6 Months NC – Should I Unblock My Ex?

[soulforge]

So it’s been 6 months solid NC since I changed my mobile number & blocked my ex from every platform.

I don’t know why, but the last few weeks I have started to miss her a lot more.

I want your opinion on how to proceed forward. Below I will outline as briefly as possible what went wrong.

It was a 2 year relationship & we lived together 4 months of it.

At my age 42, this was the hottest female I ever pulled, and the most successful one (yes she had her chit together)

The relationship was long distance, but not by loads (1 hour) drive each way. But we both worked full time, on my days off she would mostly be working, and on her days off I would be working, this made things difficult to meet up.

The only possible way we could meet, was if I swapped my working shifts around , in order to be off on the same day as her, as my job was more flexible.

I began to resent doing this, as I felt like I was making the bigger effort in the relationship.


Firstly The Things I Did Wrong

I gave her a relationship / commitment too soon, without her proving she was worth committing to. I should have made her earn it & I should have screened her much better.

Maybe I gave her too much of my time. It was usually once a week we met, pushing it twice, but I should have cancelled occasionally, just to keep her on her toes.

At the end of the relationship, she finished it with me & I tried talking to her to work things out (This Shifted The Balance Of Power Towards Her) I should have let her walk. She did get back with me, but then I dumped her few weeks down the line.


What Did She Do Wrong

Three months into the RS, a serious incident of disrespect against me, for which I immediately dumped her (on her birthday) two weeks of constant text messages from her, and I caved in & got back with her. (Big Mistake)

Everything was good for a while, we began to plan living together, she decided she would have her job transferred over nearer to me, so then we can rent a house & live together.

Then another two incidents of rudeness and disrespect, not as serious as before, but it definitely made me feel uneasy about her, I began to have doubts about moving to a new property with her, gut instinct did not feel right.

Christmas 2016, another serious incident of disrespect, she called me out in front of friends and her family, embarrassed me, when I bought this up with her, she TOTALLY blamed me, no apology, or acceptance of wrong doing at all.

By now she was living with me, A few weeks after Christmas she tells me, that she is leaving. She blamed ME for ruining Christmas, told me I had anger issues, because I got angry with her for embarrassing me in front of her family.

She packed her chit and transferred her job back to her home town. I didn’t bother stopping her, & showed her the fuking door.

3 weeks of NC and she calls me out of the blue. We both agree that we got along better, when we saw each other long distance, and moving in together was done too soon.

We get back together, couple of weeks in, she starts creating drama’s over little petty things, her behavior becomes somewhat chitty, mostly because of her own insecurities!

Eventually I call her up on the phone, and I tell her I’m not happy with her behaviour, she cuts me off the phone mid sentence, because she did not like being called out.

She didn’t turn up for our date that night either, and I didn't hear anything from her for 3 days.. I decided enough was enough & i'm not willing to put up with this crap any longer, so I dumped her.


Pure 100% NC ever since!

Here is my dilemma. I still have my old mobile sim card and I feel tempted to check it and unblock her.

So what’s stopping me?


01. I put the sim card back in and not a word from her? (I’m going to feel a little bad about that)


02. I put the sim card in & realize she has been trying to get back together with me, months ago? (Could end up feeling some possible regrets for missing out)


03. I put the sim card in and it’s nothing but breadcrumbs, and i’m exposed to more BS (old feelings resurfacing back)

I really can’t see any way back with this female.. We can never live together again.. She would never transfer her job over here to be with me again, and I do not trust her enough to give up everything, to move closer to be with her..

80% of me tells me, I need to keep moving on and forget this dead end relationship.. 20% is thinking.. What If? What If?

Long distant relationship, with no chance of ever properly being together, living together etc.. feels like I would be wasting my time with her!

 

[Billtx49]

You had your own reasons for your past decision. Support your commitment to yourself and your resolve.

 

[Thatfeel21]

Write a list down and weigh the pros and cons. Why not invest your energy into a woman who deservea it. At 42 you should know women dnt change

 

[amoka]

You got it all wrong buddy. The NC is not for you to secretly hope for your girl calls you back. NC=NC.

 

[Dingo]

6 months ?.... What makes you think she wants you back ?... She was having sex with some other dude or dudes weeks after you split up....

Keep NC and move forward.....

 

[soulforge]

6 months ?.... What makes you think she wants you back ?... She was having sex with some other dude or dudes weeks after you split up....

Keep NC and move forward.....

