Colossus
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2005
- Messages
- 3,505
- Reaction score
- 547
I’ve done a few of these “recap” posts over the years, and I noticed that each one gets a little bit simpler. That’s because the essence of success with women really isn’t as complicated as it’s made out to be.
I don’t even remember how I found this place; I think I was just googling how to talk to women and this is what popped up, lol. My first few years here were fraught with over analysis, despair, and a catalytic LTR that played a huge role in who I am today. Like most guys I had some marginal success with women—mainly based on my looks---but I never had any measure of confidence or grasp of game and would always seem to end up on the losing end of things because I was such a puss with girls.
I think the majority of coming into your own with women and relationships happens through maturity and life experience, not theory. Theory can give you sort of a mental backdrop to place things into context, but when you are naïve to this material you are so impressionable and the myriad opinions can easily become a convoluted mess in your mind. There are a lot of ‘academic’ game experts, but they have no battlefield confidence to put their knowledge into action. Being a keyboard DJ is no different than being an “expert” diver who has never gotten in the pool.
The definition of DJ is subjective, too. Younger guys tend to define it as the ability to quickly bed lots of women. Older (30+) guys tend to look at the big picture; that is how their success with women fits into the overall picture of their life. Success is really what you decide it should be. For some it will be a complementary marriage or LTR where you hold leadership, for others it will be just dropping as many panties as possible from hot 20 year-old legs. And really it doesn’t matter, as long as you understand the game changes depending on what your objective is. Being an aloof, ****y as$ can work wonders in the pick-up phase, but will get you nowhere in an LTR. You can’t just ignore your wife/gf and scoff at her needs and expect to get what YOU want out of the relationship. Conversely, you can’t dote on her hand and foot and expect that will translate to more BJs and the upper hand for you. Use the right tool for the job, and learn BALANCE, Jedi.
Much of game is understanding how women think and behave, but before you can do that you need to have your own house in order. Following are the THREE core tenets of what it takes to be successful with women, no matter what your objective is. These NEVER change, they are constants. If you nurture and tend to these three things in your life, all the little details and nuances of how to handle certain situations will fall into place without you trying to decipher them.
1. INTEREST LEVEL. This is the most important aspect of success with women!!! Even more important than confidence. What?!? What did he just say….more important than confidence?? That’s right. Because even confidence can’t always make a women interested in you. Your woman’s interest in you is the MOST IMPORTANT facet of any relationship. All roads in a relationship lead to interest level. Everything from the way she treats you, to the way she handles conflict, to the frequency she fvcks you, all come down to interest level. Now here’s the qualifier: there are things you can do to AUGMENT interest level, but you cannot create it. That’s right, attraction is not a choice. Her interest in you has to be there from the beginning! If it isn’t, you are fighting an uphill battle and will ultimately lose, despite any transient spikes you might be able to conjure. Anti-Dump was right, and that’s probably why he left so early, because he had it figured out already!!
2. Confidence. NOW we come to confidence. Confidence is really self-explanatory. Every guy knows either intuitively or actively that confidence is a universal attractor of women. So how do you develop confidence?? Well, it really all stems from liking yourself. I know that sounds gay, but if you don’t like yourself, you will project that in your interactions with women! You have to like and be comfortable with who you are. It sounds too simple, I know, but that is one thing all confident men have in common. They are comfortable with who they are, and people pick up on this. Now, that doesn’t AUTOMATICALLY mean you’ll be successful with women. There are plenty of confident dweebs out there who don’t get laid. This is where self assessment and self improvement come in. Also understand that confidence will ebb and flow throughout your life. You aren’t always going to feel like a king. Which brings me to---
3. Balance. We all know that a woman should never be the CENTER of our life, right?? Well, this is just another way of expressing balance. Balance is important not only in attraction (i.e. you need to be fit or muscular, have a progressive or stable career in order, keep a good group of buds, and pursue plenty of hobbies) but it is vital for your own personal well-being. There are going to be times when you are in a veritable DESERT; when the last woman is beyond your rear view mirror and the next is nowhere on the horizon. This is when the balance you have developed over the years in the other aspects of your life will pull you through. Being a balanced Man will also keep a woman INTERESTED in you, which the #1 thing in being successful with them! When your time is divided between other things that ARE NOT her, this stirs up something very basic and primal in their psyche and she will be MORE drawn to you, because she perceives your time and attention is valuable. You see how it all fits together?? It’s really not as complicated as it’s made out to be.
Now there will certainly be times when you are scratching your head wondering what the fvck is up with your woman. That’s what this place is for, and that’s what your own powers of assessment and analysis are for. You have the ability to step back, look at the big picture and reason it out; but I caution you, DON’T OVERTHINK IT!!! This is all too easy to do, when most often the answer will present itself if you just keep doing. Remember, those that do, keep doing; and those that don’t…don’t!
