36 years old, and getting redpilled

[Lotus Effect]

First and foremost.

Trust the users advice/wisdom.

You asked for it, and these guys have been on the run for a long time now.

You might think that:
- You are different
- Your girl is different
- Your situation is different

... well, it is not.

After seeing so much in here and out there, and having knowledge + experience, it is easy to quick read in between lines, and that's where most guys might come from, and not exactly what you've wrote.

Pay close attention to join date, and reaction score for you to get a grasp of who is talking to you.

I have a post about it, if you want to further understand this instruction:

**To all the Newbies, Heart Brokens and Hardcase Believers - Trust the Users Wisdom**

That's right! You are coming here. Like I did. And you are asking questions about this one girl. Again the same way as I did. About your GF that just dumped you. About this girl you have a 3 year crush. How to get out of the friendzone with this particular girl. Anything like that... you...

www.sosuave.net

With that said

As the guys said, the red pill is a very unconfortable pill to swallow, and swallowing it is not only very hard, but can really shatter your perspective of reality, hence it's name.

I guess that you can start with the good and old mystery method to give you some crutches to learn gaming

DL Here: Mystery Method

And also the book of pook, especially the 15 lessons

Fifteen Lessons

A young man sat and pondered the next phase of his life. “It is time,” he said, “for a girlfriend.” Yet, this new course in his life seemed both exciting and frightening. “But success will not come without much failure,” he realized. “If only there was a way to avoid the painful trials ahead.”...

www.sosuave.net

You can find the whole audio book narrated here, so you can listen to it at the gym

The Book of Pook

My Narration of the entire Book of Pook. You can also get all these recordings in MP3 format for $19. https://gum.co/nyyBa Thank you for listening!

youtube.com

These posts also help on how to behave in general, and what not to do:

Instant Attraction and The Truth about Sex

I must say I've gone full circle when it comes to understanding social dynamics. Every time I think I've hit the ceiling, and there's nothing else to learn or achieve when it comes to female response, I'm struck with something so simple and so effective that it forces me to rethink everything I...

www.sosuave.net

Ways to Increase Actual and Perceived Value

We all know that in general a woman must perceive your value being higher than hers in order to be interested in you. A woman will almost never "downgrade" to a man who she sees as below her in value. It's time for us to cull together our collective knowledge of how to convey value to...

www.sosuave.net

.

And absolute no brainer,

HIT THE GYM. 5 times a week.

Ciao!

 

[Alucard88Cool forum!]

A desire to improve is a good thing.



At some point in time, you were good at some parts of approaching. You got women at least somewhat interested and didn't repulse them. It seems like you had the wrong goal. Rollo Tomassi wrote in an article in 2012 that getting a number became useless in the pre-smartphone cell phone era and into the early part of the smartphone era as compared to the era of landline telephones.

Sex in the 90’s

Solo hit me up with an interesting question once: There’s been lot of threads popping up lately of how technology/social networking has changed dating, I know I’m a bit younger then mos…

therationalmale.com

I have said for a long time that there is no point to collecting a phone number without concrete date plans.

If you want fast sex, you have to push for same night sex from a nightlife approach now.

If you're looking for some sort of more traditional dating relationship with actual dates, you need to arrange the date in-person with a female on an initial approach and then collect her phone number.



In the early stages of dating, talking on a telephone has nearly been eliminated since the early 2010s when smartphone ownership reached a high enough level. In the era of smartphones, it's become very difficult to get women to agree to talk on the telephone. This is a change in early stage dating I haven't liked. In my earlier days of dating (as a high schooler in the late 1990s and college student in the early 2000s), phone conversations were far more of a thing.

I would only have expected that comment from a 35-40 year old man who had been with the same woman since 2009-2011 and not tried to date any new women since some point in the early 2010s. I know of numerous 35-40 year old men who have been with the same woman for 13-15 years at this point.

I was thinking the exacltey same thing. In fact the fact that each time women ghosted me on the phone, was very frustrating, and I tought a lot of times that I hate this dinamic. I never tought that in fact is just a waste of time, and that I have to conclude right in the moment.

One of the reason why I don't have so much results (sometimes happen I get a kiss) is because I am scared to loose status in a social environment.

If I am at the gym, university, or a disco, I am always scared to loose status, I fear the consequences of the rejection, because if a woman reject me in front of other people, I basically loose that status I am very good to show. I am quite a self confident guy, and I am quite balanced, I would say enev tough. And basically my behavior create a lot of attraction, but I am so scared to loose that image. And this is why I don't approach in social environments, I usually approach on the street.

How to overcome this fear? Or maybe, how to approach without loose status?

 

[Alucard88Cool forum!]

And absolute no brainer,

Thanks a lot for your answer. Yes I'll do everything you told me. Thanks

 

[Lotus Effect]

Go for it man!
There is still time!