To be fair, wanting her back is not really an option.. If I wanted her back I would have tried sooner.. I was more considering whether I should just unblock her, mostly out of curiosity, also because I am over the hardest part of the break up.

 

[Billtx49]

I was more considering whether I should just unblock her, mostly out of curiosity.

Cool embers can reignite. Better to leave it be.

 

[lizardking82]

Here's the thing, buddy. I stayed full no contact from my ex for three full months after 1 month of the whole thing being dragged down the road. Then I got this same desire and feeling you got and I was asking myself "what if she wants me back, but cause she hurt me, she doesn't have the face to talk to me?". It was a wrong thought, of course, but sometimes, especially in cases like this one, thoughts like this stick to your head like an important phone alarm that won't go away.

No matter how many "don't do it" you will get on the forum, your doubts will be there. I will not tell you what to do, but I will tell you what I did. I wrote to her even though there was no sense in doing that. She answered friendly way cause she a nice girl no matter what, we had a couple of chats and we ended up fighting again in just 2 days. The last bit of hope I had was smashed into my face.

Sometimes, you need to feel how useless it is, you need to feel it, see it, taste it, taste her coldness or her ignoring you. It puts your mind at ease and at peace and it makes you stronger. I am not telling you what to do, though, this is too personal of a thing.

 

[ZTIME]

Here's the rule book and the level you may wish to pursue after a break up.

1: I'm fvckn awesome and I can replace that chick in a heart beat!

2: I let myself go and it's going to be harder to replace her. (Needy guy sneaking in).

3: since she has left I haven't gotten into the physical form or mentality that I was in when I met her.

4: life actually sucks with out her now I need answers..... SS defined

5: I'll never replace her, I need to go back.

6: I will call, text, and do anything I can, (which includes sliding down a razor blade into a pool of alcohol) to get back together.

7: I will trick her into drunken sex, blow a load and make her mine forever.

8: If I can't have her no one can! Boom!! Guns a blazing.

You pick. They're not 1 in a million, they're one of a million!

 

[logicallefty]

The only possible way it would ever work with her again would be if she can admit her mistakes in the relationship, as you have yours.

I actually have an ex who I just had this conversation with a couple weeks ago. She wants to get back together, at least for a good romping. She sent me some nudes on FB. Asked me if they still did anything for me. Started talking about missing me and our relationship. I flat out asked her "so what were your mistakes in our relationship?" She started ranting about mine. Wouldn't give me one mistake she made. I could have got a lay out of her but I'm not desperate so I declined even though she did look damn good.

 

[beforeimgone]

So it’s been 6 months solid NC since I changed my mobile number & blocked my ex from every platform.

I don’t know why, but the last few weeks I have started to miss her a lot more.

I want your opinion on how to proceed forward. Below I will outline as briefly as possible what went wrong.

It was a 2 year relationship & we lived together 4 months of it.

At my age 42, this was the hottest female I ever pulled, and the most successful one (yes she had her chit together)

The relationship was long distance, but not by loads (1 hour) drive each way. But we both worked full time, on my days off she would mostly be working, and on her days off I would be working, this made things difficult to meet up.

The only possible way we could meet, was if I swapped my working shifts around , in order to be off on the same day as her, as my job was more flexible.

I began to resent doing this, as I felt like I was making the bigger effort in the relationship.


Firstly The Things I Did Wrong

I gave her a relationship / commitment too soon, without her proving she was worth committing to. I should have made her earn it & I should have screened her much better.

Maybe I gave her too much of my time. It was usually once a week we met, pushing it twice, but I should have cancelled occasionally, just to keep her on her toes.

At the end of the relationship, she finished it with me & I tried talking to her to work things out (This Shifted The Balance Of Power Towards Her) I should have let her walk. She did get back with me, but then I dumped her few weeks down the line.


What Did She Do Wrong

Three months into the RS, a serious incident of disrespect against me, for which I immediately dumped her (on her birthday) two weeks of constant text messages from her, and I caved in & got back with her. (Big Mistake)

Everything was good for a while, we began to plan living together, she decided she would have her job transferred over nearer to me, so then we can rent a house & live together.

Then another two incidents of rudeness and disrespect, not as serious as before, but it definitely made me feel uneasy about her, I began to have doubts about moving to a new property with her, gut instinct did not feel right.

Christmas 2016, another serious incident of disrespect, she called me out in front of friends and her family, embarrassed me, when I bought this up with her, she TOTALLY blamed me, no apology, or acceptance of wrong doing at all.

