with strange women. You should be in no way ending every conversation by asking for the number! In fact if she's talking and your mind is running laps waiting for your chance to ask it's already over. IMO it needs to be an organic thing, not an inevitable event. Think of it this way, you've noticed her, you find her attractive and now you want to find out a bit more. Just focus on talking naturally and seeing how the rapport is. Day game is much easier if you have a relaxed attitude.

I hope I helped in some way, best of luck to you and please stick around.

 

[MtnMan]

2. The alpha male is perceived to have strong genetics and thus would give the woman's offspring a better chance of survival. This is the primal attraction to alpha males.
Don't try to use logic with women.

 

[zekko]

My answers in bold:

1. The basic principles that are taught, that women are attracted to dominant men who take charge. Does this apply to ALL women?
Aren't there ANY women who like guys for being nice guys? Not even 5% of the more intelligent or charitable of them perhaps?

First off, you have to understand that when pickup sites talk about "nice guys", they're talking about a stereotype that they have built up. It doesn't mean that you have to treat women like garbage (although some recommend this). A stereotypical "nice guy" is a wimpy guy who is hesitant with women, is afraid to be sexual with them, and will tend to want to do things for them to "make" them like them. These guys are desperate, inexperienced, and will probably follow them around like puppy dogs.

There's nothing wrong with men being dominant, that's what we're here for. Men and women are opposites. Just like we appreciate femininity, they appreciate masculinity. That means being strong, bold, courageous, and taking the lead. Women will not appreciate a guy who is afraid of his own shadow or of a tiny girl who has a pair of breasts. Embrace your masculinity.

2. Women will have sex on the night, or within 20 minutes, with alpha males who show their dominance over them and other males. Is this ALL women who will do this? Or only some of them?
<snip>i.e. why will women WANT to have sex with ANY guy until they are happy that he will be around to support her offspring?

I don't think ALL women will sex up an "alpha" within 20 minutes. But girls are emotional creatures, and if they are attracted to this guy, they will tend to go with their gut instinct and have sex with him rather than think it through and then make a rational decision. From an evolutionary standpoint, they want the best genes for their offspring (a tall, handsome dude, let's say). They can always find some schmuck to cuckold later.


3. "Game" is about making yourself a real MAN, not just successful with women. Part of good "game" is to build a better social circle.
But I don't want a better social circle - I just want to screw a few more women. I get bored with socialising with other guys - I prefer to spend my time on my passions, which are mainly learning facts and exploring life on the internet.
Does the fact that I get bored with social interaction preclude me from having a good sex life, in terms of "game"?

Not liking social interactions will not stop you from having a good sex life, but it sure isn't going to help you, either.
By the way, I'm not fond of the term "game", it just sounds cheap and vulgar to me. All it really means is your ability to interact with the opposite sex, and attract and seduce them. There are a variety of ways to do this. Every guy has "game", even if it's not very effective.

4. I am 43 years old, earn quite a lot, and have over half a million dollars in savings. Yet I choose to live with my parents. Why? For financial reasons.
Yes I can afford to buy or rent an apartment, but they are expensive, and since I have no sex life, what's the point?
Should I choose to spend that money and buy an apartment, purely to help me get laid?
Really I am minded to say - screw you - I'm not spending $300,000 on an apartment just so that you women can regard me as someone worthy of giving you a f**k.
Am I right or wrong? And more importantly - why?

Does an apartment really cost $300,000 where you live? That seems pretty steep, but the cost of housing varies widely by location.

Anyway, I understand your thoughts about living with your parents in order to save money, and the way the economy is going, I'm not sure I can blame you. I would not go get your own place to live solely in order to get laid. But I would consider whether or not there might be other reasons and benefits to get out on your own: personal growth, independence, standing on your own two feet, etc. And maybe you could find a place where you could live more frugally for less than $300,000.


5. My life has been a series of periods of angst at not getting women, followed by periods of not caring at all.
I have just finished a period of not caring at all, and now want to get jiggy. Funnily enough this was triggered by a holiday to Thailand where I spent 2 weeks shagging loads of women, including threesomes. But none of it for free. OK this is not a question, just a boast. Or a lament

Why would you boast about having to pay for sex? Thai women are hot though!

