4th Date & Still No Lay..Need some solid opinions please!! ASAP!

[Jaylan]

Hmmmm....based on OPs last post, Im thinking he coulda smashed that first night tbh.

Meeting at the beach, chemistry off the bat, she asks you to stay and go drinking? If it was me things would have had a great chance to getting frisky that night.

Anyways, with the way date #5 went, and how things dont seem to be progressing emotionally or physically, Id bail. I wouldnt be feeling the situation if I were you OP.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Be careful son. I was with a very high and mighty Argentinian once upon a time (very similar in description to your Columbian) and it did not end well (for me) at all.

She (like my ex) seems to like the fact she has a 'nicer' car, goes to 'better places' etc etc. It's a massive power trip on her part. She obviously uses these very superficial and material signs to prop up her ego.

No need to get oneitis with this one. If you're already debating with her when and how and why you should or shouldn't have sex, I would personally question my role and more importantly future in the situation.

Don't negotiate desire dude. You seem a decent enough guy to just deserve it.

 

[Tictac]

Women past their initial forays often come up with what seems to us ****amamie 'rules' about how long they will wait before they feel okay with sex.

I hear women say directly that they have 3 date, 5 date rules, sometimes even as they break them on the first night. So you shouldn't be surprised. If they like you and feel 'chemistry' (wet panties) with you, their rules are for THEM, not you. They want you. They're struggling with how they feel versus how they think they should behave.

Some women are worth the game and the wait. Most are not.

You may want to play this game. But you should have other women around as you do.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Target fixation.

OP, you're about to go down and auger into the ground.

She has complete control and will dispose of you at her whim. I recommend an immediate preemptive strike before it all goes down.

You wanted the advice of experience. You got it.

 

[_sideways_]

South American girls are not worth it. They want to be dominated.

she gave you one whole big shyt test from the word go. You hesitated and now she's just playing with you. Its a twisted sense of humor.
they need you to be the man...they grew up around men who cheat, lie, steal, and laugh as they do it

its not right but such is what they experience.

you got to have gigantic balls with Colombians especially. They know their super hawt and work hard to maintain that.

for this girl to love you like you want, you have to be a ****. ��. if its not ur style than there's no hope for this situation.

trust me....if you want a life time of servitude keep being passive.

she's telling you she has no respect, or very little for you.

would she tell brad Pitt that she's gonna go hang with lebron James at the playboy mansion?... How did u react?... You should have gave her a big hearty laugh bro. I loled when I read that. Its a date, fun and sarcastic jokes. Bringing up down syndrome kids was a sick joke sorta....idk bro...ur not up to par with this one.

let yourself free from her.. She's just playing with you while waiting for her dude to make time for her.

I don't care what anyone says about being sexed up and or waiting and wanting to be different this time around.
IF YOU HAD GOTTEN HER WET CONSTANTLY YOU WOULD HAVE HAD HER LICKING HER PVSSY JUICES OFF YOUR FINGERS.

one thing about Latinas is they can't help but be horny with all those sexy Latinos walking around putting them in their place. Chauvinism...maybe...but it gets the taco wet.

 

[jackhamma]

Target fixation.

OP, you're about to go down and auger into the ground.

She has complete control and will dispose of you at her whim. I recommend an immediate preemptive strike before it all goes down.

You wanted the advice of experience. You got it.

Thank you all so much for the AWESOME detailed replies. You all seem to mention flipping the script on her, but what should be my next move?? If I have to walk away, I would prefer I walked away with a lay

What would be my power play? Do I go ghost for a week? Do I continue on like I have been playing it but STOP the home invites, STOP trying to kiss her in public, STOP showing her affection except at the end of the date when we Kiss etc?

The honest truth that I realized after reading everything you guys wrote me was I have only 1 other plate spinning right now. Should I start showing her that I am bored and not going to tolerate this waiting for sex?

What is my next big move?

 

[_sideways_]

Bro, she is not some special snow flake princess....

your next big move is do whatever the fvck you want to do.
be definitive in ur moves.

ur chasing this girl way too hard.

ur next move with this one should be whatever ur "heart" "mind" wants it to be. As far as the rest of ur world, go get other girls, read a book, try to beat ur fastest mile run time.

damn son, I'm sure she's fine as fvck, but geez...
I say you go ghost...you already have a friendship of sorts

if she wants to see you again, she's a big girl, she's wealthy and successful. Let her treat you right now.

ur doing all the treating...typical.

if it was me, I'd be putting my feet up waiting for her to brighten up MY day.

win win...if she doesn't, who cares, I'm taking care of me.

you have no more moves
...ur pinned....

 

[guru1000]

Man up and TELL her that you want sex, and if she doesn't give it to you, then walk away.

This.

A select few women will use sex delay tactics to lock you in--if they value you. Accordingly, employ shotgun boundary implementation.

 

[nismo-4]

Judge nismo on the case.

No disrespect but please only post if you have a good/high reputation, I am looking for guidance from the experienced DJ's on this forum, thanks!

