6 Red Flags I’ve Seen in Real Life Worth Considering

[self_is_an_illusion]

Honestly I keep pointing this out.

Girls who are raised without a father, have a whole bucket load of issues.

Most BPD/NPD types come from Single mom households.

Most have been ran through, promiscuous girls tend to come from Single mom households.

The point you make about girls raised without a father are more likely to get into abusive relationships is actually very true.

However it can go the other way too. Girls raised without a father growing up, lacked decipline from a masculine father figure, who set boundaries for her, she also never learned how to treat a masculine man with respect, considering a masculine man was never in the household.

These types of girls are more likely to treat men like crap, disrespect men and detest boundaries form male authority.

It's painful to like a girl with these flaws. You want to see her in the best possible light, but then she gets involved with someone else and tells you about it. It's disappointing; I thought she was angelic.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

t's painful to like a girl with these flaws. You want to see her in the best possible light, but then she gets involved with someone else and tells you about it. It's disappointing; I thought she was angelic.

When you pedestal a woman, she knows she can look down on you.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

However it can go the other way too. Girls raised without a father growing up, lacked decipline from a masculine father figure, who set boundaries for her, she also never learned how to treat a masculine man with respect, considering a masculine man was never in the household.

These types of girls are more likely to treat men like crap, disrespect men and detest boundaries form male authority.

In my experience women who lacked a strong masculine presence in their childhood seek that masculinity in a lover, because she needs someone to look up to.
However, a lot of guys have trouble keeping their 'frame' and treat the woman as the 'gatekeeper to sex' and other ridiculous notions that disappoint women seeking masculine traits in their lovers. And in her disappointment she will indeed treat that guy like crap. And she will hop from one disappointment to another, leaving a trail of messed up guys.

 

[soulforge]

In my experience women who lacked a strong masculine presence in their childhood seek that masculinity in a lover, because she needs someone to look up to.
However, a lot of guys have trouble keepingmab their 'frame' and treat the woman as the 'gatekeeper to sex' and other ridiculous notions that disappoint women seeking masculine traits in their lovers. And in her disappointment she will indeed treat that guy like crap. And she will hop from one disappointment to another, leaving a trail of messed up guys.

This is very true, however many of these damaged girls are unable to appreciate masculine men. They grew up without boundaries, without discipline, essentially they was raised by the streets.

Decipline/boundaries is an alien concept.

When you meet BPD you don't try to fix her with "Frame" and try to give her that masculine energy she never got growing up.

You smash and then you fvking run!

 

[soulforge]

When you pedestal a woman, she knows she can look down on you.

Damaged or not damaged.. You don't put any chick on a pedestal.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

When you meet BPD you don't try to fix her with "Frame" and try to give her that masculine energy she never got growing up.

Actually, I meet quite a few women with BPD/NPD. And I help most of them by being unattainable, which is a frame.

 

[soulforge]

Actually, I meet quite a few women with BPD/NPD. And I help most of them by being unattainable, which is a frame.

Good for you. However the vast majority of men should not mess around with broken/damaged woman.

You might be the exception, especially if you want to fuk and nothing more.

Most guys fall for these chicks and get destroyed.

Red flags are there for a reason.

It's not a man's job to try and fix a damaged girl with his frame.

It's best to smash and keep it moving.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Good for you. However the vast majority of men should not mess around with broken/damaged woman.

Oh, I totally agree.
I counsel people with C-PTSD, so I meet quite a few damaged women. And in my experience it's all about keeping your frame, your boundaries. The moment they feel they can play you, you will get played.

 

[soulforge]

Oh, I totally agree.
I counsel people with C-PTSD, so I meet quite a few damaged women. And in my experience it's all about keeping your frame, your boundaries. The moment they feel they can play you, you will get played.

Off course, but in a relationship type situation with these girls, you won't be able to hold frame 24/7 day in, day out, years/decades on end, children involved.

Anyone with a single braincell knows "don't pretend you're some super human FRAME master super chad.. Your a human being.

These damaged hoes will ruin most people.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Off course, but in a relationship type situation with these girls, you won't be able to hold frame 24/7 day in, day out, years/decades on end, children involved.

That is difficult even with non-damaged women.

But I've had poly relations with damaged women for years without problems because I established my boundaries right from the start and since I always have other options, they manage to curtail their quirks. Or they leave.

 

[RickPound]

In my experience women who lacked a strong masculine presence in their childhood seek that masculinity in a lover, because she needs someone to look up to.
However, a lot of guys have trouble keeping their 'frame' and treat the woman as the 'gatekeeper to sex' and other ridiculous notions that disappoint women seeking masculine traits in their lovers. And in her disappointment she will indeed treat that guy like crap. And she will hop from one disappointment to another, leaving a trail of messed up guys.

This is kind of what I’ve figured out. No so much in treating them like gatekeepers or putting them on a pedestal, but they crave the strongest male frame you can think of - unrealistic for most men - and want you to treat them like a princess, daughter, sex slave, etc all at once. The more damaged they are, the more constant validation they need from their “man” to keep their thoughts off the damage from their past.

B*tch, sometimes I have other **** to do and if me not calling her back right away is gonna trigger her fear of abandonment and drive her to go out and cheat, then damn, who wants to put up with that.

