6 months of bliss, and it's over

[xectxny19x]

I thought this was girl was different. Understanding, patient and sweet. It separated her from the other girls. I go away for 3 days, can't wait to get back to her, and then it's like I come back to a different girl.

All of a sudden, she gets testy and even a little disrespectful. Pretty much came out of left field for me. This is NOT the girl I fell for.

I know girls have their sh!t tests, but I thought this was in the early stages of getting to know each other. We're half a year in, and now she's pulling this stuff?

I don't know. From reading other guys' experience, it seems to go downhill from here. I've blocked all communication from her.

Fellas. What are your insights?

 

[hover411]

man up, show her her place. she will respect you for it.

 

[Igetit!]

I thought this was girl was different.

That was your first mistake,lol. :crackup:

I go away for 3 days, can't wait to get back to her, and then it's like I come back to a different girl.

Well that's weird.

All of a sudden, she gets testy and even a little disrespectful. Pretty much came out of left field for me. This is NOT the girl I fell for.

Something's up here. There's not enough info to determine exactly what the deal is,but I would look at how things were between you two maybe in the week before you left

Unless she's nuts or something,she wouldn't just switch up on you for no reason.

I know girls have their sh!t tests, but I thought this was in the early stages of getting to know each other. We're half a year in, and now she's pulling this stuff?

Yes,women do have their little tests in the beginning because they don't know you when you approach them. Thw WHOLE POINT of the test are to see if you're a MAN or not.





Therefore,the more manly/masculine you are,the LESS she'll test you.



Yes,they test in the beginning,but if you soften up in the relationship after dating her for a while,reguardless of how long you two have been together,she'll start testing you again.




Check yourself to see you have been AFCish or somewhat "soft" lately.

I don't know. From reading other guys' experience, it seems to go downhill from here.

Well if you two are still together,but are just struggling talking with one another,you can start "manning up" and re-establish control in the relationship.



Stand up for yourself,she wants you to. She doesn't want to be able to walk all over you,BUT...she'll try,so you'll need to be ready.




Don't TELL HER you want respect,just DEMAND IT.


You need to pass her tests. If not,your relationship will be pure torture.



She'll continue testing you. And the more you fail,the WORSE she'll behave,and this'll continue either until you get a backbone,or she gets tired of toying with you,then moves on.



Check out this post here. Don't worry,it's not 10 pages of a thread to read. In fact,it's not a thread at all. It's just one single reply.




Maybe it can help you get things back on track.

 

[zekko]

All of a sudden, she gets testy and even a little disrespectful. Pretty much came out of left field for me. This is NOT the girl I fell for.

It could be that Aunt Flo is visiting, that can drive some of them batty for a few days a month.

Or it could be that you are starting to see her real self. When you first meet a woman they are usually on their best behavior to create a good impression. Then after awhile they let their guard down and the real beyotch comes out. I think you have to wait a MINIMUM of six months before you can even begin to think you might know the real person.

 

[Ease]

It could be a whole number of things, but u know 1 thing for certain.

Its an interest level problem.

Whatever happened, shes suddenly giving off strange vibes and your gut instinct tells you something is up.

 

[DonGorgon]

I just went through the same ting mine lasted 3 weeks then she transformed..

That transformation is a side effect of her having developed interest in another dude and now finding you and me to be frustratingly undesirable. She has fallen out of sync with us and finds us annoying cause she wants him now..

An Fbuddy/friend of mine told me that women these days are simply cutting men off with silence instead of giving a breakup speech cause too many men are acting crazy when the woman tries to break up with them in a nice way

 

[xectxny19x]

I broke up with her that day and blocked all communication from her. I'm just sitting tight for the week. I miss her. :nervous:

 

[Blue Phoenix]

“A beautiful woman should break her mirror early”. - Baltasar Gracian

Which means "Leave while it´s still good, or while it´s starting to sink". Love it while it lasts but bear in mind that nothing lasts forever. That´s the motto we must live by.

 

[John_Valido]

I thought this was girl was different. Understanding, patient and sweet. It separated her from the other girls.

Some girls are more understanding, patient and sweet. That's for sure. But that doesn't mean when you find one - you can let your guard down, become soft and expect everything to be smooth sailing. Women test. Women test. Women test. And in most relationships (when the man doesn't maintain a strong frame) - the more they test - the more control they get - the less they act like the one you fell in love with.

I go away for 3 days, can't wait to get back to her, and then it's like I come back to a different girl.

This is a little strange. Without taking the "she found another man" route - im going to ask - - - how much did you communicate this to her while you were gone? Possibly - you went away and the impression was given (through your source of communication) that you missed her a lot more than she missed you. Perhaps, you went away and she found herself not missing you. Perhaps, she found herself enjoying her time away from you. CRAZY! I know... But besides her finding another man - that's the most viable option i can think up.

This is NOT the girl I fell for.