Actually, being 36, you are in your prime as a man.

Get your sh!t together. Study. Go practice.
Be dilligent as an adult male. Exercise your body. Eat clean. Drink water.

In about a year you will see a completely different man in the mirror.

If you wanna peak, ditch bad habits, such as drinking and smoking.

Drink might help you with the ladies in the short run, for you to build confidence.
Terrible for longevity in the long run.

Also, hygiene and fashion can work miracles.

Brush everyday. Get a cool haircut. Use parfum. CKone never fails.
If you don't know how to dress. Dress all black. Also never fails.

Cheers

 

[Alucard88Cool forum!]

Go for it man!
There is still time!

Actually, being 36, you are in your prime as a man.

Get your sh!t together. Study. Go practice.
Be dilligent as an adult male. Exercise your body. Eat clean. Drink water.

In about a year you will see a completely different man in the mirror.

If you wanna peak, ditch bad habits, such as drinking and smoking.

Drink might help you with the ladies in the short run, for you to build confidence.
Terrible for longevity in the long run.

Also, hygiene and fashion can work miracles.

Brush everyday. Get a cool haircut. Use parfum. CKone never fails.
If you don't know how to dress. Dress all black. Also never fails.

Cheers

Actually i am not starting from zero. I have a stile, I am confident, I know something about girls. Let's say, tah I had my successess, but many fails. I got so many good occasions, and even proposes, I even ended refusing many girls attention. But my point, my goal, is to be confident to bring the girls I like to bed, and having good relations with them.

I have some unresolved fears wich I will think about. But of course, I think that to rebuild everything it require to remvoe the old me. Just the fact that I am here speaking with people about this stuff, is something I never found before, I was just trying hard doing the same mistakes, wich ended in a lot of refuses, and a lot o anger towards women. The redpill aplified this anger a bit. But now, I am seeing a more positive male flourish inseide me. Is about 2 weeks that I don't mansturbate (I don't drink and I quit to smoke 3 years ago). So I feel I have all the potential to have sex with beautifulll women, but my fears are the biggest issue to face.

Thanks again

 

[Lotus Effect]

Actually i am not starting from zero. I have a stile, I am confident, I know something about girls. Let's say, tah I had my successess, but many fails. I got so many good occasions, and even proposes, I even ended refusing many girls attention. But my point, my goal, is to be confident to bring the girls I like to bed, and having good relations with them.

I have some unresolved fears wich I will think about. But of course, I think that to rebuild everything it require to remvoe the old me. Just the fact that I am here speaking with people about this stuff, is something I never found before, I was just trying hard doing the same mistakes, wich ended in a lot of refuses, and a lot o anger towards women. The redpill aplified this anger a bit. But now, I am seeing a more positive male flourish inseide me. Is about 2 weeks that I don't mansturbate (I don't drink and I quit to smoke 3 years ago). So I feel I have all the potential to have sex with beautifulll women, but my fears are the biggest issue to face.

Thanks again

You are starting from zero, trust me.

All this past 'experience' was just dumb luck. You are alive, interacting with other people.
Connecting is part of the human experience, so it was bound to happen. Don't mean you knew what you were doing tho.

About your fears, they are all in your head mate. They are not real.

Fear is not the issue. Fear is a byproduct. A byproduct of your incompetencies.

This is real. You have to deal with your incompetencies. You have to supply them.
What you have to go through is the rough path of hardening that will humble you in the process.

Good you are no fapping. But don't do things that people tell you just because they say it is right.
@Solomon said it better than me in a previous post in this thread. It got be real to you. It gotta resonate to who you are now, and what you want to become. It got speak louder than any possible failure, otherwise you will keep falling back to previous behaviour.

About female.
There is absolutely nothing wrong, or no reason to get angry.
They are beasts that 100% follow their nature.

Would you get mad at your dog if it eaten the beef you left at your table?
He is following it's nature. It doesn't know any better. You can't get angry. Getting angry won't change it's nature.

Same apply for women.

The same way you want beautiful girls, they want a man.
And what we have nowadays is a society of boys, and feminized man. This is not attractive to woman.

So they will chase the few men, that are actually man. (Read The Book of Pook)

Good luck!

 

[Alucard88Cool forum!]

You are starting from zero, trust me.

All this past 'experience' was just dumb luck. You are alive, interacting with other people.
Connecting is part of the human experience, so it was bound to happen. Don't mean you knew what you were doing tho.

About your fears, they are all in your head mate. They are not real.

Fear is not the issue. Fear is a byproduct. A byproduct of your incompetencies.

This is real. You have to deal with your incompetencies. You have to supply them.
What you have to go through is the rough path of hardening that will humble you in the process.