With BPD, you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Try to fix em, you’ll get burned. Try not to fix em, you’ll still get burned

 

[RickPound]

It’s best to always be the “other guy” with damaged women. Never try to LTR one. I’ve done both. You never want to be the BF unless you’re just as ****ed up as her.

 

[soulforge]

This is kind of what I’ve figured out. No so much in treating them like gatekeepers or putting them on a pedestal, but they crave the strongest male frame you can think of - unrealistic for most men - and want you to treat them like a princess, daughter, sex slave, etc all at once. The more damaged they are, the more constant validation they need from their “man” to keep their thoughts off the damage from their past.

B*tch, sometimes I have other **** to do and if me not calling her back right away is gonna trigger her fear of abandonment and drive her to go out and cheat, then damn, who wants to put up with that.

With BPD, you’re damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Try to fix em, you’ll get burned. Try not to fix em, you’ll still get burned

This is spot on.

Most of these (Daddy Issues) girls are addicted to attention.. Literally like a fvking drug.

They will cheat on you, the moment you stop validating her or literally cannot be there for her all the time.

They are Hypergamous on steroids.. If a bigger better more masculine option comes along, they will take it.. Even if he's your best friend.

 

[soulforge]

It’s best to always be the “other guy” with damaged women. Never try to LTR one. I’ve done both. You never want to be the BF unless you’re just as ****ed up as her.

The problem is, most men, especially blue Pill men, don't recognise the signs and become attached, because of the great sex and love bombing.

By the time they realise something is up, they are addicted and formed a trauma bond with her.

It's the Empath types that end up in a relationship with BPD and eventually get fvked over.

Always ask her about her relationship with her father & if she shares something about trauma in her childhood, Sexual abuse, mentions Bipolar or depression.. It's time to run lol

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

It’s best to always be the “other guy” with damaged women. Never try to LTR one. I’ve done both. You never want to be the BF unless you’re just as ****ed up as her.

They know I'm not boyfriend material, so I establish boundaries right out of the gate and if they don't keep to them they lose me.

 

[soulforge]

They know I'm not boyfriend material, so I establish boundaries right out of the gate and if they don't keep to them they lose me.

When you say they lose you, do you simply cut contact? I like your strategy by the way of being crystal clear about boundaries, especially I like the fact that your strict on phone usage in your company.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

When you say they lose you, do you simply cut contact? I like your strategy by the way of being crystal clear about boundaries, especially I like the fact that your strict on phone usage in your company.

I establish boundaries. When they're about to cross boundaries, I will remind them of the boundary. If they ignore a clear warning, I break with them. However, I don't need NC in order to move on.
Some women will try to orbit me, try to re-connect. I let them orbit, since it keeps the other kittens in line.

 

[Rainman4707]

Im in a realtion

From my experiences and observations, here are some red flags that really stand out:

Continued Close Contact with Exes: When someone can’t seem to cut the cord with their exes, it often screams boundary issues or an inability to let go of the past. Sure, it’s fine to be friendly with an ex, but if your new partner is overly involved with theirs, you’re likely heading for a world of unnecessary drama and trust headaches.

Sleeps with a Lot of People: A track record of jumping from bed to bed can be a glaring warning sign of mismatched relationship goals. If they’re known for their extensive romantic escapades, brace yourself for potential conflicts over monogamy, commitment, and even sexual health.

Sexual Abuse Victim: Dealing with a partner who’s a sexual abuse survivor is no walk in the park. They come with a suitcase full of intense emotional issues. It takes a ton of support and understanding to handle this, and not everyone’s cut out for it.

Anxiety Disorder: Entering a relationship with someone who has an anxiety disorder can be like walking on eggshells. Their constant worry and stress can be draining, not just for them but for you as well. It’s a condition that requires patience and understanding, and let’s be honest, it can be a real test of your own mental and emotional stability.

Grew Up Without a Dad: Lacking a father figure often leaves behind some deep emotional scars. These individuals might grapple with trust issues or a fear of being left alone, adding extra layers of complexity to a relationship.

Past Pregnancies: Having been pregnant before, especially if they’re still tied up in co-parenting, opens up a whole can of worms in terms of extra responsibilities and emotional baggage. It’s a situation that demands a lot more than the usual relationship readiness.

Have you guys seen any of these and how did it play out?

Im in a LTR with one for 9 months. Yes, she is HARD work. Most posters on here advised me to steer clear of her. I think they are right.

However i dont regret my decision. She is very hot and iv'e had sex with her pretty much every night. I've enjoyed the ride with her...made some fantastic memories.

Rightly so the don juan advice is dont settle. However...I was fed up of years of one night stands and swipe apps.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Rightly so the don juan advice is dont settle. However...I was fed up of years of one night stands and swipe apps.

It's a general advice, not just DJ. Don't settle.
You want to go LTR, fine, but don't do it with someone problematic. Even if they're 'hot'. The hotness fades eventually, the problems are there to stay.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Im in a LTR with one for 9 months. Yes, she is HARD work. Most posters on here advised me to steer clear of her. I think they are right.

Good for you, I think most guys want LTRs and are just on a copefest when they can't get one. Any idiot can get a ONS.