6 month relationship, girl acting wierd

[DJmonster]

My girlfriend has started acting wierd lately. She's never played any games with me. She's always been head over heals for me for the past six months, and the relationship moved really fast. Just in the past few days she's started to be somewhat distant with me at times. Last night at dinner she drove me absolutely nuts with a conversation about "us", and now she sent me this today:

Hey Babe!

I hope you have a great day. Don't study to hard and hurt your brain!

I have been thinking... I love you very very much and I am enjoying spending my time with you but maybe we are spending too much time together and you need some space. So maybe I wont go tonight. I don't want to crowd you. We took a very big step in our relationship to move in together and I just don't want to rush or ruin what we have. I am very much in love with you. I know you love me too. I don't want to make any mistakes with us.

I will talk to you later. I hope you got some sleep. Wrestle with the pups for me. See you later.

LOVE YOU ALWAYS,

Girlfriend XOXOXOXOXOX

-She knows I'm going to want her to go out with me tonight. I've given no indication that I need any space. The only thing I've done is, when she gets a little distant, I did too. How should I respond?

 

[The Bad Ass Canadian]

Respond with.....

If that's how you're feeling, then I'll respect what you decide and I'll go without you, if that's what you want. I want you to come, but if you feel better by staying in, it won't hurt either. love you babe

Or something along those lines.... just agree with what she decides but make it VERY clear that you DO want her to go with you.

 

[Sapiens]

Dude, you answered your own question! Pull back a little and show you are in control. Remember she is the lucky one for being with you.

IMHO I would handle it this way, I would call her out on it. I would say: "Yea babe, I think you are right. We might need some space, I was thinking about hanging out with some people I met as such and such place. Keep it mysterious, don’t elaborate, and she will be pestering you to know what else is going on in your life.

Sorry to say, but this is a F…ng mind chess game.

-Sapiens

 

[frivolousz21]

We took a very big step in our relationship to move in together

so you live together?



so dont u see her every night anyways?

 

[Vibe]

Sounds to me like she's being mature. I don't think she is playing any games. She probably just feels a little smothered because you two moved in together and she feels her attraction waning a little. She is just looking out for your relationship. That's what a good woman does.

~Vibe~

 

[frivolousz21]

this could just be a communication problem...talk to her about it

 

[Qmanchoo]

lol sapiens. This is the relationship game not the dating game. 6 months not 6 dates. If you pull back now she'll think you don't care about her and things will start to get REALLY sour.

I think badass canadian provided a mature and thoughtfull answer, which should be the reply to what was obviously a VERY thoughtful email. His answer is right on the money with this one.

Have you ever condisered that she's being completely honest with you? Mayeb she has reservations you need to talk about?

It's been 6 months and you've moved in, that's a huge step.

Maybe she really doesnt want to screw it up by crowding you and has done so in the past with guys.

I'm basing this response on assuming here that you're still "The man" in her life and have not turned into a suplicative puppy, since it doesnt' sound like it.

 

[DJmonster]

yes, we do live together, so I see her two out of three nights(because of my job).

Ok, I think I know how to handle this now. I just needed to hear it from you guys. I'm just frustrated, because this girl has been so good to me, and now I realize she's going to test me like any other woman. She could be feeling a little smothered too. I've just got to be indifferent to it.

 

[frivolousz21]

and now I realize she's going to test me and play games like any other woman

maybe its not a test...maybe she is hiding something or maybe she is reacting to you pulling away?

 

[DJmonster]

Originally posted by frivolousz21
maybe its not a test...maybe she is hiding something or maybe she is reacting to you pulling away?

U could be right. I think my response will be the same though. Something like Canadian said.

 

[Sapiens]

Qmanchoo,

I agree with canadian, but how is it different than dating?

Some of you might be right that there is something going on behind the scenes, but this is a classic flake out!

I hate to say this but women are gluttons for pain!!! They will test the relationship but there is NO LOGIC behind the actions, and you know what I mean by LOGIC.

She is not thinking 1+1=2, she is thinking: Is there more to him than this?

If he goes all AFC on her I bet you she will make his life a living hell.

LOL

-Sapiens

 

[speedo_meme]

I don't know the specifics of your life or anything, but anytime you hear this it is NOT good. Something is wrong somewhere, are you becoming AFC and not realizing it? I would say pull back and take space but you can't because you live with her. You can't be very mysterious like that. I've always said you shouldn't live with a girl until at least a year, but that's me.

Remember that words are cheap, see how she acts. Sorry to have to give you the bad news.

I mean, think about it. She lives with you. She doesn't want to p*ss you off, so she gives you this "i love you" sh*t. Maybe she does, but don't fool yourself into thinking nothing is wrong. IF and only if you react in the right way that might be true. Go out and have a good time without her, but don't pretend something is there if it's not.

Or it could be the first logical chick since the beginning of time.

Bottom line, in your situation, I would develop more hobbies to keep you busy, DON'T go out with other girls because you are in a relationship. But get busy doing something innocent without her.

 

[frivolousz21]

this really makes no sense..

now that I think about it.


I guess the 6 months was too fast


prolly was to fast.

you have to go threw shyt before you know you are in love.



I hate to tell you guys this..but ive tested my women 2 times already...consiciously...because I know from her reaction it will tell me how she feels.

the reason I dont think women test as much is because women are consumed with emotion....therefore if they are in love..they wont do ANYTHING TO COMPROMISE IT.

where as I dont give a shyt..I wont get burned..I have to make sure.


the worst case here is she was deeply infactuated and she cares for you..but isnt fully in love..

if she is in love..she wont want space..unless you are all over her 24/7.

 

[Tazman]

You said you gave no indication that YOU needed space but that's how she's going to state it because in reality SHE wants space. No need to tell her that you wanted her to come, she already knows that. She's TRYING to get out of it without hurting your feelings.

Just act like it's no big deal and agree to go without her. Don't get all sentimental and do it, just do it. It's time to give her the space SHE craves.

 

[DJ4Real]

Be a indifferent, but show her that you care. Yeah, it's complicated, but women are complicated....take a shot at it.

Good Luck

 

[DJmonster]

I CAN think of a few AFC moves I've done recently. Maybe I've gotten too comfortable. I will try and get more busy so we're not spending all our free time together.

thanks for the advice, I think I will respond with simply:

Babe,

I would love to have you go with me tonight, but If you feel like staying in, I would respect whatever you want to do.

Hope you have a great day!

love you,

Mike

 

[frivolousz21]

Babe,

I would love to have you go with me tonight, but If you feel like staying in, I would respect whatever you want to do.

Hope you have a great day!

love you,

Mike




nooooo!


Michael......

dont tell her that.


be indiffernt..tell her thats great, you can go out with a buddy now or what not...

that way she KNOWS you want to do other things.

 

[Sapiens]

^^^^ Dude, that's cool, but DO NOT add the "I would respect what you wanna do" bit! .. Balls, Balls mi amigo. You got the idea though. Confidence!! Confidence!

 

[DJmonster]

Ok, changed it to:

Babe,

I would love to have you go with me tonight, but If you feel like staying in, I will just see you when I get home : ).

Hope you have a great day!

love you,

Mike

 

[Tazman]

Exactly, she KNOWS you want her to go, no need to express it again. Just agree with her and do your thing, that's what she wants. Do you think she's doing this because she actually wants to go with YOU? No. You don't want to sound disappointed or affected by this AT ALL.