I, and others, got you covered

I have been getting guidance from a very well know high rep user on this site privately and I just wanted to hear from others about this specific situation.

I am 27, this woman is 34. She is very independent, wealthy, and established. We have been on 4 solid dates. 3rd date we had dinner at my place, and fooled around in my bedroom but she would not let me sleep with her. She outright said "I am not an easy lay, and looking for someone to settle with." I still pushed, escalated, pushed some more, escalated and she would not give in.

She wants "relationship first, then sex." A control freak, if you will. Drop her ass, you are in beta territory. Don't believe me? Ask yourself if she would pull this sh*t with Brad Pitt or Channing Tatum. You wouldn't do this with Kate Upton or Katy Perry either.

We are both very attracted to each other, we have great conversation, kino is very high, especially on our last date which was Monday our make out session at the end of the date she was making a slight moan and really into the kissing more then she usually is. Even texted me an hour later saying to thank me and say how much fun she had.

But you didn't f**k her. Making out is not an IOI. She could just be leading you on. You should have led her to the bedroom. Attraction is not arousal. Arousal=sex. Attraction gets the foot in the door, but can also get you in the friendzone.

I am looking for a girl to spend long term with, not a hit it and quit it so..

Sex has to happen before then.

I just hit her up today asking to get together tomorrow night for dinner & a movie at my place. (waiting for her response back)

Don't hold your breath. Are you spinning plates? I hope you are.

I do NOT want her controlling the frame...but I want to lock her down with a lay.

She's already controlling the frame. She's playing the "Alpha fux, Beta bux" game with you as the BETA!

Am I being impatient? At this point should I except nothing but a date where I can get the potential lay? Or am I being impatient like I usually am?

At this point you should go for other women. Get the lay if the date ever happens.

What do you guys think!?

I think you should stop wasting your time with this girl, kick her to the curb, and replace her controlling ass. Unless you like being a friend (beta orbiter). And let's face it, you are in the friendzone. Next time, be sexual from the get-go. That way, she can't think of you as a beta. If she rejects you, you were rejected as an alpha, and can delete her from every platform.

You can also just demand (or ask) for sex. If she doesn't put out, tell her to get out. Stop rewarding this b**ch for giving you blue balls!

Read between the lines.

Case closed.

 

[TARKUS]

We have been on 4 solid dates since then.

She suggested tonight instead. I threw a place to eat out there, she said how about xyz instead. She has literally picked every place we have been out so far. She knows a lot better places then I do because she has money, and has been almost everywhere so I didn't care, I went with the flow of her suggestion.

Every single time I pull up to her place she makes me wait. Says she will be down in 5 minutes turns into 20. Last date she did that I texted her "Tonight doesn't really seem like a good night for you, lets reschedule." She ended up apologizing and convincing me to stay.

she goes "well ya a chance to hang around hot male athletes like who wouldn't want to go!"


She then threw around (for the second time) that we have only been on 3 dates, because the first date didn't really count, and the other "Date" blah blah.

"well we can watch a movie...its just everytime a guy invites me back to his house he is basically trying to ****, and I am not gonna **** you in only 3 dates.

Driving her home after the movie, we got in a small argument

She then brought up a story about porno, and that all men watch porn and her ex and I quote "I ****ed my ex 3-4 times a day and HE STILL WATCHED PORN it was a big problem with us.." lol.

These dates don't look solid to me. Solid dates result in lays. You don't have nothing to show for it. She is shutting you down when you get warmed up each time.

She is DOMINATING you = Her in control.

She picks out the places to go, she makes you wait for her, she is making you wait for sex. You are following her along = Beta.

You get into arguments over sex, she brings up "hot male athletes", talks about dudes she's fvcked, porn, hanging out with unsavory characters...This isn't some quality woman bro. She's making you WAIT...She was a first night lay if it was going to happen.

This is a woman that has been around. I called it right away. She would have no problem fvcking men she deems worthy. She is making you feel like a chump by denying you the sex you want. You are giving her validation. She knows it. This is why she does this to you. Women who make men wait for sex are not top caliber men.

Women don't put up this big of a fight over sex if they want to fvck you. You are being desperate begging for sex. She can hold you off forever how long she wants.

She's 34 bro she isn't a 24 yr old dime piece. No Woman that old is worth giving all that attention to. You went with the flow allowing her to dominate you. You didn't care. That's your fault. This is why she won't fvck you. You are less in value than the other men to her.


She's telling you about the men she's fvcked. She is refusing to fvck you. Put this woman on ice bro. No amount of advice is going to change her opinion of you. You blew it.

