3rd date, no sex

[Juanto]

Should i now simply contact her ONLY IF she contacts me first, and then make a last attempt to schedule a date (which could be not in my place)?

 

[Juanto]

You should be approaching other girls.

The problem with going out with a woman for 7 dates before sex is that it's a huge investment. I don't have the money or time to waste on a low-interest woman.

The last 2 women I've fvcked this past month was on date 2, and date 1.

One of these would be perfect for a LTR. Guys don't understand interest, and they don't understand this game.

If you were cultivating your options weekly, you would lose interest naturally - as better leads came along.

Never stop approaching. The approach is everything.

I can see your point, having more options would definately avoid me even contemplating what to do next with this girl. It was just a bit weird since we had (or at least i thought so) 3 good dates even though no sex happened. Again, always learning here....

 

[Juanto]

Honestly, I'm not in your position. You need to decide whether she is worth the investment or not.

You can have (what you consider) 3 good dates, only for a woman to put you in the provider box, and make you 'wait'.

But do not stop approaching. It completely changes your mindset, and behaviour.

What is your current game, mate? How are you meeting women?

What do you mean by provider box?

Im using OLD and going out sometimes for meetups to meet new people. Also spinning only one other plate, but I have never cold approached anyone during daytime, for example. So my game is far from ideal, I reckon that.

 

[Juanto]

I mean that when a girl has you earmarked as her next 'boyfriend', that she can make you 'wait' as a means of controlling your perception of her.

The guys on here judging women with their 'quality woman' nonsense are partly to blame for that.

For your part: be a lover, not a provider.



You have no idea the abundance mentality you will gain from starting daygame.

I am currently looking for a wing. If you reside in the south of England, I'll show you myself.

If not, I have a bunch of stuff that will help you out. Perhaps PM me.

Thanks, already PM you.

 

[EyeBRollin]

You should be approaching other girls.

The problem with going out with a woman for 7 dates before sex is that it's a huge investment. I don't have the money or time to waste on a low-interest woman.

It's really not. My 7 dates went like this:

1: Coffee, walk in the park (1 hr, $5)
2: Drinks (1 hr, $15)
3: Dinner, drinks + pool (4 hrs, $70)
4: Bowling, she brought dinner to my place (6 hrs, $25, resisted sex)
5: Came to my hotel, I had a work event (free, resisted sex)
6: Came directly to my place (free, resisted sex)
7: Came directly to my place (free, finally gave in and ****ed me 4 times)

Notice a pattern?

I stop courting after the first time she comes to my place. If she doesn't give it up I cut her off until she submits to coming over again. I go for the sex each time. Eventually they either submit or stop coming over. Either way, I stop spending money usually after the 3rd or 4th date. Can't remember the last time I invested more than $150 total on any one woman (some of you chumps are blowing that on one date).

Ended up screwing this chick two more occasions until I let her go for pressuring a relationship. She 7 dates happened over a period of 3 months.

 

[Juanto]

Slight backstory to this situation (although Im not sure it has relevance to what is happening now). I had met this girl 6/7 years for the first time. We had one date the 2 of us and then I foolishly agreed to go on a 2nd with her friends. She then asked for a 3rd again with friends and I said no and never spoke to her again til 3 weeks ago.

Maybe she was just curious now to see If I changed my ways, which i did by escalating on the 2nd and 3rd date (I hadnt before). But even after this and after coming over to my place, i guess the interest level didnt raise that much or she is playing some games

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Maybe I am a weirdo but I enjoy it when it takes a few more dates. Sometimes I will deliberately not close the deal when I know they are desperate for it, heh heh heh. If I know the interest is there then so long as I keep the entetest and sexual tension high then I am not in a rush.
I think lack of desperation shows abundance mentality and drives the hamster crazy. I have never had an issue with LMR. By the time I lay them they are usually DTF and are up for anything. The message they have been given is if you want to **** me you earn it. That is what most women tell men. It messes with them to get it reversed. This doesn't mean I don't get first or second night lays. They are just not as much fun for me.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

No...I offer fun. Having fun isn't normally an emotion women are afraid of.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Either we date really different women or we have really different ideas of fun. LOL.

Peace and good luck to you.

 

[marmel75]

My idea of fun certainly isn't going out of my way for a woman over months. Investing loads, and getting jack diddly sh1t in return.

I struggle to understand that you have never had a high-interest woman that hasn't dealt with the conflict of her interest for you, and her interest in protecting her feelings. That is quite standard.

My standard move is to start fingering them, slowly at first, then ramping up until you are jackhammering that sh!t...she will basically forget all about her LMR and be begging for your c0ck at that point...then you'll start hearing the "I don't normally do this" or "I can't believe I'm doing this right now" nonsense...