By now she was living with me, A few weeks after Christmas she tells me, that she is leaving. She blamed ME for ruining Christmas, told me I had anger issues, because I got angry with her for embarrassing me in front of her family.

She packed her chit and transferred her job back to her home town. I didn’t bother stopping her, & showed her the fuking door.

3 weeks of NC and she calls me out of the blue. We both agree that we got along better, when we saw each other long distance, and moving in together was done too soon.

We get back together, couple of weeks in, she starts creating drama’s over little petty things, her behavior becomes somewhat chitty, mostly because of her own insecurities!

Eventually I call her up on the phone, and I tell her I’m not happy with her behaviour, she cuts me off the phone mid sentence, because she did not like being called out.

She didn’t turn up for our date that night either, and I didn't hear anything from her for 3 days.. I decided enough was enough & i'm not willing to put up with this crap any longer, so I dumped her.


Pure 100% NC ever since!

Here is my dilemma. I still have my old mobile sim card and I feel tempted to check it and unblock her.

So what’s stopping me?


01. I put the sim card back in and not a word from her? (I’m going to feel a little bad about that)


02. I put the sim card in & realize she has been trying to get back together with me, months ago? (Could end up feeling some possible regrets for missing out)


03. I put the sim card in and it’s nothing but breadcrumbs, and i’m exposed to more BS (old feelings resurfacing back)

I really can’t see any way back with this female.. We can never live together again.. She would never transfer her job over here to be with me again, and I do not trust her enough to give up everything, to move closer to be with her..

80% of me tells me, I need to keep moving on and forget this dead end relationship.. 20% is thinking.. What If? What If?

Long distant relationship, with no chance of ever properly being together, living together etc.. feels like I would be wasting my time with her!

Relationships are man made titles. If you fvcked her, you can fvck her again unless she tells you directly that she does not want you and does not want you to hit her up. You'll find that most women dont do this. That's because they want you to hit them up. On a weekly oron that basis u til they "cave" .

Six months is unnecessary. Hit her up randomly and have her drive to meet you. If she refuses, don't reply and ask again a week later. Rinse and repeat. If she does it, then fvck her.

Most men don't realize that if a woman is seeking attention or throwing breadcrumbs then she is willing to be fvcked with just little persistence. Lose your ego.

I've fvcked many women after hitting them up weekly. All it did was just move up my spot on their fvck list. Obviously they have no value if you have time do this so it's purely for sex. Look at it as a game. How long will it take for you to own her soul and make her fall in love.

 

[bigneil]

Don't block their number, that is childish.

I waited 7 weeks and when my last girlfriend broke NC I had a couple text conversations, and bumped into her by chance. Then (two weeks later) I asked her out and she said yes and we had an incredible date. She told me I'm probably the only guy she ever met who gives her the space she needs, and said "It was less than two months, and I came back". She was eager to please me. It was unforgettable.

Don't listen to people who say it's better NOT to have sex with a girl you once loved. The self service of these ex-BPD guys here is remarkable. They'll say "Don't let her hurt you again or you'll weep like I did!!!"

Never burn bridges. If you are always improving, given that a woman's beauty is in the decline, it's only a matter of time before she is under your thumb.

 

[wifehunter]

If you have to ask, the answer, is probably 'no'.

 

[resilient]

 

[bigneil]

Women never truly disappear from our lives.

My date last night and I broke up 2 months earlier. Last night she said "When I cut my hair I thought 'Oh no, Neil won't like this'". I said "When did you cut it?" and she said "Last month". I said "We hadn't spoken in a month as of then" and she said "I know, but I knew we would".

This mentality of banishing women we loved because they hurt our wittle feewings is getting old.

You simply don't initiate, but unless you have unlimited women you love on hand, don't ignore their messages.

 

[El Payaso]

You're only missing her because either you are currently going through a drought or you feel depressed at the moment. Those things can drive you to seek old familiarity. You have to be strong and stick to your guns.

When those reminiscing feelings come up. Don't fight it. Accept them for what they are. Actively recognize what those thoughts are and the reason why they came up. Let them flow through and pass away.

The truth is that you never really forget about some exes. Every couple of months or even years, they come up in your mind through a variety of triggers. It's completely normal. What you must never do is act on them.

Another thing is when you have a lot going on in your life, it takes them off your mind. An idle mind is an easy target for those kind of reminiscing thoughts. So keep busy.