I don’t even remember how I found this place; I think I was just googling how to talk to women and this is what popped up, lol. My first few years here were fraught with over analysis, despair, and a catalytic LTR that played a huge role in who I am today. Like most guys I had some marginal success with women—mainly based on my looks---but I never had any measure of confidence or grasp of game and would always seem to end up on the losing end of things because I was such a puss with girls.
I think the majority of coming into your own with women and relationships happens through maturity and life experience, not theory. Theory can give you sort of a mental backdrop to place things into context, but when you are naïve to this material you are so impressionable and the myriad opinions can easily become a convoluted mess in your mind. There are a lot of ‘academic’ game experts, but they have no battlefield confidence to put their knowledge into action. Being a keyboard DJ is no different than being an “expert” diver who has never gotten in the pool.
The definition of DJ is subjective, too. Younger guys tend to define it as the ability to quickly bed lots of women. Older (30+) guys tend to look at the big picture; that is how their success with women fits into the overall picture of their life. Success is really what you decide it should be. For some it will be a complementary marriage or LTR where you hold leadership, for others it will be just dropping as many panties as possible from hot 20 year-old legs. And really it doesn’t matter, as long as you understand the game changes depending on what your objective is. Being an aloof, ****y as$ can work wonders in the pick-up phase, but will get you nowhere in an LTR. You can’t just ignore your wife/gf and scoff at her needs and expect to get what YOU want out of the relationship. Conversely, you can’t dote on her hand and foot and expect that will translate to more BJs and the upper hand for you. Use the right tool for the job, and learn BALANCE, Jedi.
Much of game is understanding how women think and behave, but before you can do that you need to have your own house in order. Following are the THREE core tenets of what it takes to be successful with women, no matter what your objective is. These NEVER change, they are constants. If you nurture and tend to these three things in your life, all the little details and nuances of how to handle certain situations will fall into place without you trying to decipher them.
1. INTEREST LEVEL. This is the most important aspect of success with women!!! Even more important than confidence. What?!? What did he just say….more important than confidence?? That’s right. Because even confidence can’t always make a women interested in you. Your woman’s interest in you is the MOST IMPORTANT facet of any relationship. All roads in a relationship lead to interest level. Everything from the way she treats you, to the way she handles conflict, to the frequency she fvcks you, all come down to interest level. Now here’s the qualifier: there are things you can do to AUGMENT interest level, but you cannot create it. That’s right, attraction is not a choice. Her interest in you has to be there from the beginning! If it isn’t, you are fighting an uphill battle and will ultimately lose, despite any transient spikes you might be able to conjure. Anti-Dump was right, and that’s probably why he left so early, because he had it figured out already!!
2. Confidence. NOW we come to confidence. Confidence is really self-explanatory. Every guy knows either intuitively or actively that confidence is a universal attractor of women. So how do you develop confidence?? Well, it really all stems from liking yourself. I know that sounds gay, but if you don’t like yourself, you will project that in your interactions with women! You have to like and be comfortable with who you are. It sounds too simple, I know, but that is one thing all confident men have in common. They are comfortable with who they are, and people pick up on this. Now, that doesn’t AUTOMATICALLY mean you’ll be successful with women. There are plenty of confident dweebs out there who don’t get laid. This is where self assessment and self improvement come in. Also understand that confidence will ebb and flow throughout your life. You aren’t always going to feel like a king. Which brings me to---
3. Balance. We all know that a woman should never be the CENTER of our life, right?? Well, this is just another way of expressing balance. Balance is important not only in attraction (i.e. you need to be fit or muscular, have a progressive or stable career in order, keep a good group of buds, and pursue plenty of hobbies) but it is vital for your own personal well-being. There are going to be times when you are in a veritable DESERT; when the last woman is beyond your rear view mirror and the next is nowhere on the horizon. This is when the balance you have developed over the years in the other aspects of your life will pull you through. Being a balanced Man will also keep a woman INTERESTED in you, which the #1 thing in being successful with them! When your time is divided between other things that ARE NOT her, this stirs up something very basic and primal in their psyche and she will be MORE drawn to you, because she perceives your time and attention is valuable. You see how it all fits together?? It’s really not as complicated as it’s made out to be.
Now there will certainly be times when you are scratching your head wondering what the fvck is up with your woman. That’s what this place is for, and that’s what your own powers of assessment and analysis are for. You have the ability to step back, look at the big picture and reason it out; but I caution you, DON’T OVERTHINK IT!!! This is all too easy to do, when most often the answer will present itself if you just keep doing. Remember, those that do, keep doing; and those that don’t…don’t!
