NewspaperRalph
Don Juan
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- Dec 4, 2006
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4 secret mindsets for a successful approach
I know guys who are afraid of beautiful women and will not talk to them in fear of rejection, they just cannot summon up the courage to go talk to women. The mindset is always, she’s not beautiful enough, or she’s too old, she’s too fat, she’s too skinny, she’s not my type of girl.
If your going to limit yourself talking to beautiful woman, then you're going to talk to 5% of all the people you see, but if you talk to 100% of all the people you possibly can, you will get much more practice in. Even if it’s an old man taking a seat next to you, you should still talk to him, because this builds your conversation skills.
The mistake is limiting yourself to a specific type of girl is because when that specific type of girl comes along, you won't have the conversation skills to continue the conversation. Also, setting limits to whom you will talk to is just adding excuses on why you won't talk to everyone.
Now you want to talk to everyone, because everyone deserves to have his or her day made better by a pick-up artist like yourself, whether she’s ugly, fat, or old. Even approach guys, because if you’re unemployed - he might even give you the job you’ve been looking for.
When you’re interacting with people, I’d like to keep to these 4 principles.
1. Choose your attitude: You can have a frown on your face and be angry, bitter, and disinterested and approach people, but I’ll assure you that no matter what line you try or how good your body language is, you’ll get a negative result. The opposite is true: if you have a smile on your face and is happy, energetic, caring, vital, supportive, and creative you will make them much warmer, more incline to stay and chat and to exchange contact information.
Without choose your attitude, the approach and all the rest will be a waste of time.
2.Play: Your entire environment is an adult playground. When we grow up, we lose this sense of lighthearted fun and carefree, we become serious and goal oriented. A great example of this is when Wayne Elise was demonstrating his favorite approach. It involved a woman looking at a display of ice cream in a food court, he would tell his client to walk up to her, draw a tic-tac-toe board, draw an “X” in the middle and say “your turn”; this is usually followed by laughter and compliance. Now it doesn’t have to be that extreme, you can start out with a joke, like “I love your purse, I was going to wear the same one today” would work fine.
It shows confidence, uniqueness, and it will catch her off guard. She gets a feel for the type of person you are, and this is important.
3.Make their day: Engage woman in a way that leaves them saying “WOW”. Give her something to talk to her friends about. Whether it’s catching her off guard and having her connecting to you in a personal level, or even your genuine interest in her and who she is. Something as simple as a smile or opening the door for someone would make their day. It can even be in the form of honesty, like: “hey I’m trying to overcome my shyness, and I think you are a pretty girl so I thought I’d talk to you”.
Again, this applies with everyone, man, woman, pretty, ugly, old, young – everyone deserves to have their day made, and in their eyes you are the coolest guy around if you can add value in their life.
4.Be present: Don’t be distracted about anything else. You want to be there listen and be interested in the other person. Don’t scan her surroundings or daydream when your talking to him or her. Talk to them as if they are your long lost friend.
I read this in a book, I forgot which, and it talks about the present and it goes like this:
“The past is history
The future is a mystery
Today’s a gift
That is why we call it the present”
Well i'm off to sleep. So give me feedback! These are the 4 mindsets to interaction, do you like it, do you hate it? anything to add? Also, this post is quite long, so if you can summarize the points, feel free to do so.
I know guys who are afraid of beautiful women and will not talk to them in fear of rejection, they just cannot summon up the courage to go talk to women. The mindset is always, she’s not beautiful enough, or she’s too old, she’s too fat, she’s too skinny, she’s not my type of girl.
If your going to limit yourself talking to beautiful woman, then you're going to talk to 5% of all the people you see, but if you talk to 100% of all the people you possibly can, you will get much more practice in. Even if it’s an old man taking a seat next to you, you should still talk to him, because this builds your conversation skills.
The mistake is limiting yourself to a specific type of girl is because when that specific type of girl comes along, you won't have the conversation skills to continue the conversation. Also, setting limits to whom you will talk to is just adding excuses on why you won't talk to everyone.
Now you want to talk to everyone, because everyone deserves to have his or her day made better by a pick-up artist like yourself, whether she’s ugly, fat, or old. Even approach guys, because if you’re unemployed - he might even give you the job you’ve been looking for.
When you’re interacting with people, I’d like to keep to these 4 principles.
1. Choose your attitude: You can have a frown on your face and be angry, bitter, and disinterested and approach people, but I’ll assure you that no matter what line you try or how good your body language is, you’ll get a negative result. The opposite is true: if you have a smile on your face and is happy, energetic, caring, vital, supportive, and creative you will make them much warmer, more incline to stay and chat and to exchange contact information.
Without choose your attitude, the approach and all the rest will be a waste of time.
2.Play: Your entire environment is an adult playground. When we grow up, we lose this sense of lighthearted fun and carefree, we become serious and goal oriented. A great example of this is when Wayne Elise was demonstrating his favorite approach. It involved a woman looking at a display of ice cream in a food court, he would tell his client to walk up to her, draw a tic-tac-toe board, draw an “X” in the middle and say “your turn”; this is usually followed by laughter and compliance. Now it doesn’t have to be that extreme, you can start out with a joke, like “I love your purse, I was going to wear the same one today” would work fine.
It shows confidence, uniqueness, and it will catch her off guard. She gets a feel for the type of person you are, and this is important.
3.Make their day: Engage woman in a way that leaves them saying “WOW”. Give her something to talk to her friends about. Whether it’s catching her off guard and having her connecting to you in a personal level, or even your genuine interest in her and who she is. Something as simple as a smile or opening the door for someone would make their day. It can even be in the form of honesty, like: “hey I’m trying to overcome my shyness, and I think you are a pretty girl so I thought I’d talk to you”.
Again, this applies with everyone, man, woman, pretty, ugly, old, young – everyone deserves to have their day made, and in their eyes you are the coolest guy around if you can add value in their life.
4.Be present: Don’t be distracted about anything else. You want to be there listen and be interested in the other person. Don’t scan her surroundings or daydream when your talking to him or her. Talk to them as if they are your long lost friend.
I read this in a book, I forgot which, and it talks about the present and it goes like this:
“The past is history
The future is a mystery
Today’s a gift
That is why we call it the present”
Well i'm off to sleep. So give me feedback! These are the 4 mindsets to interaction, do you like it, do you hate it? anything to add? Also, this post is quite long, so if you can summarize the points, feel free to do so.
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