I suppose those depends on whether or not you want her back. I guess since you are bringing it up that you have some type of interest in salvaging the relationship, if for no other reason than your kids. I would honestly say though, especially if one or both of you decided to separate, how do you salvage that? What happens the next time you go through a rough patch? Do you separate again? Is all that back and forth good for the kids anyway?
If you've gotten to the separation stage, it's highly unlikely imho, that you're going to somehow magically find the solution to whatever issues drove you to separate in the first place. I don't want to rain on your parade but be serious, if it was you, most likely, you literally got to the end of your rope and it was separate or literally have an epic meltdown. Guys usually put up with more sh*t these days before throwing in the towel. We're hard wired gluttons for punishment. How in the f*ck does anyone think the world got this advanced anyway, by people throwing up their hands and giving up at the first sign of trouble?
If it was her, you might as well give up anyway. If she drove the train to separation and she's got you nibbling at reconciliation, she'll have you chasing after that forever. Oh, just a little bit more and I'll give you that reconciliation that you're after.
So, I'll ask again, why in the f*ck do you think that bending over backwards to be nice is going to fix anything? It's most likely at least part of what got you to that point in the first place. Have fun, do what you want and if she's going to be there, she'll be there, regardless of all of that kind of stuff. If she's not, she's not, no amount of a$$ kissing you do will make much of a difference.
All, women, I REPEAT, all women have a what have you done for me lately type of vibe going constantly. You could do 50 nice f*cking things for them and if they even perceive that you've done something they deem sh*tty, all of those 50 things are forgotten about. Do WHAT YOU WANT! She'll either be there or she won't but at least you won't have to worry about whether or not you enjoyed yourself.