duke007
Master Don Juan
Hey guys!
Don't know how many of you would recognise me, but after a brief hiatus from this site I'm back to share a few words of wisdom.
Yesterday marked 6 months to the day I first kissed my current girlfriend on our beer tasting date - my first LTR.
A lot has changed since then. One setback I faced was recovering both physically and socially from glandular fever (which might have wrecked my confident state if single).
But there have also been many positives. Having a girlfriend who you can be yourself around and spend lots of time with is a HUGE learning experience. This relationship has helped me understand how women think and how to please them (and deal with them!) - at a much deeper level than this sites can teach. And the confidence that grows out of being 100% comfortable with your girl is something that cannot really be taught. It all becomes ingrained in your personality. Don't get me wrong I'm not bagging the site, it really changed me, but only getting into a relationship can give you that full perspective.
My anniversary card had a really nice message inside - 6 things she loves about me. Reading them made me immediately think of this site, because they have all been discussed as important skills to master. Here are the 6:
1 - When you smile for no reason
This was probably my first lesson from this site. When you walk around with a happy, pleasant expression people gravitate towards you. I'm not talking about crazy madman fake smiles....you need to become genuinely happy. Thinking about funny moments or jokes you heard in the past is perfect for this.
2 - You make me laugh
Well this one is obvious. Attraction wont work if you're a complete clown, but you still should have a light-hearted fun personality that others can feed off. I've noticed many times that my girlfriend has laughed not because my joke or comment was particularly funny, but because I said it in a funny way. Don't learn scripted jokes....just learn to observe the humourous things that happen around us every day.
3 - You always see the positive side of things
I used to be a negative person before I came on this site. I realised it was the one major thing holding me back. People don't want to hear about the problems of others, and neither do they want their own problems to be made to appear worse. I found that reassurance and bringing up the positive prevents my girlfriend from dwelling on her problems. This means we never get frustrated with each other.
My advice - when you have a problem, sit down and think up imaginative, innovative solutions, and always remember that somebody probably has it worse and/or have overcome something similar before. Nothing can't be solved.
4 - Your hugs
There is a lot of talk around here about hugs being AFC, which is completely ridiculous. Hugs are extremely powerful if you do them confidently - it shows you are in control and a "people person" Proper hugs are probably the easiest type of kino to apply and a perfect physical icebreaker. Next time you hug a girl, press your upper body against hers, be very firm with your hands (I learnt this at dancing class!), and breathe VERY gently on her neck so she can feel the warmth without it being obvious.
5 - You always think of something fun to do
Surely there's something on this in the DJ bible? Never be predictable or boring when you ask a girl out, especially in the first couple of months. She will start to associate you with having fun times and it will be difficult for her to lose this feeling. Beer tasting, as I mentioned before, was a brilliant date idea - free alcohol, trendy quiet bar, something different. I'm surprised she wrote this on the card because I haven't even exhausted my date ideas!
6 - You like me (shows good taste!)
This last one is a cute joke but also pretty important (or obvious depending on how you look at it). It's so much easier to game a girl when you actually like her. As you know, women are experts at reading people and can tell when you don't really give a stuff. As long as you don't take it too far and contract oneitis, liking your target girl and respecting her as a person will give you that extra edge when you interact with her.
at the end of the card...
"Happy 6 months! And hopefully more to come because as I get to know you the more I want to be with you."
Does that mean I've been mysterious?? This is one DJ skill I thought I'd stuffed up with this girl but it seems not. As you should all know, revealing EVERYTHING about yourself early on will get you nowhere. Also don't be afraid to reveal some of your true thoughts and feelings to a medium-long term girlfriend.
I remember actively trying to improve on all of these facets of my "game" back during my boot camp days. But after I met my girlfriend, I stopped "DJing" and let my true personality show through. From what was written in the card, it seems I have been portraying these attributes without consciously trying to, which I believe is the whole point of this site.
Get out into the field and learn...and soon enough you will leave your old AFC personality in the past. Who cares if you're not an expert at cold approaches and f*ck closes....the point is grasping the key concepts (which include the above and more) until they become a part of you.