Good you are no fapping. But don't do things that people tell you just because they say it is right.
@Solomon said it better than me in a previous post in this thread. It got be real to you. It gotta resonate to who you are now, and what you want to become. It got speak louder than any possible failure, otherwise you will keep falling back to previous behaviour.

About female.
There is absolutely nothing wrong, or no reason to get angry.
They are beasts that 100% follow their nature.

Would you get mad at your dog if it eaten the beef you left at your table?
He is following it's nature. It doesn't know any better. You can't get angry. Getting angry won't change it's nature.

Same apply for women.

The same way you want beautiful girls, they want a man.
And what we have nowadays is a society of boys, and feminized man. This is not attractive to woman.

So they will chase the few men, that are actually man. (Read The Book of Pook)

Good luck!

You are a source of healty wisdom. I read spirituality, psicology and pragmatism in you. Thanks.

You know what? Probably this is the fact, that I have to deal with my incompetences. In some way, I was blaming women and not getting better because the attachment I had towards the idea that: "I am better than other guys, I know women and women are attracted to me, but oncec I was making things forward, that refuse was the proof that I am not so much a "better guy the than me", and also the attachment that "Women like me because I just am better than the others". So to reduce the refuses from women, and keeping this image of the guy successfull with women, I stopped approach and blamed women. Probably I havve to kill this part of me, I want to change it, because is not healty. The need I had to approach women, was the need to proove my self and the world that I am a lovable guy, successfull with women. The idea to be successfull with women was the need to feel worthy. But if I remove this need, only remain the genuine desire to have fun women and **** with them.

I stopped masturbating because a lot of people explained the bad consequences, but my main reson is because the exitement and the energy I have without masturbating, is something grate, even just interacting with people, I feel much more confidence and I feel stronger.
I did a click in this last days, but sure, as you sead, is something I have to keep, and not falling down to the old pattern.

Yes, maybe having a new mentality, a new me, is like if I have resetted and starting from the beginning again. Oriental people always say "live the experiences like if is the first time, unlearn what you think to know, and discover the new with the curiosity of a child.

About women, yes, you are right, there is nothing to blame, just to accept the reality of what it is.

You made me thinking, thanks a lot

 

[plumber]

I sounds like your doing well or better than average.

In your head, you can see your faults but also your success. It sounds like you worry... about the past and also about the future. Doing this can make the "now" not fun. The more fun you are, the more women and men will be attracted to you. Look to focus on the moment and enjoy everything about it, even when something goes poor look for the humor. It doesn't matter how you feel about it, it will be how it will be. Might as well enjoy it. The way to enjoy the moment is to focus on the moment and not worry about the past or the future. Within reason....

In any stable setting there is an hierarchy of men. If guys are giving you a hassle, its because they don't know where you fit in the hierarchy and are afraid you might be above them. And yes this is one of the most important things about how women will be attracted to you or not. How other men treat you. In simple terms if the pack leader likes you, your in and the hassle will go away. Depends on who that is, or what type of men they like. Probably the book, "48 laws of power" is one of the better source for how to articulate how to deal with men.

Pick women from those that pick you. Learning how to notice who those are is the skill.

Tall, aggressive, smart... always looks like a pack leader. But it might be another.

Cold approach hides your pack status because your alone... Later it will become important and is the common reason that no third date is available.

 

[Alucard88Cool forum!]

I sounds like your doing well or better than average.

In your head, you can see your faults but also your success. It sounds like you worry... about the past and also about the future. Doing this can make the "now" not fun. The more fun you are, the more women and men will be attracted to you. Look to focus on the moment and enjoy everything about it, even when something goes poor look for the humor. It doesn't matter how you feel about it, it will be how it will be. Might as well enjoy it. The way to enjoy the moment is to focus on the moment and not worry about the past or the future. Within reason....

In any stable setting there is an hierarchy of men. If guys are giving you a hassle, its because they don't know where you fit in the hierarchy and are afraid you might be above them. And yes this is one of the most important things about how women will be attracted to you or not. How other men treat you. In simple terms if the pack leader likes you, your in and the hassle will go away. Depends on who that is, or what type of men they like. Probably the book, "48 laws of power" is one of the better source for how to articulate how to deal with men.

Pick women from those that pick you. Learning how to notice who those are is the skill.

Tall, aggressive, smart... always looks like a pack leader. But it might be another.

Cold approach hides your pack status because your alone... Later it will become important and is the common reason that no third date is available.

I always stayed away from this dynamics, I alwasy tought that this hierarchy stuff was bull****. So basically I avoided men company for this reason, probably because I was scared. I wasnt to experiment to deal with men, and fit in the hierarchy .

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Be careful about going too far to the other end of the spectrum like most guys do when they first start this.

Some guys never figure out that being somewhere between the middle 30% on either side is going to give you the best results long term.

Those are easy to spot because they turn into women haters whose only goal in this is to "punish women" for doing what they did to them as AFCs