6. If "game" is so central to the ability of all successful men (successful at getting women) why is there NO mention of it as a concept in established mainstream media. OK yes there are occasional articles about it, but always as something novel and niche. In the mainstream media there is the established fact that men have wives and partners, but when there is a discussion about the man's actions he is always saying that he likes a woman for her personality and hobbies etc - there is no mention about his mindset and game techniques to do this. If game is so important, why is this not mentioned?

Like I said before, all "game" means is your ability to interact, attract, and seduce women. It doesn't mean you have to use PUA techniques, although those kind of tricks are becoming more mainstream as more guys become aware of them.


7. Around 50% of girls on dating websites say they are not looking for a 1 night stand. Is this correct? Or are they actually happy to do this but are unwilling to admit this to themselves or on an online forum? Should you persue these girls for sex, or is it better to move on to those who don't say this?

They say that the more that they maintain they are not looking for a one night stand, the more promiscuous they really are. I've never used online dating, however I do know some women who do. And it does seem to be correct that the slvttiest ones are the ones who protest the most in their profiles that they are not just out for sex. I suppose this is what they call ASD (Anti-Slut Defense) - they don't want to be judged as sluts. But I have no real idea why this phenomenon exists.


8. One of the "gurus" who I have read in the past, R Don Steele, says that an older guy should start on attracting older women (his own age) first, in order to build up confidence. And only then work your way younger if you want. Is this good advice?
Where are good places to meet single women in their 40's?

Building confidence is good, but he might as well tell you go fvck a bunch of fat girls to start with. My personal opinion is that you should try to date whatever girls you want, I don't care about age.

9. Finally I came across one dating "guru" on youtube who seems to have a more relaxed approach to day game, saying that you should genuinely try to make the girl's day better, rather than be on a mad rush to gather numbers. This, he says, will help you feel less guilty and hence more relaxed and natural.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLC9_Bai_ts

But is he right? Is his advice good advice?

I am a big proponent of genuinely trying to make the girl's day better. I'm influenced on this topic by PUA guru Tyler from RSD. He says that you should always be trying to "Give Value" instead of taking value. See, if you are a needy guy, you are trying to TAKE value, or validation, from a girl. But if you are a guy who already HAS value, then that means you can give that value to other people. Mainly by interacting with them. Make her day, give her the gift of a good time.

 

[Colossus]

I'm a new signup to the site. 43 year old British male, fairly unsuccessful with women (6 lays in my lifetime that I have not had to pay for). But keen to learn.

Reading through the site, and other material, I have some questions. Please regard these as questions, not criticisms - I genuinely am keeping an open mind about all of this, and would value the feedback of those of you who know what you are talking about.


1. The basic principles that are taught, that women are attracted to dominant men who take charge. Does this apply to ALL women?
Aren't there ANY women who like guys for being nice guys? Not even 5% of the more intelligent or charitable of them perhaps?

For the most part yes. You can be a nice guy, but you need to have an edge, or some hard boundaries. No woman wants a milktoast wimp.


2. Women will have sex on the night, or within 20 minutes, with alpha males who show their dominance over them and other males. Is this ALL women who will do this? Or only some of them?
Why would any woman do this in so short a timescale, given that (in nature) they will be lumbered with a baby to look after. Would it not make sense for a woman to refuse to have sex with an alpha male until he had demonstrated that he wanted to be with her for a long time (and therefore to look after the baby)?
i.e. why will women WANT to have sex with ANY guy until they are happy that he will be around to support her offspring?

Women will naturally seek the best genetics they can find, regardless of his long-term reliability. Alpha males display strong genetic traits, like strength, dominance, and health. She doesn't necessarily NEED him to stick around. The reason why is that so long as she is attractive, she can find a beta or omega male to swoop in and "rescue" her, taking care of her and her bastard offspring. It's the best of both worlds in an evolutionary sense for the woman.