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

My idea of fun certainly isn't going out of my way for a woman over months. Investing loads, and getting jack diddly sh1t in return.

I struggle to understand that you have never had a high-interest woman that hasn't dealt with the conflict of her interest for you, and her interest in protecting her feelings. That is quite standard.

Is it? Bugger, I must be doing something wrong.

I never said how much I invested in a woman or how much I got in return. I like low key inexpensive dates, playing pool and having a few beers, getting some sandwiches and walking on the beach etc... I am not investing much money. As for time I am doing something I like with someone I like, doesn't seem like much of an effort to me. I am enjoying their company and the flirting and tension but I am not deeply invested emotionally. I have more than one woman I spend time with. If this goes tits up, there will always be someone else.

As for protecting her feelings, sure if they think you are just screwing them they will protect their feelings. Being desperate to get a 1 or 2 date lay will tell them that (not that I am accusing anyone of desperation).
I have had the opposite problem of women being no good at protecting their feelings. I think after reading 'models' by Mark Manson I was better at being open and honest about my feelings without losing frame (I hope) and this encouraged women to feel safer with me. It is not a ploy to get me laid but it does mean women will trust you more.

I have said I don't want a relationship , I just want someone to have fun with and women are ok with that in my experience. The women I see know I am not a beta provider but they do have fun. If all that makes me sound like a ***** I could care less.

I like spending time with women, even when I am not having sex with them. I don't consider that a waste of time. Maybe it is because I am older and sex is not the relentless necessity it once was. (shrugs).

Different strokes for different folks. Live long and prosper.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Maybe I am a weirdo but I enjoy it when it takes a few more dates. Sometimes I will deliberately not close the deal when I know they are desperate for it, heh heh heh. If I know the interest is there then so long as I keep the entetest and sexual tension high then I am not in a rush.
I think lack of desperation shows abundance mentality and drives the hamster crazy. I have never had an issue with LMR. By the time I lay them they are usually DTF and are up for anything. The message they have been given is if you want to **** me you earn it. That is what most women tell men. It messes with them to get it reversed. This doesn't mean I don't get first or second night lays. They are just not as much fun for me.

It seems some of us are more the 'lovers of the chase' type. I love the process of dating, and seeing some tension built. If/ when we have sex, I want her to be ready for it, and not regret it. You see a lot of guys who can bed a woman, and then complain they can't keep them around. It must be a continuous full-time job for them to find women. The L in LLTR besides loving could stand for lazy, or leisurely. ha ha

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Laid-back, lethargic, licentious,

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Liable.. lousy...

It's all about one's own interpretation. It is what you make it.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

I never said I waited several dates to be sexual. I am sexual from the first date. I don't always have sex on the first date. There is a difference.
If I am choosing when we have sex how is it on her timeframe? I also made it pretty clear I had options.
As for resentment if you are honest from the start about your intentions then there is less resentment YMMV.
I never lie and pretend I am looking for a LTR. I make it clear I am not. I also never lie and pretend I am monogamous. What does that leave to be resentful about?
The alternative of being with someone with no emotional involvement just for sex, seems like using someone else's body to masturbate with. Lots of fun but a little empty after a while, unless you are doing it to get a top score or bragging rights. IMVHO.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Yes, there is a whole superstructure to the base act of sex that turns copulation into making love. The intimacy of sex becomes a reflection of an emotional intimacy [this is why the woman puts up resistance... or that beautiful woman bedded too early runs away... never to be seen again... from shame]. Any joy we may experience in life comes with this emotional intimacy. Otherwise we are in danger of running around like a black hole to forever consume. Sisyphus comes to mind.

 

[marmel75]

Yes, there is a whole superstructure to the base act of sex that turns copulation into making love.

Fvck making love. I'm fvcking her until she can't squirt anymore and is dehydrated. 3 rounds, 4 rounds, til she has sucked every last drop of cvm out of me. She'll remember that far more than someone who "made love" to her and then rolled over and went to sleep.

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

It's true... You aren't getting it.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Fvck making love. I'm fvcking her until she can't squirt anymore and is dehydrated. 3 rounds, 4 rounds, til she has sucked every last drop of cvm out of me. She'll remember that far more than someone who "made love" to her and then rolled over and went to sleep.

Not if she's used to being ravaged

 

[marmel75]

Not if she's used to being ravaged

Not many dudes are going to be able to do what I do simply from a physicality standpoint based on my strength and amount of work I've put in the gym, so my competition from that perspective is extremely low.

Never underestimate what being in peak physical shape and putting a ton of work in related to posterior chain exercises does for your thrusting power. I'm sending a chick through the bed frame or the wall if she is standing up, hahaha