Man, i've heard that a million times from men. I've found myself saying it with past girlfriends as well (these days - i've found my one). The only way to get them back once they have the power to change on you - is to do exactly as you have done. The only chance you have of regaining the girl you lost - is by her getting away from you and realizing what she had in you. This does not mean it WILL happen - but it's the only chance you have. Staying with a woman who is being disrespectful and out of line suddenly - will only give her the idea that she can act like that even more with you. Unless you know how to put her in line - this will happen over and over from here on.

I know girls have their sh!t tests, but I thought this was in the early stages of getting to know each other. We're half a year in, and now she's pulling this stuff?

While it does happen more in the early stages. It never stops. Even a super dominate alpha male will get tested from time to time... Like i said - fail one test and there will be many more coming much faster.... It's like she sees a hole and will run at it hard and the wider that hole gets - the faster she'll come at it.


I'm assuming in my response that when she threw her change at you - you didn't handle it well... Ala: Failed her sh!t tests, etc.... Asked her why she was acting that way? stuff like that?

 

[xectxny19x]

I told her "bye." Met up a few hours later, and she seem excited and happy to see me. She seem like she was back to the girl I fell for :crazy: , but I had already made up my mind and broke up with her. Asked her to be friends. Right now, I'm taking a little break from her. Maybe we'll get back together and maybe not.

I did think about just not communicating with her for a week. But for some reason, my gut instinct told me to break up with her instead. When woman get testy, it's just . I'm not going to stick around. If she goes back to the girl I fell for and wants to get back together, then maybe. But for now, that first test turned me off from her.

Not gonna lie though, I miss her a lot.

 

[WaterTiger]

Something happened while you were gone.

*Her girlfriends ganged up on her and told her what a loser you were
*She met a new guy
*Her cat died
*Trouble at work or school
*She was pissed because of lack of communication from you during your absence.

 

[Badmannaz]

I thought this was girl was different. Understanding, patient and sweet. It separated her from the other girls. I go away for 3 days, can't wait to get back to her, and then it's like I come back to a different girl.

All of a sudden, she gets testy and even a little disrespectful. Pretty much came out of left field for me. This is NOT the girl I fell for.

I know girls have their sh!t tests, but I thought this was in the early stages of getting to know each other. We're half a year in, and now she's pulling this stuff?

I don't know. From reading other guys' experience, it seems to go downhill from here. I've blocked all communication from her.

Fellas. What are your insights?

yea that's 4 sure the sign you know the ride is on the SLopes now my good friend sorry...the dead give away is the "Different girl" aspect...whenever you get this girl you didnt fall for your pretty much expired to her....dont cry and dont go crazy!! just keep doing what your doing and find another girl the same way you find her...watch for characteristics of this girl and heed any mistakes you could have made yourself and try to improve them next time....


but whatever you do dont go back...guys mess up putting a woman above them and end up being the one catching the sh*T end of the stick

 

[Badmannaz]

It could be that Aunt Flo is visiting, that can drive some of them batty for a few days a month.

Or it could be that you are starting to see her real self. When you first meet a woman they are usually on their best behavior to create a good impression. Then after awhile they let their guard down and the real beyotch comes out. I think you have to wait a MINIMUM of six months before you can even begin to think you might know the real person.

this is also very true....only after 6 months of knowing a girl will she reveal her true self....the very same scenario happened to me and drove me crazy because i just didnt know enough....but yea she's done....NEXT

 

[Badmannaz]

I told her "bye." Met up a few hours later, and she seem excited and happy to see me. She seem like she was back to the girl I fell for :crazy: , but I had already made up my mind and broke up with her. Asked her to be friends. Right now, I'm taking a little break from her. Maybe we'll get back together and maybe not.

I did think about just not communicating with her for a week. But for some reason, my gut instinct told me to break up with her instead. When woman get testy, it's just . I'm not going to stick around. If she goes back to the girl I fell for and wants to get back together, then maybe. But for now, that first test turned me off from her.

Not gonna lie though, I miss her a lot.

dude anybody would miss somebody they've been around for 6 months...but i promise you...you just manned up....if she comes back (MAYBE) but if i where u i would not speak to her for a couple months and get with other chicks......you cant afford for this sh*t to happen again with her or any other girl for that matter TRUST THE BROS!!! BROS B4 HOEZ!!!!!

 

[xectxny19x]

Update

Ok. You guys may or may not be disappointed with me. I swear I took all your insights to heart! Maybe I'm just being clouded by my obvious feelings for this girl.

I talked to her on Monday. About 2 days after the break up? It feels like a while since then. She seem really sad, and my best friend kept telling me how sad she was. When she was being testy, I broke up with her a couple of hours afterwards. Since I felt bad, I asked her if she wanted to talk in case she wanted some closure. It was awkward at first. As we talked, we just got back together.

No testy and weird 180s since then though. Not sure what to think. I read on the board is to act like sh!t tests don't affect you. But I obviously showed that it affected me by breaking up with her a couple of hours afterwards. I guess it's between acting like it doesn't bother you or being able walk away.