3. "Game" is about making yourself a real MAN, not just successful with women. Part of good "game" is to build a better social circle.
But I don't want a better social circle - I just want to screw a few more women. I get bored with socialising with other guys - I prefer to spend my time on my passions, which are mainly learning facts and exploring life on the internet.
Does the fact that I get bored with social interaction preclude me from having a good sex life, in terms of "game"?


Somewhat. Get more hobbies besides the internet.


4. I am 43 years old, earn quite a lot, and have over half a million dollars in savings. Yet I choose to live with my parents. Why? For financial reasons.
Yes I can afford to buy or rent an apartment, but they are expensive, and since I have no sex life, what's the point?
Should I choose to spend that money and buy an apartment, purely to help me get laid?
Really I am minded to say - screw you - I'm not spending $300,000 on an apartment just so that you women can regard me as someone worthy of giving you a f**k.
Am I right or wrong? And more importantly - why?

That's amazing you have saved that much, but get a fvcking apartment if you want to get laid.


5. My life has been a series of periods of angst at not getting women, followed by periods of not caring at all.
I have just finished a period of not caring at all, and now want to get jiggy. Funnily enough this was triggered by a holiday to Thailand where I spent 2 weeks shagging loads of women, including threesomes. But none of it for free. OK this is not a question, just a boast. Or a lament

No comment.

6. If "game" is so central to the ability of all successful men (successful at getting women) why is there NO mention of it as a concept in established mainstream media. OK yes there are occasional articles about it, but always as something novel and niche. In the mainstream media there is the established fact that men have wives and partners, but when there is a discussion about the man's actions he is always saying that he likes a woman for her personality and hobbies etc - there is no mention about his mindset and game techniques to do this. If game is so important, why is this not mentioned?
The only concept that is mentioned is where they say a guy is a "womaniser". But they don't explain at all what it is about his technique that allows him to successfully bed all of these women - it is put across that it is a choice that he is making, not that it is an achievement.

Because Game goes against the greater feminine imperative. By that I mean that Game does not serve women's selfish agenda, and it's certainly not politically correct enough to discuss in the media. Women want nothing more than for us men to be bumbling oafs who look pretty and have a functioning d1ck and wallet. Women want to be served, paid for, excused of their mistakes, and given privilege for having a vagina. Then they want us to fund their dreams of a house and children and nice things. They will never say these things explicitly, but male Game does not serve these ideals.


7. Around 50% of girls on dating websites say they are not looking for a 1 night stand. Is this correct? Or are they actually happy to do this but are unwilling to admit this to themselves or on an online forum? Should you persue these girls for sex, or is it better to move on to those who don't say this?

100% of girls WILL have a one night stand with the right guy under the right conditions. Few will admit it openly.


8. One of the "gurus" who I have read in the past, R Don Steele, says that an older guy should start on attracting older women (his own age) first, in order to build up confidence. And only then work your way younger if you want. Is this good advice?
Where are good places to meet single women in their 40's?

That's reasonable advice. Baby steps.

9. Finally I came across one dating "guru" on youtube who seems to have a more relaxed approach to day game, saying that you should genuinely try to make the girl's day better, rather than be on a mad rush to gather numbers. This, he says, will help you feel less guilty and hence more relaxed and natural.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLC9_Bai_ts

Not bad advice either. Guys who get all cranked up for approaches come off as obsessive.

You've gotten great responses already so I wont add much. My thoughts in red.

 

[geekymicky]

Those are great answers. Thanks very much, all of you, for your feedback!

Very interesting about the women who say they don't want a one night stand on their online profile are actually lying, and the reverse might be the case. I think I'll start messaging them now online. (But I guess you guys think that online dating is a bit "beta" so you don't approve of it - But I'm getting a bit off-topic).

I think I'm going to try doing some more day game over the next few days. The trouble is it is difficult to get my mind on the right track when doing it because I was brought up to regard "grown up" women as ladies, and you must not be rude around ladies - and any mention of anything to do with sex was rude. I know I need to MTFU!

I did do quite a lot of day game two years ago, and blogged it (google search: geekymicky blogspot) and got a couple of phone numbers out of it, and one date, but I gave it up after being spoken to by the police about it (in a shopping centre - the staff had already told me to stop doing it, but I carried on anyway lol) and getting laid with a 45-year old woman I met with night game in a bar. I then lost interest in women until my Thailand trip this year re-kindled it.

