4 month relationship ended.. what now?

[Iceberg]

Where can I read more about the "silent treatment"? Can it attract women or is it mostly used as a revenge thing?

It's not necessarily a revenge or attraction thing. It's about you truly filling your life with other things to do so you're not dealing with the drama of this woman. It will eventually attract her more to hear secondhand information about how "Weet has been looking buff lately. He's working out." Or "I bumped into Weet at the bar. He had 5 girls around him." That builds attraction. But it's not deliberate. It's just the result of you focusing on other things.

If not, I'll send her a message telling her I'm all good, but have been really busy with things lately (that's actually true). I'll ask her what she's been up to and if she doesn't show me any signs of being interested I'm not gonna waste my time on her..

NEEEXT!

Why send her a message at all. What's the point?

 

[thegator39]

Don't message her or return her message whatsoever. She only messaged you to feed her own ego. Any response on your part means "He still likes me."

 

[5string]

Don't message her or return her message whatsoever. She only messaged you to feed her own ego. Any response on your part means "He still likes me."

This is true! No contact brother. And these guys are dead on about silent treatment. You don't need to read up on it. You know what it means. Just do it.

 

[Paintballguy]

This is true! No contact brother. And these guys are dead on about silent treatment. You don't need to read up on it. You know what it means. Just do it.

hell yeah it definitely helps. i deleted all the pics of me and my ex off my facebook, deleted my ex from my friends, and deleted all her stuff from my phone. i got an angry text from her like 10 minutes later which i just deleted. it drives them nuts when you go no contact.

 

[jophil28]

.. it drives them nuts when you go no contact.

Indeed it does but that is not it's primary purpose.

"No Contact" is a stategy to remove a liability from your life.

 

[FutureSpartan]

I know your ego is bruised from being dumped but look it at from this perspective.....she did you a favor. Now you're free to enjoy the single life again without having the guilt of breaking a girls heart.

Go drinking with your buddies, take up a new hobby, go hit on some girls. You're a free man now.

And don't read too much into her facebook message. You don't need to be analyzing this sh*t with one girl when there are so many other options out there. Remember the abundance mentality. Ideally, I wouldnt respond just b/c that chapter of your life with her is over so there's no reason to dig up old garbage. But if you decide to anyways, just keep it along the lines of something like "im doing great, hope things are going well for you also." Short and civil.

Basically, unless you just want to keep this girl around as a FB, you need to move on and find new girls.

 

[weet]

I know, I know... but aren't we going a little bit too fast here? I know you don't want me to waste my time, but she might just be confused like she said herself. She said she needed some time to think, and that's what I've given her, right? For a week and a half I haven't said a word to her. I know what she said usually means it's over, but does it hurt to wait and see if she starts message me more? Do you think there would be a chance she would?

I'm prepared to fail and listen to her telling me it's over for good.. and because of that, I'm not gonna get hurt by it. I already have an eye on two other chicks at the moment.

Even though you guys most likely are correct, I think it would be interesting to see if I could get her to miss me or make her jealous in some way. Has anyone tried that and succeeded?

 

[FutureSpartan]

I know, I know... but aren't we going a little bit too fast here? I know you don't want me to waste my time, but she might just be confused like she said herself. She said she needed some time to think, and that's what I've given her, right? For a week and a half I haven't said a word to her. I know what she said usually means it's over, but does it hurt to wait and see if she starts message me more? Do you think there would be a chance she would?

I'm prepared to fail and listen to her telling me it's over for good.. and because of that, I'm not gonna get hurt by it. I already have an eye on two other chicks at the moment.

Even though you guys most likely are correct, I think it would be interesting to see if I could get her to miss me or make her jealous in some way. Has anyone tried that and succeeded?

Lol....if you're that obsessed with her and have nothing more productive to do then play stupid games, then just post some pictures on facebook with you hanging out/partying with other girls (and make sure they are attractive). We all know how some women get jealous of other women.

 

[TIC]

That's one of the most frustrating thing about women...everything could seem perfect, but in the blink of an eye the woman will sometimes just end everything. Their emotions control them so much that you can't expect anything based on patterns...because that would be too logical.

She made this decision easily probably because of all the options she had. Think about it. You were sitting there crying. Why? Because you know you are back at square zero

Her? She had options the entire time, so you are always disposable. She can get another guy to take her to dinner within the hour. Any woman of reasonable attractiveness has multiple plates spinning at any given time, without doing anything for it.

Women wouldn't be able to do this kind of thing if the game was fair. You wouldn't have all these sudden unexpected break-ups and dumps. They would be forced to think twice

 

[ENIGMA16]

Her needing "time to think" is just attempting to pad the blow so she doesn't feel so bad about it.

Just ****ing move on already dude!

 

[Slick101]

Read my threads and forums!... HAHA.. Ive been there

 

[kush]

Ive been in your spot before and the best thing to do is just move on and live your life. Easier said than done and I know you won't listen to me but this is the only possible way you'll have a chance at getting her back.

Do NOT contact her in any way or pick up her calls. This is a decision she has thought over for a while and no matter what you say or do, she won't change her mind. The more you try to contact her, the more desperate you come off as.

As for her flatmates, they could definitely be part of the reason. Friends follow other friends' decisions subconsciously but it doesn't matter why she broke up with you because it's over. She told you she lost interest, and that's what it is.

4 months is nothing dude, get out and have fun. Don't sulk around all day.

 

[Myrrdin]

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=177858

been there done that. Four weeks have past and I'm really enjoying the single life. Mind you, she found another guy 3 days later and made sure I find out about it . Out of sight out of mind. Keep going and enjoy life. You'll start feeling better in a few days. Gym is a must! Oh and a beer or two (not more) are great for relieving the pain.

Embrace the single life!!! I had forgotten how fun it is

 

[Paintballguy]

Once you realize that chicks are easily replaceable, you will feel a lot better.

 

[TheJazz]

1
Could she have found someone else? Everything went downwards so fast! In a few weeks it went from a super good times to this :S Maybe all her needs are filled now that she lives with two girls and works full-time everyday? She's often really tired in the evenings so it might be a reason? No more energy or time for me..

The fact that you still care sickens me. You got oneitis with this one & you got it bad. It'll suck to try to stop caring, but it's something you're going to have to do. Be a man & forget about her. You guys clearly have no future if she's going to fall out of love with you so easily.

2
What should I do now? How should I reply to her message? I haven't been able to focus or think at all. I know deep inside that I really want her back cause she's the best thing that have ever happened to me. I really want to make her miss me and feel it's a stupid idea to leave me. What do I do? I gotta raise her interest and attraction level? How?

Don't bother replying to her message. She's not worth it.
If you want to reply to her message, just say something very indifferent like "Yeah everything's cool. Peace. " and that's it.

It's hard to let go after you've invested so much in this girl, but it needs to be done. Deal with it & move on.

 

[thegator39]

Take it from me. I was in a similar relationship only we were never officially boyfriend and girlfriend...we were just dating/fooling around...but rushing in will only make you seem desperate and make you feel worse when she doesn't react the way you want her to. It's a sad fact, but like someone else said, when women lose interest, it's often well thought out in advance and they hardly ever change their mind and have an ability to just pretend like her and the guy were never close.

I know right now she's the only woman on your mind, and pretty much a naked HB10 could be standing in front of you and you wouldn't get the same enjoyment out of it you usually would...but you have to confront the pain head on and deal with it. Part of that is ignoring her attempts at an ego boost.

I know this is easier said than done. I haven't seen my ex since last July and haven't attempted to contact her in months (and never will again) and I still see her face in my mind at times when I see a girl that resembles her in public.