 

[Thorninmyside]

No fam. You're looking back cause it seems like there's less to look at in front. At least one good option will change that for you I'm sure.

 

[dude99]

So it’s been 6 months solid NC since I changed my mobile number & blocked my ex from every platform.

I don’t know why, but the last few weeks I have started to miss her a lot more.

I want your opinion on how to proceed forward. Below I will outline as briefly as possible what went wrong.

It was a 2 year relationship & we lived together 4 months of it.

At my age 42, this was the hottest female I ever pulled, and the most successful one (yes she had her chit together)

The relationship was long distance, but not by loads (1 hour) drive each way. But we both worked full time, on my days off she would mostly be working, and on her days off I would be working, this made things difficult to meet up.

The only possible way we could meet, was if I swapped my working shifts around , in order to be off on the same day as her, as my job was more flexible.

I began to resent doing this, as I felt like I was making the bigger effort in the relationship.


Firstly The Things I Did Wrong

I gave her a relationship / commitment too soon, without her proving she was worth committing to. I should have made her earn it & I should have screened her much better.

Maybe I gave her too much of my time. It was usually once a week we met, pushing it twice, but I should have cancelled occasionally, just to keep her on her toes.

At the end of the relationship, she finished it with me & I tried talking to her to work things out (This Shifted The Balance Of Power Towards Her) I should have let her walk. She did get back with me, but then I dumped her few weeks down the line.


What Did She Do Wrong

Three months into the RS, a serious incident of disrespect against me, for which I immediately dumped her (on her birthday) two weeks of constant text messages from her, and I caved in & got back with her. (Big Mistake)

Everything was good for a while, we began to plan living together, she decided she would have her job transferred over nearer to me, so then we can rent a house & live together.

Then another two incidents of rudeness and disrespect, not as serious as before, but it definitely made me feel uneasy about her, I began to have doubts about moving to a new property with her, gut instinct did not feel right.

Christmas 2016, another serious incident of disrespect, she called me out in front of friends and her family, embarrassed me, when I bought this up with her, she TOTALLY blamed me, no apology, or acceptance of wrong doing at all.

By now she was living with me, A few weeks after Christmas she tells me, that she is leaving. She blamed ME for ruining Christmas, told me I had anger issues, because I got angry with her for embarrassing me in front of her family.

She packed her chit and transferred her job back to her home town. I didn’t bother stopping her, & showed her the fuking door.

3 weeks of NC and she calls me out of the blue. We both agree that we got along better, when we saw each other long distance, and moving in together was done too soon.

We get back together, couple of weeks in, she starts creating drama’s over little petty things, her behavior becomes somewhat chitty, mostly because of her own insecurities!

Eventually I call her up on the phone, and I tell her I’m not happy with her behaviour, she cuts me off the phone mid sentence, because she did not like being called out.

She didn’t turn up for our date that night either, and I didn't hear anything from her for 3 days.. I decided enough was enough & i'm not willing to put up with this crap any longer, so I dumped her.


Pure 100% NC ever since!

Here is my dilemma. I still have my old mobile sim card and I feel tempted to check it and unblock her.

So what’s stopping me?


01. I put the sim card back in and not a word from her? (I’m going to feel a little bad about that)


02. I put the sim card in & realize she has been trying to get back together with me, months ago? (Could end up feeling some possible regrets for missing out)


03. I put the sim card in and it’s nothing but breadcrumbs, and i’m exposed to more BS (old feelings resurfacing back)

I really can’t see any way back with this female.. We can never live together again.. She would never transfer her job over here to be with me again, and I do not trust her enough to give up everything, to move closer to be with her..

80% of me tells me, I need to keep moving on and forget this dead end relationship.. 20% is thinking.. What If? What If?

Long distant relationship, with no chance of ever properly being together, living together etc.. feels like I would be wasting my time with her!

The first time you took her back you admitted it was a big mistake.

Every other time you took her back it was a mistake.

Why would this time be any different.

 

[dude99]

To be fair, wanting her back is not really an option.. If I wanted her back I would have tried sooner.. I was more considering whether I should just unblock her, mostly out of curiosity, also because I am over the hardest part of the break up.

Pandora's box. What happened when pandora opened the box?

Don't repeat pandora's mistake.

 

[sazc]

No, no, no, no, no, no
@El Payaso called it and @logicallefty dispensed incredible wisdom.

Give it a week or two and the feelings will pass.