The other problem I have is that with some women, normally the ones who are local to the area, are scornful when I try to chat them up. It is as if they think I am a pervert and loser, and are disgusted. I can hear them thinking "I wish my boyfriend was with me - he'd give this guy a smack".
That's not all of them, just some. But it is enough to make me think that I am not making their (collective) lives better when I am out day gaming. I live my life on the basis of trying to make the world (with me in it) a better place.

As for the "Apartment" question, perhaps while I am learning, and only getting lays occasionally, I'll invent myself as someone who lives a long way away but who is working locally but living in a hotel. Then when I want to get jiggy with a girl, I just book a room in a local hotel, and there you go. I don't need to mention my parents at all.
Then when I am getting skirt on a more regular basis I can consider getting an apartment when I know I'll be using it more.

 

[sodbuster]

One thing no one mentioned.... Women WANT sex, but want to be able to say "it just happened" SO, you need to bait the hook with a reason OTHER than sex to get her back to your apartment. Some guys mention they play guitar... she asks to hear them play... at his house. You may have an art collection, brew your own beer or wine, etc.

Once I was talking to a woman and said"my house is a mess, I'm refinishing my kitchen table. She wanted to see it....at 100 in the morning.... I don't know what excuse they need, but they all seem to need one

 

[stephenbaldwin]

Welcome aboard. First things first, try not to overthink all of this. At the end of the day, they are only women. Love and treat yourself. Go on a kick ass multi-country vacation (and not in Europe bc that's too easy since you are in England). Do something that you've always wanted to do but just never committed to: international travel, skydiving, swimming with sharks, whatever. The point is do things that will instill confidence in yourself, not make you look cool in someone else's eyes.

Once you cultivate that confidence, women wont matter. And as life is typically ironic, that's when the women come. You have to work toward being the best version of yourself. And I don't mean this as a cliché.

If you want a simple cheat that has always worked for me: before barhopping on a Friday/Saturday night, take a small but healthy amount of mdma. Do this because it will put you in a great mood, make you smile, destroy your reservations about approaching groups of women and make you more sociable with complete strangers. The groups of women thing is key-don't approach a lone girl. Ever approached 2-3 women in conversation in a lounge with a smile, just to ask for their advice about an online date that went horribly wrong and presto 2 or 3 minutes you're in a conversation with two women? It takes balls, and women want balls.

 

[bugsquish]

Great questions. Some thoughts from me:

1. The basic principles that are taught, that women are attracted to dominant men who take charge. Does this apply to ALL women?
Aren't there ANY women who like guys for being nice guys? Not even 5% of the more intelligent or charitable of them perhaps?

You don't have to be dominant, just confident. I think "nice guy" has become synonymous with weakness and failure to act. But it's so much more complex than dominant vs weak. Confidence will allow you to hold eye contact, subtly express your interest, interpret an open response and then act on it. The action is the key. You can be "nice" and a gentleman, I am, but don't pass up on opportunities to make the move. Taking a chance and failing is better than nothing.

2. Women will have sex on the night, or within 20 minutes, with alpha males who show their dominance over them and other males. Is this ALL women who will do this? Or only some of them?
Why would any woman do this in so short a timescale, given that (in nature) they will be lumbered with a baby to look after. Would it not make sense for a woman to refuse to have sex with an alpha male until he had demonstrated that he wanted to be with her for a long time (and therefore to look after the baby)?
i.e. why will women WANT to have sex with ANY guy until they are happy that he will be around to support her offspring?

In nature, many monogamous species will cuckold a beta male while secretly being impregnated by an alpha. It's a tough one because the females want the alpha genes above all, but an alpha by his very nature is not a long term prospect. Society and religion has messed with this programming in humans and, while biologically programmed to respond, plenty of women do exactly what you described: waiting for a commitment. But there are also plenty who will have sex on the spot if you push the right buttons and have an opportunity. And also if you read the signs you can tell which type of girl you are dealing with very quickly. She will communicate it to you either consciously or unconsciously. Never forget that women LOVE sex! If they are horny and they think it will be good, chances are they will be up for it.