 

[_sideways_]

I like how someone pointed out that now that she's done riding the D carousel and hitting middle age, all of a sudden she's not that type of girl.
so true...
it happened to me but at an earlier age. She was mid twenties...had older bfs then I came along and was treated well, but no sex. I was sort of smart though. She had a good job and car and very cute...so we went out to eat and movies ALL the time, on her dime. I think I even loved her at one point....but at the back of my mind I kept thinking why she couldn't , wouldn't be freaky with me. I didn't believe all her, I've been burned crap. Now I know it was called ALPHA FUX BETA BUX game...thanks ss.com

 

[pipe007]

lol you want advice from experience huh?
yup I have dated dominating Colombians in the past

yes, she made me wait 4 months, yes the sex was good after, yes she become more and more controlling, demanding, nagging, and yes I became sick to my stomach of dating her after 1 year. I realized I was going to be a miserable beta Fuk if I continued dating her. Granted she was 29 and was ready for marriage....

But my life would have been miserable if I continued dating her.... I made the right choice....

I'm not saying she will discard of you, she may eventually fall for you and give it up (after you have spend a lot of time/money, and showed your commitment for her, that you will stay with her in the long run and PROVIDE for her), after she sees that you will put up with all her dominant behavior, she then may possible give it up, and you two may possibly have a relationship

BUT!!! be warned... it will be living hell in the next 2 years...
cheers!!!

what are you doing with your life brotha??? walk away!!!!

 

[Ray S]

http://www.returnofkings.com/37616/how-to-handle-women-with-a-ticking-biological-clock

this may apply some, i have experienced this with women that are 30 or older. I gave up because a hotter 24 year old will fvck on the first or second date, so why bother?

Interesting read, thanks

 

[_sideways_]

i like this site because it keeps me on track

I won't lie....ive used girls in the same manner that this Colombian is treating our boy.

but its in our nature. Think about it...shes getting all this praise from sucker dudes on top of that she's getting praise from her family, aunts, uncles, friends, family friends...its a big deal for a girl like her to make it even if it was easy.

you were on an uphill battle OP

not to be on her side, but your ego needs to be as big as hers to keep her interested.

I wish I could see a pic

 

[Callmejoe]

Harry and Trump are accurate.

There is only one girl I ever let go past the second date before sleeping with her. She was a 21 year old virgin, never had a boyfriend, never kissed anyone, and frankly, I just enjoyed her company and sense of humor and would have hung out with her if she were my sister. She did give pretty good BJ's too in the meantime.

I will ditto what has been said, this woman wants to be in control, and having a younger guy who is not as accomplished is how she is going to do it. She does not respect you. Think Madonna. You will do what she wants, when she wants, and not before. If being a slave is your thing, then fine. You either accept that she is in control or you move on.

Realize if you are looking to settle down, this is not a good choice. Sooner or later, she will resent that she is supporting you. And sooner or later, you will come to resent that you are not wearing the pants in the house and she is always telling you what to do; you are there already.

The perfect age for a woman to marry is about 27. She has her adult personality, not too young, not too old.

In my personal experience, I rarely date any woman over 30, and if she is, only if she is Asian. I am 47.

 

[devilkingx2]

the longest you should wait if your goals involve actually getting laid is 5 dates,

if you haven't gotten laid yet, then you have 2 options

1. accept that you will not be getting any in this relationship until she's good and ready because she calls the shots (note: if you actually don't care if you get laid anytime soon, then this option is perfectly fine for you, and you should feel no shame.)

2. stop taking her calls and move on to girls who put out

unless you're in high school(or she is, which is a whole nother can of worms) you shouldn't have to wait significant periods of time for sex.

for the fifth date it doesn't matter what you do just make sure it involves alcohol and/or drugs of some kind, whether that means you both do ex and go to a rave or you hit up a bar for late night drinks, it'll be your best chance of actually getting some.

 

[Max Power]

True desire is not something that is negotiated. Do you think she would tell those hot athletes at the Playboy mansion she is not having sex with them for at least five dates? She would be laughed out of the mansion if she did.

 

[Jaylan]

OP MOVE ON.

I wouldnt continue to go on dates with a woman who constantly made it a point to say we wouldnt be having sex. Even if I wasnt expecting sex soon, the attitude is a turn off from her. Her attitude basically says "I know you want me, but Im not letting you have me"

Her attitude comes off as arrogant to me. Nvm the comment she made about hot guys in shape. Like wtf...I wouldnt tell a girl on a date how Im hanging with models and sh!t...especially if Im trying to convey to her that I want something serious.

Move on from this broad. You shouldnt care about sleeping with this woman. Get better validation elsewhere OP.

 

[jackhamma]

I haven't said ANYTHING to her since last nights date. She texted me now at 10:15pm and said "Hope u had a great day" WTF!? Is there ANY WAY POSSIBLE I can pull a 180 and get her to fuk me? I am not going to respond to her text until tomorrow...if that.

Please instruct me on what to do! Although I may seem a bit beta I am ready to do what needs to be done to get the lay...do I need to flip out my a-hole card?

Please Advise!

 

[Max Power]

She is spinning plates. The not holding hands in front of an acquaintance is a red flag. You are the #2 or #3 plate. She won't **** you until she is certain one of her better plates won't commit. It's up to you if you want to play her game.