4 Years Later I've Grown Tired of Pick-up.

[itishe]

Love this thread! DJ > PUA.

DJ is the foundation of a great man, a man who wants to better the world, himself, and those around him. He is out to be happy everyday of his life and has beliefs that he'll fight for.

A PUA can be a DJ or it can be a complete schmuck who's primary focus in life is etching a tally on his belt.

I come from a small town so guys who are extremely successful with landing lays are not too common, but the ones who do are visible. I'm friends with a couple and many lead boring dead-end lives. I've seen the rat tails they've put their ****s into and called them women, absolutely no standards but just so they can brag their amounts up.

If you can be a DJ and a PUA then you've hit the goldmine, but one should focus on becoming a better person before following a "XYZ formula to getting laid".

 

[Perfect10]

The book of pook. Nothing more you need.

 

[thefonz]

I still pretty much the same as I did when I wrote this here's some things I have learned after reading and trying out new things:

-95% of PUA advice is bull****, you don't need it. However, that 5% of advice is just absolutely great stuff and is enough to leave you addicted to believing everything that is said. You need to be able to question the people giving you advice because they WILL take it personally when you disagree. Watch how they react, you can usually tell which things are legit and just ego-related.

- No one and I mean NO ONE that i've met in person gets laid from every approach. I've met gurus, intermediates, forum superstars, and teachers get laid more than 1/15 approachs MAX. Captain Jack is considered to have the best open-close ratio and that's what he got. That's the best ratio you can hope for. Cold approaching is a lot of work and it is a lifestyle for sure even when you get good.

- The better you get, the more problems you discover about yourself. Some are easy to fix and others are damn near impossible. I get overwhelmed when I think about all the problems I have which falls into:

- Stop trying to be perfect and serious. The majority of community guys take themselves VERY seriously. Stop. The more serious you are about this the more likely you are to quit so have fun and avoid guys who aren't. This is not a competition

-Visualize: Probably the most common and popular tip I've gotten after reading about 50+ self-help books. They ALL recommend this and it is a crutial to self-improvement in ANYTHING. Picture who what and where you want to be in as much detail as possible and the universe will get out of your way. No joke, this is a must!

-Last but most important, figure out what you want in as much detail as possible. This will save a lot of wasted time and effort going after things you later discovered are not rewarding at all.

 

[Slickster]

Great post Fonz.

Despite some of the negatives which you speak of you have actually found your way to a higher level. Good stuff.

 

[thefonz]

7 years later....

I've learned that pickup only needs 3 things that require focus:

Body Language
Approaching
Escalating

That's all you need to simply get laid. As far as everything else is concerned...

The road it's taken me down as been one of INTENSE self-introspection to the point of near insanity. I've learned how to deal...I have overcome the issues that brought me here. I am confident, self-reliant, and non-needy. I do not seek validation from anything except that which I choose to center my life around. I chose principles to be the center of my life:

I face fears regularly, I don't compare myself to anyone but myself. I decide with who and where I spend my time.

I do what I want....and that has been all the difference.

Thank you pickup community....all of my love to you.

 

[TopGun2000]

good for you

 

[MirrorOfTheSoul]

Good stuff.

Yes, everything must be done in moderation.

 

[escaleraroyal]

u r 29 and u r ****ing useless hahahahaha

 

[floydb25]

Sounds like you took it too far, and used it for the wrong reasons. It's like when the nice guy goes to the opposite extreme of being a jerk. You COULD have used this knowledge to balance out your game, become a better person, and still engage in relationships. You don't have to use it to get laid.

People go too far in extremes whenever they run into problems, or get hurt - not realizing that they're just adding on a whole new set of problems. Always looking for the easy route. I also don't think people realize how consequencial (sp) this kind of lifestyle is. Its very shallow - just as being bad is very negative. It's not all fun. It doesn't make you feel good... Quite the opposite.

 

[zekko]

All this energy I could have been spent studying up on car mechanics, finance, meditation, cooking, investing, chemistry, poetry, guitar etc. But instead, I wanted to learn how to walk up to any woman and bang her within the hour....

Ironically, the guys who are out there doing "normal" stuff like studying car mechanics, finance, etc. are the very same guys who are held in contempt and ridicule on this forum. Because they aren't specifically studying PUA techniques, and focusing on women, they are scorned as dreaded AFCs.

 

[sstype]

Ironically, the guys who are out there doing "normal" stuff like studying car mechanics, finance, etc. are the very same guys who are held in contempt and ridicule on this forum. Because they aren't specifically studying PUA techniques, and focusing on women, they are scorned as dreaded AFCs.

Agreed Zekko.....I have a full-time job that consumes a ton of my time, trying to stay in shape, eat healthy, spend time with family/friends, start a business...etc....you know what most normal people do. These "PUAs" must be in their little college bubble, unemployed, or trust fund babies with the amount of time they spend picking up girls and trying to manage multiple dates.

For me, I block off a friday or saturday night to go out and game girls. That's about all the time I have in the week and honestly even if I had more time I wouldn't want to spend it chasing skirt full-time. I think once you reach a certain age and level of maturity that sh*t just looks lame to outside observers if your life soley revolves on picking up women.

The other thing is "game" can be downright mentally exhausting having to approach, maintain a conversation, and attempt to close every girl you want to hook up with. After doing this many times in one night and not being successful, I'm just ready to throw in the towel for the week, recharge my batteries, and try again next weekend. Yeah its disappointing going home alone, but I figure if I put in a good 3-4 hours exercising my social/game muscles then I've put in a reasonable amount of effort in being a well-rounded social guy and that's good enough. Don't want to burn myself out!

 

[thefonz]

Agreed Zekko.....I have a full-time job that consumes a ton of my time, trying to stay in shape, eat healthy, spend time with family/friends, start a business...etc....you know what most normal people do. These "PUAs" must be in their little college bubble, unemployed, or trust fund babies with the amount of time they spend picking up girls and trying to manage multiple dates.

Funny you say that because I moved in with one of those "mpuas" (I was naive at the time) that spent all his time sarging.

He was worshipped in the Boston Lair forums by newbies who read transcripts of his endless sets and lays and aspired to be just like him.

But in reality he was extremely depressed and self-hating, he creeped out 90% of his sets, he had no friends outside the lair, terrible relationship with his mother, and would often sit in his room for a week straight only to come out and do some daygame at he mall and brag about the 10 number closes he got. It was the saddest thing I've ever seen.