3. "Game" is about making yourself a real MAN, not just successful with women. Part of good "game" is to build a better social circle.
But I don't want a better social circle - I just want to screw a few more women. I get bored with socialising with other guys - I prefer to spend my time on my passions, which are mainly learning facts and exploring life on the internet.
Does the fact that I get bored with social interaction preclude me from having a good sex life, in terms of "game"?

I get pretty bad social anxiety and definitely feel more at ease with women I've been intimate with. But social skills are integral to attracting and connecting with decent women. Having a circle of friends (both men and women) helps through introducing you to new girls and giving social proof, as well as improving your social skills. You can probably get by without a huge social circle, but I wouldn't underestimate the power of being social.

4. I am 43 years old, earn quite a lot, and have over half a million dollars in savings. Yet I choose to live with my parents. Why? For financial reasons.
Yes I can afford to buy or rent an apartment, but they are expensive, and since I have no sex life, what's the point?
Should I choose to spend that money and buy an apartment, purely to help me get laid?
Really I am minded to say - screw you - I'm not spending $300,000 on an apartment just so that you women can regard me as someone worthy of giving you a f**k.
Am I right or wrong? And more importantly - why?

I think there is more to getting your own place than to get women. A bit of independence and being able to focus more on yourself and what you need to improve. This would probably help with your social life as well. But to put it bluntly, the second you tell a woman you live with your parents you're painting a picture of yourself as emotionally (and possibly financially) dependent. Not to mention the fact that you don't really have anywhere to take her.

5. My life has been a series of periods of angst at not getting women, followed by periods of not caring at all.
I have just finished a period of not caring at all, and now want to get jiggy. Funnily enough this was triggered by a holiday to Thailand where I spent 2 weeks shagging loads of women, including threesomes. But none of it for free. OK this is not a question, just a boast. Or a lament

I know a guy who has gone so long without sex he managed to convince himself that he's not interested anymore. It's an excuse to not make an effort. It's a trap!

6. If "game" is so central to the ability of all successful men (successful at getting women) why is there NO mention of it as a concept in established mainstream media. OK yes there are occasional articles about it, but always as something novel and niche. In the mainstream media there is the established fact that men have wives and partners, but when there is a discussion about the man's actions he is always saying that he likes a woman for her personality and hobbies etc - there is no mention about his mindset and game techniques to do this. If game is so important, why is this not mentioned?
The only concept that is mentioned is where they say a guy is a "womaniser". But they don't explain at all what it is about his technique that allows him to successfully bed all of these women - it is put across that it is a choice that he is making, not that it is an achievement.

Being able to attract a member of the opposite sex is something that is fundamental and natural. The concept of "womaniser" and "slut" are societal constructs that are frowned upon. But it's not really mainstream news. Game is a subculture construct and its not really important. If you are happy and confident and put yourself in places where you can get what you want, then you'll get it. As you just experienced in Thailand

7. Around 50% of girls on dating websites say they are not looking for a 1 night stand. Is this correct? Or are they actually happy to do this but are unwilling to admit this to themselves or on an online forum? Should you persue these girls for sex, or is it better to move on to those who don't say this?

There's that social stigma about being labeled a slut. The first rule of ONS is you dont talk about ONS, you just do it. If you want a one night stand, best bet is a club. If you want a purely sexual encounter using a website, use something like adultfriendfinder. Dating websites in my experience are used by attractive girls only when they are looking for Mr Right but have failed to find him in real life.

8. One of the "gurus" who I have read in the past, R Don Steele, says that an older guy should start on attracting older women (his own age) first, in order to build up confidence. And only then work your way younger if you want. Is this good advice?
Where are good places to meet single women in their 40's?

All I can think of is day game. Talk to women in the park, on the street, supermarket. Probably won't be single but no harm trying. Only one way to find out!

9. Finally I came across one dating "guru" on youtube who seems to have a more relaxed approach to day game, saying that you should genuinely try to make the girl's day better, rather than be on a mad rush to gather numbers. This, he says, will help you feel less guilty and hence more relaxed and natural.

Yep, this is good advice!