Cheers fellow DJs and have fun in the field!
Don't know how many of you would recognise me, but after a brief hiatus from this site I'm back to share a few words of wisdom.
Yesterday marked 6 months to the day I first kissed my current girlfriend on our beer tasting date - my first LTR.
A lot has changed since then. One setback I faced was recovering both physically and socially from glandular fever (which might have wrecked my confident state if single).
But there have also been many positives. Having a girlfriend who you can be yourself around and spend lots of time with is a HUGE learning experience. This relationship has helped me understand how women think and how to please them (and deal with them!) - at a much deeper level than this sites can teach. And the confidence that grows out of being 100% comfortable with your girl is something that cannot really be taught. It all becomes ingrained in your personality. Don't get me wrong I'm not bagging the site, it really changed me, but only getting into a relationship can give you that full perspective.
My anniversary card had a really nice message inside - 6 things she loves about me. Reading them made me immediately think of this site, because they have all been discussed as important skills to master. Here are the 6:
1 - When you smile for no reason
This was probably my first lesson from this site. When you walk around with a happy, pleasant expression people gravitate towards you. I'm not talking about crazy madman fake smiles....you need to become genuinely happy. Thinking about funny moments or jokes you heard in the past is perfect for this.
2 - You make me laugh
Well this one is obvious. Attraction wont work if you're a complete clown, but you still should have a light-hearted fun personality that others can feed off. I've noticed many times that my girlfriend has laughed not because my joke or comment was particularly funny, but because I said it in a funny way. Don't learn scripted jokes....just learn to observe the humourous things that happen around us every day.
3 - You always see the positive side of things
I used to be a negative person before I came on this site. I realised it was the one major thing holding me back. People don't want to hear about the problems of others, and neither do they want their own problems to be made to appear worse. I found that reassurance and bringing up the positive prevents my girlfriend from dwelling on her problems. This means we never get frustrated with each other.
My advice - when you have a problem, sit down and think up imaginative, innovative solutions, and always remember that somebody probably has it worse and/or have overcome something similar before. Nothing can't be solved.
4 - Your hugs
There is a lot of talk around here about hugs being AFC, which is completely ridiculous. Hugs are extremely powerful if you do them confidently - it shows you are in control and a "people person" Proper hugs are probably the easiest type of kino to apply and a perfect physical icebreaker. Next time you hug a girl, press your upper body against hers, be very firm with your hands (I learnt this at dancing class!), and breathe VERY gently on her neck so she can feel the warmth without it being obvious.
5 - You always think of something fun to do
Surely there's something on this in the DJ bible? Never be predictable or boring when you ask a girl out, especially in the first couple of months. She will start to associate you with having fun times and it will be difficult for her to lose this feeling. Beer tasting, as I mentioned before, was a brilliant date idea - free alcohol, trendy quiet bar, something different. I'm surprised she wrote this on the card because I haven't even exhausted my date ideas!
6 - You like me (shows good taste!)
This last one is a cute joke but also pretty important (or obvious depending on how you look at it). It's so much easier to game a girl when you actually like her. As you know, women are experts at reading people and can tell when you don't really give a stuff. As long as you don't take it too far and contract oneitis, liking your target girl and respecting her as a person will give you that extra edge when you interact with her.
at the end of the card...
"Happy 6 months! And hopefully more to come because as I get to know you the more I want to be with you."
Does that mean I've been mysterious?? This is one DJ skill I thought I'd stuffed up with this girl but it seems not. As you should all know, revealing EVERYTHING about yourself early on will get you nowhere. Also don't be afraid to reveal some of your true thoughts and feelings to a medium-long term girlfriend.
I remember actively trying to improve on all of these facets of my "game" back during my boot camp days. But after I met my girlfriend, I stopped "DJing" and let my true personality show through. From what was written in the card, it seems I have been portraying these attributes without consciously trying to, which I believe is the whole point of this site.
Get out into the field and learn...and soon enough you will leave your old AFC personality in the past. Who cares if you're not an expert at cold approaches and f*ck closes....the point is grasping the key concepts (which include the above and more) until they become a part of you.
Cheers fellow DJs and have fun in the field!