Thoughts?

 

[WaterTiger]

Did she give you a concrete reason for her misbehavior?:yes:

Did she promise not to do it again?:nono:

Most importantly...DID SHE APOLOGIZE???????:flowers:

 

[Proselytiser]

Ok. You guys may or may not be disappointed with me. I swear I took all your insights to heart! Maybe I'm just being clouded by my obvious feelings for this girl.

I talked to her on Monday. About 2 days after the break up? It feels like a while since then. She seem really sad, and my best friend kept telling me how sad she was. When she was being testy, I broke up with her a couple of hours afterwards. Since I felt bad, I asked her if she wanted to talk in case she wanted some closure. It was awkward at first. As we talked, we just got back together.

No testy and weird 180s since then though. Not sure what to think. I read on the board is to act like sh!t tests don't affect you. But I obviously showed that it affected me by breaking up with her a couple of hours afterwards. I guess it's between acting like it doesn't bother you or being able walk away.

Thoughts?

She's gonna hold this against you bro. She will use it every way she can to control the frame. If you break up with a girl it should (99% of the time) be for good, especially if it was only 6 months long. That's why you shoulda put more thought into it.

 

[The Decay of Meaning]

Well, at least now you showed that you can do without her, that she is expendable, and she probably has more respect for you because of that.

 

[WC2]

She cheated on you.

Okay, maybe not. But probably.

Most, if not all women need at least 1 man. Without this '1 man' who they have comfort and warmth for, they become insane and go on a (slut)hunt to find a new one.

Women who only need 1 man in their lives always want a man they

1. Feel a connection with
2. Are mentally and physically attracted to
3. Feel as if he is 'the best' she can get

Okay. Now that that's out of the way, let's go back to your situation.

Your woman was clearly in love with you before you left. Now you got back and OMG WHAT HAPPENED?

I don't really think it's too hard to tell.

She met someone else. Now, the only reason she would ever put this person above you is #3 - she feels that he is the best she can get.

If she feels as if he is the best, she is probably physically/mentally attracted to him as much or more so than you.

So this leaves ONE thing. The connection.

And mark my words.. if she believes she can get this man, she has already made a connection. AKA she has cheated on you.

I hate to sound so pessimistic, but I prefer to think of it as realistic.

And I hate to make you feel like sh!t, but I feel it's my obligation to tell you before you find out from someone else.

Why? Because it's happened to me. And it really does happen that QUICKLY.

My GF of 2 years turned cold on me in 2 days when she went on vacation a long time ago. She was moody on the phone to me, she told me that she didn't to talk to me and I didn't do a damn thing! And then I asked her if there was anyone else? Of course she said no.

Come to find out, there was. And she started dating him (while I was still f*cking her) until he found out as well that she was a cheating branch swinger as well.

Now look. Of course there could be other problems. She could have some family problems. She could have found out something really bad.

But wouldn't you be the first person she wants to share these things with? Wouldn't she want to spend time with her lover?

The answer to all these questions is sadly, yes. And if one of those things actually happened, she'd be by your side like glue.

Things may look grim now, but there IS light at the end of the tunnel. There are better women to move on to.

Take my word, it is a tough thing to deal with and it will take time. But the sooner you come to terms, the easier it will be.

DO NOT accuse her of cheating on you.
DO NOT ask her why she's mad at you.

Just stop talking to her. If you DEARLY love this girl and you NEED her in your life (which no man should need any woman in their life btw), then you cannot start talking to her till she pays her dues.

This means she needs to explain WHY she was so mean to you and she needs to earn your respect back, or she is out. If you do not tell her this, she will always have the ability to treat you like sh!t without being reprimanded.

There is always the possibility that she 'thought' she liked someone a lot and has since decided to stop liking him. Or simply he stopped reciprocating to her, so she has gone back to you. Either way, she made the move to swing.. whether she's still on the branch or not. Only time will tell what really happened/is happening. It's also completely likely that you won't find out at all. It's tough.. and for your sake I hope I'm wrong.

Best of luck..

 

[playerone]

Ok. You guys may or may not be disappointed with me. I swear I took all your insights to heart! Maybe I'm just being clouded by my obvious feelings for this girl.

I talked to her on Monday. About 2 days after the break up? It feels like a while since then. She seem really sad, and my best friend kept telling me how sad she was. When she was being testy, I broke up with her a couple of hours afterwards. Since I felt bad, I asked her if she wanted to talk in case she wanted some closure. It was awkward at first. As we talked, we just got back together.

No testy and weird 180s since then though. Not sure what to think. I read on the board is to act like sh!t tests don't affect you. But I obviously showed that it affected me by breaking up with her a couple of hours afterwards. I guess it's between acting like it doesn't bother you or being able walk away.

Thoughts?

You broke up with her not because the sh!t test got to your head.

You broke up with her because you don't tolerate disrespect.